Nicole turned her attention from her suspected pregnancy to her work. She found solace in the mountain of documents she could lose herself in; they didn't talk back or ask questions she couldn't answer. She wasn't lying when she said she was happy at the possibility of being pregnant. It was the reality that she wasn't sure of. The sceptical voice in her head told her happy endings were only in fairy tales and she'd better wake up and end this farce. But that wasn't her heart speaking. A glimmer of hope has been ignited, a flickering flame of optimism that burned despite the cynic's efforts to thwart it. Needless to say, she was struggling to drown out both voices when she found a request on her desk. Jasmine wanted her to visit that afternoon and Pollock's attached note ordered her to go – wearing a wire. Great, she thought, just another manic Monday.

Her guilty steps lead her to the Juvenile Rehabilitation Centre on the Upper East Side. She had never seen Jasmine face to face however she recognised those haunting eyes from the picture in a heartbeat. Those eyes belonged to a lost girl who was crying out without tears. She realised that she couldn't see herself in Jasmine, just what could have been if she had made those choices; this wasn't about who's right or who's wrong, it's the choices that make us who we are.

"No one understands that he was there for me. He listened to what I had to say. He cared about me." Jasmine spoke of Darnell in an idealistic tone, constructing an ideal instead of seeing the man for who he was. Nicole couldn't blame her; she used to do the same thing.

"People who care heal your pain; they don't pacify it." Nicole told her, reflecting.

"Isn't it the same thing? If they make you feel better then what's the crime?"

Nicole refused to justify her with a response. "Why'd you ask to see me?"

"I was curious. Didn't know if you'd come."

"Neither did I."

"And I've heard a lot about you."

"Mmm."

"And I thought you'd understand."

"I don't. The loneliness, attention-seeking, even the rebellion I understand. Because I've done it all. But not cocaine."

"You were addicted to Darnell." Jasmine's smart mouth was working Nicole's short fuse.

"I was addicted to denial that I soothed with him and, came to learn that. One day you will"

"He loved me. What's the problem?"

"He abused you."

"No he didn't. Like I told my dad, we never had sex or anything."

Nicole found her gullibility to be astounding and it angered her; even though she had the makings of a victim, she didn't deserve to be made into one.

"He gained your trust, made you believe in him. In your mind, he cared for you and gave you what you wanted. That's not love. That's grooming."

"You're wrong. He loved me." Unfortunately, Jasmine believed her own words.

"No Jasmine, he was wrong. And he didn't love you."

"He told me he did."

"I bet he told you food was good too."

"The food was good for me."

"The food was a distraction. You know you're worth so…so much."

"Yeah right, I'm sixteen and I'm in rehab." Jasmine rebutted cynically. "My dad won't talk to me and you won't help me get out."

"You're in control now. You wanted that."

"Hell if I know what to do with it."

"You will. Our time's almost up."

"Okay. Why did you put me in here Nicole?"

If Jasmine didn't know by now then Nicole had no answer. "Take care Jasmine."

Jess and Antonio listened closely to the recording in Pollock's office.

"She's looking for someone to blame." Antonio stated.

"She's looking for comfort." Jess replied.

"The comfort in blaming another is as soft as cotton, Mastriani; the guilt of blaming one's self cuts like a knife." Pollock reasoned. "As there is nothing this tape will add to the overwhelming evidence we have discovered, I want it destroyed."

"Yes sir. Excuse me."

Jess' exit was followed by a melting of the machismo that these men prided themselves upon. A layer of the façade was stripped away.

"Domestic strife is the worst kind; as emotionally trying as a war is violent. My soldier is valiant but still…"

"Vulnerable, sir. I know that." Antonio said, wondering were this was going.

"She sees beyond the honour and the facts. She sees people. I think we could both learn something from that."

"Point noted." Antonio replied with an inner pride. "And yourself sir?"

"I'm back where I belong and life makes sense. For what it is."

Nicole knocked and entered. "Sir, about the wire…"

"Consider it non-existent." Pollock interrupted.

"I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. I mean, your resilience has been…commendable. Both of you. Now leave."

They took the long way home. The cold dark roads at night provided the privacy to talk. Just wide open spaces and honesty.

"Did you really think of yourself as a parasite back then?" Antonio asked, switching gears.

"Only to you. If I had thought I was good for you, I would have said yes. God knows I wanted to."

"Well, not that you were, but you have changed."

"Less baggage, more clarity, more room for the good stuff."

"And you're good with kids."

"You think so?"

"It's your voice and the way you treat them. I guess you love more. And I trust you in that way."

"If I'm pregnant, what happens?"

"We have a child. Everything else will work itself out."

"Can you pull over?" Nicole asked.

Antonio sat on the car bonnet with a blanket of stars overhead. Nicole stood facing him and held his hands.

"I haven't taken the test yet." She admitted.

"I know. Why not?"

"Because you deserve to know what really happened first time around. I've been keeping it from you for a long time."

Antonio tightened his grip on her hand. "Go on."

"A week before the incident in Phoenix, Darnell found out about you and me."

"What?" Antonio exclaimed.

"Shhh." Nicole's hand was shaking.

"It's okay, you can tell me."

"He burst into my apartment and started yelling and throwing stuff around. He said that I'd betrayed him…and I'd better start making it up to him."

Antonio's hands were shaking now, his rage was accelerating and the urge to kill, mounting. In his eyes, it was his role to protect her and he had failed, past and present.

"He told me he'd kill you. If I didn't do it first. That's why I shot you; to protect you."

Nicole rubbed the back of his neck with her loose hand to comfort him, but for this much shock there was no comfort.

"At first I said I wouldn't do it because I loved you." Nicole's facial expression transformed from the joy of declaring love to solemnity of sacrificing for it. "And then; he smashed my head into a wall, kicked me across the floor…and made me. I only found out I was pregnant after you'd left."

Antonio let go of her hands and pulled her closer, he needed someone to hold on to. "Nicole, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to believe that someone I used to trust and run away to when I was a scared seventeen-year-old; would rape me. I wanted to run away and hide like I always did; so I had an abortion, take that promotion and moved to Atlanta."

"Did you tell anyone?"

Nicole shook her head. "I buried it so deep inside me that no-one could get to it. Only you. Because I trust you with everything. Like I said; I didn't and I don't and I won't ever want,"

"…a baby with anyone but me." Antonio finished her sentence with an awkward and bittersweet feeling. "I could have understood and stuck by you, if I had known."

"I believe that, but I won't let you bear that lot for the world. I have problems; memories that won't fade and scars that can't heal. And you can't fix that. And having a baby; that can't fix it either. It would be selfish to bring someone so innocent…I want to, I just can't. I just can't do it."

For seven years he had been trying to get closer to Nicole, trying to break through and crack the enigma codes. When in reality, she would always be the one thing he could never completely understand. The permanence of fact and truth gave him comfort; they never changed their meaning, eternally standing in place. Reliable if you will, for they helped you to understand. Somewhere inside was an inevitability that he would never understand her, not completely at least. Maybe that was because he didn't want to or she didn't want him to. Or because there were things about her she didn't even understand. Perhaps his analysis was the barrier; instead of trying to figure her out and predict her next move, he should just embrace it.

She was unravelling before his eyes and showing him the full extent of her love, one that was sacrificial, enduring and strong enough to match his. And at that point, for once, knowing everything didn't matter anymore; her ability to open up and be vulnerable was more than enough.

"It's a lot to absorb, right? I've said too much." Nicole responded to his long silence with regret.

Antonio put his arm around her shoulder. "It's never too much. It's the hardest thing in the world; and you did it. It makes me want to try,"

"Anytime you're ready. I'll always be here."

"When you say that it's scares me. The always. Because there is no always."

"People can't defy time but they can command the time they have."

"That's profound. I mean, it never crossed my mind."

"Well I am educated, don't be too shocked." Nicole laughed. "Look; for the time we have, I promise you forever. Don't count it, just count on it."

"And if there was an always; I'd promise you mine."

For a cold, hollow November night, he gave her the warmest kiss she had ever known. She could taste the remnants of it long after, as if his lips were still there. They lived there. That night they made love. In the passion and the beauty of their intimacy; his always married her forever. Protected consciously by latex yet subconsciously by the security that their unconventional love provided; beyond society's stipulations and sufficient for a life time. Though there was no baby; there was a new life waiting in the morning.