Chapter 8: In Soviet Gensokyo, Flandre kyuu you!
[AN]: Yay! I've made it to the chapter 8 mark! Honestly, I didn't think that anyone would actually like my fan fiction, but I can see I was proved wrong. To all of those out there that left a review, I thank you. Also, I'm just going to stop the censoring.
We all know where Matt is.
Matt's POV
This is it Luigi! I was at the front door of the mad doctor's house, Ready to take Flandre back.
God! I'm such an idiot! I can't believe I left her behind.
"So, this is the place." Mokou said from behind my shoulder. "I think you can take it from here."
I snapped my body around in shock. "Wait! You're not coming with me!"
Mokou turned around while scratching her neck. "Well, me and one of the inhabitants are not exactly on good terms."
Oh balls…
She started walking away from me, but suddenly stopped and turned around. "Oh and… sorry for making you hit yourself…" she said kind of sheepishly.
Oh? So the beast has a soft side?
I mirrored Mokou's previous action of scratching. "Yeah… it's ok. I'm a very forgiving person."
… Maybe that's why everyone is picking on me.
I turned back around and walked up the stairs. As I went up to the door, I felt that something was off.
I knocked on the door, and waited for someone to open it. But instead, it just creaked open by itself.
I stepped inside and shouted "HELLO! IS ANYONE HOME?"
WTF am I doing! I don't want them to know I'm here.
I walked cautiously through the mansion. Much of the furniture was destroyed, and it looked like a battle had taken place. I was in what I assume was a foyer. It was tiled with white tiles; that were polka-dotted with burn marks, and two doors on either side of a grand staircase. There were two ordinary-looking doors on a second floor balcony, and two on the first floor. In the center of the balcony, there was a grand double-door.
All of a sudden, I heard an explosion. It came deep within the mansion.
What was…? OH SHIT!
I started running back to the door. Eirin must've gotten a missile launcher! I'm gonna dieee!
I pulled on the door handles, but they wouldn't open. What the hell?
I tried busting through the door with my mecha arm, but to no avail. *BOOM!* Aaand~ there's another explosion… open! C'mon, open! After trying to ram the door down like a football player, I paused to think. I spit into both my hands, rubbed them together, and then held them out in front of myself. In a commanding voice, I boomed "OPEN SESAME!"
…
Good thing no one was around to see that. After looking like a complete retard, I began to think: what the hell is that door made of?
As soon as I thought that last thought, my vision faded into a monochrome scheme. The door looked like it was on a drafting board, and I could see the measurements, and designs.
What the hell just happened? Better not question it if it's going to help me.
According to the schematics, the hinges were made of a weaker alloy than the door.
Perfect, so if I just apply the right pressure here…
*clank*
I mentally patted myself on the back "huzzah! The door has been-"
*BOOM*
My personal fanfare was cut off by an explosion, in which Eirin, Reisen, and Tewi flew out a grand double door up on the second floor. They tumbled down the stairs, and a three of them face planted in a neat row at my feet. Reisen was to my left, Tewi was to my right, and Eirin had a glorious face plant right in-between my two feet.
Wha?
Eirin, Reisen, and Tewi shot up from the ground and ran behind me.
I looked behind me at the shaking trio. "What's going-"
Eirin interrupted and started shaking me "Y-you have to stop her! She's gone mad!"
I was starting to feel sick "WhAt, WhO hAs GoNe MaD?" I said with my voice modulation changing due to the violent shaking.
Eirin let go of me and Reisen shoved her out of the way. "Your friend, Flandre. She is destroying the mansion!" what? Flan wouldn't do that.
*whack!*
Eirin whacked Reisen over the head with a leek. Where did she… my incomplete thought was cut off by Eirin beating Reisen with it.
"Don't. In. Ter. Rupt. Me!" Eirin fumed while whacking Reisen with every syllable. She turned back to me with sad eyes. "Look what she did to the princess." Eirin held up the severed head of a long-haired girl.
Oh my god! They killed the princess! You bastards!
I snapped out of my reference filled thoughts. I was still feeling kind of sick. "What do you want me to do about it?"
Tewi screamed: "CALM HER DOWN!"
I thought about this for a second. "No."
Eirin jumped up in surprise "WHAT! Why not!"
I deadpanned. "Because you want to see how I would react to being spineless."
A vein pulsated on Eirin's head "fine! If you calm her down, then I will consider your debt paid back."
"Ok" and with that accomplished, I flew up to the door to find Flan.
After I went through the door, I was in a dark hallway. There were many doors to the right and left, with no end in sight. Damn. Doesn't this mansion have any lights?
I traveled down the hallways, and as I flew, I could hear the insane laughter of a little girl.
What the hell happened to Flan?
I kept traveling down the hallway until an explosion stopped me.
*BOOM*
Flandre zipped out of the newly made hole in the floor. She held her hand out in front of me "kyuu!"
About half a second later, the space I was previously occupying was engulfed in a fiery explosion.
Flandre's head hung over her shoulders like a hanged marionette, and was tilting slightly to the right. Her hair was dirtied with blood, or at least that was the only place I could see it, and her wings were glowing brightly.
…oh fuck.
As I completed that last thought, she charged at me.
Outside world, Bright, colorful, and cheery place. 9:00 PM
Dan's POV
Yich! So. Many. Colors… too. Colorful.
After I took Maria to a park, I took her to a carnival, and the place looked like a rainbow had thrown up all over it.
Ugh, it makes me so fucking sick, I think I'm going to hurl.
Maria went off to ride some roller coasters, while I sat on a nearby bench. By the time she ran out of tickets, I was cringing at the lights.
"Ok Maria, it's time to go." I said while hiding my disgust
"But I want to keep riding." She said in a disappointed tone.
"It's late." I deadpanned.
"fine." She sighed in defeat.
As I took Maria back to my car, I couldn't help but notice some men in black coats staring at me.
Ah! It's the government. I can't trust them!... and they are probably after me.
I started my car, and observed the man in black get in their car. This will be troublesome.
As soon as I pulled out of the parking lot, I gunned it.
The black car completely matched the owner's black suits. It took off after us. Now I knew they were after us.
"Dick fucker!" their car was gaining on me.
As I swerved in-between other cars on the same road, Maria was pinned to the back seat. "Daaan~. Slow down. You're scaring me."
"Sorry Maria, I can't! Those people back there want to do bad things to us."
I continued to race down the road. "Dick shit! I can't fucking lose them!"
Eventually, I came to a draw-bridge. It was rising slowly. Perfect! And so cliché!
I slammed the gas down, and made the jump. Maria was screaming the whole time, until we landed on the other side.
Wow! I didn't really think that would work.
The Black car wasn't so lucky, and missed their landing. The car plummeted into the river, and slowly floated away.
I smirked "come on Maria. Let's go home." I drove back to my alley while Maria sat petrified in the back of the car. "I think I finally came up with a plan to get rid of Matt. Revenge is so fucking sweet!" Maria didn't respond.
DarkMansion Hallway
Matt's POV
Holy shit! Why would Flandre attack me like that?
I tried to reach out to her. "Flan, it's me, Matt."
My attempt was met by an explosion where my legs were a microsecond ago.
Well, maybe I can snap her out of it with a hard hit to the head. I flew up to where she was, stumbling in the air a couple times. She watched with amusement, as I struggled in the air
"What wrong? Playing you don't want with me to?" she said as her head tilted to the left.
I responded to her question by holding out my right arm, and letting out a huge explosion.
*BOOM*
As the dust cleared, I saw Flandre staring at me with those soul-piercing bright red search lights.
"Mine turn."
Oh shit!
Flandre charged at me with claws outstretched, while I retreated into one of the rooms in the hallway. She kept chasing me, and if someone was watching this with the Benny hill music playing, it would be fucking hilarious.
In that door, out this door, through that door, down this hallway, out that door, through this door, down that hallway. The chase was lengthy; spanning a good 30 minutes.
By the time Flandre had chased me back to the foyer, I was exhausted. You know, what caused her to flip out in the first place?
I flew down the stairs, and made a B-line for the door. Unfortunately, an explosion caused me to lose my balance, and face plant into the floor about 2 feet away from the front door.
So. Close…
"Taboo: Lævateinn!"
She held her twisted rod out in front of herself, and a huge blade of fire erupted from one of the tips.
Ut-oh.
"Fun it was played with breaking you." One of her eyes was twitching.
What happened? Is she Yoda now?
I crawled outside the mansion where Rumia was awake, and talking with Eirin, Reisen, Tewi, and this other girl that had long black hair.
Hey, isn't that the girl who's head was severed?
I raced over to the group. "Eirin! What happened to her? Why is she like this?" I said as I raced over to the group.
Eirin stopped talking with Reisen, and turned to me. "I think it may be a side effect from the medicine I gave her earlier. Now go away. I'm having a conversation." Eirin turned back to Reisen "so anyway, this medicine is supposed to increase the rate your hair grows.
Rumia flew up into Eirin's face "is that so?"
I stood up and put on my angry face "I'm in there risking my life, and you're just having a friendly conversation out here like nothing important is happening."
Eirin threw the annoying darkness youkai at me and deadpanned back to me. "There isn't anything important happening."
That was cold.
*BOOM*
Flandre used her Lævateinn to cut a huge hole in the wall. The group of 4 people that were taller than 4 feet jumped and ran into my house. Followed by a scrambling Rumia; who literally ran me over to get away from the raging vampire.
Looks like I have no choice. I took out a spell card and declared "Metal sign: Blade of Revolution!" just like last time, a blade thrusted out from the jewel on the back of my hand. It started strobeing multiple colors extremely fast.
I held my blade in a defensive position, and smirked. "Enough cowering. HAVE AT YOU!"
Unknown POV
Unknown location
Oh, I see Matt is progressing very well. This battle will be the test to see if he's ready. Although, maybe I tweaked Flandre's sanity a little too much.
I sat watching Matt's battle with Flandre in a hidden location.
This is why my gaps are sooo useful. I can spy on anyone. I didn't think Matt would be able to defeat Flandre, but maybe he could outlast her temporary insanity.
I wish you luck, my plans depend on it.
Outside Einitei
Matt's POV
Flandre charged at me, and I held my blade up to parry her sword. I blocked her sword, but I didn't anticipate the danmaku that would form in its trail.
"GAH!" I remembered how the bullets burned like hell.
After she knocked me to the ground, she held a card out in front of her face. "Taboo: four of a kind!" as soon as she declared, her body split into four Flans wielding four leviathans.
Shit.
I started running away at this point, because they were swinging the flaming swords like mad. The flaming swords were catching more and more bamboo stalks on fire with every swing.
This is insanity.
I dodged another slash, and parried another immediately afterward. "Jeez Flan! Calm down."
All of the clone's heads twisted around until I heard four sickening cracks. In unison they said "I down calm for kyuu you!"
I'll interpret that as something like: I'll calm down after I kill you.
I dodged another sword strike, and tried to get the nearest Flandre with my sword. She tried to parry it with her sword, but the gargantuan blade could not be turned around in time.
I drove my blade into her chest, but it made no wound. The clone let out a glass-shattering shriek, and poofed into a scarlet mist.
One down!
Two of the other clones charged at me at once. Being much weaker than my opponents, they were able to back me into a corner.
I tried to use my blade to shield me from them as much as possible, but after about 5 swings from them, my blade broke, thus ending my spell card.
I started trying to dig through the floor, when a card in my pocket started glowing. I took it out, and saw that the card was my tank card. But the picture on the card had changes from a mark 1 tank, to one of a tiger. Not the tank, but the actual cat. Under the image, the words: level 2, could be seen.
All right. I declared my spell card "Machine sign: Metal monster!"
A bright flash of light occurred under my feet, eventually blinding me and the 3 Flandres.
"Gah!"
As the light dimmed down, I could see I was standing on top of a king tiger tank!
Oh fuck yeah! I climbed into the hatch, closed it, and started the tank. When I started it, the 700 horsepower engine roared to life.
This is kinda ironic. Yaknow, I'm originally American… and I'm driving a German tank… and I was around during the war… yeah.
It wasn't until I started turning the turret towards Flandre that I saw she had been pelting the tank with danmaku this whole time, and there weren't even any scratches.
Hahahaha! You can't hurt me! I'm too cheap!
I fired a shell from the cannon, which moved kinda slowly. But after 3 seconds, it exploded into hundreds of danmaku particles.
Of course, Flandre wasn't expecting the sudden explosion, so the bullets took out the other two Flandre clones, and knocked the real one back.
She got up and rubbed her gut where here was a burn mark. "Owww, why you do that!" she shouted in her weird speech pattern.
I opened the hatch to speak to her. "Because you needed to be taught a lesson." I replied to her question.
"But hurt it does!" she said angrily. She fired some large orb of danmaku aimed at my head. It flew at lightning speeds, and was trailed by smaller danmaku orbs that spread out at random. She held out a card, and declared it. "Forbidden barrage: catadioptric!"
Oh shit! Bad Idea! Why would I ever think it's a good idea to stick my head out of my nice, safe tank?
I closed the hatch to the tiger, and let the front of the hull take the hit. I fired a couple more blasts out of the 88mm cannon, but after I fired the 4th round, a card appeared in front of my face. Within the dark chamber, I declared it. "Tank sign: war-zone!"
After I declared, the cannon started firing more rapidly, and the pattern was more organized. The coaxial machine gun also started firing small danmaku in a zigzag pattern, while the gun mounted on the hull did the same thing, but moving in the opposite direction.
Flandre kept firing her orbs, and I was just letting the front hull take the damage. She seemed to just be ignoring all of my shots that hit her.
How can she just brush danmaku off like nothing?
After about 5 minutes, both of our spell cards timed out at the same time. Flandre's clothes were in tatters, and there were many burn marks on the front of my tank. There were even some spots where the heat had started to melt the armor.
Flandre was struggling to stay in the air, and the tank's fuel meter was nearing empty. I opened the hatch once again, and panted "had. *gasp* enough. *pant* yet?" I struggled to say the words.
It seemed that even though the tank was a separate machine, it uses my energy to sustain itself. I wasn't getting tired until the meter hit a quarter tank.
I guess I should've picked that up. After all, the meter is labeled energy core instead of fuel, or gas.
I prepared to fire at Flandre again, when all of a sudden, the tank's engine stopped. At the same time, my right arm stopped moving.
What the hell? I can't move my mech-arm!
After the tank stopped, it started deconstructing itself. After a part detached itself, it would dissolve into thin air. As my one hope for survival dissolved into nothingness, I put on my best rage guy face. "FFFFFUUUUUUU-."
"Now you be powerless! You no had big destroying thingy!" Flandre interrupted my rage. She held her palm out towards my chest, and started laughing manically. "MWAHAYAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!"
I felt a weird sensation coming from my chest. It felt like someone was holding your insides, and rolling them around.
I looked to my right, and saw Rumia watching the scene.
Oh… I wish she didn't have to see this.
I started to say something to Rumia "I-", but Flandre clenched her hand into a fist, and everything went black.
Outside Einitei, 30 minutes earlier
Rumia's POV
I was listening to this weird bunny girl, doctor lady, and this person dressed in pink talk. I didn't really understand what they were talking about, but I was very bored.
The doctor lady held up a glass thing with a liquid inside it, and showed it to the bunny girl. "So to isolate the X gene and… blah blah blah blah."
The doctor lady started talking in some foreign language. As she was talking, Matt crawled out of the mansion. I smiled and waved at him, but he didn't seem to notice.
Matt got up and ran over to us with a panicked expression. "Eirin! What happened to her? Why is she like this?" he said while running up to the doctor.
The doctor, whose name is Eirin stopped talking to the bunny girl, and turned to face Matt "I think it may be a side effect from the medicine I gave her earlier. Now go away. I'm having a conversation."
Humph! No one can be like that to Matt! Eirin looked very uncaring as she turned back to the bunny girl. "So anyway, this medicine is supposed to increase the rate your hair grows."
I thought this was my chance to butt in on Eirin's conversation for being mean to Matt. I flew up into Eirin's face, and said "is that so?"
I was smiling my toothy grin at Eirin, and she looked like she was ready to kill me.
Matt also seemed to be pretty angry. "I'm in there risking my life, and you're just having a friendly conversation out here like nothing important is happening."
Eirin picked me up, and hurled me at Matt. I was so surprised by her doing this, I didn't even resist. After I flew into Matt's face, I looked up to see Eirin shoot a dirty look at Matt. "There isn't anything important happening." She said just like the Red white does sometimes.
*BOOM*
A large explosion threw lots of dust up in the air. After it cleared, I saw Flandre standing there with a huge fire sword.
What happened to Flandre? She used to be so nice. She even paid for my dinner once.
I forgot that I was on top of Matt when my survival instincts kicked in, and I started running away. After I found a nice safe rock to hide behind, I saw Matt draw a spell card, and declare it. "Metal sign: Metal monster!" a bright light blinded me, and hurt my eyes. I engulfed myself in a ball of darkness while I waited for them to heal.
I listened to the sounds of battle for about 20 minutes until my eyes healed. When I took down my barrier of darkness, I heard Matt scream. "-"
Flandre interrupted him, and said "now you be powerless! You no had big destroying thingy!" She held her palm out towards Matt, and started laughing like a crazy person. "MWAHAYAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!"
Matt looked into my eyes, and they dimmed down their usual glow.
He opened his mouth to say something "I-"
*BOOM*
He was cut off by an explosion.
"NOO! MATTHEW!"
Unknown location
Matt's POV
Ugh, not again. What happened?
"U-fu-fu-fu-fu! You suffered quite a beating."
I recognize that voice! I opened my eyes, and shot up. I was in a house. It looked like a modern house. I was laying down on a queen-sized bed, and a very familiar woman dressed in purple was looking at me.
She smiled at me. "I thought you'd never wake up."
Oh noes! How long was I asleep? "How long was I asleep?" I shouted at her.
She pulled out a paper fan and covered her mouth with it. "About 3 hours."
Oh… the way you said it, I thought I had been knocked out for like 2 weeks. You must be very impatient.
I rolled out of bed. "So… Yukari, what do you want?"
Yukari continued to hide half of her face behind her fan. "Well… I was watching you during your battle with Flandre, and I think I can clarify as to why your machines stopped working."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
…
…
"So, why?"
Yukari put her fan away. "Well, even though you can't do anything without them, they still run purely on your energy core. If it runs dry, then all of your machines will stop working."
"So, does that mean I don't have an energy core anymore?" I asked with a worried tone of voice.
Yukari took her fan back out. "Fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu. No you do have one; you just can't use it right now."
Ok, you're starting to piss me off.
"How can I get it to work again?"
Yukari hid her face behind the fan all the way. "Good things come to those who wait."
My eye was twitching; I was starting to get angry. "WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN YOU BLOODY WANKER?" I screamed.
Yukari was giggling behind her fan. "Technically, I can't-"
My anger reached its breaking point. I closed my eyes and screamed "I KNOW ALREADY YOU FUCKING TROLL!" when I opened my eyes, Yukari had her fan put away, and was wearing a trollface mask.
…
…
"Problem officer?"
I think I had vented my rage enough. "Ok, sorry for yelling at you."
Yukari put the mask away. "You know, it's not wise to yell at a person who can send you to the center of the sun on a whim." She took out her fan again as she said this.
I tensed up a bit, and went wide eyed. Ok, I respect Yukari starting riiiiiight… now!
I eased up a bit. "Yeaaahhh, so why didn't you?"
Yukari put away her fan, and giggled to herself. "Fu-fu-fu-fu-fu. My plans won't be any good if you're dead. I just saved your life."
I put a confused look onto my face. "What plans?" I said out of curiosity.
Yukari hung upside down in one of her gaps. "Oh, you'll just have to find out. I'll tell you when you're ready, but in the meantime; it looks like the maid is looking for Flandre. Once she finds her, she will capture her and bring her back to the scarlet devil mansion." Yukari explained what was going on.
"Why should I care about that? She jut tried to fucking kill me!" she whacked me on the head with her fan. "What the hell was that for?"
She gave me a frustrated expression. "Watch your language! Flandre has been crying for the past two hours. She couldn't control herself."
Aww, now I feel bad.
I looked up, and held my chin high. "Your right! I've gotta stop that from happening."
"Good; your energy core should be recharged at dawn tomorrow." Yukari opened a gap, and sent me back to the bamboo forest.
I dropped down in front of Rumia, and she hugged me. Her eyes were watering as she said, "I thought you were dead, and after Flandre realized she killed you, she has been crying in the bathroom ever since."
I felt a little disturbed at what Rumia said for some reason.
I smiled "it's ok, I'm fine. I was able to get out in time."
Rumia hugged me tighter "I thought you were really dead!"
I think you already told me.
I hugged her back. "Well, someone saved me. But that someone told me that someone else is coming to take Flandre away. We have to hurry."
Rumia looked up at my face. "Right."
She let go of me, and we ran over to the LT.
To be continued.
[AN]: sorry it took longer than usual to get this out. I had a really hard time writing the fight scene with Flandre. Danmaku fights are hard to write; almost as hard as the games themselves. I really want to thank you guys for reviewing. Your reviews are what make me want to go on writing this.
BTW, if anyone has any good ideas for the plot, I'd love you to send me a PM. It's not that I'm running out of ideas, it's just that I'd love to hear how you guys think this story should go.
Also, Yukari is the biggest troll in Gensokyo. Possibly the whole world PERIOD! Also, I love the trollface video. If you don't know who trollface is, then look up "coolface" on youtube. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day.
...
…
It'll be ok, just put on your cool face.