Chapter 2: imma firin mah lazer!

[AN]: I'm sure you can already tell who our protagonists are going to encounter in this chapter, if not, then watch the lazer collection to give you a hint. Wait what the heck is in there?

"DR OCTOGONAPUS! BLAAAAAGGGGHHH"

Can our heros withstand the force of the master spark, lets find out.

Chapter 2: Imma Firin Mah Lazer

Rumia's POV

Ow, those things hurt; they're unfair. How am I supposed to dodge that I opened my eyes and got up from the blanket, I noticed I was in a tent

Matt looked over at me. "hm? Oh your awake"

I smiled weakly. "oh, it's you! Why did you save me?"He's defiantly a youkai, I can sense it

"because I don't believe in pointless killing." Matt had a smile on his face.

"is that so… I-I mean t-thank you." I stuttered. Now's the time to be serious, come-on

"my name is Matt, what is your name?" he said as he smiled.

I got up from the makeshift bed I was sleeping on and proudly stated "my name is Rumia." He's so nice, usually when people defeat me, they just leave me.

Dan had walked in while I was talking to Matt. "You should really stop talking to IT!" I jumped a little when I heard his voice.

Matt looked over at him "that's not very nice." Matt frowned "she's a person, just like you and me."

Dan snickered. "That's what I would expect to hear from a demon. Kid, I won, so tell me where you have your food stashed." Dan looked at me threateningly as he said the last part.

"But I don't have any. You were going to be my food… Can I still eat you?" I said as I had a mischievous grin on my face.

Dan jumped up and shouted angrily. "NO!"

My stomach let out a low growl Ugh, I haven't eaten since I found rummaged through that shrine maiden's garbage. I'm a terrible hunter.

I held my stomach as a sharp pain came from it. "Ow, my poor tummy. I'm so hungry, I'm going to starve!"

Matt gestured over to the creature he had killed. "you can have some of our food if you like" he said with a welcoming smile.

Wow, none has ever offered me a meal before. "Thank you."

After Breakfast

Matt's POV

Wow, she eats like a pig.

Rumia finished eating the leg of the animal I had killed "*buuurp* ah, thanks. Now my belly is full of food." She grinned at me while Dan made a face of disgust.

Geez, she seems so innocent, it makes me forget she tried to eat my partner's flesh.

Dan looked over to me, while still keeping his puke face on "what are you doing feeding 'IT'?"

"she was just trying to survive" I said in a defensive tone.

Dan looked at me angrily. "Uh, hello. 'IT' tried to eat my flesh!"

I told you, she's not an 'it', she's a person. I glared at Dan angrily. "that's in the past now." I let out a sigh "can't we just forgive and forget." Seriously, you need to not hold grudges. It's unhealthy.

Dan put on his disgusted face again. "you know what your problem is, your too nice." Dan drew one of his holy knives, but something was different about this one.

t-that knife! Its coated in holy water! I shuttered as soon as I sensed the holy water. I'm guessing Rumia sensed it too, because all the color left her face. And she was staring at it with wide eyes.

Dan grinned sadistically as he noticed our fear "you need to learn to be more aggressive. You should start by cutting her stomach open and getting our wasted food back!"

That's… disturbing. I stood up from the ground and looked Dan strait in the eyes "D-d-Dan, y-you shouldn't have those things out! Y-you know what will happen to me if I get t-touched by one of those!"

Dan looked at me and smiled. "Why should I care, your only getting in the way right now!"

All of a sudden, Rumia had a nervous breakdown, crying twin waterfalls of tears. "Aaaah, Matt, please don't let him hurt meeee!" She ran up and hid behind me, using me as a meat-shield.

I looked over at Dan "aw, look what you've done now, you scared her" Suddenly, my expression changed to an angry one. "all you've been doing since you got here is try to kill things, and think about killing things. You're a total sadist!"

Dan looked at me as his face scrunched up "you're really pissing me off right now."

I looked back at him, and then at Rumia, who was still hiding behind me with a scared expression on her face. "I won't let you hurt her!"

Dan's face scrunched up even more "You're getting in the way." Dan said as his eye was twitching. He started to draw his gun, and aimed it at Rumia's head. "I don't care what you say, 'IT', Dies NOW"

I haven't seen him this angry since snowstorm shut down his favorite online game, nation of battle-craft

Matt "this is madness!"

Dan "madness…" Dan paused, he looked down at the ground, then back at me, and yelled: "THIS. IS. GENSOKYO!" Dan kicked me and Rumia out of the tent.

Oh god what a horrible joke.I started running away carrying Rumia. I looked back at Dan, who was pulling a vial of… IS THAT HOLY WATER! I thought with a sense of surprise. Did he come prepared to kill demons?

Rumia looked at me. "hurry, he's catching up!" Rumia said this as she had an expression of fear on her face.

I looked back at her. "you know, you have two perfectly good legs." Rumia made the biggest 'OMG-I'm-such-an-idiot' face I've ever seen. She leaped out of my arms, and started flying ahead of me.

Oh yeah, you can fly. But I should be able to as well. I started concentrating on lifting off the ground. Suddenly, I started to feel a light sensation as my feet lifted off the ground. Woo, I'm flying. It felt weird. Like you were underwater, exept you didn't have to hold your breath… and you could swim without moving your arms… and you weren't actually underwater. But seriously, this feels really trippy.

Dan looked up angerly at us "Aww, how come you sissies get to fly, and I can't!"

I looked back at him with a hint of fear "I'll t-tell you after you c-c-calm down." I said while flying away as fast as I could.

"RRRGGGAAAHHHH" Dan let out a primal scream

Jeez, calm down

We kept flying through the forest, dodging trees and rocks. When suddenly we came to a clearing. It looked like all the trees that once stood here had been burned down. Obviously, a battle had taken place here.

Rumia and I landed near a cave and took refuge there. It smelled like a moldy shower room. "Ugh, it stinks in here." I pinched my nose

Rumia looked back at me as she smiled wiping the tears from her face. "Well, at least we'll be safe here. So why does one of your arms look like it's made out of metal?"

Geez, technology really is forigen to Gensokyo. "Well, uh, it is."

Rumia looked back at me "is that so?"

I started to un-strap the limb. It made a whirring-down noise as I took it off and the already dim lights faded. After I was done, I handed it to Rumia. "I lost my real arm in a gun fight."

Rumia looked puzzled "what's a gun fight?"

Of course she doesn't know what a gun fight is. I sighed "Remember that thing that my partner, Dan pointed at you?" She nodded "well, in the outside world, people use those to fight each other, exept they usually kill each other."

Rumia looked down at the ground and shuttered "I don't like those things, it still hurts where he shot me." Rumia said as she looked down

"well, that's because it left metal bullets where it hit. Usually, it's safer to leave the bullet in, then to remove it." She looked at me. I continued "but in this case, the bullets were made out of pure silver, and were blessed. So I had to take them out." Rumia looked over at her shoulder where the bullet had hit. "the reason it still hurts is because those holy bullets have a greater effect on us. If he had shot you in the head, you wouldv'e been purified"

Rumia had fear evident in her eyes "I don't wanna be purified" she handed the arm back to me, and I put it back on. "Will you promise to protect me?" she asked with a hopeful, pleading expression, while holding her hands in front of her chest like she was praying.

I sweatdropped as I looked nervous "Uuhhh, sure."

She jumped up and kissed me on the cheek

I blushed "gah!"

Rumia giggled "now you have to keep your promise."

Enough about me

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck. "So uhh, tell me a bit about yourself."

"ok" she said with a smile "for starters, you see this ribbon in my hair?" I nodded "it's actually an amulet that seals my true power."

I looked at the amulet. "Why is your power sealed?" I asked

Rumia shrugged "I don't know the specific reason, all I remember is the caster telling me that I was too dangerous to be left alone." Her smile faded. "I can't remove it, or even touch it for that matter."

I looked at her "anything else?"

She frowned "no, all I know is that I used to be very powerful, but now, I am just a low level youkai, just wandering around. But I still get to have some fun" she started to smile "sometimes me and these other girls go out and play pranks on the humans."

Gosh, is she bi-polar or something, first she's all happy, then she gets depressed, then she's happy again, telling me about pranks.

Rumia smiled with a widely "this one time we were on the outskirts of the human village, when we decided to switch all the signs around" Rumia was glaring at me with a mischevious grin. "people were confused for days."

Matt "that sounds interesting." I said as i closed my eyes

"yes, interesting indeed." Another voice said

My eyes snapped back open and Rumia and I both jumped "h-h-how long have you b-been there?" I looked at the figure to see it was Dan. He was looking at Rumia who was frozen in place, and all color had left her face.

Geez, you have a real talent for sneaking up on people.

Dan "most of your conversation."

Suddenly, Rumia jumped behind me and was clinging to my back. "help, he wants to purify meeeee." She said as Dan looked at us murderously. Wow, he really left some trauma in her.

"don't worry, I have forgiven you for what you have done." Rumia eased up a little at this comment "however! That doesn't mean I'm not going to kill you." Ok, now we were both shaking, as I noticed he was holding a large bottle of holy water. "I only pretended to be your partner Matthew. I am really a crusader, who's goal is to purify this world. I was cursed during the first crusades to walk among the living until every last demon in the world is purified. I knew what you were all along. The only reason I didn't kill you on sight, was because I thought you could lead me back to a demon nesting place. You see, I knew that there were actually a lot more demons left in the world, but I couldn't locate them on the map. You led we to their nest, and now, it's time to exterminate the infestation." At this point, me and Rumia were hugging each other in fear as he had uncorked the bottle that held a demon's equivalent of cyanide.

"h-h-hey, c-come on b-buddy. C-can't we just talk this out?" I said, while shaking.

He looked at me with his usual sadistic grin. "No." He said as he poured the liquid into an ordinary squirt gun.

I can't believe this! I'm going to die at the mercy of a child's plaything!

BOOM

Lucky for me, an loud explosion occurred outside the cave, and Dan dropped the bottle, where it shattered on the ground. Dan lost his balance, and that's when we made a run for it. We hurried outside and saw the source of the explosion. In the middle of a clearing, stood a black and white witch. Who was holding an octagon-shaped box with a large jewel in the middle. And she was pointing it straight at us.

"oh goody, target practice!"

Oh shit

Rumia looked at the figure, who was riding on a broomstick. "Marisa, please help us, there is a madman that wants to get us!"

The girl named Marisa looked at us with a sly grin "I don't have a problem with that ze. In fact, maybe I should help him. Love sign: master spark!" a large beam erupted from the jewel on the box and headed straight for us.

Well eff me

The laser struck Rumia and. we fell down, both of us were badly charred.

Dan had walked out of the cave "thank you witch, you just made my job a lot easier." Marisa turned around to face the person that was speaking.

"it's ok, did they try to eat you?" Marisa said cheerfully.

"yes." Spoke Dan as he walked up to me and Rumia. He took out another bottle of holy water.

This is it

"wait, what are you doing?" said Marisa, with a look of suspicion on her face.

Dan looked back at marisa "what does it look like I'm doing, I'm purifying them."

"Gee, I know they tried to eat your flesh, but come on, don't you think extermination is a little extreme ze?" Marisa now had a serious expression on her face.

Oh thank you whoever is watching over me!

Dan stood up and struck his chest. "it is my goal to exterminate or purify all the demons in the world."

"ok" she now had an evil grin on her face "getting revenge on someone is one thing, but killing something is completely different. You can't just go around killing everybody you don't like!"

Dan uncorked the bottle of holy water "I must fufill my goal, and there is nothing you can do to stop me." He said as he prepared to purify us.

If this were an anime, my eyes would be big white circles with a teardrop under one of them… oh, wait. This is a fanfiction. Well then, I DO have large white circles for eyes and the IS a single teardrop hanging from one of them. "don't I get a say in this!"

"no!" Marisa and Dan Said at the same time.

Marisa then held the box up to Dan.

Dan snickered "do you really think that little toy will stop me?"said Dan, obviously not seeing it hit us earlier.

Marisa grinned. "Love sign: master spark!" the beam tore down to where Dan was and enveloped him in a beam of light. When the debris cleared. Rumia and I, finally regaining the ability to move, looked to see where Dan was. He was charred badly, just like us

Dan clenched his fists "Grrr, curses. Foiled again!" he said as he looked at the bottle of holy water that had apparently evaporated due to the heat of the laser. "I'll be back."

Yeah, see you later Schwarzenegger.

He then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Marisa flew over to us. She was riding on a bamboo broom, and wore a black vest over a white and black dress. She had an apron in the front and her hat was… monsterous.

Marisa held out a hand to me "need some help?" she said, looking genuinely concerned.

"no." I got up, and brushed the soot off of myself. Rumia was doing the same.

I don't think I've ever been so close to death in my life.

I looked at her on the eyes "thank you Marisa."

"no problem, say, I haven't seen you before. Are you a new youkai?"

"yeah, I'm the new guy in Gensokyo." I said as I got up.

she then glanced at me. "We'll call it even if you let me borrow that arm."

Yep, time to go.

I took off leaving Marisa and Rumia in the dust.

Rumia looked chased after me. "Wait for meeeee!" She cried as she flew off to catch up with me."

"oh well, time to go raid Patchy's library again!" Marisa said with a mischevious look on her face

Hakurei shrine

Reimu's POV

I looked at Yukari with fire burning in my eyes "you idiot, how could you have not noticed he was a demon killer!" I was furious. Goddammit Yukari, you put all of Gensokyo in danger.

"fu-fu-fu-fu, it'll be ok Reimu. That boy will stop him and the demon killer will be expelled from Gensokyo." Yukari said as she hid the lower part of her face behind a fan.

I clenched my fists and said "you better be right, if I have to get my hands dirty with this, I'm sealing you for a week." This comment made Yukari flinch a little. I knew that kid would cause trouble.

Yukari regained her composure "don't worry, he'll solve it. But, odd partner, don't you think." said Yukari, trying to change the subject.

I looked back at Yukari, holding out my arms like Rumia usually does. "Yeah, I didn't he would hit it off with such a weirdo."

Yukari took out her fan "Fu-fu-fu-fu, you were always so funny Reimu."

Misty lake (evening)

Matt's POV

Wow, I never thought Dan would turn on me like that.

I was flying across a lake. Rumia was at my right side. For some reason, she didn't have her arms held out like usual. She looked like she was going to cry.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I reached over to comfort her

"… I'm scared." She had a tear dripping down from her face.

Even though she eats human flesh, she acts like such a child. "It's ok, we'll stop him." I said as we landed on an island in the middle of the lake.

Rumia looked back at me "could you hold me again, it felt good"

I leaned over to hug her like last time. As we lay down onto a nearby patch of grass. It was nearly nightfall. "it's ok, I promised I wouldn't let anyone hurt you." I closed my eyes "I promise… zzzz." We both drifted off to sleep.

3rd POV

As Matt and Rumia lay in the grass, they each are dreaming.

Rumia is dreaming about going out and pulling the mother of all pranks with Cirno and her friends.

Matt on the other hand is having a nightmare about being hunted down by Dan

In Matt's nightmare, he is in a dark alleyway with Rumia as Dan stares down at Matt holding an anti-material rifle loaded with bullets that were filled with holy water.

"No! Stop!"

As he closed in, Matt looked over at Rumia, only to find a pile of bones dripping with holy water.

"No... NOOOOOOOO!"

He aimed the rifle at me

"Goodbye, partner"

"DON'T KILL ME!" Matt awoke with a start.

Scarlet Devil Mansion Outskirts (morning)

Matt's POV

I looked around, to find that Rumia was still sleeping, and that I was still alive. I let out a sigh of relief it was only a nightmare. I went over to wake Rumia up, only to have a black and white blur beat me to it.

Rumia opened her eyes "ughhh, morning already." Rumia said as she rubbed her eyes.

I nodded "yup, we should go find some breakfast." I looked over at the mansion a little ways away "let's go ask the people who live there if they would let us have some."

Rumia grew wide eyed "ummm, I don't think that's a good idea."

Huh? Why not?

Rumia continued "the people that live there don't really like to be bothered."

I looked over to her "well, we need to warn them about Dan anyways, so lets go" I said as I got up

Rumia got up and encased herself in a black blob of darkness "is that so?" she followed me.

Scarlet Devil Mansion gate

We walked past the huge gates of the mansion. I noticed a girl dressed in a Chinese guard outfit was sleeping on a nearby stool. As we made our way up to the door, I noticed that there was a huge surge of power within the mansion. It felt like it was coming from the basement.

"We better knock"

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is so. Now please stop saying that!"

"Hmpf!"

*knock knock*

…

…

…

No answer

I looked over at Rumia "come on, lets just go inside."

I opened the doors to the mansion as they made a loud creak. I found myself in a large foyer, and everything was scarlet colored.

"Geez, the owner must really like this color" I muttered.

"Is that so?" Rumia said in a sing-song voice.

I glared over at Rumia. she was smiling widely at me. "You know what, forget it." I said as I walked down some stairs that led to what I assume is the basement.

It was Dark and a pungent smell filled my nose. to my right was a large metal door covered in seals and runes.

BANG

A loud clanking noise could be heard as the door shook. I better not go in there. As I continued down the hallway, I came to a large wooden double door. Wow, that door is humongous. The door was at least 5 times my height.

I looked over at Rumia and said "Do you think we should go in?"

Rumia smiled at me. "Totally!"

Hm, I didn't think anyone in Gensokyo knew any slang.

I pushed the door open, and unlike the front door. this one was silent as a mouse. As soon as I walked into the room, I stood speechless. w-wow, there must be more books here than in the library of congress. Bookshelves over 3 stories high towered over Rumia and I. I noticed a few gaps in the bookshelves. hm, the collection must be incomplete.

As we walked along the library, one certain book caught my attention. wha? I didn't know they made a wikipedia book. There was a book labeled "Wikipedia" to my right. I'll check that out later. gotta focus.

I wandered around the library for what felt like hours.

ugh, I'm lost in a labyrinth of books.

I found it strange that the shelves were arranged in a maze-like pattern.

I wish there was a librarian on duty.

As if my wish was granted, I turned a corner and saw a purple-haired girl trapped under a mountain of books.

"Mukyu! can you please help me!" She pleaded.

I nodded and went over to the pile of books. I reached out to her with my metallic arm and said "here, take my hand."

She weakly grabbed my hand, and with one swift motion, I pulled her out with great ease. We both fell to the floor with a thud.

I got up and brushed myself off. "hello, can you help me?"

"Mukyu! of course. as long as you don't steal any books. What do you need help with?" she wheezed.

As she got up, I got a better look at her. She seemed to be wearing a purple-pink striped nightgown under a purple robe. She wore a purple mob-cap with a golden crescent moon adorning it. Her skin was as pale as a ghost, and she had purple eyes.

"I just want to get out of here."

"And I'm hungry."Rumia said with a childish expression.

"Ok, follow me." Said the girl in purple as she ignored Rumia's comment. "So, what's your name?"

"My name is Matthew Harrison, but you can call me Matt." I said while pointing at myself in a dramatic way. "So What's your name?"

"My name is Patchouli, Patchouli Knowledge. You will Refer to me as Miss Knowledge." She stated with a dull expression.

Why do I doubt that Knowledge is her family name?

As we continued, there was an eerie silence. Rumia was the first to break the silence. "hmph" she crossed her arms, and with the expression of a whiny child she said. "Why didn't you ask my name?"

"Because your not important" Patchouli replied with an uncaring expression.

Rumia flew ahead of me and Patchy - I think I'll just call her Patchy - and stuck out her tongue.

Patchy was eyeing my metal arm "so, why are you wearing that?"

"Isn't it obvious. I lost my real arm." I said looking up to her.

She looked back down at me "I'll have to take a look at that sometime."

As we exited the library, I saw Rumia standing in front of the large metal door from before. She was looking at the bars on the upper portion of the door, but I don't think she was admiring the craftsman ship of the door. There were 2 red searchlights peering back at her.

"Rumia?" I said, walking up next to her.

Patchy noticed the eyes staring from behind the bars as she adopted a nervous expression "get away from that door! Mukyu!"

I looked up at the red eyes, as they followed me as I continued down the hall.

We were soon back at the foyer, but instead of it being empty like last time, there was a little girl with blue hair standing in the center.

Patchy sweatdropped "oh, hey... Remi"

To be continued...

[AN]: I think I did a much better Job in this chapter then I did in the previous. I'm sure you guys know who those eyes belong to. we will meet her next chapter.

This is Sweebation, Signing off.