Chapter Seven

Authors Note: For those of you who were wondering... this is not an ecchi or story. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra will be together in future chapters, but not when Ulquiorra is the age he is currently. I hope I didn't disappoint you, that's just not where this story is headed. Thank you :) On another note, where did all my reviewers go? Have you abandoned me because I am a hopeless writer who never updates? :(

Chapter Seven

When I was six I lost my best friend. I don't remember a face or a name, just that he was there. He disappeared one day and I never fucken saw 'im again. I asked my mom every day about him, my classmates and teacher and no one seemed to remember he even existed. It was like I just imagined him. After a while I convinced myself that I did. I only bring this up because I just realized how little friends I have now that 'm not talkin' to Shuuhei. I've only ever had a few good ones. But maybe it doesn't matter if they're good friends or not? So long as they're there...

"Trash."

"Hmm, whaddya want brat?" I snapped my head around to look at little Ulquiorra.

"Neliel is eating glitter."

"What-again! Shit!" I jumped to my feet and ran to the little teal-haired girl at the craft area. Like Ulquiorra had said, she was busy eating the glitter. The stuff was all over her face and dribbling out of her mouth along with globs of slobber. The entire table was a gooey, glittery mess. I sighed loudly and bent on my knees to look Neliel in the eyes. "Nel, what did I tell you about eating glitter?"

She opened her mouth (as glitter poured down) and grinned. I noticed her teeth were fucken sparkly! Damn. "Uhh..." she said, "Grimmy says not to eat da glitter!"

"And what are you doing?"

Suddenly she started to look guilty. Her head drooped. "Eatin da glitter..."

I took her hand and said, "c'mon let's go get you cleaned up. Ulquiorra, can you clean up the glitter for me?" Surprisingly, he nodded. I smiled and walked Nel to the bathroom to wash the glitter off of her. I set her on the stool and used a washcloth to clean her face, then instructed her to wash her mouth out. I decided to see how Ulquiorra was doing with the mess and looked over to see he and a few other children were busy cleaning it. Well shit... I take back what I said at the beginning. Those kids are starting to grow on me.

"Grimmy!" Neliel held her arms up as she looked at me with those big green eyes. "All clean?" she asked and smiled. I nodded and she got down from the stool in front of the sink. "Thank you grimmy-chan!" she said and ran off to go play some more.

I sighed and walked back to my seat on the couch. The kids were playing inside again today because it was raining again. Water was drizzling down the huge windows that took over most of the room. Boring. So I turned my attention back to the kids. Everyone was coloring at the moment. Though the room was littered with toys from them playing earlier.

Most of them were on the ground on their stomachs, only a few sat in the chairs at the small tables in the middle of the room. Ulquiorra and Orihime sat together at the yellow table, her finger painting and he, using bright colored crayons. Neliel bounced down in the seat next to them and resumed pouring glitter over the glue covered paper she had in front of her. What is with that girl and glitter?

"Grimmy-chan!"

"What is it Rukia?"

"Look I drew you!"

"Huh?" I took the paper she held up in front of me and looked at it closer. Oh god. I tried to hold back my laughter, for the kids sake. "This... is great!" I faked enthusiasm.

Well she did draw ME... But could also easily be mistaken for a hedgehog. The only thing that remotely looked like me was the shock of blue hair on a furry body with huge ears and a tail. Rukia was grinning from ear to ear I couldn't laugh at her drawing.

I heard a chime, and saw Rukia's brother come in. Shit, I checked my watch, and realized the day was over already. I could've sworn it was still noon. Still, I can't say I'm not excited to leave.

Normally on a Tuesday night I would be hanging out with Shuuhei. Well any day I would considering we pretty much lived at each other's houses. Fuck! Why do I always gotta bring this up? I need to stop thinking of that fag. I have more friends damnit! I can think of plenty of people who would just fucking love to be my best friend. I'm a badass.

I scrolled through my contacts quickly and sent Nnoittra a message. I know what yer thinking. But fuck it, I'm not friends with Shuu anymore so I don't give a damn. I was bored out of my fucking mind and I'm tired of sitting at home listening to good ol' mom and dad like a fucking pussy. I am eighteen and I need to live my life without any fucks given.

...

"I gotta say Grimmjow, I didn't think you'd ever talk to me again!" Nnoitra said, grinning at me.

I narrowed my eyes and looked at him briefly before looking out the window. He just picked me up from my house. I was lucky that my parents weren't home. Why? Because fuck, I'm grounded.

"Ya know, after ya beat my ass that time," he chortled.

"You deserved it," I said and shrugged.

Nnoitra laughed obnoxiously. "That's why I love ya Grimm. You don't give a shit about anybody!"

Usually what Nnoitra says doesn't bother me. But that got me thinking. I didn't like hearing that said about me because it's true.

We drove to the local mall and waited in the front entrance for some girls Nnoitra invited along. I wasn't really in the mood to entertain women, then again I had nothing better to do.

"Oh there they are!" Nnoitra waved to a couple of girls walking our way. I chuckled, should have expected this from Nnoitra. The girls were moderately okay looking. Had nice bodies you just had to ignore their faces.

"Hi boys," one of them drawled. She had long, bright fucken pink hair and her face was done up wayyyy to much. Do girls really need all that makeup? Maybe it's just me, but the lipstick is a bit too much. She was one of those girls that parade around Japan with the big hair, flashy nails and frilly clothing.

The other girl giggled and covered her mouth as she did so. Ugh. I hate when girls do that. I grinned anyways, while Nnoitra introduced me. "This is Aoi," he said, motioning towards the girl that giggled. She looked slighter more normal, with brown hair and doe brown eyes that had to altered with makeup somehow. She giggled again and greeted me, ugh.

"Well should we go?" Nnoitra suggested with a leer, he held out his arm for the girl with the pink hair who took it in turn before shooting her friend a wink. I followed into the mall and the doe eyed girl matched my pace quickly.

"So do you live around here?" she asked, trying to start conversation. 99.9% of the time I wasn't interested in hearing women talk. I decided to fucken' amuse her, this time.

"Sure," I answered back.

"Oh." She said stiffly, then, "I never actually got your name..."

"Grimmjow."

"Wow! That's a surprising name~" she gushed."

"Is it?" I shrugged, looked at her absentmindedly. I noticed Nnoitra had already begun groping the girl's ass, gross. Don't ask me how his fucken wank ass gets any women. With a face like that, only a mother could love. Which in his case isn't entirely true. Nnoitra's mom left him when he was just a lil' shit. No surprise there. "I'm about to get some food, you-"

"Sure!"

"Oh," I paused, looking at her excited face. "I was going to ask if you were going to join Nnoitra while I eat." I gave her a blank stare, she blinked back.

She turned beet red. "I was under the impression this was a double date sort of thing..." she mumbled.

I scrunched up my face. "To be honest, you're really not my type." I looked down at her flat chest, and she got the hint. She ran away, probably going to cry in the bathroom and I sighed. Her friend went after her, yelling her name in confusion.

Nnoitra turned to me. "Dude what the fuck? I was just about to hit it off!" he whined.

"S'your fucken' fault ya dick. What the hell were you thinking pairing me with some flat-chested girl anyways..." I muttered. I turned to leave, "Whatever, I'm going for some food."

"You know, you're a real asshole Grimmjow. I invite you along and you do me like this? I shouldn't have answered your fucking text. You're just like your faggot friend Shuuhei aren't you? Should have known, would've beat your pansy ass back then too."

I stopped and turned around, frozen at what I heard. Nnoitra smirked at me. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I demanded, eyes narrowed.

Nnoitra grinned, "Your faggot friend, Shuuhei. Didn't he tell you I did his ass good all those years ago? Fucking queer liked it too.. kept screaming and moaning like a bitch." He was laughing as he said this, his eyes leering at me.

I felt something inside of me snap. I felt so angry at that moment that I didn't know how to control my rage and I wanted to pulverize the shit out of Nnoitra. I wanted to break his damn neck, because from what I got out of this conversation, he raped my best friend when we were fifteen, and I never knew about it. And that made me angrier.

So I pulled back my arm, and swung.

...

I wiped the sweat off my brow, and the blood off my face as I walked down the street. Fuckin' gash in my cheek kept bleeding I didn't bother to get it cleaned when the paramedics came. I ran for it as fast as I could before the cops could question me. I ended up beating Nnoitra so hard the security couldn't get me off of him. Of course he got me good a few times too, the fuckin sneaky bastard. But I did worse on him. He deserved it. I know Shuuhei wouldn't appreciate what I did, he'd think it was wrong. He gave up that life already, and It was still clinging on to me. But I couldn't leave Nnoitra's crime unpunished. I started towards Shuuhei's house like it was instinct. I had to do this, even if he hates me.

I couldn't keep still as I knocked on Shuuhei's door. Even standing there I was impatient and had to knock again and again. I didn't know what I would do once I saw him. I wasn't sure if I would cry like a goddamn baby and wrap him in my arms or yell at him. I wanted to do both. But would he even let me in? I knocked again and heard his voice right after.

"I'm coming shit- hold on!"

The door was opened and he came into view. His eyes widened once he realized it was me. I buried my hands in my pockets. Fuck... "Hey..." I drawled.

"Hey."

I was expecting him to say a little more. Like, 'I hate you Grimmjow' or 'Fuck you asshole get off my porch.' But he didn't, and overall he seemed pretty calm about this. Meanwhile I was freaking the fuck out inside. All I can think about is Nnoitra raping him. What it looked it- I don't want to fucking think about it! It only makes me angrier.

Damnit. I can't speak.

"Grimm. What are you doing here? Your face-"

I met his eyes and I felt word vomit come out of me like this mornings breakfast. "I- I didn't know."

"What?"

Please. Please just understand without me having to say it. I looked in his eyes and I wish I could tell him how sorry I am and how much of a dick I was but I'm a guy! This shit aint easy. "About... Nnoitra..." I paused, and he gave me this puzzling look before his eyes widened. "What he did to you-"

"Grimm! Please- just..." he stopped, and looked away as if he was ashamed. "You don't have to say anything," he said. "You didn't know."

"That's my point!" I shouted, suddenly becoming angry. And for good reason. I was angry that this happened to my best fucking friend! Angry because he never told me, angry because I didn't get the chance to beat the shit out of Nnoitra then instead of three years later now. "You didn't tell me! I would have-"

"Would've what? Beat him up?" Shuuhei asked. "As if that ever solves anything. How many times already have you beaten Shuuhei up, Grimmjow? No matter how much pain you inject on him it doesn't make my pain any worse!"

"Shuu..." He looked so damn sad. It sucks seeing him like this. I miss the happy, care-free Shuuhei that used to be my best friend. But now that I think about it... Shuuhei disappeared a long time ago. Maybe I didn't start being a bad friend when I didn't accept him, maybe it was when I didn't notice that he was suffering.

"Please don't apologize!" Shuuhei said harshly. He wasn't even looking at me. "I'm over what happened. I don't want to re-live old memories. So just... go. Okay? You don't have to feel sorry for me to make yourself feel better about what happened to me. You can leave now."

He made to shut the door, but I slid my foot in between to stop it. "I'm not going. This isn't to make myself feel better. So just listen OK?" He opened the door, still giving me this cold glare.

"I don't know how to handle things like this. You getting-" I stopped myself before I made yet another stupid mistake, and skipped that statement. "And finding out that you're gay. I mean I suck at this sentimental shit. But I'm sorry, I'm sorry it happened and I'm sorry I couldn't do anything about it! And I'm sorry that I'm a fucking dick and beat up your boyfriend. I'm sorry that I didn't accept you and sorry that I'm the worst fucking friend ever-"

"Grimmjow!" He held up his hands and shook his head. "Stop apoligzing!"

"But I-" I need to make you understand that you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you.

"No, I get it. I do. Just don't say anymore," he said, then smiled. Finally, some sort of sign that tells me he doesn't hate my guts. "Thank you. You don't know how many times I've tried to tell you... Tried to tell anyone, really. Even my own dad. It's just-" he covered his face with his hand. His next words came out choked and broken.
"How do you tell someone you were raped because you're gay?"

Oh hell. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. He's got me crying too and I don't even care anymore. I just held him as he cried. Now I understand just how much he's been hurting all this time. It's not just because I couldn't accept him. There is so much more and I was such a fucking jerk to him. Who knows what was going through his mind when I called him those hurtful names. I was Nnnoitra.

"I feel so damn disgusted with myself-" he sobbed. "I'm sorry!"

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault," I insisted. When was the last time I cried? I don't remember.

"Grimm..."

"I don't care how gay this looks, I love you. You'll always be my best friend."

And he started laughing, but crying at the same time. It must have looked weird as hell to anybody who may have seen us. Truth is, I don't care.