A/N: Here's another plot bunny for you guys. Hope you enjoy it! It's short and pretty darn riddikulus.
Dudley Dursley was an excessively normal boy. He had no remarkable powers or intelligent prowess. He was completely and utterly average. But that wasn't enough for his guardians, James and Lily Evans-Potter, and their son Harry. They were a different sort, you see, for they were wizards. And unfortunately for Dudley, they didn't take kindly to normal people. Dudley's relatives constantly tried to love the normal out of him, of all things. They fed him enough, bought him clothes, tried to provide for him, and even tried to listen to his concerns! Dudley felt he was sorely abused.
But sadly, there was nothing Dudley could do. His real parents were arrested and went to prison for child abuse of one of Dudley's frie—uhm, acquaintances. What the police didn't know was that it was Dudley who beat up the kid, and only because he wouldn't help Dudley with his homework (i.e. do it for him). Dudley was infuriated; after all, that's what normal people did, and his parents were sent to prison to be repeatedly sodomized while poor Dudley was sent to live with his loving relatives, the Potters. Dudley would have preferred prison. At least he could be normal in peace there.
But Dudley had had enough. He was going to teach the Potters what it means to be normal, and with that knowledge he would DESTROY the world! On second thought, Dudley thought (I know, I was surprised too), I better just enslave the world. It would be too much to kill all those pretty women I can use to my advantage. Dudley laughed at his poor humor before going about his plot…..
Meanwhile, in the REAL world….
"Harry, honey, what are you doing?" Harry's wife Hermuna asked.
"Oh, nothing love, just writing a bit of humor for us and 'truth' for all the woolies out there," Harry replied, "Anyway, what's for dinner?"
"Fried Muggle with mashed Tomato stew. Why do you ask?"
"Oh no reason, the author of this wonderful work just wanted an insight into real life."
"But, this isn't real life, this is a story. Whoa, it's a story-ception!"
"Hermuna, now is not the time for overused but oddly appropriate references. Now is the time for dinner."
And so they ate.