Shizuo helped walk Izaya back over to his bed, as the little raven wanted to try walking himself. He was doing pretty well, but Shizuo could tell his wounds were really hurting him. His body was so stiff, each step made him look like some kind of robot. His arms were glued to his sides, as if moving them to any extend would make the pain shoot through him again.

And Shizuo couldn't do anything to help. He didn't have any super powers. He couldn't heal Izaya so he couldn't feel pain anymore. He was useless, and that was it.

'I wish I could do more for you...'

They found the cloths on the bed like Shinra promised, and Shizuo was rather baffled at what they found. It was a nightgown; a woman's nightgown. It resembled the ones old ladies in a care-centers would wear. But what the heck were they supposed to do with that?

"Maybe... Shinra grabbed the wrong set of cloths?" He proposed, looking down at Izaya. His body was really swaying now to the point where Shizuo was tempted to place a hand on his shoulder to keep him aloft. However, he decided against it, knowing Izaya still wasn't comfortable with close contact.

"But i-it's-" Suddenly, Izaya's body give out, giving Shizuo only seconds to quickly grasp him before he could fully hit the floor. If he was falling unconscious, a concussion on top of all his other injuries wasn't going to help at all. And besides, he wasn't going to let Izaya fall; ever.

"Izaya?" He called out in pure urgency. He was hoping Izaya was just having a small pain attack, and that was it; but when was anything ever that simple. His heart only raced more, realizing Izaya's breathing was really bad; worse then its been since they first found him. What scared Shizuo the most was the fact that Izaya's body was trembling so bad he didn't even know how he could hold the towel up.

"Shinra!" Shizuo yelled, gently lowering Izaya so he could lay on the floor, but not on his back. He's learned from his bartending job to always keep their bodies still until a medic arrived. But even though he was calm on the surface, he was a complete wreck on the inside.

'Oh god, oh god,' his thoughts were racing, his blood was freezing, his heart was stopping. He didn't know what to do. Izaya's breathing was hoarse, as if he was choking on nails or something. His body was trembling like he was exposed and trapped in Alaska during the winter. Shizuo wasn't a doctor, he had no idea what he could do.
"I'm sorrry, I'm sorryyy," he cried, running the comforting massage through Izaya's wet-raven hair that he loved. That was something, right? He was helping, right? - No, to help, he needed to calm down. He wasn't freaking out, right?

Ha-no. He was freaking out, he was definitely freaking out.

"What hurts?" He tried to ask in his soothing voice. He nearly failed, if it wasn't for how determined he was.

"E-everything, h-urttss," he choked back, pulling the towel closer to his body. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-I really tried," he sobbed, the tears streaming down his face nearly endlessly. "I-I really tried, to keep the pain h-hidden, b-but, I-I just couldn't! D-don't hate me, p-please! I-I'll do better, p-promise!"

Shizuo's eyes were wide, completely frozen in place. His whole world seemed to have gone silent, only focusing on the shaking body in his arms. Izaya was that scared? Scared Shizuo would hate him for letting feeling pain? What? Did his kidnapper beat him whenever he was in this state?

God no, no. He could feel the fear creeping, and anxiety and adrenaline. But in this situation, he had no idea what he could do to help. Nothing, whatsoever. Wait, didn't he already realize he could do nothing? Dammit, his mind was really messed up. Nothing was making sense anymore.

Think. Think Think.

He could try to keep those thoughts out of Izaya's head; he remembered Izaya telling the psychiatrist his head went against him, telling him things that were terrible.

"There's nothing you could ever do that would make me hate you," Shizuo's voice cracked, tears falling down his face in utter defeat. "No-nothing, you hear me?" His body began trembling with Izaya's, which seemed to shock the raven. But Shizuo didn't pay much attention to the raven's reaction to him, his head was too filled with running thoughts they were colliding with one another.

"You could brutally murder me, and I still wouldn't hate you. Not that you would do that, but, that's how I see it," he honestly spoke, now looking at Izaya. The raven's eyes were opened, though forcing themselves to stay opened. Tears were coming out of his eyes, ones that weren't full of pain.

"Shi-Shizu-channn," he cried, forcing his hand to grip Shizuo's. Shizuo quickly gripped Izaya's back, softly. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't meant to-" he stopped himself, his eyes forcing themselves closed. He was letting out more whimpers now, seeming unable to avoid the pain any longer. It wasn't a moment later when Shinra literally slid to Izaya's side, putting a hand to his forehead.

"He isn't running a fever anymore, it's probably pain due to the wounds being properly cleaned out. I'll give him some fast-working pain medicine," Shinra acknowledged, slipping the bottle from his pocket. Shizuo was glad Shinra always came prepared, and only seconds later, came Celty with a cup of water.

"What about his breathing? It's been doing that since we first found him," Shizuo asked in a completely un-composed voice. It seemed to shock the doctor, but he quickly pushed passed it.

"It's obvious by the sound of it that he has a serious case of asthma. The hospital already placed an order under my name for an inhaler. Should be here tomorrow." The blond just nodded, helping Izaya sit up a bit.

"We have some medicine to help, so please, swallow it," Shinra's loving voice spoke as he slipped the pill into Izaya's barely parted lips. "And here comes some water." The doctor tilted the small cup and allowed some water to flow down his throat, taking the pill with it.

It was only a minute later when Izaya slowly began calming down, allowing his body to rest against Shizuo's leg and chest. Shinra was sure to stay with them until the pill began working, which was only five minutes later.

Slowly, Izaya was letting his eyes open again, staring blankly at the carpet and his hand intertwined with Shizuo's. It seemed like Izaya had no idea what he was doing until now, as he stared at it questioningly, but didn't seem to mind.

"How you feeling Izaya?" Shinra asked. Izaya slowly looked over at Shinra, seeming to be lost.

"Does anything still hurt?" Shizuo asked. Izaya then looked up at Shizuo, head hitting his chest and staying there. He looked really out of it, and they were beginning to get worried before he gave a soft smile.

"No... nothing." His voice sounded shocked, as if he thought this was all just a dream. Shizuo couldn't help but press his lips against the raven's forehead, only a few stray tears falling from his eyes.

"That's good, I'm glad."

"Now, you have to eat unless you'll get sick from that pill." Both Izaya and Shizuo looked over at the doctor, confused. Shinra seemed to giggle slightly at the two of them, as they had done it in-sync.

"You can't take that on a empty stomach, unless it'll upset it." Izaya just nodded, as if he knew. Then again, after all the drugs he must've been forced on, he probably knew from experience.

"Are you okay enough to eat?" Shizuo asked, only now noticing that Izaya was only covered to his waist. Ahh, he didn't want him to catch a cold. "We better get you changed, or you might catch a cold."

"Actually, did you know that you can't catch a cold because of the temperature?" Shinra butted in, though it really shocked Shizuo. Okay, that was just weird. Wasn't that how colds were formed?

Actually, he found it was better to just not ask. Shizuo found it a good idea, as Celty handed him the dress. It was then he looked up at Shinra with baffled eyes. "A dress? Really? Why the hell would you give Izaya a dress? He's a boy."

Shinra couldn't help but burst into laughter, nearly falling over. It irritated Shizuo more then anything, wanting to know what was so funny. "Dresses are loose, and with all the wounds on his body, it would hurt them less."

Oh... Shizuo remembered when they first found him, all he wore was a long-sleeve shirt that acted like a mini-dress. It made sense, especially if it caused as less pain as possible.

Shinra stayed and helped Shizuo dress Izaya. Shizuo held him in-place, like always, as Shinra slipped the dress on him. It wasn't hard at all, and Izaya seemed very comfortable, though the sleeves were a bit too long; they nearly ate his hands whole.

"How does it feel?" Shinra asked, though Shizuo had a feeling there was more to this then he thought.

"Feels like a blankie," he smiled back, bringing the sleeves up to his mouth. It seemed to be a habit of his, and man was it adorable.

"Good, I chose well! And the color suits you well too," Shinra winked, making Izaya blush a bit. It was a gown of black, though in some places white such as the collar, the bottom trim, and waist. He really seemed to like it.

"Now lets go eat before your tummy starts throwing fire-balls at us."

Shizuo carried Izaya down the hall so they wouldn't have to extend the limits of the medicine's numbing capabilities. But as soon as they entered the kitchen, the smell of sushi alerted their senses, bringing smiles to their faces. It smelled so good, even though sushi had a faint scent. It even made Izaya gently lick his lips, which Shizuo saw at the corner of his eye. It was so freakin adorable he couldn't help but give him a small kiss on the forehead again.

"Ootoro, just for you!" Shizuo smiled. Izaya looked up at him, giggling softly and leaning against his chest more.

"Do you like ootoro, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked, his smile wavering a bit. Shizuo quickly laughed, knowing Izaya was beginning to feel guilty; again. He'd be sure to quiet the raven's thoughts; at some point.

"Of course, we used to have ootoro eating contests, remember?" Shizuo asked, giving him a small smirk. "There was even a time you beat ME! I still can't bring myself to believe that." Izaya just giggled softly, grasping onto Shizuo's shirt with his small fingers.

"Neee, lets not do that this time."

"Yeah," the blond chuckled, remembering how both of them got ill after it. He didn't want to risk that this time.

Shinra brought up a chair for Izaya, and Shizuo gently set him down in it. Like a gentlemen, he slowly pushed the chair back in, giving the raven's hair a slight pet before taking the seat right next to him. Celty then brought the boxes of ootoro around, serving Izaya first, then Shizuo.

"Thank you," Izaya bowed in his seat before his mouth began watering, eying the sushi. Shizuo could swear there were stars in the raven's eyes, nearly making him laugh.

"Go ahead, eat," Shinra smiled from the opposite end of the table. He was seated next to Celty, who were both watching Izaya. They wanted to see Izaya's first bite-reaction, and so did Shizuo. It made the raven a bit nervous, but he just smiled, picking up the chop-sticks and grabbing the first piece. As soon as Izaya took that first bite, his eyes went wide, and mouth curved. The three adults were at the edge of their seats, as Izaya gently pushed the rest of the sushi in his mouth, chewing with a heavenly look.

"It's... it's... soooo goooodddd," he hummed, happily taking another piece from his small plate and eating it. The three of them nearly melted, his adorable face and reactions being too much for them to handle.

"Still like ootoro?" Izaya turned to Shizuo and nodded, his face full of happiness.

"Is, is this heaven?" He asked with a semi-serious face, making their blood run cold. They understood what he meant, but the thought caught all of them in a twist. What if they had never gotten Izaya back? What if they had gotten there too late? So many things could've happened, and honestly, they didn't know if they would've been able to handle that. But he was happy, and they wished to keep it this way.

"No, but it's close enough," Shizuo smiled, reaching over and wiping some stray pieces of rice off Izaya's cheek. The raven froze, watching Shizuo's hand for a moment before giggling again.

"I-I'm messy, I guess," he hiccuped, taking another piece of sushi and nibbling it. Ootoro seemed to make him so happy, he was nearly drunk! But Shizuo loved him this way. His smile was natural, unwavering. It was way better then seeing him how he was before. He loved it, loved seeing Izaya so full of life; like in the old days.

'I'll bring you back, the old you, promise,' Shizuo swore to himself before working on his own food. He hadn't had ootoro himself since the last time he and Izaya had it together. The sushi, and really all sushi reminded him of the raven, so he just didn't eat it.

"Oh yeah, Celty said Kadota and the manager made it to the checkpoint safely. There were a lot of people following them, but were shocked to see Izaya wasn't in the car. I think we've given them the slip for a while," Shinra informed them, taking a bite of his own ootoro. Izaya looked up from his plate, letting out a huge sigh of relief he must've been holding-in this whole time. "Kadota wanted to visit you, but he's gonna have a wait a little bit; just until the strange people stop spying on him."

"That's good," Izaya warmly muttered to himself, taking another bite of his sushi. "I-I was worried."

"You don't have to worry about us," Shizuo soothed from his seat, reaching over to move some loose strands of hair out of the raven's eyes. The notion made Izaya look up at him, taking another bite of the sushi. "We'll be fine, just concentrate on feeling better, 'kay?" Izaya nodded, chewing on his piece of ootoro in silence.

Dinner ended about five minutes later, and Izaya was starting to have a hard time staying awake. He managed to eat a little more then half of his ootoro, unable to eat another bite. Yet, he continued to shovel the fish in his mouth, his smile and joy disappearing.

"You know, you don't have to eat all of it," Shinra reassured him, noticing his happiness slip. It made Izaya look up at the doctor in shock, his chopsticks lowering to the plate.

"Wha-what?" He asked, seeming completely shocked, just like when they had asked him what he wanted.

"If you're full, don't force yourself to eat more silly." Izaya looked down at the plate, then back up at him, eyes watering a bit. Shizuo watched him closely, getting ready to begin petting him again.

"Y-you won't... get mad?"

"What?" Shinra laughed, appalled. "Mad for you being full? Of course not." The raven looked back at his plate, seeing the fish still there. He didn't seem to know what to do, he was confused. Shizuo stood from his seat, as he finished his, and went over to Izaya's plate.

"We can save it for later, no biggie."

Shinra nodded, "We're just happy you were able to eat something." Izaya watched as Shizuo picked up the plate and over to the sink. He scrapped the fish into a plastic container, sealing it with a lid.

"I'll keep this out for you to put your sushi in it," Shizuo carelessly told Shinra, going back over to Izaya's side. "Ready for bed?" Izaya looked over at Shinra, bowing in his seat.

"Th-thanks, for the meal, a-and the room, a-and for everything." Shinra's face seemed to melt, his face red as Izaya was too freakin adorable.

"It's no problem, right Celty?" Celty nodded giving the little boy a thumps up. Izaya opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. They wanted to ask what it was, but he just leaned on Shizuo's arm, yawning tiredly. They had to remember he was still a healing patient.

"Lets go." Shizuo carried Izaya back to his room and helped him brush his teeth. Izaya was able to do it himself, which he seemed happy for, then Shizuo carried him to his bed.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya called, as the blond was tucking him in.

"Yeah?" He asked back, sitting on the side of the bed, staring into Izaya's down-cast eyes. Izaya was silent for a few minutes, gazing at the door to see if it was closed. He then shifted a little bit, before sighing.

"I-is this... is this a dream?" Shizuo was shocked, hearing Izaya's voice cracking. He was at the edge of tears; a storm. Now he understood why the raven checked the door; he didn't want anyone else seeing him so scared.

"Of course not," Shizuo gently soothed, running his comforting fingers through Izaya's hair. The raven shriveled a bit, bringing his hands to his face as tears fell from his eyes. He didn't seem at all comforted, just more scared.

"I-I feel as if I fall asleep, I'll wake up, back in one of the houses, back with him, standing over me... with that smirk on his face," he sobbed, pressing his hands against his face with all his little strength. Shizuo didn't know what to do, Izaya needed to let this storm out, unless he'd never really get better. "N-none of this seems real, not even possible," his voice began squeaking a bit. "After all these years, this, just happening? Y-you rescuing me, being taken to Shinra's house, being taken care of, a-and being able to chose what I want-" his voice was caught on his sobs. "Why? Why is everyone so nice to me?" The blond stared down at the raven, his tears falling with Izaya's. He didn't know what to say to him, what he could say that would actually make sense. God, he just wanted to erase Izaya's memory of what happened to him.

"I-I'm so dirty, so filthy; insignificant. I-I sat in that cellar once, for half a year, not even able to go out for a bath or use the restroom. M-my food was thrown on the floor, and I ate it, ate it with the mice. They crawled on me, they'd bite me in my sleep, since he never gave me new cloths once I grew out of my old after the first year. It was so cold... the rats would cuddle with me against my bare-skin, but they hardly did anything. I-I got so sick my second year, I didn't think I'd make it-" he didn't even let himself finish that thought. Shizuo's fists were shaking at his sides, but he was careful not to let them draw blood. He had to be able to comfort Izaya, not scare him. "Y-yet, here I am, in this large room, with its own bathroom. There's no mice, I-I have clothing that doesn't hurt. Y-you guys let me eat at the table, l-let me chose what I wanted a-and it was fresh. I-it's warm here, y-yet I feel cold, I feel cold inside- I-I'd rather die then wake up to that again!" That was it. Shizuo couldn't take it anymore. He collapsed on the bed, pulling Izaya into his warm chest. The raven seemed frightened, as he struggled a bit; but the blond held him there, tears rolling down his cheeks like endless waterfalls.

"That... that was hell...," Shizuo sobbed, feeling Izaya slowly calming a bit at his voice. At least, he thought it was because of his voice. He was trembling, nearly uncontrollably. He didn't even know if Izaya was trembling anymore. "You should have never... been forced to endure that. I-I'm sorry, that I couldn't take you away from that-" his voice cracked, burying his face in Izaya's shoulder. He was trying to be strong, strong for Izaya, but after hearing him say he'd rather die, it killed him. It severed his heart and cut it into small pieces.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-I was useless, I was gone. I-I can hardly even believe you're still alive, that you're with me right now. I feel like I've gone insane, and at any moment, you'll disappear in a puff of smoke, and I'd be lost again. Y-yet, I know this is real, that this is not my mind this time. Your warmth is radiating against my chest, your tears run down my skin, your frail-skin's grazing mine, your scent, though faint, i-it's still there. Your hair, it's so real, as soft as always, god I missed it. I missed you and your spirit, your presence. I missed that adorable smile and laughter that always made me smile; that made me enjoy myself for being me." Shizuo pulled Izaya even closer to him, being sure not to touch the slashes on his back. "E-even if this was a dream, I'd force them to switch our places, even if it meant me going into your body, and you, in mine." He couldn't say anything else, as his throat was swelling, tears overwhelming his being. He was completely taken by surprise when he felt tiny hands sweeping through his hair with some difficulty, and listened; that small voice speaking.

"Don't cry Shizu-chan," Izaya whispered, his small hands stroking his hair. It actually seemed to help calm him down a little bit, as he focused on Izaya's body against his, and that was all. "Don't cry... It's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"But I didn't listen to you, I could've stopped it from happening," Shizuo breathed heavily, trying his best to concentrate on the massage Izaya was giving him, the strawberry-lemon scent, and his warmth radiating against him.

"You would've been killed," Izaya quietly muttered, the raven resting his own forehead into Shizuo's shoulder. "My parents were, he wouldn't have hesitated to shoot you either." Shizuo could tell his voice went monotone, as he hated thinking about the harsh reality, where his entire family had been killed, just because his kidnapper wanted him. "It's better that you lived, I would've committed suicide if they had killed you too." Shizuo was shocked at how deep and serious Izaya's voice was now. So this was person the kidnapper turned him into. Someone who spoke wisely, yet emotionlessly. Izaya was right, they did kill the raven's parents, and if it was by gun, he would've been killed back then. His body wasn't fully resistant yet. What mattered now was that he had Izaya, and he wasn't going to let that asshole lay another finger on him.

"I would've kicked his ass, if I was a spirit you know," Shizuo dryly laughed, his trembling stopping.

"I know you would," Izaya sighed back, digging his own head against Shizuo's shoulder. "But you're right... this isn't a dream, because I can feel your warmth, your skin, and your tears. Dreams can't even delude us of that, because they're cold. But Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan's nice and warm..." Izaya trailed off with a yawn, cuddling up against him more. Shizuo smiled, unburing his head and laying his chin on Izaya's head, like he used to always do.

"You're warm too Izaya, like a small kitten... inside and out." Izaya remained silent for a few minutes, and Shizuo feared he had fallen asleep.

"Thanks... Shizu-chan..." And the two of them fell asleep, cuddled and oblivious to the outside world; for once.