Just give me time
You know your desires and mine
Wrap my flesh in ivy and in twine
For I must be well
Keep the earth below my feet
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Well keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
—"Below My Feet" by Mumford & Sons
He stares at her, golden eyes wide with disbelief, and she stares right back.
"No," he breathes.
Tears spill out of her eyes and drop down, down her cheeks and onto the balcony floor. And then she lets out a pitiful, mournful noise, and despite his incredulity he cannot push her to speak again.
Her body wracks with powerful sobs and Katara covers her face with her hands.
All Zuko can do is stare.
After a moment he reaches out a hand and places it on her trembling shoulder. It's all she needs. She lets her body pitch to the side and then her head is resting in his lap as she cries.
"She looked like me. I look like her, before I got my scars," Katara wails, fingers curling into the fabric of Zuko's pants. "We had the same eyes, and she used to sing me to sleep and braid my hair. And I killed her. I did."
Zuko trails his fingers through her locks and stares listlessly down at her, seeing her but not really seeing her, because his mind is very far away. Something doesn't feel right.
"I know you," he finally says. "There's no way you have the capacity to kill your own mother."
She twists her neck up so that she can look him in the eye. "You don't know anything about me," she snarls, and Zuko's fingers still in her hair.
He doesn't say anything more, only listens to her ragged breathing as it eventually evens out and deepens with sleep. He waits until the sun has completely set, until it is completely dark, before he slowly and gently maneuvers her into his arms and then gets to his feet. She barely stirs.
Usually Zuko is kept awake by his troubled thoughts. Apparently the opposite is true for the waterbender. He remembers Iroh once telling him that dreams can be an escape for some.
He places her on top of his bed and pulls a blanket over her. She pulls the edge of the blanket over her head in her sleep and buries herself deeper into his plush bed. Not wanting to disturb her, Zuko walks to the other side of his bed and perches on the edge of it, too lost in his own thoughts to consider sleeping himself.
He spends the rest of the night watching the door, daring anything or anyone to threaten Katara's temporary peace.
Zuko eventually drifts off when the early morning rays of the sun start to make their way into his room. He catnaps for a bit, finally waking when there's a rustle of movement beside him. He rolls over to see Katara sitting up in bed with her arms wrapped around her knees. She stares ahead of her, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.
She's a murderer. She's a murderer, just like him.
The thought doesn't disgust him like it should. In fact, it comforts him. Today, she is a closer to his equal than anyone else.
He slowly sits up beside her, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I know what you want to talk to me about." The waterbender's voice is raw.
"You can tell me later." Zuko turns his body and places his feet onto the floor. His back is to Katara, but he can easily imagine the surprised look on her face that she's probably shooting in his direction.
When he tilts his head to look at her he finds her slack jawed, just as he had suspected.
"It's early," he explains. "Besides, I have things that I have to attend to at this moment."
Oh, that reminded him…
"By the way, your Interviews start this afternoon." He can't meet her eyes. He might say something that he doesn't mean. Or maybe he would mean it.
Katara nods slowly. "Fine." The bitterness in her voice creeps into his bones faster then he would like to admit.
He disappears into his closet and dresses himself before putting on his shoes and making his way to the door. He pauses before closing his fist around the doorknob. Odd, normally the girl he wakes up to is the first one to leave.
"You can stay in here as long as you want," he says, gesturing toward his bathroom.
"Are you sure that's smart?" she questions. "That bathroom is filled with water. I could bend my way out of here."
Zuko snorts and Katara's lips twitch in an almost-smile.
He leaves, closing the door behind him. A burning, crushing curiosity is threatening to engulf him. Katara is going to tell him the back story between her and her mother, and she is going to tell him tonight.
There's a flask in his pocket, but this time he doesn't pour anything into his tea. He sips from his teacup instead and lets the scolding liquid scold its way down his throat. The heat is comforting. The heat is something that he's used to.
Len looks pale today, much paler then she did yesterday. There are bags underneath her eyes and Zuko wonders how much sleep she managed to miss the night before.
The two of them sit in silence as they wait for Zhen.
The nobleman arrives right on time today.
Zhen slides into his chair without a word, and by the way his mouth is pressed into a firm line in seems as if he doesn't plan to speak at all today.
That resolve shatters as soon as he spots the plate full of raspberry tarts. He blinks in surprise, mouth open, before grabbing one.
"You didn't eat them all today," he notes.
Len shrugs one casual shoulder. "You weren't late." This comment earns her a small, discreet smile from Zhen, and the young man happily pops the tart into his mouth.
Zuko glowers into his tea. This is stupid. He doesn't want to be here. His mind is whirling with thoughts that have nothing to do with Zhen and Len and raspberry tarts.
But this is his duty, he reminds himself. He's here because Ozai decided that he was the better man for the job over Azula.
Because he's more capable then Azula. He's more brutal.
He is.
The prince glances down at the conversation starters, glad to have them. "How many children would you like to have?"
"None," Len states immediately. "But I don't really have a choice, do I?" She snarks out the last bit, but doesn't aim it toward anyone in particular.
Zhen is watching her. "I think having a couple would be nice." He quickly continues at Len's raised eyebrow. "I mean, it'd be interesting to see how they turned out."
"So you're morbidly curious." The earthbending volunteer traces her fingertips along the china teacup, but she doesn't take a sip. Her green eyes flick up to the man sitting across from her. "To be honest, I'm more interesting in making the children."
Both Zuko and Zhen stare openly at the young woman with wide, disbelieving eyes. Zhen's cheeks have turned bright red.
"Perhaps we should talk about things that are more appropriate." But Zuko can't keep the clear amusement out of his voice. He likes this girl. She's interesting.
Len raises an eyebrow at him. "Why not?" she challenges. "Sexual chemistry is important for any potential romantic relationship."
"But we don't even like each other," Zhen points out.
"You don't have to like someone to be sexually attracted to them."
"Well, yeah. But it helps."
"This program is essentially a breeding program. Sexual attraction is all you really need."
"You're over thinking this."
"Eat your raspberry tarts."
"No."
Len huffs and crosses her arms under her breasts. "Let me just ask you one question. Would you have sex with me?"
Zhen stares at her, dumbfounded, for a few long moments. His amber eyes start to glaze over, and Zuko can easily guess what he's thinking about.
"Right." Zuko scribbles down a couple of notes onto their progress sheet. "I'm giving the two of you clearance to go out on a chaperoned date. Have fun."
"Your Highness, wait." Zhen looks slightly panicked. "You're going to set me up with this…this crazy girl?"
"My sister is crazy. She isn't crazy." Zuko gives Len a curious once over. "Just aggressive."
Len looks particularly pleased with herself, as if she has reached some personal goal. Zuko wonders if intimidating Zhen during this Interview was her intent all along. He has to commend her on a job well done.
"You're both dismissed," he orders. He doesn't watch them leave. He pulls out his flask and lets it rest on top of the table. He takes in deep breaths, forcing himself to relax.
Fifteen minutes later she walks into the room, and his mind goes completely blank.
Her guards must have gone to his room and taken her back to her own, because it looks as if the royal dressers have given her an impromptu makeover. Her long, brown waves have been pulled back and piled on top of her head and someone has lined her eyes with charcoal.
Zuko hates it. She doesn't look anything like the spirited waterbender that he knows, that he's friends with. Because that's what they are, despite everything.
Friends.
"Stop staring at me," Katara snaps. She won't meet his gaze with hers, and Zuko can only imagine how uncomfortable she's feeling right now.
"Relax," he says quietly. Katara only purses her lips and turns her head away from him.
Something inside of Zuko's chest crumbles a little.
The door at the other end of the room swings open, and in strides a young looking man with light brown hair and kindly coffee-colored eyes.
Zuko hates him instantly.
Out of his peripheral vision he sees Katara sit up a little straighter and fold her hands in her lap. She hasn't touched her tea, nor any of the food sitting on top of the table.
The young man smiles at her as he sits down. "Hello," he greets, brown eyes taking in the waterbender.
Katara shifts a little bit in her seat.
The young nobleman looks at Zuko and bows his head in respect. Zuko merely frowns back at him.
"Katara," Zuko begins, voice low, "this is Ren. His father is a member of the Fire Lord's council."
Katara nods slowly and sniffs, clearly nervous.
"You look lovely this afternoon, Katara," Ren compliments. He actually sounds sincere; there's no trace of mockery in his voice.
However, by the way Katara sinks down in her seat Zuko can tell that she doesn't really believe him.
"Thank you." Her brown cheeks darken in a blush.
Zuko glares down at his now empty teacup. He forces himself to speak. "What are some of your favorite pastimes?" he asks, pulling from his ever present list of conversation starters.
To his utter fury, Ren immediately answers the question. "I quite enjoy reading." His eyes have not left Katara's since he greeted Zuko.
The waterbender reaches up to fiddle with her hair before remembering that it's all pulled back and out of her reach. "I just learned to read, actually."
Ren's expression lights up with interest. "That's wonderful!"
Katara nods. "Prince Zuko taught me himself."
Ren glances at Zuko in surprise. "Really? I would think his Highness would be too busy for things such as teaching—"
Zuko pins Ren with a withering look and the other man quickly changes the subject.
"Well, Katara, do you have any favorite scrolls yet?"
Katara perks up. "I really enjoy reading about the Painted Lady. She's intriguing."
Ren smiles. "She's my favorite as well."
The two strike up a conversation and soon seconds, minutes fly by without Zuko's permission. He doesn't take notes. He doesn't offer up anymore conversation starters. He simply stares at the wall and refuses to look at Katara, refuses to acknowledge her presence.
It hurts and he doesn't understand why.
They're laughing about something and Zuko blinks and swallows. What if Ren is Katara's right match? What if she leaves the palace, marries him, and has his children? These thoughts swallow Zuko whole and the ink brush snaps in his hand.
These thoughts are not just impossible, they are unacceptable.
It hurts and he doesn't understand why.
And then there's a pause in the chatting. Zuko looks up long enough to see Ren steeling himself to ask a question.
"Katara, out of curiosity, how did you get those scars?" He asks earnestly, and Zuko can detect no malice coming from the other man, just genuine inquisitiveness. But Katara's face, which had been happy and satisfied a moment before, suddenly darkens.
Something inside Zuko snaps at seeing Katara go from cheerful to cheerless in such a short amount of time.
It hurts and he doesn't understand why.
Before the waterbender can open her mouth, Zuko rounds on Ren. "What did you just ask her?"
Ren jumps, startled at Zuko's sudden outburst. "I apologize if I stepped out of line, but most scars come with a story. I was wondering if Katara—"
"Get out." Zuko's voice is low, dangerous. His pale fingers curl around the edge of the table. The smell of smoke is suddenly in the air.
Ren stares at him, shocked, and doesn't move.
"Get out," Zuko repeats, ignoring Katara's concerned hand on his arm.
Ren slowly nods and stands up before bowing low. "As you wish, Prince Zuko." He straightens up, lips twitching as he looks at Katara one more time. Then he leaves. Finally.
Silence stretches out between Zuko and Katara for a long moment.
"What is wrong with you?" Katara stands up so quickly that she knocks her chair backwards.
"He asked you about your scars!" Zuko shouts, rising from his seat.
Katara's mouth falls open in incredibility. "So? A lot of people ask me about my scars. You've asked me about my scars!"
"Yes, but I stopped asking!"
"Why does that matter?"
"Because you don't like it! You don't like it when people point out that half your face is mangled!"
Katara freezes, blue eyes shiny, and Zuko opens his mouth to barrel forward before suddenly stopping.
It hurts and he doesn't understand why.
He turns around and stalks from the room, trying to ignore the fact that Katara is hot on his heels.
"Why does it matter?!" she shouts at his back furiously. "Why does it matter to you?"
It hurts and he doesn't understand why.
He makes his way through the palace corridors, intent on getting to his bedroom as quickly as possible. Katara screams at him the whole time. Servants stop and stare, flabbergasted that he's letting her.
He reaches his bedroom door and yanks it open. Katara doesn't let him slam it in her face; she follows him inside instead.
Her voice sounds far away. "I am a scarred, messed up, runaway waterbender with no life prospects outside of running around with a bounty hunter. You…you're a prince of the Fire Nation. You're a master of your element, you were born to rule, and you're beautiful." Her voice breaks. "Why do I matter to you?"
It hurts and he doesn't understand why.
When he kisses her, he half expects her to feel cool. But she's doesn't. She feels far from it. Her mouth is burning hot against his; her tongue leaves fire as it traces over his bottom lip. She is an inferno and Zuko thought that he was used to this kind of sweltering heat. He's not. He's far from being used to it. He doesn't ever want to get used to it.
She burns.
Her head is propped up against one of his pillows. She watches him behind a curtain of messy waves. This is the Katara that he's used to. This is the Katara that he prefers. She's still in her nicer clothes from her earlier Interview, but the upper part of her top is ruffled from Zuko's wandering hands. The charcoal around her eyes is smudged, but Zuko likes it. Tonight, there's something wild about her.
His head feels sleepy and it's as if something heavy is sitting atop his chest. He doesn't mind. He doesn't mind anything.
Katara reaches out and traces a design into Zuko's shoulder. He lets her. It feels nice, comforting.
He's not all that surprised when she starts to speak.
"There was a raid. I'd never seen a raid before, but the older members of the Tribe always talked about how the snow would turn black, and when that happened then you needed to hide. You can't run away in the Water Tribes. There's nowhere to run to. I was ten, and I was with my brother. When the black snow started to fall I ran to go find my mother. By the time I found her in our igloo there were already Fire Nation soldiers everywhere. I thought they were going to eat me, devour me whole. I wasn't young enough to still have thoughts like that.
"I walked into our igloo and found my mother with a soldier. This man…there was something off in his eyes. There was a blood thirst, a desire to harm. Sort of like your sister. My mom told me to run and find my father, the Chief. I left the igloo…but it was like my feet couldn't move. I was too scared to do anything.
"That's when I heard the man start speaking to my mother. He told her that he was looking for the last waterbender, and that if she handed them over then he and the rest of his men would leave us alone. My mother…my mother told him that she was the last waterbender. I knew that I should have revealed myself. You see, rumors had spread that the Fire Nation was looking for benders to help populate their own country. A young, waterbending girl like me would've been taken alive. But someone as old as my mom…"
Katara's voice cracks and the tears start to run down her cheeks.
"She claimed that she was the waterbender, and he killed her, and I didn't do anything to stop him. I didn't tell him the truth, like I should have. I let my mother die for me. I let her die for me and my bending, all because I was too frightened to tell that soldier the truth. I could have saved my mother. I could have kept our family whole. But I didn't."
Zuko shakes his head and scoots a little bit closer to her. "You were a child."
"I was old enough," Katara says haughtily. "In the Water Tribes, we protect out family. And I didn't do that. I didn't do what was right. My mother's blood is on my hands. Mine."
"But you didn't kill her, Katara."
Incomprehensible sadness washes over her face. "I might as well have."
She sighs and then continues. "We pushed her out to sea the next day. My father and most of the other men of our Tribe left soon to fight in the war. A few years went by…" She hesitates here, as if skipping over details. Zuko realizes that she's hiding something from him. "I felt guilty and disconnected from my brother and my grandmother. So, when I was twelve, I snuck onto a trading ship from Kyoshi and left."
"And found June."
"She found me, rather."
Zuko frowns and looks at the wall over Katara's shoulder. It figures that she would guilt trip herself into thinking that something that clearly wasn't her fault was her fault.
Meanwhile, he'd murdered someone in cold blood. He wins this particular contest.
But he doesn't say this aloud.
Soon, Katara's body curls along his and the smell of her hair relaxes him until he finds himself in a deep, dreamless sleep.
He's unceremoniously roused in the middle of the night by someone banging on his door. The first thing he does after waking is to check to make sure that Katara is all right.
She continues to peacefully sleep. He smiles. It must be nice to be such a heavy sleeper.
He gets out of his bed and yanks open the door, lips curving down in a deep, irritated frown.
The guard looks embarrassed and a bit mortified. "My apologies, Prince Zuko, b-but your sister has returned."
A/N:
First off, sorry that this wasn't updated soon. Real life can get super crazy, as I'm sure y'all know.
Second off, wasn't really expected the massive response for the last chapter SO THANK YOU to everyone who left their thoughts. I really appreciate it! You guys are awesome.
I hope this chapter made some of you happy. ;) Leave me your thoughts!
*sigh* We're so close to the sexy times. Finally…