Chapter 4 - Obsession

She was held captive; an ironic fact that didn't escape Shizuma who was unerringly, at all times, the capturer. It wasn't anything she had planned for or had any suspicions that it might happen, at least not that day. While certainly she had always hoped that someday someone would come along and capture her heart, still, she had never thought it would be like this. Like all wondrous things it had happened completely out of the blue and utterly without warning.

She recalled that she had just ended her relationship with one of her little flowers and was making her way through Maiden Park towards the Strawberry Dorms. The fact that none of her relationships lasted for more than month was, she knew, completely her fault. It wasn't that she didn't want them to last longer. In fact she wanted to love her partner as much as they loved her, yet after a month the passion always left her. Though she could continue the relationship she felt it would be unfair to the little flower she was with to continue on if her feelings were not of the same level as her partner's. Despite the fact that her relationships were well known not to last longer than a month there was still a never ending stream of young girls who were willing to throw themselves into her arms. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she had stopped walking when suddenly she heard a young voice call out. "Excuse me. Is this the way to the Strawberry Dorms?"

My, what an adorable young girl with such a cute ponytail, was her first thought upon looking up from the thoughts she had been lost in to regard the girl before her. "And whom might you be?" she had inquired of the redhead before her dressed in a St. Miator uniform and holding a large Boston bag.

"I'm a new transfer student who will be moving into the dorms today," the adorable girl had replied at the time.

"Then allow me to show you the way," Shizuma said extending a hand to the other girl. She seems frozen in place, the older girl mused as several long moments passed without the other girl moving. Finally, just when she was certain that the red haired girl would not take her hand she reached out and grasped firmly the offered hand in question. What a strong grasp she has. It's so unlike all my other little flowers who take my hand so delicately in theirs. She is so different. Her eyes arose from glancing at their joined hands to lock with the stare of the other girl and it felt like an electric current passed between them. Now what was that?

Shizuma sat bolt upright in bed from where she had been lying remembering past events, her body still tingling with the memory of that day as the cell phone on the night stand, Nagisa's cell phone to be exact, suddenly rang. Before the sound from the first ring had faded away to nothingness the green eyed goddess had the phone open and pressed to her ear. "Nagisa! I'm here!" the nude woman exclaimed sitting in bed with her silver hair bellowing disheveled about her from a night of restless slumber. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you like that. Please talk to me. Tell me what I can do to make this end. Nagisa!" Shizuma's heart beat furiously in her chest; her breath came in short gasps, as she listened intently for any sound from the other end of the call. Long seconds passed with only silence answering her words. Knowing that her time was almost up she said what was in her heart. "Nagisa, I miss you! Please come back to me! I love you!"

On the other end of the line was a ragged sob followed by a very soft and hesitant "Shizuma-oneesama…" The words were followed by a quickly indrawn breath and the line disconnecting.

Shizuma sat there dumbfounded with the words 'Shizuma-oneesama' echoing in her head repeatedly. It was the first time in nearly four years that she had heard the voice of the woman she loved and she didn't know if she should scream with joy or cry in despair at the brevity of it. The sound of a phone ringing in the other room interrupted her thoughts. Flipping shut the phone in her hand, her nude lissome form slipped from the bed and walked into the living room retrieving her pants and pulling the ringing cell phone from its pocket. "Did you get it?" she asked as soon as she flipped the phone open and placed it to her ear. "I see, where is she?" she asked and then listened for a moment to the answer. "Alright, send a car for me." There was a slight pause as she listened once again. "Yes I'm at her last place. Also send someone here to inform them that they can have this room back as I'll be moving to the new one." Without waiting for an answer she closed the phone dropping the call and quickly gathered the rest of her clothes so that she could get dressed.

Several minutes later found the silver haired woman sitting in the back seat of a nondescript white sedan traveling down the freeway. "I need to go by the beach house first," Shizuma informed the driver who merely nodded once to indicate that she had heard. 'Shizuma-oneesama'. Those words continued to resound within her mind, though it was not the words themselves that affected her so deeply but rather the tone in which they had been spoken. She sounded so utterly lost and alone, Shizuma thought silently to herself as her heart ached for the woman she loved. She's as lonely as I am, she suddenly realized, though the realization did nothing to comfort her.

Why? Why won't she stop this? Why for that matter do I continue to chase after her? Not for the first time she had to stop and reflect upon her own actions. With a weary sigh she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the seats headrest. If I had only kept those words to myself we would still be together right now. Inwardly she was still confused as to Nagisa's reaction, having suspected and hoped for something else entirely. I never thought she would run away, though now that I think about it there was that one time. She ran from what she wanted then as well, she mused as her mind traveled back to a summer evening.

"Whatever we want?" the cute little redhead, who was rapidly becoming the center of the older girl's universe, asked while sitting there in the water before her. Shizuma felt her heart leap erratically in her chest, not knowing what reaction her answer would bring, as all she could do was nod to confirm the words spoken. As the younger girls eyes arose and stared into hers she could clearly see there the longing and desire mixed with a healthy degree of uncertainty. Shizuma sat motionless, afraid to move, as any sudden motion might frighten off the girl with her. Mesmerized, her eyes dropped to her hand held at the wrist by the girl she loved. Transfixed by disbelief she watched, almost as if she was watching another's hand and not her own, as it was laid gently against Nagisa's exposed breast. "I love you Shizuma-oneesama!" Nagisa said as her eyes closed at the touch of the older woman's warm hand upon her person. "You're what I need!" the red head admitted with a soft moan filled with pleasure.

Maybe this is a dream, Shizuma's dazed mind thought silently as she watched her hand move as it gently caressed the soft flesh beneath it as her finger tips teased the hardening excitement at the apex of the soft mound. "I couldn't agree more," she heard herself whisper in reply, her own voice sounding smug and triumphant even to her own ears. The sound of her voice seemed to break whatever spell she had been under. Once more in control of herself, the silver haired goddess brought her other hand up to the neglected orb of creamy softness suspended next to her hand where it lavished attentions upon Nagisa's breast. "You're the only one for me my Nagisa," Shizuma said in a husky voice just before she leaned forward and captured the younger girl's lips with her own.

Moving on her knees, she stepped forward till their bodies met. Shizuma slipped her hands away from the soft breasts and around to Nagisa's back, pulling her into her embrace as she deepened the kiss, running her tongue across the others girls lips till they parted and allowed her ingress. Both women moaned appreciatively of their tongues entwined, the moans accumulating into vibrations across their joined lips which excited them even further. Shizuma felt the smaller girls arms slip around her waist and clutch at her tightly even as she ran her nails lightly down Nagisa's back and downwards around the soft, round, swell of her pale cheeks which quivered, eliciting a squeal of reprimand from the ticklish girl.

The silver haired goddess pushed the smaller girl backwards, raising one arm to support her till Nagisa was draped over the arm, her body turned horizontal to the older woman's. "My Nagisa," Shizuma panted as she dragged her lips for the other's and slipped them along the younger girl's cheek till they found the soft tender skin along Nagisa's neck and slowly started to make their way downwards. Leaving a trail of peppered kisses in her wake, the silver haired woman's lips arrived at the younger girl's collarbone and were greeted by a moan of pleasure from the girl in her arms. "Shall I stop here, my Nagisa?" Shizuma teased nipping the soft skin with her teeth causing the body within her arms to shudder with pleasure.

"No," Nagisa exclaimed inhaling sharply as she felt her lover's teeth once more nip her delicate skin only to have the same spot soothed by the moist warmth of Shizuma's soft tongue. Before she knew what she was doing her hands arose and entwined in the luxurious soft silvery mane before her and with gentle yet insistent pressure she urged the older girl's wondering lips lower. As they trailed soft gentle kisses crossed the swell of her breast she could feel the rosy bud at her breasts summit become indurated with the pleasure that was coursing through her body. With maddening slowness, leaving a trail of burning fire across her skin, the lips she thirsted for circled lazily around her breast. "Shizuma…" she breathed in a desperate and needing plea for release from the agonizing desire she felt building within her chest, a warmth that spread, descending to accumulate between her legs. When the release came it was both sharp and sudden, bringing forth a cry of both pleasure and surprise, as the hard erect nub at the tip of her breast was suddenly captured and suckled by Shizuma's hungry lips.

Shizuma felt the small hands within her hair tighten and clench the moment she took the harden rosebud of the breast within her mouth. She couldn't help moan with desire at the younger girl's scream of pleasure brought on by her hungry lips that even now suckled upon the pale softness. As she brought her tongue sliding across the trapped pink flesh she held captive between her lips she could feel Nagisa's body shudder where it rested against her body and supporting arm. Slipping her free hand from the small of Nagisa's back she slid it around the younger girl's hip and then diagonally lower, till her fingers slipped amidst the auburn curls, sliding along the natural contour of the body beneath her touch.

The older woman's lips upon her person ignited a fire deep within her which she could feel building as she was suckled and teased by the flickering play of Shizuma's tongue. A burning need began to build in the pit of her stomach and radiate outwards as she felt herself grow increasingly sopping as the need for release intensified. As the minutes continued on she could feel herself reaching her limit as her body seemed to be set ablaze. Her mind, barely managing to retain a grip upon reality from the waves of pleasure which assaulted it, registered the touch of Shizuma's other hand as it slipped between her own legs. The caress of those long delicate fingers as they effortlessly slipped between the nectar enriched folds of succulent pinkness, and caressed the swollen petal of her womanhood, were enough to send her over the edge and into a pleasure induced coma as her body spasmodically twitched in the throes of ecstasy.

"Oh my," Shizuma said, both pleased and surprised at the results of her first touch, even as she felt the warmth of the other girl's nectar running across her fingers where they remained cupping Nagisa's searing womanhood tenderly. I wonder if I'm her first, she speculated to herself as the girl within her arms clung to her shoulder, though she didn't recall those same hands ever leaving her hair. Shizuma sat up and regarded Nagisa with a loving smile as she took note of the younger girl's afterglow and watched the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the soft shifting of her breasts and the rapid pulse that beat along the redhead's neck. "That was most unexpected," she purred in a sultry voice to the smaller girl who was only now starting to take stock of the world around her once more.

"Oh no," Nagisa said suddenly rising to her knees even as her legs trembled in the aftermath of the pleasure that had consumed her just moments before. "I didn't…" her words trailed off as she realized what had just happened and her face turned a bright shade of red that had nothing to do with her recent exertion. I can't believe that just happened…in front of her, she thought to herself as she lunged to her feet, embarrassed beyond anything she had ever experienced before. "No," she reiterated as her eyes grew large and her hand came to her mouth, her other arm trying in vain to cover her breasts self-consciously, as a look of shock appeared on her face. "I'm so sorry Shizuma-oneesama," she said swaying so unsteadily upon her feet that the older girl in question reached out as if to steady her, fearful she might topple over. "I…I have to go," Nagisa suddenly exclaimed shying away from the older woman's touch. Turning, the redhead ran off, pausing only long enough to retrieve her discarded night gown. She must be so disgusted with me, Nagisa exclaimed silently within her own head.

Still kneeling in the water with one arm outstretched to where her love was a moment before, Shizuma was too stunned to do or say anything for a long moment, as she watched the younger girl disappear through the ring of trees. Finally her hand dropped to rest upon her thigh as she sat back upon her haunches and smiled a bit bemused by the sudden turn of events. "Next time I'll have to get us a room," she said absently to herself and the night air. "One with a lock so she can't run off," she added.

The sound of her cell phone ringing wrenched her thoughts back to the present. Even though she knew it couldn't be Nagisa calling her heart still skipped a beat during that time it took her brain to identify the ring tone as not the one on the petite redhead's phone. Flipping the phone open she glanced at the caller ID before answering it. "You have impeccable timing as always Miyuki!" Shizuma said in way of greeting.

"I'm sorry, did I catch you at a bad time Shizuma," inquired Rokujo Miyuki, longtime friend and former Miator Girl's Academy Student Council President, ignoring the sarcasm in the other girl's voice.

"No, not really," Shizuma replied with a heavy sigh. "Just reminiscing about school and the wading pool they used to setup every summer," she clarified.

"…and about a certain little redhead I'll wager," Miyuki said, the humor in her voice conveyed across the call perfectly.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Shizuma retorted with, turning to look out the car window, only then realizing they were already on the private road that led up to the beach house which was their destination.

"Shizuma," Miyuki began with in a more serious voice, "what if she doesn't want to be found," she asked as she had on a number of other occasions.

"Then I need to hear it from her lips with my own ears," the silver haired woman replied as the white sedan approached the Hanazono beach house.

"How? She hasn't talked to you in four years," the voice on the other end of the call stated in exasperation. "She won't even allow you to get close enough to talk to her!"

"Three years," Shizuma countered with, "…and she talked to me just a little while ago." The silence on the other end of the line stretched on for so long that Shizuma took the phone from her ear and looked at it to make certain that the call hadn't dropped. "Miyuki?" she asked placing the phone back against her ear.

"Really," finally came from the other end of the line. "What did she say?"

"That's not important," Shizuma said, skirting the issue. "What is important is that she spoke to me!"

"Shizuma," Miyuki replied with, knowing her friend all too well, "what did she actually say?"

The silver haired woman sighed once more as the sedan pulled into the parking area and came to a stop. "My name," she finally replied with.

"That's it?" Miyuki asked in disbelief that her friend was getting worked up over so little.

"It's been four years!" Shizuma retorted with.

"Three years," her former classmate interjected, correcting her abruptly.

"Fine, three years, seven months, six days, twelve hours and 54 minutes, but who's counting," she exclaimed as the driver walked around and opened the door for her. "I…I haven't heard her voice in all that time," she added in a softer, disheartened voice as she slid from the vehicle and started to walk towards the house, the sound of distant breakers in the distance.

"Hey, is that the ocean I hear?" Miyuki asked changing the subject for the moment as her heart went out to her dear friend.

"I'm at the beach house right now as I need some fresh clothes," Shizuma explained reaching under her shirt and extracting a chain with a key on it. Using the key she unlocked the front door and walked in while slipping the key back under her shirt. "So why the call," she asked the girl on the other end as she closed the front door behind her.

"C…can't a friend just call another friend out of the blue," Miyuki asked.

"Miyuki, we've known each other for far too long to be doing this. It's giving me a headache," Shizuma said as she rubbed at her forehead with her free hand. "Let's stop dancing around each other and just get to the point of your call," she stated as she walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. The silence stretched on from the other end of the phone for long moments. "Look, if you don't have anything further to say I'm hanging up," the silver haired vixen threatened with a smile as her words brought about the desired response from the other end of the call.

"Wait!" Miyuki exclaimed quickly into the phone. "I'm worried about you," she finally admitted into the phone. "I haven't seen you in months. You don't return my phone calls and when you do it's quick and to the point, then you're gone again. I went by your house and the attendants there said you hadn't been there in over a year! What's going on with you Shizuma?"

"I've just been busy," Shizuma replied in a contrite tone of voice. "I took over the telecommunications division of the company a couple of years back and since then I've just been taxed with one thing after another. I would never have guessed just how busy the telecommunications industry could be!"

"I don't know if I buy that or not," Miyuki replied having serious doubts if the other woman was telling her the truth or hiding something. If she's hiding something from me I won't be able to figure it out till she lets me, she finally reasoned with herself as she recalled that was how it had always been between the two of them.

"What else could it be?" Shizuma asked as she opened the refrigerator and removed a bottle of water from it. Closing the door she turned and opened a cabinet, selecting a crystal glass she set it down on the counter top and opening the bottle filled the glass with water. "I have to show a profit for my division after I talked them into purchasing several of the major companies that provide cell phone coverage," she explained to her friend. "It's really such a bother."

"Are you sure it isn't this thing with Nagisa," Miyuki asked again returning to the original topic. "I can't help but feel that you're becoming obsessed with finding and talking to her again."

"Hardly," Shizuma replied with a chuckle. "I can only do something when she calls me after all," she reminded the other woman having told her the details of the situation three years ago when the calls were happening months apart. She hadn't updated her since and so Miyuki was unaware of the fact that the calls were coming quicker and quicker these days. "It's not like I haven't been keeping myself busy with other things over the last three years."

"Four years," Miyuki corrected her. "That's a long time to chase after someone Shizuma. I know you loved her…"

"I still love her," Shizuma quickly interjected to set the record straight. "She's the only one for me!"

"…alright, you still love her," Miyuki conceded, pausing as she knew her next words would most certainly hurt her dear friend. "What if she doesn't love you anymore and that's why she keeps running away?" Shizuma took a slow sip of her water allowing the silence between them to hang there for several long moments. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that," Miyuki finally said mistaking the other girls silence for pain.

Shizuma smiled to herself realizing that she could still manipulate her friend just as she did back in high school. "No, it was a valid question, Miyuki. I know I can always rely on you to ask the hard questions," she said setting the now empty glass down and walking out of the kitchen. "If that is the case then I need to hear it from her. If she says she doesn't love me then I'll drop the matter and leave her alone."

"Really? That doesn't sound like the Shizuma I use to go to school with who found an infinite number of ways to neglect her Étoile responsibilities and not attend required meetings," Miyuki retorted with, humor evident in her voice.

"That's just because there were so many cute daises wanting to bathe in my light then," Shizuma replied with a soft chuckle. "Even you did not escape that desire did you Miyuki?"

"No, even I wanted to bathe in your light Shizuma," the dark haired woman confessed readily enough as it was the truth. "Though that was then and this is now," she added to clarify before the silver haired goddess on the other end of the call could become too full of herself.

"Yes that reminds me, how is your significant other these days?" Shizuma asked as she walked through the house towards the stairway leading to the second floor.

"She's worried about you as well," Miyuki replied in all honesty.

"Worried about me?" Shizuma scoffed in disbelief. "I would think she would be more worried about Nagisa then me." Past histories die hard sometimes she realized as soon as the words left her mouth. Though it was not her intent to hurt her friend she realized that drudging up that subject would do neither of them any good.

"We're worried about the both of you, Shizuma," she replied ignoring the small pain of jealousy she felt in her chest and knowing that feeling that way was just foolishness on her part. There was no doubt in her heart that the person she loved did indeed love her back just as much, if not more so in fact! We all have people we loved and lost, she thought to herself recalling one in particular.

"I'm sorry, Miyuki. That wasn't called for," Shizuma said in a contrite voice. "I really am happy for the both of you. I'm just tired I guess," she added as she climbed the stairs to the second floor. "Please forgive me," she asked of her friend.

"There's nothing to forgive," Miyuki assured her having learned long ago that such exchanges between friends were normal and nothing to get upset about. "Tamao-chan was the one who mentioned being obsessed," she continued with. "If anyone would know about such things and Nagisa it would be her. I think she just didn't want to see you go down the same road she did," Miyuki said recalling the all too unpleasant memories of that time in the younger girl's life.

"Thank you. I'm most definitely not obsessed," she reassured her longtime friend. "At least not yet," she added in an attempt at levity to lighten the mood.

"Good," was the quick reply from the other end of the phone call. "See that it stays that way or I may just have to track you down and lecture you like I used to!"

"Yes Madam President!" Shizuma replied with a smirk that was clearly heard through the phone by the girl on the other end. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to take a shower. Unless you want to rush over and join me," she offered in a seductive voice into the phone. "It will be like old times Miyuki!"

"Thanks, but I'm already spoken for," Miyuki replied with a grin upon hearing the old Shizuma in her ear. "Shizuma…" she said in a more serious tone of voice.

"…I know where to reach you, Miyuki, if I need to talk," the silver haired woman finished the sentence for the other girl as she reached the top of the stairs and stopped. "Thank you Miyuki." Shizuma knew that no matter what happened or how many years passed between them, she would always love and respect Miyuki as her closest and dearest friend.

"That's what friends are for," Miyuki replied upon hearing the heartfelt words of thanks from the woman she would always love and cherish.

Shizuma closed the phone with a snap after they said their farewells. Before her were two doors, the further of the two lead to her own room, the other to another bedroom. It was however the nearest door that she walked to, the bedroom which had first belonged to Kaori and then later to Nagisa who had used it considerably longer as they spent a great deal of time here. Slipping a key from her pocket she reached down and unlocked the bedroom door before turning the doorknob and pushing the door open. Upon entering the room she quickly turned on the light and then closed and locked the door behind her before turning once more to face the room while leaning her back against the closed door. Before her was an empty room, devoid of all furniture that had once been there. Every inch of all four walls, as well as the ceiling, was covered with picture of Nagisa. "I'm home Nagisa-chan!"

Author's Note:

I hate when you want to write but real life gets in the way. My apologies for the slow updates on this story arc, I've been swamped at work as well as working on a different story for another fandom. I know, no excuse, but there you have it anyways. I still have no clue where this is heading which could also account for the slower updates. I make no promises as to when the next one will be either. I have to wait for the Muse to let me know just like all of you.

As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the Strawberry Panic! light novel series.

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