Chapter 8 - Surrender
Emerald eyes scanned the reception area of the building one last time as she walked through it, the stiletto heels of her black shoes tapping out a loud rhythm which drowned out the softer steps of the man beside her. She had spent the morning directing the movers who had arrived to pack up her personal belongings which would then be placed in storage. There had been a small gathering of employees who wished her well and said they would certainly miss her. As far as impromptu office parties went, it wasn't bad.
For nearly three years now she had led the telecommunications division of the Hanazono holdings. In that time she had grown it from a small, obscure department to one of the top ten revenue generating divisions within Japan. Shizuma knew that she would miss the daily challenges the position of department head had brought with it.
"Are you certain of this, Shizuma?" the man next to her asked as they stepped through the front doors of the building and out onto the wide sidewalk in front of the tall skyscraper. "It's not too late to reconsider."
"I know, Father," Shizuma replied, squinting at the sudden bright sunlight till she managed to slip on her sunglasses. "I think I'm making the right decision," she told him even though she still held considerable fears and doubts.
"Well, I trust your judgment," the elder Hanazono replied while they each awaited their ride. "It won't be easy to replace you."
"I'm certain you'll manage," Shizuma replied with a soft smile at the compliment. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that her father never had a shortage of qualified and experienced personnel he could recruit from. Hanazono holdings were vast and filled with a multitude of talented people, many far more capable than she believed herself to be. Where once it would have pained her to admit this, her journey into the working world for the past several years had opened her eyes. Not just to her strengths but also to her own very real limitations. Just because her last name was Hanazono did not automatically mean she was an expert at everything.
"There are many skilled people who can easily do my job, Father. Just don't take too long on deciding who it will be. I would hate to see all my hard work over the past three years fall apart while you drag your feet naming a successor for my position," she chided him gently, realizing he really didn't want her to leave. "I have no intentions of returning," she told him to make certain he clearly understood and wasn't harboring delusions of her rushing back after a few days.
"True as that may be," her father replied thoughtfully, "There are none that I can trust as implicitly as I can you," he offered with a slight smile for a brief moment before his features once more became serious. "What of that other matter? Did you finally manage to find her?" Shizuma nearly gasped at his words, realizing then that she should have known that she couldn't fool her father. "For my only child to suddenly take such an intense interest in the telecommunications industry I knew there had to be a reason other than just business experience," he explained with a knowing grin at her reaction.
Shizuma chuckled softly before answering. "Yes and no," she finally replied. "I'm not nearly as smart as I thought I was apparently."
"How so?" her father questioned.
"It took me nearly four years to realize that she doesn't want to be caught," Shizuma confessed in a sad and disappointed tone, her own features serious once more.
"You sound certain of that?" he stated more than asked. "We often err when assuming what the thoughts of others are, especially in matters of the heart…theirs or ours"
"I would agree with you if this were some new affair or even just a few weeks old," she replied with a sigh. "It's been nearly four years, Father. No," she added with a resolute shake of her head, "I've ruined her life for long enough. It is well past the time to let her proceed with her life and I with mine."
"And you're content with this?" he probed.
"No!" Shizuma snapped back in frustration. "How could I ever be satisfied with anything less than being by her side? But it's been four years!" Shizuma added seeing her father arch a brow in question. "I may be slow but even I can take a hint after so long."
"Were your mother still with us," the head of the Hanazono clan said, startling Shizuma. It had been over twelve years since her mother's unexpected death and she could count on one hand the number of times her father had spoken of his wife. It was a painful subject for the both of them and so through mutual silent consent they rarely mentioned the woman of whom Shizuma herself was a spitting image. "Were I separated from her as you are, I would move heaven and hell to get back to her."
"And if that was not enough?" the silver-haired daughter asked insistently. I may not have moved the actual heaven or hell, but I did all I could here among the living, she told herself.
Her father shrugged and sighed as well, having no answer for her at that moment. "What will you do now?" he asked instead, changing the subject as there was nothing to add to the former one.
Shizuma watched as her own white sedan, followed closely by a black limousine, pulled up to the curb before them. "I'm not certain. I think I may travel abroad for a bit," she told him as the drivers got out and stepped to the back of their respective vehicles to open the rear passenger doors. "I've been so focused on everything for the past four years that I have not taken any vacation time. Maybe I'll visit the South China Sea. I hear the weather there is nice this time of year and the water is beautiful."
"We own several hotels down that way through one of our subsidiaries," he informed her of, not liking the weary tone of her voice. Perhaps some rest will do her well, he thought to himself, recalling that he had observed earlier how thin she was starting to become. "If you do go there be sure to make use of them."
"Why? So you can keep tabs on me?" she asked playfully, forcing a smile on her face. "I still have some personal matters to attend to here so it will be a day or two before I go anywhere," she said as she stepped forward and gave him a very uncharacteristic hug as it might be some time before she saw him again.
"I am your father after all," he replied, returning her hug. "I have to leave tonight for Hong Kong. If you do decide to make the trip down there let me know and maybe I can get away for a day or two at some point to join you," he offered.
"Thank you," Shizuma said as she stepped back from him, holding him loosely at arm's length. "For always putting up with me," she added upon seeing his puzzled expression.
Her father smiled gently. "Your mother would be proud of the woman you've become," he told her softly, and then with a slight nod he turned and walked to his waiting limo even as she walked to her sedan and seated herself in the back seat.
"I need to go to the beach house," she informed the driver once the woman had closed the rear door and retaken her seat behind the steering wheel. As the car pulled out into traffic and sped off, she slipped her cell phone from her purse and speed dialed the desired number.
"Shizuma! What's wrong? Did something happened?" Miyuki's nervous voice asked from the other end of the call when it connected.
Shizuma grinned at the anxious sound of her friend's voice as she leaned back into the plush seat of the car. "What? Can't a friend call a friend just to talk?" she asked teasingly.
"No, not when it's you," Miyuki replied matter-of-factly. "This is the first time in nearly four years that you've called me without me having called you first and left you a message requesting a call back."
"Really?" Shizuma asked, surprised by that fact.
"Really," the other woman affirmed. "So why the sudden call," Miyuki asked.
"I know how you worry so I thought I would call and tell you that I'm going to be out of the country for a while," Shizuma said as she saw no reason not to tell the other woman the truth.
There was a long pause from the other end before Miyuki finally replied in a tone of utter disbelief, "Really?"
"Really, really," Shizuma answered. "I knew if I didn't tell you that you'd just worry yourself sick."
"What are you going to do about work," Miyuki asked.
"I resigned my position," the former department head informed her friend.
"How did your father take that?" the woman asked on the other end of the call.
"Rather well actually," Shizuma replied while glancing out the windows absently at the passing cityscape. "He actually was in town and came to see me off when I left the office. We just parted as he's on his way to Hong Kong," she stated conversationally.
"What…what about….," the other woman's word's trailed off, unable to complete her sentence as she did want to hurt her friend.
Shizuma glanced down to her other hand which now held Nagisa's old phone, having just removed it from her purse. Flipping the phone open, her thumb held the power button down till the phone shut off. Only then did she close the phone and drop it back into her purse.
"I took care of it," Shizuma finally said. "Miyuki…I'm tired," she confessed wearily before her longtime friend could ask anything further.
She wanted to tell her closest friend that she had come to the realization that she was not what Nagisa wanted but she knew that if she did that she would just needlessly worry Miyuki. "I doubt there will be cell phone coverage where I'm going. I'm on my way to the beach house right now to pack a few things and see that the place is closed up before I leave. I'm not sure just how long I'll be away. If you're free this afternoon perhaps we can have lunch together?"
"That sounds wonderful," Miyuki replied. "However you must let me cook for you. I have it on good authority that you haven't been eating well." The former President of Miator's Girls' Academy insisted till Shizuma finally relented and agreed, realizing the Tamao must have said something. Given everything that had happened, Shizuma was glad that the two of them weren't keeping secrets from each other. "It has been ages since I was last at the beach house," Miyuki confessed.
"It will be just like old times," Shizuma replied with a smile, wishing that it could be but knowing it would never be the same again. After they set a time and said their farewells Shizuma dropped the call and returned the phone to her purse.
Upon arriving at the beach house she placed a call to inform the care takers that she would be leaving the next day and that they could come and close up the house. In the early afternoon Miyuki arrived as planned and they enjoyed a nice lunch on the side veranda. They talked about their time at Astraea Hill when they were young and before their high school days. The dear friends studiously avoided any topic that had to do with the missing red head or might lead to memories of her.
As the sun was beginning to set they said their farewells but not before Miyuki extracted a promise from Shizuma to stay in touch, even if only by postal mail.
Shizuma sighed softly as she watched the tail lights of the car taking her friend home drive away down the private road. Walking back into the house she locked the doors and turned off the lights before making her way upstairs. Slipping a key out from under her blouse she took it in hand, the silver chain attached to it sparkled in the light from the ceiling fixture above the small landing area. Shizuma unlocked the room next to hers and then with one foot pushed in several empty file boxes she had found in a back room. "I'm home," she started to say but then stopped. What's the point, she asked herself as she flipped on the only light in the room.
Starting with those affixed to the door itself she began removing the pictures of Nagisa, tossing them into an empty box till it was filled, before beginning on the next box. Shizuma paused, a colored 8 x 10 glossing picture in her hand of herself and Nagisa dancing together. A soft wistful smiled played across her full lips as her eyes drank in the sight of her love.
"We were happy then, weren't we?" she asked the image in the photograph. The still shot was taken during the Holiday Ball, one of the few events jointly attended by all three schools, St. Miator's Girls' Academy, St. Spica's Girls' Institute, and St. Le Rim's Girls' School. They had danced the night away that evening. So much so that they both had aching feet at the night's end and wound up sitting facing each other massaging each other's tired tootsies.
With a resigned sigh Shizuma tossed the picture into the box and moved on to the next one. Little by little the walls were bared of all the images that she had collected from almost everyone that had ever come into contact with the slender red head. As the last picture entered the box she slipped on the lid and carried the cardboard receptacle to the landing to stack with the others. Tomorrow she would have one of the cleaners haul them down to be disposed of. Shutting off the light she closed the door without locking it. There was now no need, with there being nothing further to hide.
Shizuma stepped into her own room, switching on the lights as by now it was completely dark. Wearily she stripped off her clothes, leaving them in a pile upon the floor, before walking into the bathroom and turning on the water. The silver haired goddess quickly showered, being certain to clean the dirt and dust from her long tresses. Maybe I should get it cut, she mused to herself, wondering what she would look like with short hair. Too tired to think about it properly she rinsed her hair and drew a bath, submerging herself into its steaming waters with a contented sigh of satisfaction. As she soaked, her mind drifted back to the evening of the ball and what occurred afterwards.
"Shizuma-oneesama, can I sleep with you tonight?" Nagisa's tired voice nearly begged.
Shizuma couldn't help but grin lecherously as she looked to the younger girl walking next to her. "So bold, my little Daisy," she replied playfully.
"Th…that's no…not what I meant," Nagisa stammered even as her cheeks blossomed a bright healthy pink sheen to them. "My feet and legs are killing me and I'm not sure I can make it all the way back to my room," she quickly explained.
"That has to be one of the better excuses I've heard," Shizuma replied knowingly, "especially as my own extremities feel much the same as yours." Seeing the hopeful look in the young red head's eyes she didn't have the heart to do less than grant her request.
The impulse to deny Nagisa nothing was fast becoming a problem. When faced with the smaller girl's puppy dog eyes, her own resolve always seemed to melt away. Perhaps the problem is with me?
"I guess it would be alright," Shizuma finally replied in an exaggerated tone as if it was some great concession on her part. Shizuma knew her partner was not fooled by her antics, and Nagisa's answer squeal of joy truly did make it all worthwhile. To have something so minor make her so happy…I truly am fortunate to have her in my life! "There is a price to be paid however," she informed the nearly rejuvenated fourth year student beside her. "Few things in life are free after all," she stated.
The remainder of the way to her room Nagisa tried to obtain what exactly the payment would be, but to no avail. "Shizuma-oneesama, that's not fair," she said, finally resorting to pouting even as they drew to a stop in front of the door to the older girl's room.
Shizuma turned about, her back towards the door to her own room, to face the red head. "Last chance. You either accept the conditions as they are or you walk your tired little toes on down the hall and eventually to your own room."
Nagisa thought for a long moment hoping the woman she loved would relent and tell her the price.
"Fine, have it your way," Shizuma finally stated with a dramatic sigh before turning back towards the door as if dismissing the younger girl.
"Fine!" Nagisa yelped quickly, scared she really would be turned away. "You win," she added with her lower lips protruding ever so cutely.
The silver hair before Nagisa shifted as Shizuma looked back over her shoulder. "You'll pay whatever price I demand?" she asked, receiving a nod of assurance from Nagisa, before turning back and opening the door with a knowing smile. As if I would ever send you away after asking to spend the night with me my little Daisy, she mused silently to herself while entering the room.
Once they were in the room and the door was closed behind them, she made certain it was locked. It wouldn't do to have someone walk in on us after all. "Please unzip me," she instructed reaching behind her head and pulling her hair out of the way. After only a slight pause she felt the tightness of her gown loosen as the smaller girl complied. With practiced ease she slipped from the dress, stepping out of its folds. Once free she reach down and picked it up and turned handing it to Nagisa. "Please hang this up and then do the same with yours," she instructed before turning and heading into the bathroom.
Nagisa, uncertain what to make of the situation as yet, carried the dress over to the closet and pulled out the hanger for it and carefully hung the beautiful gown up. Reaching under her left arm she unzipped her own dress and repeated the process Shizuma had done in removing her dress just moments before.
Reaching into the closet she extracted the hanger for her dress, never questioning how it got there from her own room where she had left it earlier that day. After hanging the dress and closing the closet door she turned around just as Shizuma returned with a steaming container in her hands and several towels draped over one arm.
Shizuma allowed her eyes to traverse the smaller girl's frame briefly, covered now by a thin slip and the undergarments beneath it. "Strip," she said as she set the small steaming container on the nightstand next to the bed and began arrange the towels to cover the bed they would be sharing later.
Huh?" Nagisa asked, certain she hadn't heard correctly.
"I said strip," the older girl repeated even as she herself pulled her slip off and dropped it to the floor next to her. "I would hate for you to get your lacy undergarments stained," she continued in way of explanation even as she grasped the front of her bra and unhooked the strapless number, allowing it to fall to the floor as well. "They'll just in the way after all."
Nagisa turned away, blushing to the roots of her hair after staring for longer than she thought proper at her senior's wonderful pale endowments. "Al….alright," she stammered as she nervously pulled her slip over her head, dropping it to the floor as well. A quick glance towards the bed and she saw her lover without a stitch of clothing on, positioning herself to lie upon her stomach.
Far slower and a great deal more self-conscious than the woman upon the bed, Nagisa removed her remaining articles of clothing. Upon turning she saw Shizuma's emerald orbs staring at her hungrily. It was that look which always set her pulse to racing with a mixture of both excitement and fear. "What now?" she asked as she attempted to cover her personal areas as best as she could without actually appearing to be doing so.
Shizuma chuckled watching the slender girl who by all rights should not be so thin with all the desserts she consumed. "You know this isn't the first time we've seen each other naked?" If it were possible, Nagisa's blush deepened which only served to amuse the prone woman all the more. Taking pity on the nervous little red head she finally relented. "In there," she stated, nodding her head towards the steaming contained she had carried in, "you'll find a bottle of massage oil. It should be nice and warm by now."
"What do you want me to do with it?" Nagisa asked even though the answer should have been apparent. Between her racing pulse, the blushing embarrassment of standing nude before another in a well lit room, and her general exhaustion from a night spent dancing it really wasn't her fault that she couldn't think straight. Add to that the biggest distraction of all, the love of her life lying nude upon the bed a scant few feet away openly ogling her and it was a wonder she hadn't fainted as yet.
"I want you to apply it to me of course," Shizuma patiently explained. She had learned that her presence sometime had this effect on the younger girl, keeping her from think coherently even about the simplest of matters. When this happened there was nothing to be done about it but to treat her gently till such time as Nagisa's nervousness went away.
The petite red head stepped to the side of the bed and retrieved the bottle of oil from what she discovered was a container of hot water. Flipping open the top of the bottle she poured a generous amount into one cupped palm, the pleasant scent of vanilla beans arose enticingly. "It smells nice," she offered nervously as she rubbed her hands together and then lowered them and began massaging the oil into Shizuma's closest calf muscle. Nagisa slowly calmed down and smiled softly as she could feel the woman she loved relaxed under her gentle, yet persistent, ministrations.
"Oh that feels wonderful," Shizuma purred softly as Nagisa's strong slender fingers glided smoothly from near her ankle, upwards to the back of her thigh and back down again. The purring woman recalled absently that even at their first meeting she had noticed just how strong her lover's hands were when Nagisa had grasped her proffered hand in greeting. Her touch was nothing like my other daisies, she thought once again, echoing her thoughts of that day. Shizuma moaned none too softly as Nagisa's fingers slipper across a particularly sore spot. "Have I told you recently how much I love you?"
Nagisa chuckled softly as she climbed upon the bed and straddled her lover's other foot and began to massage a fresh supply of oil into that leg next. "And what is that you love most about me I wonder?"
"Right this instant? Your hands…definitely your hands," the silver maned goddess purred with undisguised pleasure.
"I suspected as much," Nagisa said with a soft laugh as she scooted forward slightly and ran a hand up the back side of both legs at once, allowing her strong finger to kneed tired muscles as they went. "Is there nothing else you like about me?" she teased as her oil moistened fingers slipped over the shapely curves of Shizuma backside, eliciting another moan of pure bliss.
"At the moment, not as much as your hands, Though," Shizuma paused for a second and lifted the lower half of the leg that Nagisa was currently straddling till the heel of her foot encountered the smooth softness of the red head's own backside. "That's pretty good as well," she admitted with a chuckle upon hearing the slight squeak of surprise that escaped from the girl massaging her.
Nagisa remained quiet for a long moment while she worked on Shizuma's hips as well as regained her composure. The tap upon her posterior had both surprised and delighted her to think that the woman she loved liked her own body. "Where else should I massage you with oil?"
"Everywhere," was the sleepy response from the head resting upon the pillow.
"Everywhere?" Nagisa asked incredulously, to which she only received a slight nod of confirmation. The petite red head swallowed heavily once. "Everywhere, everywhere?"
"Every nook and cranny," Shizuma replied in a slightly more wakeful tone of voice as she cracked open one large emerald eye and looked back at the smaller girl who was sitting astride the back of her knee by then.
Nagisa heart started to race at the prospect of exploring every inch of the woman she loved more than any other person in her life. "That's what you want in way of payment?"
"No, that's only half of it," Shizuma replied pulling her arms up so that she could mover her hair out of the way as well as leverage herself up onto her elbows to better see Nagisa while tucking her hair beneath her.
"What's the other half," Nagisa asked innocently, fearing she already knew the answer.
Shizuma lips turned upwards in a large smile. "Then I get to give you a massage!"
"EH!" exclaimed Nagisa loudly, having guessed correctly but none the less startled by the woman's words.
Shizuma awoke with a start, splashing water about as she flailed for a moment before grasping the side of the tub. The water was decidedly cooler than when she had climbed into the bath. With considerable effort she pulled herself out of the water and dried herself off before stumbling to her bed and climbing under the covers without bothering to dress. It wasn't long before sleep claimed her and once more her dreams were filled with images of a slender red head to whom she had long ago surrendered her heart.
Author's Note:
Well here is another update. That's two in one week! I believe we're nearing the end of the story with the next chapter being the final one. If it should turn out to be overly long I may break it into two chapters, however as it stands I think one will suffice. I want to thank everyone who has hung in there over the last year or so while this short story played out. Not being high on the priority list it certainly didn't get the regular updates it should have and yet you stayed with it. For that you have my thanks!
Back in November of 2011 when I started this I selected the title of "Thirst & Hunger" on a whim due to the first two chapters. Now as the story draws to a close the title, in my opinion no longer fits the story. Just prior to posting the final chapter I'll be renaming the story to "Fates", which just so happens to also be the title of the final chapter. So please do not be overly confused when you receive the email notification for a story who's name you're not familiar with.
As always, though certainly not required, I do appreciate any and all reviews, comments and Private Messages. Please let me know what you like and what you disliked.
Kind Regards,
EJ Daniels
All characters within this story, unless otherwise stated are the sole property of Sakurako Kimino the original writer of the Strawberry Panic! light novel series