Thanks to Mackenzie L. for being an amazing beta.

And thanks to Kr2009, Anhanninen and MelissaMargaret for preventing me from making Carlisle rip Esme's nightgown apart. ;)

Also, the rating for this story has inevitably changed to M. *winks*

Chapter IV

Beyond the Day My Heart Stops Beating

Esme had lost track of the time she had spent sitting before the mirror of her fine new vanity dresser. Probably twenty minutes, maybe more or maybe less. Time seemed to have flown faster than normal that day.

Trying hard to suppress the anxiety building up inside her, she took a deep breath before she stopped to brush her hair. One more time her eyes focused attentively on the patterns of the silver brush she was holding - a present from her husband… and then again, her gaze couldn't help but wander around her beautiful new bedchamber.

From the delicate curtains hanging on the windows, the exquisite furniture, the pastel colored walls decorated with fine antique paintings, filigree mirrors to the most elegant four-posted bed adorned with the loveliest curtains she had ever seen; everything made her feel more like she was experiencing a daydream. It was hard to believe it all belonged to her.

With ease Esme's hands rolled her long reddish brown hair into a bun on the top of her head, tying the rebellious waves with a cream colored ribbon she had previously taken out from a silver box lying on her vanity. Another present from Carlisle.

The sound of the pouring water filling the tub in the fresher suddenly reminded her that flooding her new house wouldn't be a wise idea. Quickly, she stood from the vanity table and sprinted into the elegant bathroom to turn the tap off. Steam rose up above the warm perfumed water of the clawfoot tub, promising to soothe her tired body as their long travel to Chicago had been enjoyable, but exhausting.

Almost immediately, Esme allowed the straps of her negligee to slide down her shoulders to the floor below and then slowly, the graceful silhouette of her bare body slid into the comforting warmth of the water. It felt so nice, she was tempted to close her eyes and rest but curiosity made her scrutinize the decorations of the ceiling instead.

The house was so refined.

She was sure Carlisle and Edward had noticed the look on her face when she saw the front of the mansion. The old Mansen's home, as they called it, was stunning. It looked a bit abandoned but nevertheless impressive, and what was more important, it was her house now. Back in Columbus the only room she had for herself was her small bedroom. Here in Chicago, she was the lady of the house - one of the most refined houses she had ever seen. Someone had to pinch her to make her realize this wasn't just a dream, that it was real; that she had married the wonderful Doctor early in the morning, leaving her modest farmhouse for an extraordinary house in the city of Chicago.

And as her fingers lazily traced invisible drawings on the border of the tub, she wondered how much of her freedom and liveliness she was going to have to suppress to become the proper gentlewoman of a Doctor.

o)O(o

Downstairs in his new study, Carlisle dropped into a solitary armchair feeling appallingly guilty. The feeling wasn't pleasant at all, and it had been hunting him ever since he left the bureau office that morning as a married man.

He buried his face in his palms in absolute shame as he recalled the quick event that joined his life to the innocent human girl that was now his wife.

As soon as they entered the bureau, the clergyman opened an old, large tome that was lying on a desk. He recalled the old man's gaze studying him and then Esme. The Preacher was surely too polite to question the resolution that quickly prompted their union. Instead, he invited Esme to take the pen that lay in the middle of the book, and sign her name at the end of the page.

And then Carlisle watched the ink spread on the paper, her fine calligraphy forming the curves of her name.

Esme Anne Platt.

He remembered that her lovely hand was about to leave the pen on the desk, when he suddenly took a step forward and without thinking about it, enfolded her hand in his, slowly taking the pen away from her. Their gazes met, and he was sure they would have remained staring at each other for a while if it weren't from Edward's gracious coughs of warning.

Carlisle's heart softened at the memory of that particular moment.

Esme's eyes were stunningly beautiful. He recalled smiling at her timidly, for his soul was already accusing him of doing the inconceivable and then, almost as a reflex, he signed his name next to hers. At that exact moment, she had become his wife.

They were rapidly blessed by the clergyman after that…

God forgive him for what he had done. For what he was doing.

But he loved her so much, so deeply; it was maddening. Even more now that he had the pleasure to spend hours by her side as they travelled from Ohio to Chicago in the special train compartment Edward had reserved for all of them.

God bless that kid.

Carlisle saw Esme's smiles, admired her laugher at Edward's remarks…The most special moment came when Emse discovered the things his son had taken from her house for her.

"But how?" She asked in awe again and again as she cuddled her books and the doll that she'd expected would be left behind. Carlisle and Edward only managed to smile until the boy blurted out the truth.

"I'm a mind reader." Edward shrugged. "I knew you wanted them, so I stole them from your mother's bedroom."

Carlisle and Esme stared at him in shock, one with a killer look and the other one with a sweet smile, knowing very well that Edward was only kidding… Though almost immediately, her arms flew open to embrace him. Edward was shocked at her tender demonstration of gratitude but then embraced her back with a lopsided smile drawn on his face. It had been a while since he had received an embrace.

Carlisle was touched by the sight of what promised to be a family - a family he never knew he would have. Esme's presence surely was going to change their lives. And unexpectedly, as she left Edward's arms, she turned to leave a kiss on her new husband's face - a sweet tingling little kiss.

Edward winked at him as she did.

They were such a family…

Carlisle smiled with his face still buried in his hands. His sweet Esme was the most appealing but painful temptation to his soul; his desire for her represented an inner battle between his morals, his religious values against his feelings and his flesh. She was his fall.

"I'm leaving." Edward suddenly entered the study, loading a rifle.

Carlisle frowned at the view. "What …-"

"We told Esme I was going hunting." He shrugged as he pointed the gun toward a marble bust that stood across the room. "I'm making it look like I'm truly going hunting."

Carlisle sighed as he stood from the armchair. "You don't have to leave…"

Edward just stood there looking at his father, quickly grasping Carlisle's thoughts. "You have gone too far to back away now…" He teasingly pointed the rifle at Carlisle.

"Edward…"

"She truly loves you." Edward cut him off as he lowered the rifle down. "And you love her…I never supported this madness, nor will I support you breaking her heart and you suffering for it." Edward placed the rifle on his shoulder. "You are at the point of no return."

The boy's eyes suddenly looked at the ceiling, as if trying to sense something.

"She is cold; the fire in her room isn't warming her up enough…" He turned around to leave but spoke one more time before he did. "I would get more wood for her fireplace." And with that, Edward left the house.

Carlisle didn't have to read Edward's mind to understand the message hidden in his suggestion. Esme was under his wing now, he was supposed to protect her…and love her. Slowly he walked out of the study towards the end of the stairs.

His mind was turmoil of thoughts.

o)O(o

Right after her bath, Esme pulled a nightgown over her head. The delicate gown slid down her body with silky perfection, but to her horror the fabric was extremely thin and the neck opening too revealing. How embarrassing to stand that way before her husband! To think her mother had packed it for her to wear it on her wedding night.

A soft knock at her bedchamber door made her jump in fret.

Her modesty suddenly made her grasp one of the posts of her bed, hiding behind it as soon as she saw the door being opened. Esme had forgotten that this bedroom wasn't only hers now; it belonged to her husband, too.

"Esme?" She heard Carlisle's voice calling her as he stepped into the room.

Uneasy at the inappropriateness of her gown, she wrapped her arms around her body, still standing behind the bedpost.

Carlisle's eyes couldn't avoid noticing the nightgown sliding past her shoulder, revealing her flawless skin and how the thinness of the gauzy fabric didn't leave much to the imagination. A little uneasy, his eyes quickly looked away from her, trying to avoid leveling up the embarrassment he knew Esme was already feeling.

"I thought…" He spoke, a little hesitant as he tried hard to fight his desire to look back at her. "I thought you might be a little cold." He nodded towards the fire in the chimney.

"I am…" She said as her arms embraced herself even more.

"Well, I believe…" He suddenly approached the bed, and his hand grabbed the soft quilt that was neatly folded on the end. "That your gown is not appropriate for this weather…"

Esme looked away uneasily as soon as she saw him coming closer, but the instant Carlisle stood before her, he placed the quilt around her shoulders.

She tried to find the right words to express her thanks but words failed to come from her lips.

"I'll come back in a moment." His hand quickly caressed her now covered shoulder before he walked out of the room. Esme's stomach fluttered in nervousness as she was aware that he was going to come back to be with her, alone. She chewed her lower lip as she wrapped herself a little more in the warm quilt, her eyes locked on the small fire in the fireplace. Suddenly she felt fear at her mother's words… "You are going to share the bed with him…And whatever he does to you, you won't refuse. He will have the right to do as he pleases with your body."

But Esme knew he wouldn't hurt her. Carlisle loved her…He told her so.

A dry chopping noise coming from outside the window called her attention, and filled with sudden curiosity, she walked towards it. To her surprise, Carlisle was out there in the garden, splitting wood. Esme smiled a little at seeing the refined doctor splitting wood. She had to admit that she had never seen a man of his position doing it, and it made her happy to know that he was unlike any other man of his status. Esme suddenly recalled the Evensons - they were a wealthy, refined family - but the sons were…

"Done." Carlisle entered the room, carrying a pile of logs.

That was quite fast, Esme thought, looking from the window to Carlisle in awe. She snuggled herself even more under the quilt, walking closer to him as he knelt before the chimney and placed the pieces of wood one by one into the fire. The light of the fire seemed to reveal a mysterious glow around him. He looked younger than what he claimed to be - and strong - so very strong. The wood didn't seem to weigh too much to him …probably from splitting so much of it.

"You will be warmer now." He brushed his palms as he looked at her with affection.

"Thank you." She nodded. "You didn't have to do that; it's cold outside."

"I'm immune to cold weather conditions." Carlisle smiled at his comment. That was actually true.

They stood there for a few seconds staring at each other. It felt so bizarre to have each other; to have a wife and to have a husband, to have that special somebody to love. It was something neither of them once thought possible…It was just in that moment when Carlisle realized that he was indeed at the point of no return. Regret was useless, but loving her and protecting her was imperative.

"Come here…" He suddenly found himself whispering, opening his arms to her.

A little uneasy due to her previous thoughts, Esme hesitated.

"Please. I don't bite." He smiled a little. He truly didn't - not humans at least.

Esme's face flushed a rosy pink as she went into his welcoming arms and before she knew, his arms were enveloping her. And for the first time in years, she felt secure.

"Do you like your bedroom?" He whispered through her hair.

She nodded. "It's beautiful, but I don't think I deserve this much."

"You deserve this and so much more Esme." He looked down at her. She was stunningly beautiful. Her rosy lips became a new temptation in that moment, one that his trembling soul wasn't willing to repress. Softly, he tilted down his head to kiss her and as he did, he felt Esme becoming rigid in his arms.

A little concerned, Carlisle looked at her, noticing her face was completely flushed. "I…" She swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry." He said as two of his fingers suddenly went to caress the soft curve of her face with a light, delicate touch. She was so innocent. His fingers reached down to cup her chin, lifting her face a little more. He looked into her caramel eyes, searching for an answer to a question he hadn't spoken yet… "May I kiss you, my wife?"

Esme nodded awkwardly; she had never experienced a kiss, but of course this was something to be expected of her now. Not knowing what to do, she only closed her eyes, and with an unexpected delicateness he kissed the soft blush on one of her cheeks.

She opened her eyes to see a caring smile forming on his lips, and she smiled at him, too. One more time he ventured to claim her lips with gentlemanly delicacy; the first lips he had the honor to claim in all his existence.

They felt wonderfully full and perfect…And Carlisle knew that his next move would have been absolutely inappropriate if they weren't married, but seeing there were no restrictions to adore her, he slid his hands under the quilt that was covering her to rest them on the curves of her waist. Not being able to resist, he softly pulled her body against his. He shouldn't have done it, as her lips were already deliciously tender. The close warmth of her body escaped like a burning fire through the thin gown she was wearing.

This little human was his unforgivable sin, and he knew it. The sweet temptations around her were too strong to resist, and Carlisle was finding himself easily giving into them. A selfish thought crossed his mind, augmenting his desire: she was his wife now, she belonged to him.

The blindness of his mind kept his lips giving her his most ardent attentions. Unconsciously she tilted her head to one side, the crook of her luscious neck becoming his new target. Esme closed her eyes, lost in the new, warm sensations arising in her body; the feeling of being touched that way was thrilling. Out of the blue Carlisle began to battle with the loathsome idea of sinking his teeth deep into her skin, but his heart overpowered that instinct; his love for Esme was extraordinarily strong. Inevitably, his body began to lead her towards the large bed.

She sat among the soft cushions as Carlisle moved up close to her. Their eyes never left each other. The feelings they were experiencing were so unfamiliar but amazingly intense at the same time.

The back of his hand went to caress her face one more time, following the path that led to her neck…

"I shouldn't be doing this…" He whispered. "But you are too much for me…" He breathed heavily as he stopped to look at the quilt around her shoulders, his desire for her had won the inner battle. "I want to love you tonight, Esme."

Esme only stared at him with eyes of unfathomable love and pure adoration. Not knowing how to reply to that wonderful proposal, her hand suddenly reached to caress his beautiful golden hair in response.

"Would you allow me to?" He asked as his fingers brushed the long waves of her long caramel hair, and he moved his body even closer to her. Esme's heart began to beat faster than usual; her breathing quickened when she felt his fingers moving a strand of hair past her ear to then kiss it, moving down to her neck…

"Yes." She simply nodded, willingly surrendering to his love. Carlisle's proposal was something Esme never expected to happen on her wedding night. In her inexperience, she didn't know exactly what wedding nights were all about, but she was sure they were special.

She didn't foresee his next move; while still giving his attentions to her neck, Carlisle's other hand slowly removed the shielding quilt from around her shoulders, exposing her in the inappropriate attire before him.

Suddenly he stopped kissing her to look into his Esme's eyes in worship.

"Don't be afraid." He whispered as his hand glided down the crook of her neck, to then follow the curve that led to her shoulder. The neckline of the traitorous nightgown predictably fell past it and Carlisle's hand followed the path it left uncovered. Her skin was incredibly soft…

"I'm not." She replied.

No. Esme wasn't afraid, but shocked to feel her shameful desire to have him caressing her that way all night. Inappropriate or not, she wanted him to continue. And he seemed to have read her mind for he suddenly he kissed her even more fervently, gently driving her to lie back onto the cushions behind her.

The amazing sensation of having his hard, strong body pressing hers against the softness of the bedcovers was thrilling, exciting, and terrifying. She closed her eyes, shuddering under his touch. Carlisle's hands felt pleasantly cold through the gauzy fabric of her gown. What a strange, amazing feeling… If this was what her mother talked about, and she was expected to do this every night for him, she would do it with no complaint.

Carlisle's soul was suddenly crowded with the desire of an awoken passion. He knew he wanted her, he knew he was going to take her as wished, but he also knew he had to be gentle and careful, for Esme was as delicate as a feather compared to his inhuman strength. Any move could be fatal…and she was his love. His lips teased the delightful skin of her neck and his body gently swayed against hers, seeing Esme was lost under his touch. Carlisle's hand went to explore her curves down further, the lines of her alluring thighs… but her nightgown was beginning to become an irritating obstacle. That's when his fingers decided to slide it up, until the hem was in his hand... But then Esme clasped his hand in shock before he could do anything else.

He looked at Esme, perplexed as she immediately backed away from him, protectively pulling her knees up to her chest.

Now he was the one who was embarrassed. He was surely being too reckless.

"I'm sorry." He closed his eyes. How foolish he was to think she was ready for this. "I…" Carlisle couldn't find the proper words to ask or even try to ask. Yet, his hand went to hold one of hers.

"You don't know what to expect, do you?" He moved up closer to her, close enough to be able to look into her eyes and feel the warmth radiating from her body.

Esme looked terrified, completely uneasy. Her features softened a little at his question, but he could tell she was still tense. "I'm sorry…" She whispered, very still, hoping he wouldn't get angry at her.

"Mother said…" She paused at the thought of sharing the words her mother had told her.

"What did she say?" He squeezed her hand, wishing he could give her a little confidence through his touch.

"That you would have the right to do as you please with my body." She sighed, looking away.

Carlisle furrowed his brow. Ever since he first visited them, he noticed that the interests of Esme's parents were motivated by the numbers someone could hold in a bank account and so, Esme's mother wasn't exactly a good example of motherhood. Her cold way to express the act of love had obviously left her daughter with more questions than answers.

"Do you know what that means?" He asked her.

Esme's face turned crimson red, shaking her head, confirming her ignorance, though she was beginning to get an idea. "No …" She looked up at him guilelessly.

Carlisle gave her a tender smile in return. "You should know that I would never do anything to harm you." He spoke with deep sincerity. "Or that I would cause you any distress." He enfolded her in his arms.

Esme suddenly relaxed in his embrace.

"It means…" Carlisle continued. "That we will become one. One soul, one body in the name of love."

She looked at him. "It sounds beautiful."

"You are beautiful." He kissed her forehead.

Esme buried her face in his chest, trying to conceal a smile, and he allowed his hands to caress her back. He wished he could suppress his desire to feel the softness of her skin without the obstruction of her nightgown. "I shall leave you to sleep then." He kissed her one more time on the forehead, thinking that leaving her would be a better idea, as she wasn't ready to become his woman yet.

"No…" Her hands suddenly clutched his shirt. "I don't want you to leave." She looked up at him. It took her a great effort to do it but still, she took one of his hands and placed it on the curve of her hip. "I want us to…" She hesitated a little, as she didn't know what she was asking for completely. "I want us to become one." But she loved him dearly already.

And he loved her deeply, too. "Are you sure?" He breathed hard as the heat of her skin suddenly began to burn under his palm. His desire awoke again in an instant.

She nodded shyly.

"I love you." He suddenly confessed, absolutely entranced by her beautiful soul; his heart warmed up at the wonderful feeling. He leaned to slide his arms under hers, pushing her back one more time against the pillows; softly crushing his lips against hers. He parted her soft insecure lips and his tongue flicked inside with tenderness. Esme stiffened a little but didn't refuse him as he deepened the kiss, drinking her innocence in. Reluctantly, he parted to look into her eyes, trying to see if it was too much for her...but her arms wrapping around his shoulders showed the opposite.

"I love you, too." She spoke with the sweetest of all voices.

Again, he slid up her gown - only that this time, his hand was allowed to slip under it and caress the soft skin of her thigh. He saw her shuddering, closing her eyes at the feeling and he buried his face in the crook of her neck, drunk with the fragrance of her skin. He allowed himself to enjoy the pleasure of feeling her body under his, feeling the fullness of her breasts pressed against his chest as his eager hands slid up even more under the gown, running along her skin, wishing to reach and touch those marvelous peaks.

The curves of her body were far more enticing that he could have ever imagined, Esme wasn't a girl; she felt like a woman - a woman he was going make his that night. Carlisle didn't know how he could wait so long until he found his mate; all he knew was that she was finally there with him, his manhood aching to feel her.

He suddenly stopped to look at her and saw passion in Esme's eyes as her hands softly caressed the muscles of his chest. Carlisle realized that she wanted to touch him, too, and so he moved off her to unbutton his shirt, but her fingers suddenly took over instead. He stared at her, but Esme didn't looked at him. Instead she was focused on her task.

Taking advantage of this, his eyes ventured to admire the figure hidden behind her see-through gown. He was finally able to admire her body, the perky fullness of her breasts, the curves of her hips. Carlisle knew his eyes were surely darkening with passion. Suddenly, as Esme dropped his shirt behind him, his hands clutched her gown and without even asking and not finding any resistance from her, he pulled the fabric over her head, her exquisite waves of caramel hair falling beautifully past her shoulders as he did.

He remained observing her, stunned by her natural beauty. She was dazzling. The most beautiful human he had ever seen.

A little discomfited, Esme wrapped her arms around her bosom.

"Don't do that." He took one of her hands to kiss it. "You are beautiful…" He kissed it again, then the back of her wrist, pulling her closer to him until he had her naked body pressed against his bare chest. "You are so beautiful Esme…" His hands caressed the curves of her hips, reaching to touch the smoothness of her bottom. "So beautiful…"

She closed her eyes, feeling her face burning, her body awakening in such a way she never knew possible. His lips captured hers one more time, fervently, as his touch intensified, pushing her again to rest back on the pillows. She felt her body weakening, giving into him as he explored her. Then a soft whimper escaped her lips, when he touched her down there. She opened her eyes, roused by the amazing sensation as he covered her with his body. She rested her chin on his shoulder as his fingers explored her core, massaging her delicately. She suddenly became tense.

"Don't…" He whispered, brushing one of his palms along the side of her hip. "Close your eyes and feel." He spoke softly against her ear.

Carlisle wasn't an expert in the matter but thanks to his noble career, he knew where to explore and what to seek for. Esme allowed him to attention of his fingers suddenly stroking her intimate core began to relax her as delicious waves of pleasure began to bring whimpers from her lips.

"Are you enjoying it?" He whispered hoarsely, his arousal aching in his trousers.

She nodded softly, answering with a moan, arching her back to his now rough strokes. His fingers were pressing her core harder, rougher, faster. Stealing not only whimpers but gasps and moans from her. Esme turned her head to a side, burying it in a pillow, lost in her own pleasure. It felt amazingly good, not only to her but to Carlisle, too. He admired her for a second - her beautiful hair was spilled on the pillows and her bosom heaved as he continued his ministrations. To know he was giving her this pleasure made him crave to soon be exquisitely tight inside her.

Carlisle wanted her. He desperately needed to be inside her, and so he stopped his ministrations to nibble her neck, arousing his own pleasure as his hand began to undo his trousers.

Esme opened her eyes at the feeling of his erection brushing softly against her inner thighs. She wasn't ignorant of the male anatomy - immediately she knew what it was - but then his lips were trapping hers, taking that thought away. And as his hands gently pushed her thighs apart and his fingers resumed their ministrations, she got lost in pleasure again.

Then without a warning, he gently pressed his erection against the rim of her innermost part, as if probing first.

Blood raced in her ears as she opened her eyes to see him watching her fixedly. Only at that point did she fully understand the meaning of becoming one. He then placed his lips on her ear. "I love you so much…" He breathed desperately, wanting her badly but controlling himself as he pushed himself into her body, finally taking her virtue.

A whimper of pain escaped her lips, and her hands clutched his shoulders.

Carlisle's breathing had gone frantic with passion yet he spoke with difficulty. "I promise it won't hurt any longer." He pushed himself even further but then stopped, waited for her only a few seconds and then, not being able to hold it anymore, he began to move gently inside of her. His lips moved to her mouth, breathing in her own gasps of pain and pleasure to then move downwards to her chin as his hands softly squeezed the perkiness of her breasts.

She was so blissfully tight, the feeling made his thrusts deeper and harder as her whimpers and moans became longer and louder, bringing him closer to his own climax.

His lips took the rosy peaks of her breasts and his thumb went down to intensify her pleasure along with his movements. To his delight, a cry of pleasure ripped out her throat as she clung tightly around his thrusting body. She whimpered out in ecstasy, something extraordinary that sent him to his own verge, and grasping her hips with dominance he thrust even harder, deeper, groaning and grunting her name to the world as he reached his own pinnacle. His warm seed filled her tender womb as he moaned her name with utter passion.

A second later, he collapsed against Esme, his beauty, his goddess, his perdition. A stunning sense of delightful consumption took him over.

Now she wholly belonged to him.

One of his hands cupped her face and he rolled aside, pulling her close to him. Their legs entwined in a beautiful mess as he kissed the tip of her nose, her cheeks, adoring her…and she hugged him tightly, ignoring completely the coldness of his body.

"Did I hurt you?" He whispered.

She shook her head, still in awe at the thought that something so amazingly intimate, loving and overwhelmingly gratifying could be possible between a husband and a wife.

She buried her face in his marble chest. "Do we have to do this every night?" Her lips brushed his skin as she spoke.

He laughed quietly at the idea. "I wouldn't refuse if you wished to." He looked down at her searching for her eyes. "Would you?"

Esme smiled, her face was beautifully flushed. "No." She giggled softly, hugging him even tighter and he pressed her even closer. She felt so warm, he didn't want to leave her embrace ever again.

"I have never loved a woman like I love you, Esme." He whispered, confessing his deepest feelings to her - something difficult to do after the long years of solitude he had lived. People had always arrived in his life only to leave him behind, alone.

Esme's heart leapt at his words, at the open sincerity, at the tenderness in his eyes. Her hands cupped his face; he was so perfect in every way. "I will love you forever, Carlisle." She told him. "Even beyond the day my heart stops beating." Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke, hopelessly wishing that day couldn't separate them.

And he rested his forehead on hers, wishing deeply that someday, those words would truly become true.

I want to thank you all for the amazing support you have given to this story. Your comments and messages have given me so many smiles. Thank you for being so awesome.

I hope you enjoyed Carlisle and Esme's wedding night as much as they did. :)

Love you guys, until the next time!