The Room

A/N: Bloody exams! I'm sorry it took a little bit long to post this... I had to write it in between papers and exams and 10 minute breaks... So I hope that it is good.

Disclaimer: Nay! I don't own them. But Sirius didn't go thorough the veil. He's locked inside my wardrobe.

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Hermione jumped and gasped at the same time, rudely awoken from the memories by no other that Harry. Hermione turned to look at him with widened eyes, touching her chest.

"Harry! You scared me!" She wheezed. "Did I fall asleep?" She asked. Harry shook his head no, looking at her with something Hermione could only describe as worry- but what was he worried about?

"You... Well..." Harry started with some difficulty, as if he couldn't find the right words. "You looked petrified." Hermione's brow furrowed and she smiled unconvincingly.

"Harry, that's ridiculous," she retorted with a raspy voice. "I should really try to speak more often." She thought. Harry, again, shook his head.

"Honestly, you did look like that. Your mouth was agape and you weren't blinking," he told her. "As if you had fallen asleep, but you were wide awake," he tried to explain. Hermione smiled and broke the eye contact; facing the ceiling again and closing her eyes.

"Ron's rubbing off on you," she commented barely above a whisper, for some reason feeling drained.

"Don't change the subject, Hermione." The seriousness in Harry's voice made her look at him.

"What?" Hermione sat up slowly, with a groan of tiredness. Harry frowned at this and sat next to her stretched legs and sighed.

"Look, Herm, I don't know what's wro-,"

"I'm alright," Hermione automatically cut him off, closing her eyes once more and resisting the urge to let her body sag. It was just so draining to move; she was so tired... so tired...

"No, you're not alright. You're exhausted." Harry's firm voice made her want to cry; the fact that he was still willing to help her –and was able to see through her lies- was both a terrifying, yet warming thought.

"Harry..." She trailed off with that hollow voice of hers. She wanted to tell him what was going on, what she was feeling; Hermione wanted nothing more that to hug him and cry on his shoulder, confessing how lost and alone she felt... But, for reasons yet unknown, she couldn't bring herself to tell Harry about what she was feeling. She just couldn't! Also, she couldn't muster the strength to open her mouth and user her voice. Harry stared at her.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it. But I'm here, okay? If you ever need something, don't hesitate. I'm worried about you," he told her softly. Hermione lowered her gaze as her lower lip started trembling. She must not cry, she must not cry... Once she had pulled herself together, she glanced at him.

"Why should you be worried?" Hermione asked in a whisper. Harry raised his eyebrow at the question.

"Maybe because of the rings under your eyes? Rivotril? Because you don't read anymore? I could go on and on." He retorted, and breathed in deeply. "Not to mention the episode in Sirius's bedroom." Hermione's breath hitched at the mention of the room.

"What- what about it? I already told you what had happened-,"

"You wanted to take his pillow with you, Hermione." Harry said. Hermione blushed and looked down and away, trying to figure out what to say.

"R- Really? I- I don't remember that," her voice was shaking. Harry touched her arm gently and Hermione had to look away, for tears had sprung from her eyes. Stupid Harry! Stupid sweetness! Why was she beginning to cry? Why did Harry have to be such a good friend?

"Well, you wanted to." Harry softly said.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered, ashamed that he had to see her like that. She could only imagine the look on Harry's face when he saw her on Sirius's bed. What if he suspected something?

"Nah, don't be. I know that you'll talk when you're ready, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm here." Hermione nodded at this, nonchalantly wiping the tears from her eyes before he could notice.

"Thanks. Where are Ron and Ginny?" She quickly changed subjects, away from those very dangerous waters. Harry smiled.

"They're waiting for us in the garden. Are you coming?" Harry wanted to know. Hermione sighed at this. She didn't want to be around people anymore...

"Of course." Maybe her mood would improve if she spent some time with her best friends. As they stood up and walked though the living room, Hermione got lost in her thoughts again. She felt awful. Poor, naïve Harry... It hadn't been the first time she had entered Sirius's room. No... Hermione knew perfectly well why she had entered his bedroom a few nights ago. She wanted to feel him again, wanted to hear his voice...

She had had to content herself with a dusty pillow inside an abandoned room. It had felt so good to smell his scent again, one last time- the pillow wouldn't smell like him again. Hermione knew it was pathetic, clinging to Sirius's old pillow like a child holding on to a mother or father after a nightmare. She wanted to take the pillow because it represented a small piece of him; a small token, something to tide her over- but Hermione knew that it was all in vain. It was all in vain, for he had died two years ago.

As Hermione gazed unseeingly at her friends talking, her feeling of guilt increased. Harry would never talk to her again if he found out what had happened two years ago, in this very house. And what would Ron and Ginny think of her? She shivered at the mere idea of their shocked faces. No, they could not find out. They wouldn't understand.

Oh, if only Hermione could see Sirius again. Just for one day. One hour... Enough to tell him how she missed him and loved him.

She knew she couldn't.

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She was back, back in that awful courtroom. But the room wasn't as silent as it had been when they first entered, and they weren't just six people. At least twelve people were fighting around Hermione; their spells hitting the walls, ricocheting off the stone benches, and the veil swung back and forth ominously, as if it was excited with the duels and the screams. Someone pushed Hermione and she stumbled down the staircases, but it didn't hurt at all. She could feel the floor under her, she could hear the screams and sense the anger floating around; but she couldn't feel.

She saw Harry trying to hold on to Neville and the wild dance his feet were making; she saw Tonks duelling with a Death Eater; she saw Lupin, and Dumbledore- Hermione stood up and spotted Sirius, and her heart leapt. He was fiercely duelling who looked to be... Bellatrix? Her face scared Hermione, who opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Desperately she tried looking for her wand, but it wasn't in her pocket anymore! Sirius looked alert and taunted Bellatrix, challenging her, driving her crazy...

Not that she needed the incentive.

Tears of horror filled Hermione's eyes as he ducked the first jet of red light; but he wasn't so lucky with the second one: it hit straight to his chest. Hermione mouthed a scream and tried to run towards Sirius, to stop his fall; THE VEIL WAS JUST BEHIND HIM! "No!" Hermione sobbed; but her legs wouldn't move any faster, no, they weren't fast enough, they felt heavy, as if made of lead- Sirius was falling, falling backwards in slow motion, his eyes sported a shocked look.

Hermione frantically searched for her wand and it suddenly was in her hand. "Accio Sirius! Accio Sirius!" She tried first, but the spell wouldn't work, goddammit! "Locomotor mortis! Wingardium Leviosa! ACCIO SIRIUS, ACCIO!" But her wand wasn't responding, and Sirius was now inches from falling into the veil- "STOP, SIRIUS, STOP! ACCIO, ACCIO!!" She knew the spell wasn't working, but there was nothing else she could do: her face streaming with tears, her legs wouldn't move, and the stupid wand wasn't helping. "DON'T FALL!" Hermione ended up screeching. "DON'T LEAVE ME! WHY DON'T YOU STOP FALLING?!" Her voice was breaking down to pieces, and he couldn't hear her.

The last thing she heard was Bellatrix laughter; the last thing she felt was her heart breaking; the last thing she saw was his handsome figure being engulfed by the veil-

"SIRIUS!" Hermione breathed, straightening up on her bed. She looked madly around and it took her nearly a minute to register where she was. Hermione felt her body trembling uncontrollably. She cradled her head in her hands and discovered that she was drenched in cold sweat, and that there were tears mixed with the droplets of perspiration. She looked over to the clock on her bedside table, which read 3.30 a.m.

She hadn't been there when Sirius died. She had been unconscious, in another room... Had that been the way he had died? Hermione considered asking Harry, but definitely not right now, no matter how desperate she was. Waking up her best friend in the wee hours of the morning to ask him how his godfather had died was unthinkable.

Hermione lay back on the mattress and covered her face, trying to slow down her breathing. She could not shake the look on Sirius's face from her eyes, or her own screaming from her ears. "'Why don't you stop falling?'?" Hermione recalled the nightmare. What was that about? She had sounded like a three year old having a tantrum. Or... was it possible that she was blaming Sirius for everything she was going through now, and then? Hermione felt disgusted at herself at this.

Sirius had not wanted to die. Sirius was not to blame for what she was going through. It was all her fault: her incapability for getting over it. True, if nothing had happened with Sirius, maybe his death wouldn't have affected her so much, but... Goodness! She didn't regret about anything when it came to him. "Don't leave me?" She muttered to herself. Maybe the nightmare was simply about her pent up feelings; what she had never admitted to no one.

Hermione rolled over and looked at the clock again. 4.10 a.m. Truth to be told, Hermione had never quite admitted to herself that Sirius was gone. Not at first, at least...

-Flashback-

Apparently, it was late night when she woke up. Why did she always wake up in the night? The strong smell of potions reached her nostrils and she opened her eyes to find the high, cavernous ceiling of the infirmary. "So I'm not dead," was the first though that popped in Hermione's head. But that also meant that they were no longer in the Department of Mystery! The battle had ended. Had the Prophecy been saved? Where were Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Luna? Were they alright?

Hermione rolled to her side carefully, with a groan, and clutched her side. Ron was lying in the bed next to hers, fast asleep. She noted the bandages on his arms. She looked towards the end of her bed and saw Harry sleeping on a chair, and her heart shrunk when she saw his face, illuminated by the moonlight: she had never seen him look more defeated. What had happened to him? He didn't look physically hurt...

Hermione was so thirsty. Her gaze fell on the bedside table and spotted two glasses of water, next to a dozen potions (or so it looked like). Trying not to make a noise, she stretched her arm towards one of the glasses. She felt weak and a bit dizzy; the last thing she remembered was Dolohov's purple jet of light. Her fingers grasped the glass firmly, but when she lifted, the glass slipped from her hand and crashed on the floor- Hermione flinched and she heard Harry jumping on his chair.

"Whozzair?!" He said sleepily, grabbing his wand. Hermione stared at him and Harry widened his eyes, immediately going over to her side. Up close, Harry looked even more defeated and distressed. The spark that usually shone inside his eyes was gone. "Hermione! You're awake!" He whispered, grinning. "Wait a sec," he added, pointing at the broken glass and muttering 'Reparo'.

"Harry, what happened? How is everybody? Are you alright? What about the Prophecy?" As she fired questions at him, the grin on his face steadily faltered, disappearing completely at the mention of the Prophecy.

"Tonks is in St. Mungos, but everybody else is okay," Harry answered at last. "I'm alright." He told her. Hermione frowned at this. Harry had avoided her last question; and she knew he wasn't being completely honest with her.

"And the Prophecy?" She pressed. Harry looked away and didn't answer at first.

"It- It broke. We couldn't hear it." His voice sounded strangely high pitched. Hermione scowled.

"At least Voldemort didn't get it," she retorted. "What about Sirius? Is he safe? Did someone from the Ministry see him?" Harry fixed his eyes on hers without a word, and Hermione did not like the way his brow had furrowed as if he was about to cry. That couldn't mean good news. Anxiety sprung inside her chest.

"Harry... Where is Sirius?" Hermione asked slowly, trying to ease the sudden gut feeling that something had gone wrong. She waited for Harry to tell her that he was alright, hiding in Grimmauld Place. Maybe he had been hit by some hexes and he wasn't exactly okay. Yes, that was it. "But why would Harry look like that if it was the case?" A petulant, small voice said inside her head. Her best friend still hadn't spoken a word.

"He's gone." Harry whispered, lowering his eyes. Hermione simply stared at him. The silence was such that it was almost palpable; for a few moments Ron's breathing could be heard.

"You're lying." Hermione answered, transfixed. Her breathing was constricted; a lump formed inside her throat, and her blood froze for a few seconds. Harry was lying. Sirius couldn't have died. It was just irrational to think that he would no longer walk on the earth. It wasn't logical. Harry gazed at her again; his eyes looked bloodshot.

"He's gone," he repeated. Hermione cheek twitched.

"No." No, it wasn't possible. Sirius couldn't be... be... No. Her view became blurry. "Don't even joke about things like that," she added barely above a whisper. The rational part of her brain knew that Harry was not lying to her, but a much bigger part of her didn't want to believe it. Harry looked hurt.

"I'm not joking, Hermione," he replied with a trembling voice. "He- He fell into the veil..." he trailed off. Hermione's sight was only water, as the tears started cascading down her cheeks. It maddened her that she was not able to stop them; and the fact that Harry was saying those things made her angrier still.

"Stop lying to me!" Hermione hissed with her eyes wide, sitting up on her bed. The dizziness she had first felt when she woke up returned with full strength, and she was still weak, but she didn't care. Harry stared at her with his mouth slightly agape.

"Hermione-" He began, reaching out to touch her hand, but she tensed.

"Don't you touch me!" She nearly shrieked, her fingers moving to the bedside table and wildly searching for a wand. Her hand grabbed one and pointed it towards Harry's face; who looked even more shocked, if that was still possible. Air, air, Hermione needed air, she was suffocating. Thirsty, thirsty, her mouth was so dry. Through her tears, she could see the hand that held the wand shaking. The sheets that covered her body flew away and Hermione tried to get out of the bed, but Harry had stood up and tried to force her to lie down.

"Hermione, you're too weak, you can't get out-"

"Don't make me hex you, Harry!" Hermione squealed, panting heavily, pointing the wand at his face again. She needed air, she was suffocating; she needed to get out of there; she needed to contact Sirius somehow! Harry widened his eyes and backed away slowly.

"Please, Hermione, you'll hurt yourself!" Harry nearly begged. But Hermione didn't pay any heed to him, still clutching the wand, as she stood up on wobbly legs. How long had she been in bed? She tried to clear her view from the tears, but it was hopeless. Sobbing and panting at the same time, Hermione stepped forwards and nearly fell flat on her face; but used the bed for support.

Every step was a struggle, and every inch of her body moaned with pain, but Hermione could care less. Her head was hurting... She grabbed her side and, as she waltzed drunkenly through the beds, Harry quickly turned around and began knocking on Madam Pomfrey's door, calling for her.

"No, Harry!" Hermione howled; she heard Ron's gasp from being awaken. As Madam Pomfrey opened the door and acknowledged what was going on, Hermione finally did what she had promised to do. "Stupefy!" She sobbed, but because of her poor aim, the curse hit the stone wall just above Harry's and Madam Pomfrey's heads.

"Miss Granger!" Pomfrey shrieked, whipping her own wand from her bathrobe's pocket.

"Harry, what-?" Ron's confused voice could be heard. Hermione resumed her walking; now nearing the door.

"Let me go," Hermione ended up wailing. "Harry's lying," she added, glaring at Harry. She sobbed on the spot and her weak legs wouldn't hold her anymore, so she fell down to the floor and curled into a foetal position. Hermione knew she looked pathetic, but she couldn't help it. She felt empty; she felt as if fine winding tendrils were strangling her heart.

"She's in shock," Madam Pomfrey's voice floated above her, distantly. "Mister Potter, kindly remove that wand from her hand- I'm going to fetch some Dreamless potion." The sounds came distorted to her ears... She could hear Ron's questions, but nobody was answering him... She felt someone taking the wand away from her grasp, and then proceeding to lift her up. Hermione didn't have the energy to fight against Harry's firm grip as he carried her back to her bed.

"He's not dead, Harry," she weakly whispered. "He can't be dead..."

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"Geez, Hermione, you look terrible,"

"Good morning to you too," Hermione muttered, taking a sip from her coffee. Harry grinned and sat down next to her with a cup of tea. "I couldn't sleep," Hermione answered before Harry could even ask. "Nightmare," she murmured. Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Oh? What about?" He wanted to know. Hermione looked down on her coffee and let the vapour lick her cheeks for a few seconds.

"I don't remember," she lied. Harry snorted.

"Yeah, I find the feeling familiar," he retorted. Hermione gathered her courage and bored her eyes into his.

"Actually, Harry... I was wondering if I could ask you something." Harry looked mildly surprised.

"Of course," he replied. Hermione breathed in deeply.

"I was wondering... If you could tell me... What caused Sirius to fall through the Veil?"

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A/N: What a long chapter! I hope you don't get bored reading it... Anyway. Once again, I only ask of you... Leave a review! It's kind of discouraging, you know? I'm being honest. Anyway. Thanks to all of you who do review... Your reviews mean a lot to me!