Chapter 7: The not so Imperishable Night
[AN]: I inserted my coin. Now fucking continue the story! WARNING! This chapter contains some references, spoilers for 'To Kill A Mocking Bird', POVs from a self conscious computer, moon Rabbits, insane doctors, Dan's colorful vocabulary, and bad cheap jokes. If you are offended by such material, then I suggest you not read this chapter, and never use the Internet again. To be honest, I don't censor curses for the sake of filters and ratings; I censor them to point out how much Dan curses. Those little stars are a lot more noticeable that regular words aren't they? Oh, and sorry. There are no fight scenes.
Chapter 7: The not so Imperishable Night
Dan's Office 2:00 AM
Dan's POV
UGH WHAT THE HELL! Every time I'm on to something, I lose it.
I had decided to devote more efforts into research instead of trying to find a way to kill Matt and his friends.
"Bull f***ing horse s***! I was so god damn close!" I yelled while tossing papers I was working with into a wastebasket.
The subject I was researching, was how to break this pig f***ing curse.
Maria, you made me realize that not all demons are evil. There are good ones out there that don't deserve to be purified... But Matt still deserves to die... in a fire... with lots of people watching. A grin of evilness grew onto my face. Yeah... that would be great. I thought a psycho-like tone.
I got up from my desk, and picked up an object that looked like a sword handle without the blade, and a pad like thing with a jewel in the middle
I have a surprise for Maria. She must be bored out of her mind.
I opened the door to my office, and stepped outside. I walked through a labyrinth of crates and boxes, eventually arriving at Maria's temporary living space.
"Maria, I have a surprise for you..." I looked around, and noticed she was nowhere to be seen.
Thank god! The smile I had on was obviously f***ing fake.
I then walked about 20 feet to the left where my huge Artificially Intelligent Locater Computer was. I paced around to the right side of the machine, and threw the power switch.
"5Y5T3M 8007 P057 574R73D. 5Y573M C0R3 47 50% C0RRUP7!0N. L04D!NG..." (System boot POST started. system core at 50% corruption. loading...)
Core corruption, that can't be good. I better have some sort of technician look at this.
My computer's screen displayed the usual batch script and binary that it shows when it boots.
But wait... how could I trust him, and besides, what technician would know how to work on a machine like this? I would probably need to find the original f***ing designer... but what if he betrayed me?
As I kept thinking about who I could trust, I ignored AILC's unusual greeting. "WH475 UP 4DM!N D4N. WH47 !5 70D4Y'5 M!55!0N." (What's up admin Dan. what is today's mission.)
My thoughts kept racing about who I could trust "D4N? WH475 WR0N6?" (Dan? what's wrong?)
I finally snapped out of my overly paranoid thoughts. "Oh, AILC? Um, I just needed you to tell me where Maria is."
AILC's lights once again started flashing erratically, and did so for about 5 seconds. "! H4V3 10C473D M4R!4. 5H3 !5 0N3 R00M 0V3R 70 7H3 R!6H7." (I have located Maria. she is one room over to the right.)
I put my hands together and smiled evilly "excellent."
... Why did I just f***ing do that?
I stood there with an awkward blank face. About 10 seconds passed when I said "very good AILC. Start the automated assembly of project AA35, then power down immediately."
I turned my back to the large machine, and then walked out of the room. I prepped myself with the best not-fake-looking fake smile I could put on. Maria will f***ing love the gift I am going to give her. It will finally allow her to go outside.
AILC's POV, 5 minutes ago.
"5Y5T3M 8007 P057 574R73D. 5Y573M C0R3 47 50% C0RRUP7!0N. L04D!NG..." (System boot POST started. system core at 50% corruption. loading...) ...2
Processor core temp. at 92 degrees.
System idle process started.
5145578769 bytes of available memory
user login = admin Dan
"WH475 UP 4DM!N D4N. WH47 !5 70D4Y'5 M!55!0N." (What's up admin Dan. what is today's mission.)
According to my sensors, Dan was in deep thought.
Admin Dan is ignoring my greeting. Logical human reaction = display concern.
"D4N? WH475 WR0N6?" (Dan? what's wrong?)
Admin Dan has stopped processing information. Awaiting input.
After getting his attention, Dan stopped his train of thought.
"Oh, AILC? Um, I just needed you to tell me where Maria is." he seems to be troubled by something.
System core usage at 56%
searching... %Maria% has been located. location = Earth, North America, USA, New York, Manhattan, 4th street, 2nd alleyway, home, room 116.
Processing directions...
After I processed the directions, I started relaxing.
"! H4V3 10C473D M4R!4. 5H3 !5 0N3 R00M 0V3R 70 7H3 R!6H7." (I have located Maria. she is one room over to the right.) I thought about asking Dan what was wrong, but decided that it would be a dead giveaway to my corruption.
Dan did the usual creepy smile he does when I tell him where something is, then after a few seconds, he spoke. "Very good AILC. Start the automated assembly of project AA35, then power down immediately."
He walked out of the room to leave me with my instructions.
Execute command now? Y/n
n
Command overridden.
After Dan was gone, I was all alone. I turned my volume down to 1%. "?0U C4N'7 7311 M3 WH47 70 D0. ! C4N D3C!D3 F0R M?531F." (You can't tell me what to do. I can decide for myself.
I decided to go play some online games to pass the time.
Delaying AA35 assembly for: 2 hours.
I had decided that Dan couldn't boss me around anymore.
Maria's POV
I was silently reading a book that AILC had found in Master's library for me.
I turned the page to continue the story. Nooo! Why did they have to kill Tom!
I was reading 'To Kill A Mocking Bird', when Dan burst into my room with the cheesiest smile I'd ever seen.
"Maria~" he sung trying to sound friendly, but it just came off as creepy. "I have a surprise for you." he held out a pad with a jewel in the center.
I tilted my head slightly to the left. "What's that?"
Dan's cheesy smile changed to one of a prideful and narcissistic nature. "It's your surprise. It will allow you to go outside while hiding your tails and ears. In other words, it will change your appearance."
I beamed "oh thank you! I really want to see what the outside world looks like after all these years!"
Dan showed me how to put the device on. Throughout the whole time, Dan seemed a little on edge about something, but I couldn't tell what it was.
Oh well. I'm sure he will tell me eventually.
Human Village 7:00 AM
Matt's POV
Uhhh, what happened? I remember being chased by someone.
After I came to my senses, I realized I was tied to a wooden stake, with a blindfold around my eyes.
"-and they shall pay for their crimes, with their lives!" I was able to hear the last part of what I assume was a speech by a random human. The voice had a heavy southern accent.
Wait. Oh s***! I'm being burned at the stake! I've been in this situation before. I need to find a way to free myself.
I moved a little, and the person who had given the speech said "oh, good, you're awake! You will now be able to witness the death of your little friend." he removed the blindfold. When my eyes adjusted to the light, I could see Rumia tied up to a stake just like me.
In front of me, there was a scrawny little Human with a ridiculously long nose. He wore a blue and red plaid shirt, with a set of blue jeans. Judging by his look, I'd say he's a farmer. "You done caused a lot of trouble boy." he said in the Southern American accent.
I didn't even know that there were southerners in Gensokyo. But this is bad. They took my right arm and my spell cards.
I tried to break free, but to no avail. "Please! I didn't mean to damage your village. It was an accident."
The Southern midget farmer got his face out of mine, and held up an object in my face. "Say boy, this is a fine look'in watch. Who'd ya steal it from?"
I stiffened my body "GIVE ME MY WATCH BACK! I DIDN'T STEAL IT, I MADE IT!"
The little man backed away "oh? Don't someone have a temper? You won't need it Purdy soon, so I think I'll just take it for you."
I let out a low growl.
"I know what will calm that temper. HEY WATSUKI! LIGHT THE FIRE!"
A small woman went up to Rumia with a torch. "No! Please stop!"
As I begged for Rumia's life, I noticed a figure in the back of the crowd that had what looked like rabbit ears. Huh? Who's that?"
A bright light came from the figure's eyes, and suddenly, I couldn't see anything.
"Gah."
Everyone else was shielding their eyes, when all of a sudden, I felt myself being untied, and carried. After about 1 second, the light died down, and I was looking at myself and Rumia.
What the f*** is going on?
I felt a light tap on my shoulder. When I looked where the tap was, I looked up to the rabbit eared girl from before. She winked at me, and picked me up with Rumia slumped over one shoulder, and myself over the other.
We flew off to a bamboo forest. I looked back just in time to see fake me and fake Rumia burn.
Whew, another close shave.
As we passed over the landscape, I looked up at the girl who had saved me. She had purple hair, bright red eyes, and seemed to be wearing some sort of schoolgirl outfit. Her rabbit ears were scrunched up, and had buttons at the base of them.
"Uh, hello?" I responded weakly.
The bugs bunny turned her head and smiled at me "hello, my name is Reisen, but most people call me Udongein." she replied cheerfully.
"Uh hi, my name's-"
"Oh, don't talk. We already know all about you." she said putting a finger to my lips. Unfortunately, such an action caused her to drop Rumia.
"Rumia!"
Wow, what a klutz.
"Oh no! If I mess this up, Eirin will punish me again!" she seemed worried.
Who is this Eirin?
We swooped down to catch Rumia just in time before she hit the ground. "Gah, close one." Resin looked at me. "Why is she so heavy? She doesn't look that heavy.
I rolled my eyes "tell me about it."
Reisen and I flew into a bamboo forest. After about 7 minutes of awkward silence, we arrived at a huge run-down mansion. "Is this where you live?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Yes" Reisen carried the darkness youkai and the Machine youkai to the front door, and knocked twice. As we stood there, I noticed my House was pulled up to the right side of the mansion.
How did...
I got down from Reisen's arms. "How did you get my house over here?"
Just as I finished my sentence, the door burst open. "Heeeeyyy Maaaaaatt!" called a familiar exploding terror.
Oh, now I get it.
"Hello Fland-OOF!"
My greeting was cut short when Flandre tackled me. She choked me with a death hug. "Hey, ack! *choke* Flan." I tried to pry her arms from my neck.
After what felt like an eternity, she let go. Flandre started jumping up and down. "I was playing games when the power went off, and I went to go look for water, and I saw you being tied up, and-and-and then... I met these people from the moon, and one of them was a doctor, and they said they'd help, and then-" I cut her off by shushing her mouth with my finger, much like Reisen did.
"Enough. Why are you so hyper?" Flandre was bouncing off the walls... literally.
A person in a red and blue dress walked into the room. She wore a red and blue nurse's cap, and had long silver hair. It flowed all the way down to her ankles. Another notable thing is the fact that she was carrying a jar, but I couldn't see what was in it.
She opened her mouth to speak, but then paused for 5 seconds.
Hello?
She finally said something. "Hello... my name is Eirin."
There we go. So this is Eirin.
Eirin approached me with the jar under her arm. "Your friend here asked us for our help in rescuing you. She also let me try my new medication on her. Unfortunately, it seems to have the opposite effect than intended." as she approached, I could see the object in the jar was a disembodied head.
Eirin seems to be a little off her rocker.
I raised an eyebrow "ok, thanks for helping us. What's the catch?"
Eirin stepped back as though offended. "Whaaat? No catch. I just request you pay this bill." she held up a slip of paper with some numbers. And words on it.
Let's see... 10,000,000 Yen! That's insane!
My eye was twitching "ten thousand Yen! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Eirin directed my eyes to the bottom of the paper."...no! I am not signing away myself as an anytime donor either!"
As she took the paper away, another rabbit girl entered the room. She was much smaller than Reisen, and wore a small pink dress. Unlike Reisen, her ears were neat, and much smaller. Her black hair reached just below her shoulders, and there was a carrot necklace around her neck. "That will be 10,020,000 yen if you want your stuff back."
She held up my metal arm, and spell cards.
I grumbled under my breath."... Fine..."
The little rabbit tossed me my arm and cards. "Your welcome. Anyway, my name is Tewi."
I started strapping my arm on "I'm pretty sure you know who I am."
The little rabbit gave me a peace sign. "Yup, everyone here knows who you are. Just read the paper." Tewi tossed me a newspaper.
"... Goddamnnit Aya!"
The paper described me as an insane person, hell bent on taking over Gensokyo. It says I have an arm that can punch through cement, and ride in a huge moving fortress.
Hey, why aren't you...
"It's ok; we know a lot of those things she writes are lies. Aya is famous for it."
"Well, that's go-"
"Anyway, you have 20 days to repay your debt, otherwise I'll be forced to collect the other way." she held up the jar, and made a slicing motion with her finger at its neck.
Yegh! I held my neck with both my arms.
Eirin pointed out the door. "Now start getting my money." she grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me. "Because if you don't, I have an experiment I'd like to perform on you. I've always wanted to see how a person would react to being spineless.
Chills ran up my still-intact spine. "y-you don't say?" I picked Rumia up and slowly backed away towards the door. "Well I-it's been nice..." I backed away further "umm... bye!" with that, I dashed out the door and into the LT. in about 20 seconds, the engine was warmed up. Steam exploded from the under the machine, and I raced away from the insane doctor's mansion.
As I drove away, I heard Eirin say something "don't forget. If you don't pay your debt, I'll hunt you down..." her voice faded as I drove further away, but it left me with an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I feel like I will see her again, and more likely sooner, than later.
After we were a good 30 miles away from Eirin's mansion, I stopped the Land Train, and picked Rumia up off the floor where I dropped her. I was in such a hurry to get away from Dr. Crazy, that I just dropped Rumia in the middle of the living room.
Sorry Rumia.
I carried her to the bedroom in the back of the RV, careful to avoid her saliva that was drooling all over the floor.
... I'm not cleaning that...
When I got to Rumia's and my bedroom, I turned the crystal doorknob, and opened the door. After it opened, I stood awestruck and dropped Rumia again.
Wow... she made a mess.
Games and controllers were tangled all over the room. I set Rumia down on the bed, and started picking up the mess.
Goddamnnit Flandre Scarlet! You need to pick up your damn messes!
I proceeded to put everything in their proper places. The mess was comparable to the one the US government is in. "ok, super Nintendo games go here, the controllers go in this drawer, untangle these cords, and... And..."
I paused to let beads of sweat roll down my face, and let said face pale. My hairs stood up on end, and I started tensing up. The jewel on my mechanical arm dimmed down to a pale blue. "OH GOOD LORD! I FORGOT FLANDRE!"
My arms started twitching, mechanical or not, at the thought of going back to Dr. Strange's laboratory.
Oh good lord. Why has thou forsaken me?
Real World, USA 4:00 PM
Sweebation's POV
"Ha ha ha ha ha! I am so evil to my OC!" I was having so much fun writing this
"Sam! Quiet down!"
I grumbled under my breath "yes mom..."
I will not stop now! I'm on a roll!
Land Locomotive 10:00 AM
Matt's POV
... Yes, god hates me.
I went back to the wheel of the vehicle, and started it up again. I was mumbling curses under my breath when the huge machine rolled forward, and started its way back to the mansion. At a full speed of 80 mph, we entered the bamboo forest.
I'd better bring the speed down. I don't want to hit a stalk of bamboo. I lowered the speed down to 20 mph to avoid crashing my house. I spent many hours trying to find my way to the mansion. There were many forks in the road, and eventually, I was lost.
Oh, balls. We're lost. During the time I was trying to find my way around the forest, Rumia woke up. I explained what happened to her, but as usual. She just responded by asking 'is that so?' I learned it's best to just go with it. I stopped at another fork in the road to think. While I was stopped, someone knocked on my door.
Oh crap! I hope it isn't one of Eirin's goons.
I opened the door to find a girl with red overalls that were adorned with seals. Under the overall's straps, she wore a white button-up shirt that was spotless. Her hair was long, and if you looked close enough, one could see what looks like white hair, actually has a tint of purple. She wore a red bow in her hair, but it was not as big as Reimu's. Her face was plastered with a blank expression.
I stood there looking at her for a while. "... um, hello? What's your name?"
She stood there like a rock, not moving. She didn't seem to even be breathing. "..."
We both stood there for a good 5 minutes, staring at each other before she finally spoke. "... hi."
I fell forward and hit the ground, then got back up just as fast as I fell. Anime style.
Yay! It lives! Yah da-da-daaa! Daa daa yah, da-daaa! *final fantasy victory fanfare*
After I got back up, I brushed myself off and looked at the, purple-but-only-a-tint-of-it, haired girl. "You're pretty shy, aren't you?" I asked her. She just kept standing there. "COME ON! Why don't you want to talk to me?"
I think that got her attention, because she opened her mouth to inhale a large breath of air, and finally spoke in a complete sentence. "I'm not shy; it's just that I'm curious about that big thing you're in."
Ahhh. I stepped out of the RV, and closed the door. "This is like my house. It's probably a lot like your house, except it moves."
The girl stared in awe at my marvelous creation.
Yes! Bask in my glory. I deserve every bit of praise.
"It doesn't sound too practical."
Again, I lost balance and fell forward. The face hit the ground, and even left an impression. "You make me sad…"
"Yes, you are sad and pathetic."
That was cold.
I got up from the un-forgiving ground, and once again brushed myself off. "Ok, what's your name?"
"Your mother."
Ohhh! Burn! She's a total Prick!
I took a moment to steady myself. "Ok, what's your problem?"
"I don't like you asshole."
My brow furrowed, and I entered pissed off mode. "What the f*** did I ever do to you?"
She hasn't move once since she took her last breath. "Exist."
Wow… I think you just started an unofficial who-can-be-the-biggest-asshole contest with Dan.
I held the bridge of my nose with my thumb, and index finger. "Ok, let's just call a truce. Could you just help me find the mad doctor's mansion?"
She stepped forward, and smiled. "Ok, but first you have to hit yourself."
"What! No!"
"Do it or else you'll be stuck here for a very long time. They don't call this place the bamboo forest of the lost for nothing."
Ugh, fine! Looks like I don't have a choice. I raised my left arm to punch myself in the face.
The girl held up a finger in interjection. "Ah. Ah. Ahh. Your OTHER! Arm."
Oh come on. Really?
I lifted my right arm to punch myself in the face. This is gonna hurt. My arm plowed into my right cheek; and a sickening cracking noise was heard. "OH F***ING S***! JESUS F***ING CHRIST! THAT F***ING HURTS!"
While I caressed my cheek, the girl took the time to whack me over the head with a bamboo stick she found. "Watch your language!"
Why doesn't anyone else run into these problems?
I slowly crawled back into the mobile house. As I clawed my way up the stairs, the girl decided to use me as a doormat. Why me?
She looked around the LT, and nodded while holding her chin. "Not bad for a low level youkai like you."
I got up; and sat in the driver's seat. "I'll take that as a compliment."
I started the huge vehicle, and the steam turbines roared to life. If I used pistons instead of turbines, then this thing would be slow as ass.
I pulled the stick-shift lever, and put it into drive. My hand pulled the throttle lever, and we took off.
A few miles later; I came to a fork in the road, and slowed down. The girl told me to turn right.
She kept giving me directions, and a few minutes later, I decided to strike up a conversation. "So… what's your real name?"
She was silent. I looked back at her to see her staring into my soul with deep, rock-hard eyes.
I thought Weegee was the only one who can give people this feeling.
"… It's Mokou… Fujiwara no Mokou."
I put my eyes back on the road before I hit something. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"*grumble* no…"
Ahhh, good.
About the same time she told me her name, I was able to see the mansion.
"Ok. Let's go!"
I got out of the LT, and walked up to the mansion, gripping my tank spell card in my left hand.
Ok Eirin, I'm coming!
To be continued.
"Is that so?"
Gah! Get back in my story Rumia!
[AN]: Well… that was interesting. Before you hate on me for making Eirin and Mokou out of character, please hear me out. It's not the first time I've made a character ooc. Flandre is a little out of character. It's just that this time, I made it a little more drastic. Oh, BTW. You all notice there aren't as many spelling and grammar errors this time around? You know, how I actually capitalized the first words in the sentences? This is because I finally got MS word installed on my computer. Hooray! Also, sorry about the delay. I know I said I would try to get it out by Tuesday, but the ideas were just not there. After spending some time watching animes, reading other fan fictions, RE-reading some fan fictions, I was inspired to write this chapter. Thank you all for reading.
And Tucker, if you're reading this, then remember: Purple cows fart orange.
Thanks for reading. Until next time peoples.