Summary: Preppy Sakura and rocker Syaoran had been together since the seventh grade. But now, in senior year, Sakura has finally had enough, and ends their almost six year relationship. But Syaoran? No, he just won't give up that easily.

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or anything like it. I just own this plot line. I also do not own the lyrics which are written in italics. They belong to Christina Aguilera and Maroon 5.

© October 7, 2006

Harder To Breathe
Chapter 4: Callous
Written By: SweetBabyGurl

There was no music being blasted through the halls. There was no laughing. No whispers of rumours. No nothing. Only silence.

He walked through the halls of the high school like he always had; only this time he looked different. Gone was the skull and crossbones earring that graced his ear to be replaced by a small diamond one. Gone was the unique uniform he made from the usual bland one, only to be replaced by a decently fitting one that had not been altered. Tried as he might, his hair decided not to be neat, so the messy chocolate locks stayed. Gone were the spiked bracelets and all of his customary jewellery of the sort save for the ring he wore on his finger since it was fit him.

He made his way to his locker where he casually turned the lock and grabbed the things he needed for that day, stuffing it into the bag Tomoyo insisted he take with him to all his classes. He had to resist the urge to shudder. He hadn't worn one of those God forsaken things since the eighth grade and with good reason.

That's when he saw her standing not too far away from him, a surprised look etched on her face, eyes containing confusion. He took in that look, noticing every detail behind it. Damn what everyone else thought. Only she mattered. Inhaling a deep breath he took a few steps towards her before stopping so they were only centimetres apart.

"What's all this about Syaoran?" She asked him, voice weary as though if she were to say anything wrong he would blow up at her. Mentally, he snorted, knowing she had good reason for it too.

"This is about you. This is about you realizing that I'll change for you," Syaoran responded easily, shifting the bag on his shoulder. God he hated those things.

"You once told me Li Syaoran would change for no one," Sakura responded, her cool collected personality in tact once more and a thin eyebrow raised. At this he snorted aloud.

"I also once told you that clouds were made of marshmallows," he replied with a roll of his eyes, causing her to smile at the memory and him smirk. "Things change, Sakura."

"I guess so," she replied, gazing into his eyes with an emotion he couldn't read. But, the trance of silence was broken as soon as the bell rang; signalling over half of the school was late for class. Making their way to their destinations with haste, he never took his eyes off of her as she walked away.

"So how did she react?" A blueberry haired boy asked, azure eyes glinting beneath thinly framed spectacles.

"She looked shocked and confused, but I guess she knows that all this crap is for her," he shrugged, chugging his orange juice. "I just don't see how changing my appearance is going to do anything, Eriol. Sakura's never been one to care for appearances."

"But at least it's going to show a willingness to change. How many times did she try to get you to dress properly?" Eriol asked his friend, stealing a couple of his fries. They had decided not to go out for that lunch so Sakura would get used to him being around a little bit more. When they were dating they didn't spend much time together during lunch. She would usually have cheerleading practice or a prom committee or something of the sort. All those things bored the living crap out of him so he usually decided to go out to eat with his friends.

"I guess so," Syaoran replied, standing up.

"Where are you going?" Eriol asked, looking up at the boy his age.

"To find Sakura and remind her of a little something," he replied with a smirk before walking off. Sighing, Eriol put their things in the garbage before following a ways away.

"This isn't going to be good," he muttered to himself, sending a text message to his girlfriend to meet him at the front of the school as soon as possible.

She sat with her back straight, long auburn highlighted hair swept back into a braid that descended down her back. To her right was the CD player and before her stood her sheets of music. Eriol didn't know she was practicing today or he would have been there to play the piano for her. They were to do a duet for the school's art's night. Usually it was Tomoyo who would sing but she decided not to do something with Eriol this year. Instead she would do a duet with Sakura and a solo. Not quite remembering what track number it was she listened to the first bit of every song before finding the right track. Quickly taking a sip of her water bottle and clearing her throat, she got ready to sing.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

She wrote this song last year. It was when she finally decided to stop hating her mother. As a child she never felt a mother's love and resented her for that.

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

She had come to realize that it didn't matter how much she hated her. No matter how much she yelled up at the sky, no matter how much she cried, she wouldn't come back and give her the motherly affection she craved.

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Nothing she did would bring back the mother that her brother and father spoke so fondly about. She would never have the opportunity to say how much of a wonderful woman her mother was.

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh

Sakura dreamed of her though. She dreamed of her so much and each time, her mother reached out to her. But each time she pushed her mother and her adoring gaze away. She had decided long ago she wanted to be a part of none of it. But then something inside of her cracked.

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Fate was cruel to rip her mother away from her when she was only a toddler, but they were being kind by allowing her to communicate with her through her dreams.

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

But soon, her mother stopped appearing in her dreams. The visits became less frequent until she stopped coming all together. It was then how much she truly realized she needed her.

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

Soon her mother's favourite holiday would be coming, Christmas. She wanted to pay tribute to her by telling her how sorry she was for hurting her. She wanted to know that she really did love her and cared about her, no matter how she might have acted in the past. She wanted to make things right.

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Taking a deep breath and willing the tears back, she downed her bottle of water, doing her best to calm her fraying nerves.

"I remember when you wrote that song, Sakura. It seems so long ago," she heard his voice whisper.

"It does, doesn't it?" She replied, not feeling up for another one of their fights.

He was behind her in an instant, warm arms wrapped around her waist, face buried into the crook of her neck. She held his hands with her own, relishing in the moment of knowing he still loved her as much as she loved him. There were just some things she couldn't push away no matter how much she tried.

"I miss you Sakura," he whispered.

"I miss you too Syaoran," she replied quietly.

"Then won't you give me another chance? You see that I'm willing to change for you, don't you?" He whispered, kissing her neck softly. She felt her body shudder in pleasure involuntarily.

"I…" she began but couldn't find the right words to phrase what she wanted to say.

"Does it kill, does it burn, is it painful to learn, that it's me that has all the control, does it thrill, does it sting, when you feel what I bring and you wish that you had me to hold," he whispered once more in her ears. She looked up startled to hear the lyrics coming from him in such a possessive manner.

"You may look different Syaoran," she began, pulling herself away from him and taking the CD out of the small stereo as she gathered her lyrics. "But you haven't changed at all. You're still so callous," she whispered looking at him with sadness before walking away.

TBC

Readers: Hey there everyone. Thank you for all of the support from the last chapter. I have a long weekend this week, so I'll try and get some chapters typed up in between my school work so I can update periodically. The first set of lyrics is by Christina Aguilera and is called Hurt. It's an amazingly moving song and I recommend everyone to go out and buy her CD or download the song. The last bit of what Syaoran said was also a lyric and comes from the group Maroon 5 and is called Harder to Breathe. It's the song that inspired me to write this fiction so it'll be used a lot in this fiction. It's a really good song so I recommend that one to you as well. Thank you so much for all your support everyone and I'll try and update as soon as I can. Don't forget to drop a review and let me know what you though of this chapter. Thanks a lot and ja ne!

— SweetBabyGurl

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