Nine.
The weeks that followed when slower than usual for Amelia. She quietly counted the minutes and events that would give her leave to meet Lucius on the seventh floor. After attending her required lessons, she worked on assignments until dinner. At which time, she would eat her meal in silence, nodding to whatever Kingsley whispered in her ear. And when the right moment came, she would excuse herself and climb the staircase to her newfound haven.
That, however, did not mean that she and Lucius spent their time entangled together. Their meetings were much the same. They studied and asked the other's opinion on their own work. Besides the occasional brushing of shoulders or knees, the was no physical contact – something that was driving the both of them mad.
There was nothing more that Amelia would like than to be kissed by Lucius Malfoy. To feel his hands intertwined with hers, to breathe in the scent of him whenever she wanted to, to spend her days with him and only him and not have to lie about it. The thought plagued her day in and day out.
But there was nothing she could do. It wasn't so much the fact that he was a Slytherin and she was not, nor was it that she was dating Kingsley. Both were things that either did not matter or could be easily fixed. It was that be belonged to, not dated, Narcissa Black, that his life had been crafted for him since the day he was born, that any wrong move on his part would result in backlash from a greater force then his father.
It was, she told herself, for his sake that she keep her hands to herself and only stared long enough to quench her thirst.
Her friends, however, were beginning to notice.
"Lia?" Emmeline asked at dinner. "Why are you looking at Malfoy?"
Amelia found herself doing just that more often, and sometimes, involuntarily. She shook her head and grinned at Emmeline as if nothing was wrong.
"Sorry." She mended. "I just can't help but wonder how a person can harbor such a large skull and still possess no adequate brain power.
"Lia!" Kingsley grinned. "You're terrible!"
"But she has a point." Elliot shrugged nonchalantly.
Amelia grinned and turned back to her dinner. She had fashioned many insults to use against Lucius as a precaution. If anyone, like Emmeline, noticed her staring or simply wondered what she thought of him, she intended to spit the rudest phrases possible. So far it had been working. That is, until Kingsley noticed how little free time she had.
"It's just loads of schoolwork." She said with a sigh for effect. "That's all."
"Emmeline certainly hasn't been bogged down." He said pointedly.
"I'm sorry," she sighed, "Part of me has just been distracted." She said, truly regretting how neglectful she'd been.
Kingsley grinned at Amelia softly seeming to understand where she was coming from. Wrapping his strong arms around her, he rested his head atop hers.
"No worries, eh Lia?" he said. "What do you say the two of us get together tomorrow night?"
Amelia pulled away slightly to look at his face. He had asked her on many dates before but his tone was always the same until now. He was eager and anxious for her reply. Any other time, Amelia wouldn't have been so skeptical but she was too short on time to argue. She had promised to meet Emmeline by the lake before dinner.
"That sounds nice." She nodded.
"Brilliant." Kingsley said happily placing a kiss at her temple. "I've got a surprise for you."
"A surprise?" she inquired. "You're already taking me to the Ball. What else could there possibly be?"
"You'll have to wait until tomorrow, love." He teased.
"You win." She huffed playfully. "While I'd love to stay and debate this farther, I have to go meet Emmeline."
"Alright. I doubt I'll be at dinner tonight. Just meet me in the Great Hall tomorrow before dinner." He said with a wink.
"Sorry?" she asked, puzzled. "Before dinner?"
"We have to meet early." He explained. "It could take all evening." He beamed, before departing, leaving Amelia both confused and disheartened. Meeting with Kingsley – or anyone else – after dinner meant that she would not be seeing Lucius, which was something that greatly troubled her.
"Amelia!" Emmeline called from behind the brunette. "There you are!"
Amelia whirled around to see Emmeline coming toward her, Edgar and Elliot in tow.
"Hey Em." Amelia greeted. "I thought you wanted to get together just us girls, unless these two have been keeping a secret from me."
"Well, would you take a look at that, Elliot." Edgar said mockingly. "It tells jokes!"
"No kidding. Let's see if we can get her to tell another one, eh?" Elliot jeered.
"Shove off." Amelia said sweetly.
"Nevermind them. They followed me down here. Said they needed to talk to you." Emmeline shrugged.
"About what?"
"Merlin knows." Emmeline said absently.
"Mum wrote us." Elliot explained. "Well, you, actually. She didn't really write, now that I think about it-"
"What he means," Edgar interrupted, casting Elliot a playful smirk, "is that mum sent you a package."
"Of what?"
"I dunno. It felt like dress robes." Edgar shrugged.
"For the Ball?" Amelia asked more to herself though Elliot nodded. "But I already have a gown."
"Take it up with her." Edgar suggested. "Anyway, I had Nathalia put it on your bed for you."
"Thanks." Amelia nodded as the two boys turned to leave.
"Where're you headed?" Emmeline called after them.
"To meet Nathalia and Cordelia." Amelia explained as the two girls began walking in the opposite direction.
"On Thursday?"
"Every night is date night for those to." Amelia said with a sigh.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"For a senior citizen, no. Not at all. For a seventeen and fifteen year old, of course." Amelia shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems to me that they ought to be living a little bit more. Their lives are just so … "
"Planned?"
"Yes."
"But so is yours in a way." Emmeline said pointedly.
"Unfortunately." Amelia sighed.
"But what more could you want? You have this … amazing family that would go to the ends of the earth for you, a set of the most loyal friends – myself included – and a boyfriend that loves you." Emmeline grinned.
Amelia stopped in her tracks at the word 'love.' It had hardly been a month since she and Kingsley had started seeing each other. He hadn't even said it aloud to her yet. Love was not something that Amelia felt for Kingsley. Care, of course. Adoration, absolutely. But for Amelia to fall in love with someone, it was going to take more then a charming smile and a few compliments.
"Is something the matter, Lia?"
"No, I-" she shook her head. "Kingsley's not in love with me."
"Are you daft?" Emmeline teased. "The way he looks at you all the time. And he's always asking Edgar and me about you when you're not around. I heard a group of Gryffindors say that if they heard the name 'Amelia Bones' one more time they were going to commit mutiny."
Amelia did not laugh alongside her friend. If anything, she was scared. Not only did this mean that Kingsley's 'surprise' was most likely intimate, it meant that Amelia did not reciprocate the emotion.
"Merlin." Emmeline breathed. "You really had no idea, did you?"
"No." Amelia whispered while shaking her head.
"What are you going to do?" Emmeline bit her lip.
What could she do? Having already agreed to date him, Amelia more or less bound herself into a courtship. At the time, she assumed that she'd learn to love Kingsley. But something happened.
She had seen how giddy and excited Emmeline would get when she was around Amos. The affection that they felt for each other was visible. But Amelia had never shown such enthusiasm toward Kingsley, ever. However, she did know one thing; they way Emmeline looked on the outside at Amos was the way Amelia felt on the inside about Lucius. And that was one fact that terrified her.
–––––––––––––
Amelia only visited with Emmeline long enough to be sufficient before foregoing dinner and heading to the Room of Requirement. She listened to Emmeline speak of how happy she was with Amos and how much she enjoyed his company. The light in her eyes and the emotion in her voice were apparent. For several reasons, Amelia was envious. The one person Amelia should have such a reaction to was someone she couldn't, and the one person she shouldn't have such a reaction to was the one person she could. It was a conundrum that she would rather not think about. However, when she stumbled into the Room of Requirement, the vision that fell into her line of sight was not something she counted on seeing.
"What are you doing here?" she blurted without thought.
"Jolly good to see you, too." Lucius replied sarcastically, closing the book he was reading and rising from his seat. "This is a public domain."
"Sorry." She mumbled, looking at him uncomfortably. "I just fancied being alone is all."
Lucius looked at her carefully, desperately searching her face for an expression. Clearly she was preoccupied but he couldn't be sure of what. He rightly assumed that it wasn't a family matter, lest she be mending the situation instead of running. Likewise with Emmeline Vance. No, he thought. This was more complex.
Lucius had finally admitted to himself that he found Amelia intriguing. Her innocence and bravery had caught his attention almost immediately but it was the air of mystery about her that drew him in. He knew absolutely nothing about her besides the given and the fact that she was beautiful. Not in the modern sense, but in the classic and natural sense.
He himself had sought out a place to be in solitude. The main reason being to get away from his surroundings and who he was supposed to be; the leader, the loyal, the future husband of Narcissa Black. It was the latter thought that helped him reach his final conclusion as to what Amelia Bones could possibly be running from.
"When you say alone," he said, placing his book down on one of the many tables, running his long fingers over the spine, "you mean as far away from Kingsley Shacklebolt as possible."
Amelia's head shot up almost instantly. He couldn't have been more correct than if he could read minds. Had he not been so direct – and so much a part of the problem – she may have answered him. As it was, he was half of the equation and she refused to let him figure the rest out.
"That's a bit personal." She said with a small sigh.
"But I'm right, aren't I?" he pressed.
"Why are you here?" she retorted.
Lucius raised his eyebrows, mildly impressed by her quick tongue. One of the things that appealed to him most about Amelia was that she, unlike the rest of the students at Hogwarts, questioned him. His friends and housemates saw everything he did as the right move, a model. But Amelia treated him like she would anyone else; she made him feel like a human being.
"Keeping my distance from the same person you are." He answered calmly.
"I beg your pardon?" she asked, slightly confused. "Why are you avoiding Kingsley?"
"So you are avoiding him." He nodded.
Amelia rolled her eyes, though she did find a bit of humor in his tactic.
"Well?"
"No." he shook his head. "I don't plan on playing chess with the bloke but I'm not going out of my way to keep away from him. Bu you had the right idea." He said, simply waiting for Amelia to put the pieces together.
"I don't understand." She said with a shake of her head.
"Let me put it this way," he said evenly, sitting down on the arm of the couch. "You are to Kingsley, as I am to-"
"Narcissa." Amelia finished in a whisper, brushing her hair away from her eyes. She was uncomfortable with this knowledge, this common ground that they shared. But it posed another question. "Why are you staying away from her?"
Lucius kept his mouth shut, refusing to speak aloud his truthful purpose. He did, however, answer her with his eyes; he let his gaze bare into her, as if he was screaming his motive inside his head. It did not take Amelia long to figure it out.
"I'd just rather," he shrugged, "Spend my precious time with someone else." He said vaguely, though she knew exactly what he meant.
Amelia did not wish to address his reasons now or ever if she could help it. Instead, she crossed the room to where the piano was and sat down on the bench. Looking down at the keys, she waited for Lucius to sit beside her.
There were certain things that didn't need to be spoken aloud. That Lucius felt more comfortable with Amelia then he had anyone was one. She had seen more of him then anyone else had and not on purpose, it was coincidence. She knew he preferred to sleep when it rained, that his favorite color was actually blue and, unlike a proper English gentleman, he hated tea. They were small things, but just the same, she was the only person in the world to know them and that was an idea he could get used to.
Following her lead, he sat down at the piano on her right and placed his hands so that his left arm was wrapped around her back. Music had become their sanction. While many would have just heard the sound of Für Elise echoing throughout the room, Lucius and Amelia heard the sound of each other's heartbeat, begging to let the other in.
–––––––––––––
Kingsley had blind folded Amelia once again. She tried to tell him to trust her to keep her eyes closed but he didn't want to take any chances. It was the Friday night before the Ball, which fell on a Sunday, and it was an evening that Amelia had been dreading since she departed from Lucius the night before. But, she thought regrettably, she made a promise.
"Kingsley. I'm having déjà vu. Where are we going?"
They met in the Great Hall as planned and he had been there waiting, a grin a mile wide on his face and his eyes uncommonly soft. Just as he had before, he led her through various corridors and stairways to ensure that she lost her place in the castle – which she did.
"How much farther?" she said with a sigh. "We've been walking for twenty minutes."
"It's just around the corner." He promised.
Kingsley forced Amelia to stop and she heard him fumble with a latch that undoubtedly belonged to a door. Taking her hand, he led her into a room, letting the door fall shut behind them.
"Where are we?" she asked, her vision still blackened.
"You'll see." She could hear the grin in his voice as he stepped in front of her to take the blindfold off. "You're sure you're ready? Because I can wait if you want-"
"Kingsley!" she protested, grinning.
"Alright." He said with a laugh, untying the knot and disposing of the cloth.
Amelia opened her eyes to look at the location and she felt her heart fall into her stomach. The room was lit with candles, some perched on tables, others atop a mantelpiece with a fire in the hearth, a few were charmed to float overhead. In the middle of the room sat a large four poster bed, complete with curtains that were tied back and what seemed like a dozen pillows laying on deep crimson sheets.
Amelia turned to Kingsley who beamed at his hard work – the effort was written all over his face.
"Where are we?" she asked, looking around, speaking carefully.
"It was an unused class room at one point. I was doing rounds a few weeks back and Professor McGonagall asked me to see if the room was worth any use. Naturally, I told her no." he grinned. "I explained that after some sprucing it would be great, but it could take at least a month. So I touched it up a bit." He grinned, leaning against the mantel.
"You did." She nodded, offering a bit of a grin. "So, what's all this?" she asked, indicating the candles and romantic atmosphere.
"It's nothing." He said dismissively. "But this," he said nodding to the far corner of the room "is enchanting."
Amelia followed his direction and noticed for the first time the charmed violin that had been playing. She just now noticed the haunting tune.
"What do you think?" he asked nervously.
Amelia smiled softly, tilting her head with interest at the object.
"It's beautiful, King. Really, it is."
"I always thought that the violin was the most romantic instrument."
Amelia immediately thought of playing the piano with Lucius seated beside her. The feel of his skin dancing across her, his breath against her cheek, the intimacy that clung to them like static.
And suddenly, Amelia felt guilty. Here she was with her boyfriend, about to embark on the upmost level of commitment and intimacy and she was thinking about Lucius.
Kingsley stepped in front of Amelia, taking her hands in his, locking his gaze on her. The flames, his eyes inviting, adorned his caramel complexion. It was here that Amelia drew the parallels in her mind between the man that stood before her and the man she wished to stand beside.
Kingsley's skin was warm and welcoming, while Lucius' was icy and forewarning. Kingsley had a strong scent of fall about him, a month that brought about changes. Lucius harbored a fragrance of winter, a time for dying. And then, just as Amelia did when she agreed to sacrifice her free time with Lucius, she thought of Robert Frost and his poem, Fire and Ice. The meaning of the poem struck her hard – Frost claimed that both resulted in death and left the reader to decide which was worse.
"Amelia." Kingsley said, threading his fingers through hers. "Are you ready?"
Amelia cast another look around the room, noting that it would be in these surroundings that her life could very well change if she let it. She would be cementing her future with Kingsley Shacklebolt and ensuring her happiness for the future.
Amelia offered him a soft smile and kissed him lightly.
–––––––––––––
The following evening, Amelia ventured to the Room of Requirement to meet Lucius at their usual time just after dinner had ceased. Her day had been longer than usual, particularly because of the previous night. Kingsley grinned more than usual and kept an arm around her at all times, leaving hardly anything to the imagination. Nathalia, Cordelia and Emmeline and even Rita had tried to corner Amelia for details but thankfully ringing bells, teachers and other students interrupted their ambushes.
At dinner, Kingsley sat uncommonly close to her, receiving praise worthy looks from several of his Gryffindor friends. Edgar concealed a silent satisfaction that things had finally fallen into place. Elliot refused to think about his sister 'cementing' anything but he was happy as long as she was happy.
For the most part, Amelia was quiet and reflective. She did not want to bring much attention to herself, she felt that it was no one's business. Just the same, she tossed an appeasing grin at Kingsley throughout the day in appreciation for his silence on the matter. She had asked him to keep the details private and he obliged. Though, she looked forward to the end of the day when she could escape to the Room of Requirement.
Amelia had opened several texts for her Potions assignment and began taking feverish notes. She had been working for nearly an hour before Lucius waked in; Amelia did not lift her gaze or waver in her note taking.
"You're late." She said tonelessly.
Lucius dropped his bag on the floor with a loud thud, clearly agitated. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets before walking calmly to the edge of the desk.
"I got a bit caught up in other matters." He explained, waiting for her reply. When it didn't come, he continued, "You see, throughout the day, I've heard several rumors."
"Well," she said after a moment, "it's a big school with lots of students. You're bound to hear something."
"About Bertha Jorkins or Hestia Jones, sure." He nodded. "But about you and Kingsley Shacklebolt?" he said, tapping his fingers on the edge of the desk. "That's another story."
"I see," was all Amelia said in response seeing no point in pushing the envelope.
Lucius felt his temper rise at her lack of conversation – he had been counting on this address since breakfast when word first reached his ears that Amelia and Kingsley had finally slept together. He almost choked on his orange juice and he didn't understand why. In fact, the reason he was so late was because he was trying to calm himself down at the lake before coming face to face with her. Again, he didn't understand it. Why the events that had ensued between herself and Kingsley had plagued his thoughts, he didn't know.
"That's all you have to say." He prompted.
Amelia sighed and laid down her quill before speaking.
"He's my boyfriend; surely you expected our names to come up in the same sentence."
It had been the first time he had ever heard Amelia properly call Kingsley her boyfriend. Of course he knew of their relationship but it had always been an unspoken truth – he preferred it that way.
"Is it true?" Lucius said without thinking.
The question had been burning through his skull all day and he had to know. He was skeptical – she spent her free time with him all the time, not Kingsley. What possible connection did they possess? Kingsley didn't watch her make herself hot chocolate late at night to help keep herself awake, Kingsley didn't roll his eyes at her whenever she licked her fingers to turn a page, Kingsley's pulse didn't spike when she looked him directly in the eye. Lucius had an edge over Kingsley whether he liked it or not.
"Is what true?" she asked without emotion.
Lucius clenched his teeth together, growing even more irritated by the minute. She knew exactly what he was talking about and her innocent act was wearing on his nerves.
"You and Shacklebolt." He said firmly.
Amelia halfheartedly expected this to be Lucius' reaction. She would not admit it aloud but should their positions had been reversed, she would have played the interrogator, too. But that did not mean she would have expected him to give her answers she herself refused to let slip.
"You're going to have to be more specific the that."
"Goddammit, Amelia!" he shouted, slamming her book shut, leaning over her. "Answer me!"
Amelia stood up immediately, crossing over to the opposite side of the desk while Lucius followed.
"I don't own you any explanation." She seethed with him at her heels. "You are not my keeper." Amelia rounded on him, his gaze hard, intent. "What happens between me and Kingsley or anyone else for that matter outside of this room is none of your damn business." She spat. "You'd do well to learn that now." She finished, shoving past him, standing at the edge of the desk, shuffling through papers, attempting to look busy.
Lucius ran his hand over his face, regaining his composure. He liked to think that he knew Amelia well. He didn't need a formal answer from her to confirm his speculation – one look would do it. Thankfully, he knew what measure to take to get said look.
"Fine." He glowered, folding his arms across his chest. "I do have one question, though."
Amelia sighed heavily, setting the papers down. He was too stubborn for his own good, she thought.
"What?" she said with a tight jaw, her back to him.
"Well," he began, "What with his tremendous experience and your considerable lack thereof, I'm just curious; did it hurt?"
"You vile pig!" she shouted, pulling her wand from her sleeve, closing the eleven foot gap between them. Just as quickly, he managed to grab hold of her shoulders, forcing her to keep still. "If you say another word, so help me Merlin-" she said, wriggling in his grip.
"You didn't do it did you?" he said suddenly.
Lucius saw the look in Amelia's navy eyes; the desperation, the regret, it was perfectly clear. If there was one person he knew well enough to know when they were lying – which wasn't often – it was Amelia Bones.
Amelia stopped short, snapping her mouth shut. Silently putting her wand away, she lowered her eyes from his scrutinizing gaze, making her way to where she stood before.
"Did you, Amelia?" he asked louder, but she refused to answer. "We can keep doing this-"
"No." she said sharply, finally looking up at him. "I didn't."
–––––––––––––
Amelia offered Kingsley a soft smile and kissed him lightly.
"Wait." Kingsley said suddenly, grinning. "I have something for you."
Amelia watched him walk to the bedside table drawer and pull out a small box. His face was bright and anticipatory.
Amelia's breath remained even. She had half expected him to give her something, not because she wanted him to but because that was like him.
She gathered enough from Edgar's less than subtle hints that Kingsley saw Amelia in his extended future, a fact that was comforting and also terrifying. At seventeen years old, he should not have been making such plans and at sixteen, Amelia should not have to be a part of them.
"Here." He said, handing her the box covered in red velvet.
"Kingsley." She said gently. "You shouldn't have done this."
"I wanted to, Lia." He replied, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "Please, open it."
Amelia nodded and lifted the lid off the box to reveal a white-gold necklace with a single charm; a silver heart with a butterfly on it's side. The butterfly's wings held diamonds – the top of it's wings red rubies, the bottoms sapphires – red and blue.
"Kingsley." Amelia said after a moment of admiring its beauty. "Thank you."
The Gryffindor entire face seemed to light up at her reaction. Elation ran deep across his features.
Placing a light kiss on her cheek, Kingsley lifted his gift to her from the box and fastened it around her neck. "I love you, Lia." He whispered.
Amelia knew she was supposed to say those same words back, but she couldn't make herself do it. Instead, she turned to face him, capturing his lips in an engaging kiss.
"Lia?" he said, nodding to the four poster.
Amelia knew that her sense of judgment had always been good and had a way of proving itself. Her gut feeling was always right, and as she stood beside Kingsley, ready to place something in his hands that she could never, ever get back, she felt the need to be honest with herself.
Amelia did not love Kingsley, and did not want to spend her life with him. He was a safe zone for her – someone who would always take her back, no matter what. She could go and live freely and something told her he would wait.
"Kingsley." She said slowly. "I don't think I'm ready for this."
She told herself that she was not lying. Taking the step he wanted her to take was something she was not ready for with anyone. Neglecting to tell him she didn't want to be with him at all could wait until after the Ball.
"I understand, Lia." He said nodding, sincerity in his voice. "I won't make you do anything you're not ready for. We'll have plenty of time for that in the future." He said, running his thumb over her necklace, which may as well have been an engagement ring.
For reason's Amelia did not want to address, even in her own mind, she desperately wanted to be in the Room of Requirement with a man so different then the one that stood before her. Quietly, she wondered that if given time, she would find herself in the same situation with Lucius. Something told her that if Lucius offered himself to her, she would not say no.
–––––––––––––
Amelia bowed her head, almost in shame. It seemed as though she was using Kingsley – keeping him at an arm's length until she wanted him. But that wasn't true at all. Amelia cared about Kingsley, but not in the way he and everyone else thought.
"You bloody hypocrite." Lucius criticized.
"Excuse me?" Amelia said, turning, furious.
"All this preaching you do to 'stand up for yourself' and 'don't let anyone live for you' and here you are letting Shacklebolt parade around like he's won some grand prize with you!"
"You don't know anything-"
"The hell I don't! You wouldn't even look me in the eye!"
"You don't have anything to do with this!" Amelia yelled taking steps closer to him. "What does it matter anyway! I'm as good as married to him!" she said, ripping the necklace from her throat and thrusting it into his hands. "What does it matter if I shag him now or five years down the road?" she said sadly, turning back to the desk. "It doesn't."
Busying herself with work again, Amelia pulled an inkwell from the desk drawer and set it on the edge of the cherry wood. Lucius was quiet, too quiet, as he looked over the gift. With her back to him, it was hard for Amelia to assess what he was thinking.
"Why do you care about it anyway?" she thought suddenly, but still maintained her distance.
It shouldn't matter to Lucius if Kingsley and Amelia did anything. It was their business, and it shouldn't have affected him, but it did. He gritted his teeth at the thought of someone else's hands on hers. He shouldn't think about what it would be like to tuck her hair behind her ear. He shouldn't desperately want to punch Kingsley Shacklebolt in the face. He shouldn't, Lucius thought, do what he was aching to do.
"I don't." he said firmly, tossing the necklace on the table, turning to walk away.
Amelia wrapped her right hand over the necklace, bowing her head once again. So that was that. He really didn't care, she thought bitterly. Well, good. That was one less thing she had to worry about.
She had just lifted the cap off the inkwell when she felt Lucius grab her arm and spin her into him. His body was pressed against her and she was suddenly aware of all of her senses. She could see the exact curve of his lips, the crease of his eye, the angle of his cheekbones. The magnitude of her feelings for him more than doubled. She let her mouth fall open in both surprise and invitation.
Lucius let his hands drift inches from her waist. The depth of her eyes had him enthralled, motionless – something Narcissa Black could never achieve. He was tired of pretending that Amelia Bones did not center around his daily thoughts, dreams and decisions. Silently, he recalled the list of standards that his father had created in regards to whether or not a woman was worthy of a Malfoy; a willingness to stand behind her husband, the possession of beauty to ensure that she got her way and no conscience to feel guilty about it and of course, Pureblood. Amelia Bones only met one of Arabaxtus Malfoy's standards.
Thank Merlin, Lucius thought, that he did not give a damn about his father's standards.
In one swift breath, Lucius crashed his mouth against hers, unraveling a thread of desperation and lust that neither could now deny existed.
Amelia slipped backward against the structure out of surprise but caught herself just in time as Lucius lifted her up onto the desk. Supporting herself, Amelia knocked over the open inkwell with her right hand and clutched Lucius' shirt to keep from falling back.
Lucius entangled his hands in her hair, breathing in her scent, his hands exploring her waist, thighs, stomach. His breath was hot against her neck and he thought for sure that his lungs must burst.
Amelia threw her head backward as Lucius placed his mouth to her throat. This was madness, she thought for a brief moment but she quickly gave herself over to the frenzy. She couldn't fight herself on this any more; she wanted to be with Lucius Malfoy.
Lucius pulled her tightly against him, his hands now holding her in place, as if to keep her from moving away from him.
But Amelia did not want to move. She let herself slip into the curve of his body, to revel in the fact that she could touch his skin, kiss his jawline, see the true color of his eyes – which were closed.
Lucius spun Amelia around so that his back was now against the desk. He ran his hands over her neck and shoulders, committing each part to memory.
Amelia locked her hands around his neck, her mind racing. She couldn't help but wonder what they looked like from afar.
Intertwined in an embrace, lustful and needy, Lucius moved his lips back to hers, nearly biting her bottom lip in his eagerness. She responded with just as much fever; running her tongue over his own, moaning lightly into his mouth. She was kissing Lucius Malfoy. She was kissing Lucius Malfoy.
Suddenly, Amelia broke away, her eyes flying open, the reality of the situation hitting her. She hadn't meant to do that, any of it. She shook her head, her hands flying to her mouth as if she had uttered an unthinkable sentence.
"Oh my God." She breathed, looking at his face, full of longing.
This was real.
Amelia spun around quickly, reaching for the exit. Before Lucius could utter a word to stop her, she had already flung herself out the door. She clutched the doorknob from the outside as if to keep Lucius from following her. Her breathing was heavy and she felt her eyes well slightly. She couldn't want Lucius. She shouldn't want Lucius. But she did, she thought as she sank to the floor, she did.
Lucius looked at the door through which Amelia had made her departure, his hands clenching into fists. He was out of line and not because he had kissed her; because he had kissed someone other than Narcissa. While he should have felt a twinge of guilt at the very least for turning against his betrothed, he didn't. What he did feel was a mixture of longing and remorse. Longing because he wanted more of her, more time, anything just to be near her. And remorse for not holding her closer – he could still feel her in his arms, her lips molding to his, the imperfection of their kiss and how messy and satisfactory it had been, all at once.
Swearing loudly, Lucius turned, angrily shoving the books and papers from the desk. Gripping the sides of the desk, he hung his head.
Tomorrow night was the Masquerade Ball. Amelia would be dancing with Kingsley, but it would be Lucius' face in her mind.
Lucius would be in attendance with Narcissa but it would be Amelia's blue eyes that he wouldn't be able to tear himself away from.
He looked down at his shirt and sighed at the irony; Amelia's handprint was stamped across his chest, just above his heart.
Unknown Soldier by Breaking Benjamin