Alrighty, I am DETERMINED to finish this story today or tomorrow! I'm sick of it staring at me every time I open my computer, so I WILL finish it. I'm soooo sorry about the wait and I really wish I could have finished it sooner, but something about this story just kills me every time I open it up to work on it. So here's the newest chapter! And I hope to have the next few up ASAP! I do not own Inuyasha so please enjoy!
Kohaku's POV:
I watched Kagome exit the shack after preparing dinner, instructing the soul collectors to create a barrier around us as a precaution. Frowning, I silently ate my dinner as I watched her.
From the moment I saw her in the woods, I knew something was off. Her eyes didn't shine like they use to, and she didn't hold herself the same anymore. I was hoping she'd tell me what was wrong eventually, but she never did.
When she sat down, starring up at the sky as if in some trance, I turned my attention to Shippo. He was also starring at her, but I noticed tears forming in his eyes, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut and bite his lip while he looked down.
He knew what was wrong; I could tell by the way he looked at her with pity. Did she and Inuyasha get into a fight? Or maybe they got separated from the others; that would explain Shippo's tears.
Glancing at Sesshomaru, I saw he was also starring at Kagome with an angry look in his eyes, but I could tell it wasn't directed at Kagome. Did he know what was going on? Or was he assuming like me?
"Shippo... I know it's not my place, but what has happened to Lady Kagome? Something is different about her, almost as if a part of her has been stolen," I asked, trailing off at the end.
Shippo looked up, wiping his tears frantically and putting on a brave face. I've noticed that he's seemed a lot braver lately. Almost as if he's had to give up being a kid like I have.
"We were collecting herbs for Kaede when Kikyo summoned her. When we went to her she was dying because her fake body couldn't hold the foreign souls anymore and she wanted Kagome to say good-bye for her.
"Kagome couldn't let Inuyasha lose Kikyo again so she gave most of her soul to Kikyo in exchange for her keeping Inuyasha happy, and never leaving him. That was about three weeks ago..." he muttered sadly curling up into a little ball.
"Ever since it's like she can't tap into her personality. She pretends to be okay for my sake, but she's slowly dying. She loves Inuyasha so much she was willing hand him over to Kikyo, but in the process it's killing her.
"I'm sure Sesshomaru has noticed..." he all but whispered, causing my eyes to widen. I spun around looking at Sesshomaru, who only nodded, his expression completely stoic.
"When you first approached I could smell death slowly crawling into her scent. It'll be a while before it claims her but the longer she is without her soul, the quicker it will come," He explained before standing.
"I will return in the morning," he stated simply, before disappearing out the door. Shippo frowned before turning to Jaken, who was still sucking down his dinner.
"Jaken, why did Sesshomaru agree to help us? And don't tell me it's because Kagome promised to protect Rin. Knowing Sesshomaru, he would have taken that as an insult, almost as if she said he wasn't suitable to protect her," Shippo stated, narrowing his eyes slightly.
Jaken sighed before placing his dish down, frowning as he starred at Kagome. After a few moments he turned back to us, a distant look in his eyes.
"I've been traveling with Sesshomaru for many years, so I know him better than you may think. He's always detested humans, almost as much as he detested Inuyasha. However, when he met Rin, many of his opinions changed.
"He grew a soft spot for humans, and he was able to pinpoint where the hate originated from. He resented Inuyasha's mother, Izayoi, from taking his father from him. When Inutaisho left Sesshomaru's mother for a human, he felt betrayed.
"Ever since then, he hated humans. He found them to be selfish nuisances who only cared about themselves.
"That's also why he hated Inuyasha. He believed that if Inutaisho and Izayoi didn't conceive Inuyasha, Inutaisho would have come back to him and his mother, and he blamed Inuyasha for their Father's death.
"However, when he met Rin, he learned that while some humans are selfish, there are some who are not. He realized he had no right to hate Izayoi when he didn't even get the chance to know her.
"He also realized that Inuyasha didn't have a choice in this. He didn't ask to be conceived by Inutaisho, but he was, and blaming him was just as bad as hating humans.
"He knows Inuyasha cares for Kagome on both emotional and instinctual levels. His demon blood has chosen her for a mate, and we were certain he fell in love with her.
"When canine demons mate, they usually mate for life. They're very loyal and when they lose their mate, it's as if they die on the inside. Even though Sesshomaru will deny it, his reasoning behind assisting you is because he knew she'd offer to stay with him and Rin.
"If she stays with us, he may be able to prolong her life long enough for Inuyasha to come to his senses.
"Right now, even though he's probably in pain, his human heart still holds feelings for the dead wench, and because he knows Kagome is alive. If he were to find out she passed, he could very well die of grief.
"He wants to protect Kagome in an attempt to make up for all the years he abused Inuyasha," he finished as he closed his eyes and sighed.
"But wasn't Inuyasha in love with Kagome?" I asked, frowning in confusion. If I remembered correctly, he worried about her constantly.
"I... we thought he was. Part of me wants to believe he still does love her, but if he did, why hasn't he come after her?" Shippo commented, more to himself than anyone else.
Turning my attention back to Kagome, I knew that if she continued to bottle up her emotions, it'd only make her die quicker.
"Someone has to talk to her," I decided, standing up while Shippo quickly followed suit and grabbed my leg, trying to stop me.
"Look, Shippo, Kagome loves Inuyasha, yes she handed him over to Kikyo like it was nothing. She may appear stronger on the outside, but on the inside she's probably a wreck.
"If she keeps bottling in her sadness, she'll lose her mind, and it'll make her die faster. I need to try and save her. After all she's done for me, it'd be cruel not to return the favor," I told him, pulling away and walking outside while he pouted and nodded meekly.
I walked slowly outside to where she sat on the hill. If she heard my approach, she didn't acknowledge it. Sighing softly, I took a seat next to her and stared up at the sky for a few seconds, trying to plan my words correctly.
"Shippo told us what happened," I confessed, deciding to get straight to the point, while she sighed.
"I figured he would," she murmured, frowning as she stared at her feet. "I'm okay, really. Sure it's hard sometimes, but I can manage. I mean I'm not sobbing all over myself, and Shippo and I have survived on our own fairly well," she insisted, smiling weakly at me.
"Kagome, when Naraku first brought me back to life, I blocked out all my memories because it was too painful to think about it. I... I killed my father, and my clan, and I just couldn't deal with the guilt.
"The longer I went bottling everything up, the more careless I got in battle. I no longer cared if I was killed by a demon. I would have died too if I didn't just give in and let myself remember.
"It was hard at first. I cried a lot, and I could barely function by myself, but as time passed I started to forgive myself.
"I didn't willingly murder my clan, I was being controlled. The fact that you were able to give Inuyasha up proves how strong you are. You don't have to prove yourself anymore, you've already done more than enough," I finished, causing her eyes to snap up to meet mine.
As I stared into her eyes, I could have sworn I saw something break, and before I had a chance to react, tears were pouring down her face. She then flung herself at me, burying her face in my chest as she gripped the front of my happi tightly in her hands.
"I just miss him so much!" she cried, sobbing loudly into my chest while her shoulders shook violently. I draped my arms loosely around her in an attempt to comfort her as she cried, and it seemed to help because her sobs became less violent and more desperate.
I don't know how long she stayed like that, but eventually her sobs got replaced by light hiccups before disappearing all together. She cried silently for a few more minutes before her breath evened out and she fell limp against my chest.
"She fell asleep," I whispered, before scooping her into my arms and carrying her back to the shack. Gently laying her on the floor next to Rin, I slumped against the wall next to Shippo who had fallen asleep.
Closing my eyes, I desperately tried to lull' myself to sleep, but I couldn't get the sight of Kagome crying out of my head.
For some reason, when she cried like that, it made me want to punch Inuyasha in the face. I know if I tried he'd easily break my hand, but I couldn't help but feel protective of Kagome.
In the short time I've known her; she's become like a sister to me; a sister whose heart was broken, and needed someone to comfort her.
When Sesshomaru returned, he took his place against the wall before staring at Kagome and raising an eyebrow in question.
"The scent of death has faded. It is still there, but not nearly as prominent as before. How did this happen?" he asked, turning his cold eyes to me.
"I was able to get her to let out her bottled up emotions. I think after she cried, it allowed her to tap into her personality a little, and extend her life," I explained and he nodded.
"You have prolonged her life, I believe you can consider your debt to her repaid," he stated bluntly before turning away and closing his eyes.
Once again I closed my eyes; however, when I opened them again I could see the sun peaking over the horizon.
Stretching my arms I looked around the shack and noticed that everyone was already awake and Kagome was busying herself by making breakfast.
"Good morning Kohaku," she said, smiling at me and I noticed how much brighter her eyes were today.
"Good morning, Lady Kagome, how are you feeling?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes while she turned back to what she was doing.
"I'm doing okay, I think. I feel a lot more like... myself," she stated, trailing off slightly, while Shippo smiled and gave me a thumbs up.
"After breakfast we can pack our things and start traveling. The sooner we get you back to Sango the better," she explained, serving food to everyone, besides Sesshomaru who refused.
As I ate, I couldn't help but notice Kagome was barely eating her own meal. She picked at it with her chopsticks, taking small bites now and then, before dumping the rest into Shippo's dish when he wasn't looking.
Could Sesshomaru and Shippo really keep her alive? I know she's doing better now, but what if I'm not here to make sure she doesn't fall back into that darkness?
"Maybe I should stay with you guys for a little while, just… just until things settle more," I offered quietly, placing my dish on the floor while she looked up at me and frowned.
"Kohaku, I know you want to look out for me, but you and Sango have been suffering for so long. She needs to know you're okay," she insisted, smiling sadly at me. "I'll be fine, I promise," she stated, completely unaware that she was slowly dying.
Once everyone finished eating, we packed up our things before beginning our journey. Sesshomaru and Jaken lead the way with Ah-Un, while Kagome, Rin, Shippo and I followed a few feet behind them.
Shippo clung to my shoulder, watching Kagome as she explained a game called "I Spy" to Rin.
"You will keep her safe, right?" I whispered, still not completely assured that she would be okay. Shippo stiffened, his claws subconsciously digging into my shoulder, but I ignored it as I stared at him.
"I'll try... but I don't really know how. You talking to her prolonged her life for another month or so, but I don't know what losing you will do to her. You're her last connection to Sango and the others," he explained, causing me to sigh.
"I shouldn't be leaving her. Not now at least, but a part of me really wants to see Sango. She's hurting too, and Kagome is right. Until Sango knows I'm okay, she'll never be able to move on in life," I said, frowning.
"I don't want to choose between them. Sango's my sister, I've known her all my life and I love her, but Kagome's like a sister to me too, and she needs me. She needs us! I couldn't live with myself if I left and she died," I breathed, choking back a sob that tried to push past my throat.
"But if you don't leave, she'll blame herself and that might push her over the edge," he stated, causing my stomach to clench. "Kohaku, you need to be with your sister. If something happens with Kagome, I'll come find you," he promised, smiling slightly while I sighed again.
"You better," I muttered, jogging slightly to catch up to the others who had pulled ahead while Shippo and I were talking.
Sesshomaru announced around noon that Inuyasha and the others were traveling towards us while we were approaching them. When Kagome began to panic, he explained that Inuyasha still couldn't sense them.
The only reason he was able to pinpoint their location was because of Kikyo's scent, which stretched for miles it was so awful. Since they were traveling towards us, however, it meant we'd only be traveling for a few more hours before Kagome could send a soul collector to summon Kikyo.
After that information leaked out, we all became silent. Rin climbed on top of Ah-Un with Jaken, pulling ahead of us, while Kagome continued to walk in the middle while we kept our distance behind her.
It was truly heart wrenching to watch her. Her hands were folded in front of her, while her head bowed forward. Part of me was dying to know what she was thinking, but another part was too afraid to know.
After a few more hours, Sesshomaru told us that Inuyasha and his group stopped traveling, and we were at a good distance to summon Kikyo. Kagome took a few shaky breaths before extending her arm in the direction of Inuyasha, signaling for the soul collector to retrieve their former master.
"You're sure he and Kiara can't sense us yet," Kagome pressed, pleading at Sesshomaru who in return glared.
"Of course I am sure. Inuyasha is a half demon, his senses are strong, but mine are still stronger due to my pure blood. I am always able to detect him before he can detect me," he deadpanned, as if he was explaining something as simple as talking. "Furthermore, with the dead priestess walking about, they might as well be without their sense of smell," he explained, wrinkling his nose in the process.
She took another deep breath before turning towards me, tears prickling in her eyes. Shippo hopped off my shoulder, joining Rin and Jaken while I approached Kagome.
"I'm really gonna miss you, Kohaku. Promise to tell Sango and Miroku I miss them too, okay?" she pleaded, struggling with her words as she wiped her eyes.
Unable to take it anymore, I flung myself at her, throwing my arms around her in a tight hug. My own tears were now streaming down my cheeks as I clung to her while she hugged me back, crying softly.
"I-I promise, Lady K-Kagome. I p-promise," I choked out, biting my lip in an attempt to stop crying. "I promise to come visit as soon as possible, just, stay safe for me, okay?" I begged while she blindly nodded her head.
"You summoned me?" a cold voice asked, causing Kagome to pull away and wipe her eyes as she starred to her left.
I followed her gaze until my eyes landed on Kikyo, who was standing between two trees with a basket in her hands.
"Kikyo," Kagome greeted, fishing into her pocket for the little pouch she kept her jewel shards in. "Here are the jewel shards I've collected in the past three weeks, but that's not all.
"I was able to get the tainted jewel shard out of Kohaku without him dying, so please bring him back with you and tell Sango I wanted to do one last thing for her," she finished, handing Kikyo the pouch.
Kikyo nodded, taking the pouch from her and placing a cold hand on my shoulder and pulling me towards her. Shippo, Sesshomaru, and Jaken glared at her, and I could see Sesshomaru's hand twitching, prepared to strike.
"Kikyo… how is… is everyone… never mind. Just make sure he gets back to Sango okay," Kagome whispered, stepping back so she was next to Sesshomaru. "I'll see you around Kohaku," she stated, smiling at me through her tears while Kikyo pushed me into the forest.