Two-shot: Two Elves or a Santa (part 1)
Rating: T (nothing graphic…just talking with inappropriate content…the story with the kids is the most inappropriate one thus far…figures…)
Disclaimer: If only I could have Bade as a Christmas gift, then I would own Bade.
Summary: Jade needs money so Beck finds them a job: dressing up as Santa's helpers to accompany his neighbor, Santa, to a Christmas party.
Word count: 1144
Continuity: Few days after Christmas Tree
AN: This is a two-shot because it got long and I'm already late (compared to when I was planning to get this posted) so I wanted to post it but didn't have time to finish it.
AN2: Most of you weren't too bothered by the dialogue so I'm probably going to slightly overuse dialogue again…that's what happens when I write these as quickly as I can. Hopefully it's not too hard to follow.
"Do you remember the conversation we had like two weeks ago?" Beck cautiously asked.
His hesitation in approaching the question made Jade a bit suspicious. Raising her eyebrow, she just looked at her boyfriend.
"The one about you needing money?" If possible, the caution seemed even stronger and even more obvious.
"You have money now?" Jade was often in need of money. Her parents were fairly rich, and were willing to pay for her, as long as it was an activity that they considered "productive." But since Jade was not what her parents were hoping for in regards to "proper," she was constantly trying to get enough money for the activities her parents did not approve of.
"No. And I'd have to use it to fix the RV if I did."
"Right."
"You know you should really…"
"Don't say it." Jade interrupted before Beck could tell her to get a job again.
"I'm just trying to…"
"You don't have a job either." Jade cut Beck off again.
"That's true, but I…" Beck paused, turning to look at Jade.
"You what?"
"Why didn't you cut me off this time?"
"Because I wanted to hear what you had to say." Jade smiled sweetly.
"You knew I didn't know what to say." Beck accused. Of course Jade knew. So she just continued her innocent smile.
Beck continued, "Anyways, I may have a way for us to get money." Perhaps it was because of fear for Jade's reaction to his idea, his voice lowered.
Misunderstanding, whether intentionally or unintentionally was debatable, Jade lowered her voice too, "Does it involve sex?"
"What? No!"
"Nudity?"
"Jade." Beck warned.
"It sounds boring then."
"Jade!" The warning was now better described as a shout.
"Fine. What's your brilliant plan?"
"Well, my neighbor is looking for two elves…"
"Are you fucking me right now? Two elves?" Jade was more irritated than usual.
"Well, I guess if you want me to be fucking you right now, I could fulfill that wish."
"Beck, seriously?"
"Okay fine," he held his hands up, surrendering. "During the holidays, my neighbor always dresses up as Santa Claus for parties. And he has two elves as helpers. He has a party tomorrow, but both of his elves are sick. So he's looking for two new ones."
Jade nods but doesn't say anything.
"So what do you think?" Beck continued.
"I'll do it."
"Seriously?" Beck wasn't expecting Jade to agree to dressing up as an elf and escorting Santa Claus around.
"Yeah."
"You have to dress up as an elf."
"I know."
"Do you know what elves wear? Let me google it."
"I know what elves wear." Jade was losing her patience.
"The party is like all kids."
"I know."
"You have to be super nice to them and watch your language and not throw rocks at…" Beck started to go on a rant.
"Fuck, Beck, I know."
"And you still want to do it?" Beck was surprised that Jade would agree.
"Yes." But Jade really needed the money. And soon.
"You know, I could always go ask Cat to help. Cat would…"
"NO!" Jade was very annoyed now.
"Okay then. I guess we're going to be elves then?"
"Yeah."
(Next Day)
Jade stayed at home with her brother that night. He didn't like sleeping in the house alone.
During the morning, Beck's neighbor came, thanked Beck profusely and gave him two elf costumes. Beck had put on his costume and was examining himself in the mirror.
While he was looking, the door to his RV was kicked open.
"You could have knocked." Beck said, turning towards his girlfriend.
"Then I'd have to wait."
"What if I was naked?"
"Well those stupid bimbos outside your RV would be excited."
"Are they there again?"
"And take pictures."
"Can you get rid of them babe?" Beck could never get them to leave, but Jade was pretty good at scaring them off.
"And post them on the internet."
"But I don't want naked pictures of me on the internet."
Jade's brow furrowed, "You should have said something about that earlier."
"Jade…Jade? Did you really?"
"Well…"
"Jade!"
"I'm kidding."
Beck eyed her suspiciously before walking towards his pearpad and opening Google.
"You know, if I really did put naked pictures of you, you wouldn't be able to find them that easily." That Jade knew her way around the computer was a fact.
"That's not helping."
"Babe, chill, if there were, some Northridge girl would have found it already and have told you."
That was probably true, but Beck was still concerned, "What if they don't tell me because they don't want me to get it taken off."
"First of all, once it's on the internet, you can never completely take it off. Second, they aren't smart."
"True."
"And I wouldn't do that."
"Fine. My neighbor dropped off our costumes."
Jade went to examine and change into the elf dress.
Say what you want, but Beck had trouble keeping his eyes off Jade as she changed into it.
The dress ended up being extremely tight and too short. Apparently the girl that was usually the girl elf was tiny.
Examining the dress on her, Jade concluded, "I look like I'm going to go work at a Christmas-themed party at a strip club."
"I don't think I want you wearing that in public." Beck seemed bothered.
"Well I can't do anything about that."
"We could get another one."
"That would cost money. I don't have money. I need money."
"You still haven't told me why you need money so badly."
"And I'm not going to."
Beck sighed, knowing that Jade wouldn't tell him until he was ready. But he was still curious, "Should I be worried?"
"You should always be worried."
Jade leaned over to kiss him. The kiss got passionate very quickly and they looked like two elves ready to swallow each other.
Temporarily breaking the kiss, Beck commented, "You should really take off that really tight elf dress."
"Maybe you should" was the retort.
But before Beck could undo the zipper, his phone rang.
"Ignore it." Jade commanded.
"What if it's my neighbor?"
"Fine." Jade got off of Beck and he reached for his phone.
Jade undid her own zipper and stepped out of the dress as Beck talked on the phone. He wasn't doing much of the talking.
After saying goodbye and hanging up, Beck turned towards Jade, pretending he wasn't eyeing Jade undressing throughout the whole conversation.
"Ummm Jade?" he began, sounding nervous again.
"Hmmm?"
"My neighbor said he's sick too, the elves were probably contagious or something. So he's going to find another Santa for the job."
"What?" Jade looked livid.
It didn't seem like a big deal, not being able to wear an inappropriate elf dress to prance around children and their dads and uncles, but she really needed the money.
AN: I gave up on pretending to be super appropriate in this.
AN2: Please suggest ideas that Jade could earn the money. I already know what she's going to end up doing, but I need ideas for Jade to talk about…anything no matter how crazy works. Thank you in advance.