Hours had passed since Shizuo entered the room. Day turned into night, and night turned into day. Nurses and doctors came in every now and then to check up on him and Shizuo for the past few days. They were even able to take him off the breathing treatment, since his breathing returned to normal, but Izaya still hadn't stirred. It was really unnerving the blond, he was hardly able to sit still in his chair anymore. The lack of sleep probably didn't help either, but knowing Izaya's kidnapper must've come home by now to see it over-run by cops was drilled into his mind. At any second, any moment, that man might march right in here, and Shizuo was going to pound his face in. There was no way in hell he was going to let him touch Izaya again.
Afternoon rolled around, and the sun was nearly completely down the mountain yet again. Shinra should be there in a few minutes to check-up on them, so at least he'd be able to talk to someone. Every now and then, he'd whisper things to Izaya, how his life's been, and how he was going to take good care of him once he got better. But he was extra careful not to touch him, fearing what the reaction would be, especially if he was asleep.
It was the sixth day when Izaya's sheets suddenly moved slightly, making the blond's eyes dart to Izaya's face. His breath left him, seeing the raven's eyes opened a slit, trying to adjust to the lighting. Shizuo had no idea what to do, should he call him? Should he gently hold his hand? Or should he pretend he was asleep? No, he didn't want to pretend to sleep, Izaya might not trust him being around. He shouldn't touch him, remembering how he responded last time. He only had one option, but his heart was beating wildly in his chest.
"Izi...," he gently spoke, allowing his warming smile to befall his face. The raven seemed a bit startled hearing a voice, but slowly allowed his sore head to turn until his eyes meant Shizuo's. They still seemed so lost, so broken, yet now confusion flickered in his eyes more then ever.
"I'm glad you're awake, how you feeling?" He asked. But as moments passed, the raven didn't respond, he just continued to stare at Shizuo. It was a bit unnerving, but he could take it. It was as if Izaya was studying him up and down, though his eyes remained still. As minutes passed, Shizuo was worried that something happened that caused him to be so still, but didn't have the courage to get up and ask for help.
"Shinra, Celty and Kadota are worried about you," he began, though his smile wavered a bit. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He just wanted his Izaya back. "They've been here off and on, though Shinra's been the only one allowed in. He's a doctor now, just like he always wanted... And once you're responding well, we can check you out of this hospital and get you to Shinra's place. It's very secretive, so no one will even suspect that he treats people there..." he trailed off, not even knowing why he had continued the thought. Izaya was still staring at him with those eyes, hardly even blinking. "Kadota's been doing fine as well, making lots of friends like usual." He sighed. He didn't know what to talk about. He didn't want to bring anything up that would upset the poor little Izaya, he just wanted him to respond to him; to hear that voice again, without it begging.
The door opening suddenly drew them out of their thoughts, making Izaya begin to tremble. Shizuo quickly jumped up, making soothing shush noises to him. "It's alright, it's okay, no one but doctors are allowed in here," Shizuo soothed in that mesmerizing voice of his. Izaya looked up into Shizuo's mocha eyes for a moment, as if trying to find some reason to trust him. The blond couldn't blame him, it was probably hard to trust anyone after all he's been through.
"Izaya!" Shinra's voice rang with excitement, but was careful to have a relaxing coat over his voice. "We were beginning to get worried," he warmly smiled, cautiously making his way over to the side of his bed. Shizuo gave him a warning look, which Shinra took to heart.
"How you feeling? Haven't seen you in ten years, man, you've gotten bigger," he smiled, those kind eyes gleaming through his glasses. Those were the eyes that anyone could trust. They were so luring, so comforting. Sometimes it was hard to believe that those eyes belonged to Shinra. Izaya seemed to stare into Shinra's eyes for a while as well, as if seeing things the two of them couldn't. It was quite breath-taking really.
When Shinra realized he wasn't going to get an answer, he cleared his throat. "Don't worry, as Shizuo probably explained, we're gonna get you out of the public, that way you don't have to worry about anyone hurting you, 'kay? - We couldn't bear it if you were hurt anymore." There was something in his voice then that made both the raven and the blond stare at Shinra with much shock. He sounded so sad, almost as if he was grieving, yet happy. Strange.
"Though I better get going, had another urgent call before I came in, just wanted to check up on you. - But I promise to see you later Izaya, be nice to Shizuo, he can be an emotional wreck sometimes~" he teased. Shizuo glowered at him, anger fuming out of his head.
"And here I was thinking about taking back all the things I said?" He snapped. "I take it all back, you overgrown pervert ferret! Kadota and I will never come over to your drunk parties, ever!"
Shinra just smiled evilly from the door, "oh, you won't have a choice, my dear Shizuo~" he chuckled before shutting the door. Shizuo stared at it for a moment, not even knowing what the two of them just argued about. Guess it helped relieve the tension off his shoulders. Heh, that bumbling Doctor really knew him better then he thought.
Shaking his thoughts away, he turned back to Izaya, who was looking at him with those rusty-red eyes just like before. But there was something different about them this time, he didn't now what it was.
"S-sorry about that, he's always driven me insane, if you remember," he nervously smiled, rubbing the back of his head innocently. "He's really good with his work though, he's patched me up more times then I can count. He's even patched me up from two severe shot wounds," he chuckled before freezing. Had he really just said that? To Izaya, someone who was traumatized for who knows how long? Wow, he really was a protozoan. But Izaya still didn't say anything, just continued to stare. The blond noticed his eyes that kept drooping, and smiled to himself. He was quite adorable, even though he was covered in wounds. He always has been adorable.
This is what happened for the next few days. Izaya would watch Shizuo when he was awake, listening to him as he talked about things, mostly nonsense. Then Shizuo would watch Izaya as he slept, trying his best not to comfort him when he was sucked into a nightmare. It was hard, seeing Izaya trembling, hands and legs twitching. Sometimes he'd even mutter things; those were the worst times.
It was at least a week and a half when Izaya seemed to be a little more comfortable. His nightmares were slowly stopping, and he seemed to pay more attention to what Shizuo was saying, but still hadn't said anything. He didn't sleep as much either, which meant his strength was slowly returning. However, his IV was running low, he hoped Shinra would be able to get him out of there by the time it ran out.
It was the eleventh day being in the hospital, and everything seemed just like the previous days, but Shizuo hadn't really said anything, running out of things to talk about. He was really starting to consider taking Shinra's request to read Izaya a story book.
"Would you like it, if I read a few books to you?" Shizuo asked, staring rather absent-mindlessly at the raven. He was finding it harder and harder to hope Izaya would ever trust him again, since he still hadn't spoken to him. "Shinra wanted to bring a few books over, so maybe he and I can share some of them with you since I've run out of things to talk about," he nervously smiled. He knew he wasn't going to get a response, but it was worth a shot. He was going to take Shinra up on the offer anyway.
"You," a small, high-pitched voice suddenly croaked, making Shizuo's heart nearly stop. Had Izaya really talked? Gazing into his eyes, he could see that he was the one that had said something. "Y-you n-never said h-how you were d-doing." It was a bit hard to piece together what he had said, but it could've been due to the shock the monster was in. Izaya was really talking to him, as if he was slowly, very slowly, connecting to reality again.
"O-oh, eh," he frowned,though very happy with the fact that Izaya finally spoke, and it was about him! Yet, he couldn't help but feel sad and lonely, since he felt those emotions in his everyday life. "W-well, things just haven't been the same since you-" he stopped himself, trying to keep the tears back. He hated himself. He hated how he nearly reminded Izaya of everything he went through. He hated how he was the reason for Izaya being in the hospital, suffering. He hated how he was truly a freak.
Izaya's eyes lowered for a moment, a slight darkness overcoming them. Shizuo wanted to reach out for his hand and cuff it, but really didn't want to break the one and only chance he had at talking to him.
"Your hair, i-it's different," Izaya pointed out, letting his eyes stare at it.
Shizuo smirked slightly, running a hand through his blond hair. "Yeah, I've dyed it for a while now."
"Why?" Shizuo's heart sank. Why did Izaya have to hit all the places that ached right now? God it hurt, it hurt so much. He hadn't even noticed that his mood and aura changed to depressed? It was just natural to him. Luckily, Izaya seemed to understand.
"I-I like it, Shi-Shizu-chan." Shizuo could feel his entire body trembling, and badly. Had Izaya really just called him Shizu-chan? After all he's put him through? Studying his face, there was a slight smile plastered on his lips, as if he was remembering the good times. Maybe Shizuo and Shinra's fight a few days ago brought back the good times.
"I-I could hug you right now," Shizuo sniffed, unable to keep the tears back. Izaya seemed to flinch, as if recalling the feeling of being touched, and seemed distant for a few minutes before coming back to reality. It scared him, more then it should've.
"I-I've missed you, Shizu-chan," Izaya nearly cried, but the door once again opened. This time Shizuo sprung up, knowing that it wasn't Shinra this time. He was happy when Izaya didn't let out a screech this time. Maybe he saw how protective Shizuo was being, how he really wasn't going to let anyone hurt him.
The doctor and nurse froze at the sudden movement, not knowing what to do. They knew Shizuo and his anger problems, and of course, his strength. They were petrified of him, even though they tried their best to hide it. But they never fooled the blond for a minute, that fear was always clearly written on their faces, and it dampened his mood.
"W-we're just here to ask him a few questions and check him over," the doctor and nurse reassured, the same ones that had been with him through the whole time Izaya was here. Shizuo looked towards the wall, trying his best to calm him self down. He could feel Izaya's gaze on him now, and wanted to punch his own lights out. How could he let Izaya see his sadness when he needed to be taken care of right now?
Shaking these thoughts away, he nodded. The doctor and nurse didn't say anything, with fears of angering him and waited for the brute to sit back down before they even dared to take a step forward. Shizuo couldn't even find it within him to look at Izaya, though knew he had to once they started checking him. Izaya only semi trusted him at the moment.
"Good afternoon Izaya, I'm doctor Wei, and this is my assistant May," the doctor began, trying to slowly interact with the raven. But he stared at them with wide eyes, unable to keep himself from trembling. Shizuo finally allowed his eyes to lock onto Izaya, no longer feeling his gaze on him, and wanted to shove the two workers out the door. But if they could help, he'd let them. He was going to be sure they didn't overstep their boundaries though.
When Izaya didn't respond to them, they smiled half-heartily, taking a glance at the clipboard in their hands. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want too, we'll understand. Being gone for so long really must-"
"Shut the hell up and just do your job," Shizuo snapped, clenching the arms of his chair. He couldn't believe these guys. They wanted him to remember everything that's happened to him? That's no way to help someone get better, ever. If this was how trained professionals worked, he lost faith in the government.
The doctor and nurse jumped at his voice, staring at him with waving arms. They were too afraid to speak, probably wondering if they were gonna get their heads bashed in. So Shizuo took a deep breath, and allowed himself to relax a bit.
"S-sorry Izaya," he quickly apologized, looking down at his feet. He nearly forgot that anything sudden scared the small teen, though not really knowing if he had frightened him, he still felt bad all the same.
After a few minutes of an awkward silence, the doctor cleared his throat and got to work. He stared at the monitors, then back at his clipboard, recording whatever it was telling them down. The nurse did the same, though glanced at Shizuo every now and then. The blond scowled to himself, he just needed to hold out until they left, he could do that for Izaya.
"We're gonna change the IV, that's it, okay?" The nurse spoke to Izaya, though she clearly couldn't mask the fear in her voice. It made Izaya cringe a bit, looking over at Shizuo with pleading eyes. The blond could hardly register what was happening as the nurse reached over and held Izaya's arm down. Izaya's eyes widened, pupil's so small they were hardly even see-able.
"N-NOOO NOOO NOOO!" He lashed, drunkenly swinging his hands and legs as if he was trying to get free from someone. "I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!" He cried, tears flowing down his face. His voice was so loud, so heart breaking, Shizuo sprung up and shoved the nurse away from him.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" Shizuo snapped to the petrified nurse, who was staring at the two of them with wide eyes.
"Sedative, get the sedatives!" The doctor ordered, taking a step back from the bed. The nurse fumbled her hand into her pocket, making Shizuo scowl. They weren't gonna give him another dose of drugs, not when he was still breathing.
"No, let me try to calm him down first," he pleaded, though really not giving them much of a choice.
"But protocol-"
"Screw protocol!" He sneered, turning his attention back to the raging raven. His hands were burying his face, his body still fighting, and he was rocking, like a small child who had just seen their parents murdered.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he continued to murmur. Shizuo clenched his fists. This was it, this was his only chance.
Slowly, he leaned down to Izaya, keeping his distance like always. "It's okay Izi, it's okay," he gently soothed in that cool voice. "No one touches my Flea but me." Izaya's body seemed to freeze at the nickname, his cries lost. He seemed too shocked to say or do anything, only allowing his head to turn towards Shizuo. The blond warmly smiled, loving the fact that he was able to calm Izaya down with merely one word.
"Isn't that right, Izi? You're my Flea, and-"
"My, my," Izaya quietly spoke, his eyes soft as he recalled a memory. "My neanderthal..." Shizuo could feel his tears slowly going down his cheeks, not bothering to hold them back this time. That was it, he couldn't hold it back anymore. Izaya remembered him, though maybe slightly, it still made his whole world.
"That's right," he smiled, slowly reaching out towards Izaya's head. The raven watched his hand as it crept towards him, watching it with mixed feelings. Slowly and steadily, Shizuo laid his hand gently on that raven ball of hair, being sure that he was just ghosting his hand against his head to reassure him. The blond could feel the raven tremble from under him, shaking and quivering slightly at the presence of the hand. It was clear that the thought of being touched scared him, yet, there was small determination set in those rusty-red eyes; he wanted Shizuo to be able to touch him. No matter how much he wanted to deny the fact, those eyes said it all.
"They're humans, what do you expect?" He continued to smile, slowly running his hand back and forth. Izaya gave a small whimper at the feeling, but slowly began relaxing at the touch. It was completely shocking, actually. If Shizuo hadn't remembered this was one of Izaya's weak spots for comforting, he'd believe Izaya was replaced with a clone.
"Shizu...o..." It was taking everything the blond had not to blush at that adorable face. Despite all the scars and wounds, he looked like a small kitten getting a massage. His eyes were curved shut, his eye-lashes resembling a girls, and his mouth slightly ajar, slightly twisted into a smile. Why did he have to be so freakin adorable?
No, he needed to stay concentrated. Izaya was ill and needed a new IV before anything else. He needed to get that accomplished before he got carried away and scared the poor boy. Slowly, he leaned down to Izaya's ear, keeping his distance, but dared to be a little closer. Izaya didn't seemed to mind, possibly because of the massage he was receiving.
"Do you want me to switch your IV out?" Shizuo asked in that voice that could make even stray cats gaze up at him in wonder. It seemed nearly impossible for his brute mouth, the only person who's heard it before was Izaya; ten years ago.
The raven seemed to take comfort in that voice, as he gave a slight nod. He was probably too transfixed to really say anything. That was fine with Shizuo, as long as he was able to help him.
"But we can't allow you to do that!" The doctor proclaimed from his side. It wasn't that effective, as his voice still shook in obvious fear and anxiety. Those two were really beginning to piss him off.
"I've had to have one of these things more times then you can count," Shizuo hissed, gently moving his hand away from Izaya's hair. Izaya seemed to whimper slightly at the loss of contact, but grew silent. His breathing was easy, the smoothest it's been since they've been there; he could hardly believe it. Was he the reason for that soft breathing...?
No, that was silly, why would he, Shizuo, the one who did nothing to help Izaya when he needed him the most, be able to sooth him like this? Shaking these thoughts away, he began focusing on the task at hand. He gently reached over, hands cautiously touching the wire going into Izaya's arm. The raven barely flinched, which Shizuo was relieved for. He's only done this to himself, not on anyone else. He didn't know what he'd do if Izaya struggled too much, what he'd have to do if he did this wrong.
No, he was going to do this right, to show Izaya that no harm would befall him as long as he was at his side. Gently, he slid the old needle out, earning a small whimper from Izaya; but like before, he remained silent, apprehensive. The blond then carefully took-up the new needle and located his vein. The nurse squeaked a bit, as if she was gong to attempt to stop him, but she didn't.
Shizuo then cautiously injected the needle into Izaya's frail arm, making it hit its target perfectly. Izaya didn't even let out a single noise as the brute injected it, almost as if he hadn't felt it at all. But he knew he felt it, his poor body was so frail the slightest pinch might leave a bruise.
"There, all done," Shizuo warmly smiled, shining it at Izaya's half-closed eyes. He didn't seem too thrilled about what he had just done, but not even Izaya was that stupid; he knew the importance of IV's. He just didn't like needles, which Shizuo really couldn't blame him for. He's always feared needles.
"Thanks, Shizu-chan," Izaya's small voice relayed, shocking Shizuo. He was talking, when there were strangers in the room! Unless he had already forgotten they were there.
"Anytime Izi," he giggled, running his fingers through Izaya's raven hair once more. Izaya seemed to smile slightly at the notion, allowing his eyes to close. It must've been a long time since the poor little raven felt anyone comfort him, in a way, it scared him. Yet, he was just glad he was able to bring this adorable-humble smile to his face.
The doctor cleared his throat, not seeming to like the fact they were invisible to the two in the room. Shizuo really could care less about them, seriously. "Well... we'll just, get going now," the Doctor gulped, looking nervously at the clock. Shizuo knew he saw both of them as freaks now. If only he wasn't a doctor, he'd gladly toss him down the street.
"Yeah, thanks for doing nothing," Shizuo muttered under his breath as the two rushed out of the room. Dammit, why did he scare everyone off like that? Why was his reputation so bad? He just wanted to be like everyone else, he truly-honestly hated violence.
"I-I missed the pets," Izaya spoke softly, now easing into Shizuo's hand. His mouth was parted, just like before, and his eyes were curved with a small smile playing on his lips. He reminded Shizuo of a small animal, a small cat or something of the sort. And he was a sucker for animals.
Oh god, oh god, he didn't know how he was going to be able to deal with this.
Half-lidded rusty-red eyes staring into his snapped the blond out of his thoughts, only now seeing the small blush that covered Izaya's face. Well, he hoped it was a blush-
What the hell was he thinking? Yes, he hoped it was a blush, because if it wasn't, that would mean he was running a fever, which would only make his condition worse. He did get them way too often when he was little, he could still be the same.
"I've missed you, god, you don't even want to know how much," Shizuo smiled, though couldn't help the small tears that were beginning to well in his eyes. He didn't want to cave-in, not yet. He didn't now if he'd scare Izaya, or show weakness. The blond really didn't know what he'd do if Izaya didn't trust him as he once did before; well, trust him as much as he could; Shizuo was the reason Izaya was kidnapped in the first place.
"I'm just glad you're back, that I was able to set you free..." his voice went low and dark, noticing where this conversation was heading. He didn't want to remember the depression he went through, the death he had come so close to on so many occasions. He would be dead, if Kadota and Celty hadn't pulled the gun from his hand at one point.
Izaya's eyes began watering too, his facial expressions going from emotionless to pure fear. He didn't seem to know which one to stick to, and Shizuo understood. He didn't want to show weakness or disobedience, most likely still fearing his kidnapper was going to pop-in at any moment.
Maybe once Shinra was able to get him out of this hell hole, Izaya would be able to be free to feel safe for once. And then, Shizuo could comfort him the way he always did; never letting him go this time.