Explode
Chapter 8: Blind
Spencer's POV
Emily is close, she is near...I can feel her. Her emotions fill the room even when I am not around. I can just feel it...a sense of happiness and a sense of pain. The happiness wins over but sometimes her guilt comes creeping in from the other side. She makes me the best I can be, I just wander if I do the same for her.
"Em, you ok?"
"Yes I am better than ok. I just feel perfect." She says with a smile I smile back at her even though not all of it is convincing.
I can't imagine what she is feeling, I can't picture myself in her shoes. Because I just don't understand enough to. All I can hint is that she tends to miss Hanna every once in a while. You can tell on the days she does, like today. She doesn't talk that much, she just writes and paints. On these days I give her, her time to rest, and process her feelings. She is still going through a lot. I know she is trying her best to make me happy, but little does she know. Just her existing, makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world, and I know I am. She makes this possible.
I never ask her to read her writings or to see her paintings, I just get the vibe that it isn't needed to. Those things are the closest thing to her. Its like her own personal therapy, its her way of leaking out the negative and painful thoughts. So I let her be.
I listen to some music in the living room and lounge around. Until my phone starts to ring, I turn down the music and answer the phone.
"Hello"
"Hey is Ems there?"
"Oh Hanna, um..." I question myself what to tell her.
"Yeah she is here, what is it?"
"I was wandering if I can talk... you know what nevermind."
"No its ok, you can talk to her."
"I just want to know if she has been ok."
"Yes she has, but I think she misses you, honestly."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but Hanna how have you been? We haven't had a real conversation in a while. I think it's weird. I question if we are still friends sometimes." I hear her chuckle a little.
"Of course we are still friends and I agree it has been weird we haven't really talked. Though I am fine, I do find myself missing Emily and you sometimes."
"But mostly Ems though, huh?" She pauses for awhile and takes a deep breath before admitting.
"I'm sorry but yes, I am sure you know why."
"Yes I do and it's ok, I am fine with it now. It is totally reasonable. I know you respect us. That's why you have kept your distance."
"Yeah that's completely true."
"But you don't have to do that anymore, I trust you and I know she needs you too."
"Oh I don't know"
"Are you doubting yourself, doubting that you cant stop from betraying me?"
"No"
"Then I don't know what you are hesitating about."
"Me either."
"Come over then."
"I...I Ok."
"Alright then."
"Bye."
"Bye"
I hope she doesn't make me regret anything. I head to my room to tell Emily the news, she has he head in a book. Which has no title on the front.
"What are you reading?"
"Porn" She says smiling she gives me a teasing look for awhile before saying
"Just kidding it's my journal."
"Oh haha"
"You actually thought I was serious huh?"
"Yeah a little." She closes her journal and sets it aside. To hold out her arms and tell me
"Come here Spencie." She makes me heart flutter as I walk towards her. I stop at the edge.
"What are you doing just standing there, I said come here." She faces towards me when she gets up on her knees.
"I just wanted to tell you..."
"Shhh, just relax." She pulls me into the bed, to lay between her.
"Wow Ems are you ok?"
"Yes, how about you?"
"I am doing just fine right about now."
She smiles up at me, stroking my cheeks. I know I need to tell her that Hanna is coming before it's too late. But damn, you should see the faces she is making at me, and the way her body is moving against mine. Just in the right places. I could just fall into her.
"You feel good, Spencie"
"So do you Em but..."
"But what..."
"This might be the wrong time to say this but Hanna is coming after a while."
"Oh well let's have fun first"
"I'm not sure you are really comfortable with that to tell the truth."
"Why do you think that? Obviously I am showing you I want you. So take me please."
"I want you too."
"You aren't really showing it." I see a look on her face that shows me that she doesn't feel loved or needed right now. And I just don't want her to feel that. She doesn't deserve to feel that.
"I am so sorry, here I will call Hanna and tell her just to come over some other time. We can just take a comfortable little nap together or make love or maybe just talk. It's whatever you want to do."
"All of those things sound great."
"Then all of them it is my love. You know I'll do anything for you right?"
"Of course" She smiles and gives me a cute Eskimo kiss.
It's worth doing anything just to make her smile, because she is just so beautiful and pure. She is worth every single pure thing in this world, no that isn't true. She deserves way more than that. Nothing matches up to. Especially not me that's why I am the luckiest to have her.