Hey readers! I'm so happy about the response I got from the last chapter, you're all amazing! A few of you wondered about Ranger, but I want to focus on Steph at this time. So hopefully you'll like this chapter as well, it's a little shorter, but I just had to cut it where I did. So read and review!

Lula stayed for the night. We cleaned my bed and changed the sheets. She offered to sleep on the couch but I wanted to leave the sofa where it was, against the door as a barricade to stop any intruders. She just nodded when I told her that I would sleep better knowing that if somebody was coming in at least I would hear them.

"I understand you." she said to me. "I dragged my closet to the door to stop everyone after Ramirez. It feels safer"

I smiled at her and wondered what I had done to deserve such a loving friend who understood where I was right now. Emotionally unstable, standing on an edge, whatever you want to call it. She was my rock or my lifeline, standing there when I needed her and even when I didn't.

So we slept in the same bed. It felt strange but relieving in some strange way. I wasn't used to having such a large body beside me; Joe and Ranger were both smaller. Lula didn't push me, she let me have my space and I appreciated it. It felt good to have a warm body next to me, but still have some privacy. With Ranger or Joe, there was no space and back then I was happy. Now I realized that space for me was what I needed. Lula understood that without me having to say anything.

I slept better that I had in weeks, only waking up a few times, but every time Lula was there whispering soothing words to me and helping me get back to this world. The nightmares weren't so severe now; somehow the body next to me was a barricade against them. At five AM I decided that I had slept enough and headed to the bathroom. I didn't feel the glass underneath my feet anymore and I didn't event think about trying to avoid stepping on them. I did kick some of it and cleaned a little path from the door to the toilet, thinking about Lula and not wanting to hurt her too. I did my business without thinking about anything. My mind was blank not a single thought crossing my mind. I was afraid of what the day would bring with it.

Lula was making coffee when I dragged myself to the kitchen. She smiled and offered me a sandwich.

"I had some groceries with me last night as I figured you hadn't shopped." she said to me as an explanation. I took the sandwich and sat down taking a bite. Ham and cheese. The sandwich tasted good but I couldn't eat more than half of it. Lula ate the rest of it as I studied the coffee in the cup. So dark and mysterious looking like tar. I realized that I had been walking my whole life in tar. Always something to hold me back, my mom, Joe, my job and Ranger. He always said he would let me fly, but he had made me not want to fly. Now when I should, I couldn't remember how. He was probably screwing that blond bitches brain out in Miami, cowardly leaving someone else to clean his mess like always…

"Oh god, Tank!" I gasped.

"Don't worry. I texted him that I was going to stay the night with you." Lula answered soothingly.

"Does he know… about me? " I whispered, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. He would be so ashamed of me.'"No. I haven't told him anything. He came back with the core team a week ago and they all are worried. They haven't seen you and they don't know what to do. I convinced them to let me take care of you for a while. I mean, those guys are worse than mother hens. "

I smiled.

"And I thought you wouldn't want them to see you like this." Lula continued and took a bite of the sandwich she had made for herself.

"You're right." I said shaking the cup making rings appear on the surface. "He's like a brother to me and he's done so much for me."

"And you're his little sister so you can understand why he's so worried."

"I'm sorry." I whispered and looked up at Lula. She was smiling but I saw the sadness in her eyes as she looked at me. "I never meant to hurt so many. I deserve the pain but you don't. I'm sorry."

I looked around the kitchen and the mess I've made. Thank god that Joe still had Rex. I couldn't take care of him right now, I couldn't even take care of me right now for gods sakes.

"I was thinking that maybe we could clean a little today. At least clean the glass and then maybe look at your feet."

I glanced at my feet all covered in cuts and dried blood.

"Okay..." I said still looking at my feet. They looked bad but I didn't feel any pain. Well let's not talk about my missing heart, because that hurts, my feet not so much.

Lula took out a broom and garbage bags and we started working. There was glass everywhere, large pieces and dust. We worked silently filling a couple of bags with trash and glass. After we were done, we sat down on my bed. I glanced around and despair filled me.

"Lula I can't live here anymore." I said. "I can't live here within these walls, remembering all the memories. All the places where Ranger kissed me, all the places he lied to me…. The memories are just too much for me now. I need to get away and not come back."

Lula took my hand in hers; I greedily absorbed the warmth from her.

"Honey, I get that. I really do. Would you like to stay with me and Tank for a while, we could look for a new place for you. Maybe a fixer-upper? That way you would have something to do, like you wanted. It would be a great project for you, it would help you to let go of all the sadness and as a bonus you would get a gorgeous home. One of my mother's friends did that after she was raped and beaten and she found it helpful. It's just an idea though, you don't have to agree."

I liked the idea. It was strange because I've never really wanted that. DIY wasn't my cup of tea, but now fixing a house sounded like the greatest idea in the world. I could live with Lula and Tank, I knew them very well and I knew that I would be safe there. He had the best security system in the world, so I wouldn't have to push furniture against the doors.

"I would like too if that's okay with Tank as well…"

"Honey, he'll love to have you. I'm happy that you agreed so quickly but let's take care of some more urging things like your feet."

I nodded and climbed on the bed, my back against the headboard, tucking my robe tightly around me. Lula took my foot in her hand carefully. I could see that something wasn't right.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Honey, I can't help you with this, you've cut yourself bad. Would it be okay if I called Tank and Bobby?"

I thought it over. I felt nervous about them coming over but I trusted Lula. I nodded.

"Could we leave then as well?" I asked her. I didn't want to see these walls any longer than I had too.

"Sure thing! You sit there and look pretty and I'll make the call and pack a bag for you." Lula said and squeezed my calf. She picked up her phone and made the call.

"Hey darling!" she smiled as he picked up. "I'm at Stephanie's and I think that you and Bobby could pop by. Don't worry, boo, everything's fine. But tell Bobby to bring his pack with him. Everything's fine, Steph just has a few scrapes."

She hung up. "I mean that man is worse than my mother. One would imagine that he had a lot of estrogen in his body with all the nagging, but I know that that man is a man, if you know what I mean. But let's not talk about his measurements, let's get you packed!"

I didn't want to take much with me. I got dressed in comfy sweats and my dad's old T-shirt I used when I was down with the flu. I wanted to take a few shoes and my toiletries with me. I didn't want any clothes, knick knacks, nothing that could remind me of this life. As we had the last hair product bottle packed I heard a knock on the door. Sheer panic flooded me. What if it's him, what if he's here to break me down some more? The what-ifs filled my mind and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Honey, it's just Tank and Bobby. Don't worry; I'll go open the door. Are you sure that you want to have them here? I could send them back home." She asked me and rubbed my arms to calm me down. I nodded at her and wrapped my arms tighter around me and grabbed the blanket and covered myself from the world.

I heard the door open and Lula's voice muffled. I heard Tank say something and the door was closed. Footsteps. Lula popped her head into the bedroom.

"Tank and Bobby are here with me. Is it okay if they come in?"

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