Explode
Chapter 3: All These Emotions
Spencer's POV
Why? Why do we do things to makes us more sad than we already are? We purposely hurt ourselves just like others do to us. Is that we it feels like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into the ground as they float higher and higher. I watch as Hanna lightly brushes her hand against Emily's. They share giggles and deep glances. I watch and hope it will soon go away because I just can't take it. From time to time they include me in their secret conversations. I answer any question honestly with no want to do so. I try to laugh but I'm afraid it will just come out as a whimper. So I stay silent until I am spoken to.
"Spencer don't you think Emily is beautiful?" Hanna asks me with a smile. I look at Emily which cheeks are darkened and she has her cute shy smile showing. But her eyes are curious.
"Yes, she is very beautiful." I say boldly, and I try to look away from her so I wont tempt myself to say anything else. But she holds me in place.
"I will be right back" Hanna announces as she walks away up the stairs.
"Do you really think I'm beautiful?"
"Yes of course, you're gorgeous." Her smile never goes away.
"Well you are also..." She hides her face in her hands.
"What? I am also what?" I ask, gently trying to move her hands from her face. She slightly peeks up at me before covering up her face again.
"You're beautiful too." She whispers, and I can't help but grin widely.
"Thank you cutie"
"Shhhh you're making me blush" She says putting her finger on my lips.
"Yeah I can tell" I laugh, she playfully punches my arm.
Emily just has that effect on me she can make me sink make me float. She can pull me closer even if we are tearing apart.
"Oh" Hanna voice interrupts the moment me and Emily were sharing.
"Oh" Emily echoes back at her, she quickly turns around to look at Hanna.
"Oh what?" I ask even though I know.
"Oh I don't know" Hanna says.
"Enough with the oh's" I say
"Oooooook" Emily laughs. Hanna even chuckles I just smile.
"Well guys I gotta head out, Caleb wants me to go home for some reason."
"Awww he misses you" Emily tells her.
"Damn right he does." She gives Emily a big hug and a kiss on the forehead and she gives me a small hug and a kiss on the top of my head. Before she leaves.
"Wow that was weird"
"What?"
"Hanna has never kissed me before."
"Yeah I know haha well Spence. Did it bother you?"
"No it was just random"
I don't want to be rude to Hanna I don't dislike her. I just feel that she needs to take a few steps away from Emily. She has Caleb, I have no one to call my own ever since Toby left. Emily and I should be together, I know we belong together. But I can't find enough courage in myself to take the first step. I am going to lose her that way.
Emily lays her head on my shoulder. And I want to tell her so badly stop playing games. But I can't say that I don't enjoy it sometimes. It's going to be a long road before I actually get to call her mine. I know there will be tears, screams, laughter, smiles, pain, anger, happiness. But that is what love is and I am willing to go through it all. I'll fight because that's what a girl need is for someone to fight for her.
A/N: I promise the next chapter will be longer and have more going on. Sorry I haven't been writing as much but I am going to try to catch up now that it's summer.