Chapter one

I was depressed. And Xanxus knew that and everyone else in the Varia headquarters-a.k.a home- knew that. And they all knew why. About a few years ago I was on the border of life and death. I was poor-have been for all of my life until now-and I was starving. It was unusual. So many people passed by me as I lye on the cold concrete sidewalk literally dying. Yet the only one who noticed me was him. Xanxus. A Mafioso and assassin. Isn't that unusual that an assassin would save a life. My only reason that I was able to come up with of why he saved me is because he knew me. Not too many of the mafia world know but Xanxus used to be poor as well. And he used to have to beg like I did, and would go days without food like I did. I remember him as an innocent child with hungry but polite eyes, and he always tried to look after me. My mother died when I was young, and I remember her last words to Xanxus was to take care of me and his mother. Sometimes he would give up his own food just to feed me; he was so caring and warm then, so why is he so cold and cruel now. What caused him to become such an arrogant drunk of a man who does nothing but kill and curse the world for its existence? When he took me into his home after saving me from my near death experience, he literally washed me with his own hands and fed me and gave me clothes. I was crying so hard then and even when I ran out of tears I continued to sob and choke. He told me I didn't have to worry anymore, he'd be my lifeline. And that's why my being there became a huge problem. I never intended our relationship to be intimate, but when Xanxus comes on to me, it's like I have no choice. He makes me feel so weak and vulnerable around him that I either melt or cower in his presence. He became abusive and when truly angered would hit me so hard that I'd faint. And he would never apologize, he had every intention to hit me and hearing me scream in pain gave him a twisted pleasure. A year of this and I was breaking down. I couldn't handle anymore of his bullshit so I tried to run away. And he found me and clearly told me that he'd kill me if I ever tried to leave him again. So I remained in his room most of the time. Lying in his enormous king sized bed entwined in silky sheets. I though of what my life would be like if he weren't the one to save me from the cold sidewalk.

There was a soft knock on Xanxus's bedroom door,

"Mana darling! Are you awake? I brought your dinner" Lussuria said in his usual motherly and lately worrisome tone.

"I'm not hungry" I said loud enough for him to hear me.

"Now now dear you said that yesterday too, try to eat something, please love" Lussuria let himself in holding a tray of just vegetables and a glass of water. I sat up, knowing he wasn't going to leave unless I at least took a bite. Lussuria sat on the bed with me, staring directly into my pale blue eyes.

"If the boss wasn't so scary I'd help you, you know that right?" he said and I completely ignored him as I ate a spoonful of carrots, peas, green beans, corn, etc. Xanxus was indeed a scary man; the majority of the mafia feared him.

"Speaking of fear, you might want to leave soon, he's in the shower right now and you know he doesn't like people in his room" I said

"Oh! I completely forgotten" and the fruity man was out of my sight, closing the door behind him. And as if on cue Xanxus appeared from the bathroom door a towel secured around his waist and another drying his hair.

"So I don't have to force you to eat after all" he said. I gave him a bitter look then continued to eat my meal. He chuckled while walking over to the bed and sitting next to me.

"Forcing you would've been much more fun-

-go to hell already!" I scold,

"Geez, I can't even eat without your constant bickering of wanting to torture me" Xanxus lifted a brow. He scooted closer to me and placed his lips on my shoulder, kissing that spot. I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, why aren't you at hell's gate yet?"

"shut up and eat so you can get some sleep, were going to meet my old man tomorrow"