Nobody's Home

A/N: Well! I'm back, and very happy to be! I hope you won't get disappointed by this chapter... I happen to like it very much. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Harry and Hermione would be together. Are they together? No. So, I don't own them.

"Her feelings she hides,
Her dreams she can't find,
She's losing her mind,
She's fallen behind,
She can't find her place,
She's losing her faith,
She's fallen from grace,
She's all over the place..."

"Nobody's Home"- Avril Lavigne.

-+-

"Are you happy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Happy. That everyone's here... That Harry is with you..."

"And, I might add, that we're acting like a couple of fifth graders on a break, in Myrtle's bathroom?"

"Hey, I am a fifth grader."

"No pun intended."

"Oh, shut up," Hermione said with a smile, softly hitting him on the shoulder. Sirius grinned as he curled his index finger around a strand of her hair.

"Really, love. You do seem older to me," he told her, kissing her softly to emphasize his point. Hermione blushed and bit her lower lip, rearranging herself on his lap. Sirius began kissing her cheek and jaw line, making Hermione giggle and wonder if she would ever be as happy as she had been during the past week. Today, they had chosen the drawing room for some "quality time". It had been normal enough: Hermione had said she wanted to decorate the room; half an hour later Sirius had "stumbled in on her" and had decided to help her out. That was the safe, official version.

And the boring one as well, if Hermione was so bold to add.

Hermione laughed as Sirius, wanting to change his position on the couch to be more comfortable, sat over some garlands and a couple of Christmas bulbs, crushing them. He cursed under his breath and she promptly 'hit' him again because of language. Sirius was, in some ways, like a big child who refused to grow up... He lifted Hermione in his arms (turning her into a squirmy mob of nothing) and carefully let her sit on the desk in front of the abovementioned couch, shaking some pieces of bulbs off his arse. Hermione crossed her ankles and smiled lovingly at Sirius. She couldn't worry about anything: not school, O.W.L.'s, Umbridge or even Voldemort- There was only Sirius and her; safe in that drawing room.

"Mistletoe," Sirius voice broke her reverie; making her blink and look up: he was holding the plant with his hand. Hermione glanced back at him and grinned as she chuckled, leaning in to kiss him.

Who would've known? Sirius Black even had a 'aw, how sweet' side.

It must have been the Christmas spirit what made her put her arms around his neck and shower his face in kisses. Yes... Now, on the day before Christmas, Hermione wished that she could stay in Grimmauld Place forever.

-End Flashback-

Almost three years later from that moment, Hermione wasn't so sure about Grimmauld Place. Oh, how happy she had been when she was young. Sure, she was technically nineteen, but she felt as if she was a hundred years old. It was safe to say that Sirius had been her first boyfriend. So... even if she had been so deliriously blissful with him, had it all been wrong? Logically, yes. But Hermione wanted to forget about logic and even the law. Screw it all. She had been happy, Sirius had been happy... Was that a crime? Of course not.

Right?

Well, that didn't help her feel better, no matter how hard she tried. Hermione hated this time of the year and what it represented to her; she hated how everyone was cheerful and she was miserable: she was so envious of all of them.

"Anyone in there?" Hermione saw a hand in front of her eyes and she blinked.

"Sorry..." she trailed off. Ginny looked worriedly at her and sighed. It was December 24th and, for the first time in years, Harry had suggested that Christmas dinner should be held in Grimmauld Place. Needless to say, Hermione wasn't very excited about it. In fact, she had even planned to go away for Christmas- but, as her parents had been murdered and she was an only child, she had had nowhere to go. Stupid Christmas.

"I have to tell you something," Ginny stated. Hermione raised her eyebrows at how nervous her friend suddenly seemed, and nodded. "I- Well, I wanted to tell everyone later today, on dinner, but considering what the 'surprise' is... I prefer to have someone to talk to if it goes... bad," Ginny continued. Hermione raised her right eyebrow at this, wondering what could be so terrible. Goodness, they had seen it all already...

"Shoot," Hermione replied, crossing her arms over the table. Ginny breathed in deeply and stared at the table, then at Hermione's arms.

"I'm engaged to Draco," Ginny confessed, gazing up at her defiantly. Hermione's eyes widened and she didn't say anything at first, too shocked to react. Malfoy had changed over the War (they had all done so), yes, but that didn't make Hermione forget about the ferret having made her life seem like hell more than once.

"Ron's going to kill you," Hermione finally broke the silence that had fallen over them.

"And you're not?" Ginny asked hopefully. Hermione stared at her and wondered... If Ginny was about to marry a proclaimed enemy... Was it possible that she... Maybe... Could understand what Hermione had gone through with Sirius? If Ginny could have forgiveness, couldn't Hermione be forgiven too? No, the answer immediately came. This is different. Malfoy is one year older than Ginny. He isn't anyone's godfather... Hermione closed her eyes for a moment and covered her face with her hands; all of a sudden wanting to cry. "Hey, are you alright?" Hermione felt Ginny's hand over her arm and quickly agreed with her head, breathing in deeply and forcing a weak smile.

"No, I'm not going to kill you," Hermione finally said, emerging from her hands. "Even though I'm shocked... I happen to know how people who are in prejudiced couples feel," she confessed. Ginny tilted her head sideways, surprised.

"How come?" She wanted to know. Hermione looked down and away, biting her lower lip in a vain attempt to stop it from trembling. Tell her, tell her; she might help... And even if she doesn't, you at least told someone about it...

"I just know." Hermione replied, perfectly aware that the chance to relieve her pain had come and gone forever. "So... How long have you been dating Draco?" she questioned; moving the conversation away from that subject. Ginny, though still visibly curious, agreed to the change in the conversation.

"About two years," she responded. "We never said anything because of all the dangers it could bring, to Draco and I, you know..."

"Yes, Ginny... I know."

-+-

Everyone was here. The Weasley family, Lupin and Tonks, Fleur, Luna... Hermione knew she was being stupid, but she couldn't help to imagining that any second now Sirius would just walk through the kitchen door and sit down next to Harry and Lupin, as he always did. It hurt to know that he'd never do that again. Children were running around everywhere; whether it was just to ask their parents if they could open the presents or something as simple as playing hide and seek in uncle Harry's "big house".

As Hermione looked around her and stole a glance at the kitchen door (can you get a grip? He's dead), she wondered where Ginny was. Would she bring Draco with her? Hermione couldn't get the conversation they had had out of her head. What if Ginny actually understood her? But how would Ginny look at her after that? Would she still be her friend? It was dangerous... Hermione didn't want to lose that friendship. No, she wouldn't tell a soul. She'd try to go one alone.

After all... Wasn't she better off on her own?

Hermione stood up from the table and rubbed her eyes. She wanted to get out of there. Now.

"Hermione, dear, dinner will be ready soon," Molly told her. "Are you alright? You look a bit peaky," she added. Hermione smiled weakly and shook her head.

"Not to worry, Molly. I just... I'll be back soon," she told her, turning around and leaving the dining room. She caught sight of the Christmas tree that proudly stood in a corner and her lower lip started trembling again. Hermione grabbed her cloak and quickly fastened it around her shoulders; striding over the front door and stepping outside. The freezing breeze hit her face and she shivered under the falling snow; she closed the door and she was free. The street was empty and silent. The houses in the neighborhood were all alight... Hermione walked towards the street and sat down on the curb, hugging herself; the cold was unbelievable.

-Flashback-

"Wow, Hermione... You look... Different," Ron told her, ogling at her. Hermione blushed at the comment, nervously touching her curly hair. For the first time since fourth year she was wearing make up, and she had spent hours curling her hair just right. She wanted to look pretty for the Christmas Eve dinner, and for Sirius. It beat her why, though. Harry didn't say anything and merely nodded, but his eyes were almost drilling holes on her face.

"Thanks, Ron," Hermione quietly replied. She was not used to getting those kinds of looks from the opposite sex, to be honest... She was wearing jeans and a turtleneck sweater her mother had gotten her before September. The Golden Trio walked towards the dining room and Hermione sat down next to Ron, biting her lip, as Harry sat on Ron's other side. Molly and Tonks also complimented her new look; dinner was on the table and Sirius still hadn't appeared.

"Remus, where's Sirius?" Tonks asked. Lupin shrugged.

"I'll look for him," he retorted. Just as he was standing up, the kitchen door opened and Hermione recognized Sirius's hand; she began biting her lower lip again. As Sirius emerged from the shadows, she wasn't the only one who gasped. He had shaved and had had a hair cut (did he do it himself?); he looked years younger. He was dressed casually enough, but Hermione thought he looked simply breath taking. Sirius's steps faltered and his eyes swept over the guests to fall on Hermione. A wide smile adorned his face, and Hermione smiled back at him.

"Why Sirius, don't you look handsome!" Molly said, and the bond was broken. Sirius turned to look at her with a half smile.

"I try," he replied.

"Well, I'm glad to see that you have freshened up," Molly told him. "Sit down; dinner's here," she added. Hermione tried to contain her excitement as Sirius had to sit down next to her; his cologne reaching her nostrils and nearly making her swoon. His proximity was intoxicating; Hermione had to physically restrain her arms as to not touch him in anyway.

As dinner went on, Hermione was going bonkers. It was torture to have him so near, looking so damn good, and not being able to do anything! Hermione meaningfully looked at him as she 'reached out for the pumpkin juice' and Sirius chuckled. Seconds after, Hermione felt his leg over hers, and she couldn't help but to giggle. She responded by placing her hand over his leg, avoiding to look at him.

"You look beautiful, sweet," Sirius whispered in her ear. Hermione shivered when she felt his breath on her earlobe, with a grin so wide that it hurt.

"Likewise," she whispered back, her face inches from his. She knew she was being careless, but, frankly... She couldn't care less. Sirius bored his eyes into hers and Hermione had the weird impression that the temperature in the room had gone up three degrees.

Unfortunately, as they had been so careless, someone else had noticed their unusual interaction.

-End flashback-

Hermione sniffed and she wiped her nose with her sleeve; beginning to shiver but not yet wanting to return. Her breath was becoming wisps of vapor in front of her eyes; and her eyes were glassy as she glanced back at Grimmauld Place. Distantly, she could hear the voices, the cheerful voices.

No one was looking for her.

As her eyes went back to the frozen street, she hugged herself tighter. She knew it was selfish, but... Why wasn't anyone looking for her? Was it so blatantly obvious that they hadn't noticed she was missing? Hermione hugged her knees and breathed in hoarsely. Sirius had thought she had looked beautiful on this same night, two years ago.

But now Sirius was dead, and she was alive... In a manner of saying.

The snow still fell, the breeze still blew, and the voices were still cheerful and free of any worries. The lights in the houses were still on; and the world kept turning. And one by one, timidly, slowly, tears began to fall from Hermione's eyes as she shivered, alone, in that desolated street. She crouched over herself, trying to keep warm, and rubbed her hands together. Hermione was ashamed to admit that she was hoping that someone would come to her and talk to her; someone who wanted to be with her.

No one was coming...

"She wants to go home, but nobody's home," a small, broken voice began singing, and Hermione realized it was her own. "That's where she lies, broken inside... With no place to go, no place to go..." She must look pathetic, crying on that curb... "To dry her eyes, broken inside..." her voice died down and she sobbed silently.

Why did she have to live through this? Why did she have to stand it? Why did she have to cry under the falling snow? Why wasn't anyone coming...? Didn't they care? Hadn't they noticed that she was missing?

Of course not. Who would notice a living corpse?

Hermione looked up the cloudy sky with blurry eyes and tried to calm down; trying to find some comfort in the dead memories that seemed to haunt her. "You look beautiful, sweet." She could almost hear him again, sitting next to her... But there was nothing there.

Hermione closed her eyes tightly and hit the frosty curb. "I miss you," she whispered. "I miss you..." Her hand opened and as she touched the snow, she knew it was enough. "I'm coming with you, Sirius," she whispered to the snow. "I've had enough."

-+-

A/N: Well, there you have it. I am very happy to say that I stumbled across a good plot twist and I can't wait to get to it. I'm so excited! I hope that you liked this chapter; and as usual, I hope you review. Please? Until next chapter!