Chapter Four
Edward enters the bookstore and the smile he was already wearing at seeing the two beautiful faces that have changed his life spreads wider across his face. Because he sees another familiar sight.
Hiding his gifts behind his back, he approaches the table. "Well, what is this?"
"Edward!" Lily exclaims with a 'You're silly' glare, "You know what it is!"
"I know what it is, yes... it's hot chocolate, but I don't know how much. Or if I have enough money for a cup."
"You'd have enough money for all of the cups if they weren't free. You're rich!"
"Lily!" Bella rushes to her daughter's side with wide eyes. "That is not an appropriate thing to say."
Wide eyes that narrow as Edward laughs, having become quite accustomed to the little girl's observances.
"Mom, he's a doctor. Doctors are rich because people give them all of their money to fix stuff that's broken."
"Lily-" she starts again, but Edward comes to her rescue.
"We don't take all of their money. Sometimes we don't take any at all."
"You didn't take mine," Lily agrees with a smile, leaning her head against her mother's side. "But you fixed everything."
"I certainly tried my best," he beams back.
"You're the best doctor in the whole world. Would you like some hot chocolate now?"
"I would love some."
He watches as she carefully pours him a cup, and then his eyes follow her tiny hands to the tongs and canister of miniature heart-shaped marshmallows. "No wishes this time?" he asks, hopeful, and fairly certain that her answer will be more than a simple 'It's Valentine's Day'.
"No... these aren't cups full of wishes. They're cups full of wishes come true."
"I like those," he tells her, his heart melting.
"Me too," she says, looking up at her mother as her hand strokes her hair.
"And I like your red ribbon," he says, watching Bella's gentle movement with fascination.
"Thank you. It's red for Valentine's Day. My dress, too."
"Well, you are by far the prettiest little Valentine I've ever seen."
"Thank you." She blushes and turns her attention back to his cup. "How many wishes come true do you want?" she asks, readying her tongs but not looking at him.
He crouches down, bending his head until he meets her down-turned gaze, touched by her sudden shyness. "I want three."
She looks up at him with a smile that could light up a thousand worlds, calming his fear that one of his gifts for her may not have been the right choice.
"Three is my favorite number," she says, dropping three hearts into his steaming cup.
"Mine too," he agrees, flashing a love-filled glance at Bella, whose eyes are glistening with tears as she watches their exchange.
"Aren't you going to drink it?" Lily asks after a moment, because Edward still hasn't moved. And still hasn't taken his hands from behind his back.
"I am if you help me with something," he tells her.
"Help you with what?"
"My hands are full."
"I can't see them. What are they full with?"
He pulls them suddenly from their hiding place behind him in an answer to her question. In one hand is a bouquet of yellow sweetheart roses, and in the other two frilly, tissue-stuffed heart-covered gift bags.
"Are those for me and Mommy?" she asks excitedly.
"No, just for you. I was going to give them to you later, when I gave your mommy hers, but I heard you dumped me for another date."
"I would never do that," she says, shaking her head emphatically. "But Grandpa doesn't have a valentine... and you have Mommy, so I said I'd be his so he's not all alone."
"I think that's very sweet. And that your Grandpa is the luckiest man in the whole world to have you for a valentine."
"He's the second luckiest man in the whole world," she giggles, grabbing her mother's hand.
"I think it's a tie," he says, "And that my cup full of wishes come true is going to get cold if you don't take your presents so I can drink it."
She takes the bouquet of little yellow roses from him with her free hand and brings the blooms to her nose. "Yellow is my favorite color."
"I know," he says with a wink, "Sometimes I don't have to guess."
She sets the flowers gently on the table and walks around it, pulling her mother with her. When she's next to Edward, she asks, "You only need one hand to drink your hot chocolate, right?"
"Yes," he says with a nod.
"Good," she giggles, guiding her mother's hand from hers into his and taking the bags from his other. "Which one should I open first? The big one or the little one?"
"It's up to you," he says, taking a sip of the warm chocolate and squeezing Bella's hand.
She chooses the smaller of the two, pulling out the tissue and then a slim velvet box. Her eyes sparkle and she gasps with sweet delight as she opens it to find a silver bracelet nestled inside. She lifts it from its velvet bed and holds it in the air, mesmerized by the single charm that dangles from it, a red jewel heart.
"Mommy!" she exclaims excitedly, "It's a red diamond!"
"I see that," Bella says, touching the jewel and raising a brow at Edward.
"It's called a ruby," he says, pretending not to see the silent scold. "Do you like it?"
"Oh, yes!" she squeals. "I've never had a red diamond ruby before! It's the prettiest one in the whole world! Thank you!"
"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."
"I don't like it, I love it! And it matches my fancy dress! Will you put it on me?"
"I would be honored to put it on you."
"Now, Lily," Bella says as her daughter holds out her wrist and Edward clasps the bracelet around it, "I know you like your present, and you can wear it today, but that's a very special bracelet, and you need to be very careful when you wear it."
"I know."
"It's not like the ones in your dress up box. It-"
"I know, Mommy. It's not to play with. It's real. And special. I'll be very careful."
"I just want you to understand, sweetheart."
"I do. Edward gave me his heart. And I won't ever break it."
"You stole my heart, Lily," he declares, kissing the child's cheek.
"I did not!" she giggles. "I don't steal! Stealing is bad!"
"Oh yes you did. I think I'm going to have to tell your grandpa to lock you up."
"Grandpa only locks me up in hugs!"
"That's because you stole his heart, too. And hugs are the punishment for little girls who do that."
"And grown ups," she says, wrapping her little arms around the one who stole hers. And her mother's...
And made her greatest wish come true.
…
CFoW
…
"Thank you, Edward. This was the perfect Valentine's Day."
"So, does that mean I'm not in trouble?" he asks, blowing out the candles from their intimate dinner he prepared.
"That was a very expensive gift for a little girl."
"Perhaps... but she's not just any little girl. And she's far older than her years, but you know that already. Both of those things."
She nods helplessly, because she certainly does, and lets Edward lead her to his living room, their glasses of wine in one hand and hers in the other.
"Now, I know you said that this was the perfect Valentine's Day, and I'm flattered, but it's not over. You get comfortable and I'll be right back."
He slips her heels off of her feet with a smile and rushes from the couch and up the staircase, her eyes following him until she can't see him any longer.
She takes a sip of her wine, trying to calm the nervousness that's creeping up on her, but he's back just as quickly as he went, and the nervousness falls away the same.
"What are those?" she asks, sitting down her glass, eyeing the two beautifully wrapped gift boxes he returned with.
"Your presents."
"But you already gave me presents. And made me a wonderful dinner... "
"Dinner, flowers, and candy don't count."
"They did to me."
"Well, I'm glad they did, and thank you, but you still have presents to open."
A warmth touches her skin, because though she already gave him his gift - a very rare and special book - she, too, has another gift she wants to give him. And as the warmth spreads, she can only hope it isn't written all over her face.
"Which one should I open first?" she asks, repeating Lily's words from earlier in the bookshop. "The big one or the little one?"
"I'd like you to open the little one first," he says, wondering at the flush on her cheeks, and feeling some nervousness of his own. Nervousness she sees.
"Okay," she says in a whoosh of breath, taking the small box from his hand.
She unties the elegant white bow, willing her fingers not to tremble, and sets it on the table in front of her, then tears off the red foil paper. When she pulls off the lid of the box, she finds a slim red velvet one inside.
She looks up at him before she opens it, and can't help but smile at the anticipation lighting his brilliant green eyes. "Are you going to be in trouble again?" she asks him with a playful raise of her brow.
"I hope not," he says, an innocent smile forming on his mouth.
An innocent smile that tells her he absolutely is, or would be, if everything he did didn't melt her heart.
She opens the box with held breath, but nothing could have prepared her for what she finds inside. On a delicate silver chain is an extraordinary solid diamond heart.
"Edward... "
"Lily isn't the only thief around here, Bella."
She touches her fingertip to the precious stone. "I'm glad she's not."
"I'm glad you're glad."
"But still, it's-"
"Nothing compared to what it will give you. My heart... if you accept it."
"Of course I'll accept it. Your heart... both of them."
"Can I put it on you?" he asks, too excited to wait for her to ask him to.
"Yes. I would very much like you to."
He takes the necklace from the box, holding it in position as Bella turns and lifts her hair, and then places a tender kiss on the back of her neck before clasping it around her.
He hears her sharp intake of breath at his touch, and sees the tiny hairs stand against her pale skin and it fills him with a fierce sense of longing. These past several weeks with Bella have brought him back to life in every way, and he's happier than he ever could have dreamed of being again, but resisting his building desire for her has been a painful struggle.
Their moments alone are few, and even when they are, they're never completely. There's always a little angel sleeping just a staircase away, or giggling at the top of it, to remind him of how careful he needs to be with this woman he wants to give everything to.
This woman he wants to love in every possible way.
This woman who once was by another, before it was cruelly ripped away from her.
This woman whose strength he admires, and whose fragility he cherishes.
He knows he's not alone...
Not in his feelings for her and not in his want to feel more...
He feels her struggle every time she tears herself away from his kiss.
Hears it in her breathless whimpers as she pushes him regretfully away...
And sees it in her eyes as she pulls him back for more before she pushes him out the door.
Her door that just a night ago he stood with his forehead rested against as she stood just the same way on the other side of it.
Struggles separate yet shared. Like now...
When he slowly drops his hands from her delicate neck.
When she lets her hair fall back around her shoulders like a curtain of silk.
Between them.
Like the curtain of respect he envelops her in as he turns her to face him.
And his heart, that beams brilliantly before him. And inside of as she looks down at it and then up at him with pride at being given such a gift.
"Thank you," she whispers quietly, "For wanting to give me something so precious."
"Thank you for accepting it," he whispers back, with a pride all his own.
She smiles, a slight tremble touching her lips, and then leans forward to brush them softly against his for just a moment. "You gave me no choice."
"I'm glad I didn't."
"I'm glad you're glad."
"I'm glad you're-"
"Me too."
"Here. I was going to say here."
"I know."
"I'm glad you do. I want you to."
"So am I. And do."
"And there's something else I want you to know, Bella... if... "
"If... ?"
"If it's okay for me to want you to. Know something else."
"Well, I think if there's something you want me to know, then it's okay for me to know it. And for you to want me to."
"You think that?"
"I do."
"I'm really glad you do, Bella."
She waits patiently for him to tell her what that something else is, but he's quiet, and simply picks up the unwrapped gift and puts it in her hands between them.
"Is this the something else?" she asks, her eyes bright with curiosity.
"Call it a choice," he answers, his own eyes heavy with hope.
And she sees that... has to tear hers away from it to focus on the gift in her hands. One she opens so slowly and carefully that he thinks he may burst before she's finished.
But then she is. And he's still in one piece, as she looks down at two. Two pieces of soft cotton, black with hundreds of pink and red hearts.
"Pajamas," she says with a smile. "Very sweet ones at that."
"Well, you don't have any... here... and I didn't want you to have that as an excuse to say no to my question."
"A question that's really just something you want me to know?"
"Something like that."
"Then tell me."
"Well, questions are supposed to be asked... "
"Tell me, Edward."
"I want you to stay here with me, Bella. And that doesn't mean I'm asking you for something else... it just means I don't want this perfect day to end. Separate from you."
"The last time you asked me to stay here with you, we weren't alone."
"I know."
"But this time... "
"We are. I know. And I know that that might be-"
"Even more perfect."
"It might?"
"It is."
"Does that mean yes, Bella? You'll stay with me?"
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes, Edward. And these pajamas are a really sweet gift...and you're even sweeter for giving it to me... but the sweetest thing of all... is that you called it a choice... this gift... so, I'd like to make one. If that's okay?"
"Of course it is. And you staying here with me is what I wanted most. It really doesn't matter to me where that is, as long as it's here... "
"Edward?"
"Yes, Bella?"
"Shut up."
"Okay," he laughs. "I'm sorry, I'm just happy."
"Well, I'm glad that you're happy... but I think I could make you even happier."
"You do. Everyday."
"I'm glad I do, Edward... but this is night... and I know I don't always make you happy on those."
"Only because you make me leave you. And because sometimes you push really hard when you shove me out the door."
"I'll try to be more gentle next time."
"Thank you."
"But not this time if you don't shut up."
He slaps his hand over his mouth with a laugh, because he just might not be able to help himself if he doesn't.
But that's the last thing that Bella wants...
"No, Edward. I want you to listen, and not talk, just for a minute... but then I'm going to hope that that sweet mouth of yours isn't covered up."
He drops his hand quickly, and with a boyish grin on his face, and it's him who waits patiently now for this woman to make him happier than he already is, though he doesn't think it's possible.
Something that Bella sees in every possible way he could show her...
Except for one.
"Yes, I will stay here with you. But with you is where I want to be. And I love the choice you gave me... but I'd like to save it for another night, if that's okay? Because the only thing I want to wear on this one... is you. And your heart."
"Me? And my-"
"Yes. You. And yours. Unless you don't-"
He kisses her before she can say another word.
Because she wanted his mouth... that she called sweet...
And because he does... want...
Her. So much.
And to give her everything. Love her in every possible way...
Here. Where she wants to stay. And prove him wrong.
Show him that he could be happier. Show him that she wants to make him, and herself, if he'll only accept it.
A choice he doesn't have to make, because it was made for him the first time he looked into her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes that he looks into now. Sees that precious fragility in, that replaces the strength she showed him moments ago.
"There's no rush," he tells her. "We have time."
"All night... " she agrees, a hint of pink settling over her cheeks.
"Much longer than that," he says, unable to not. "I hope."
…
CFoW
…
"Mommy?"
"Hi, my beautiful girl. How are you? Is something wrong?"
"No, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to say goodnight."
"Well, I'm so happy you did. Did you have fun with Grandpa?"
"Yeah. We went to a fancy restaurant for dinner. And I ordered a hamburger. And I got mad because I wanted it to look like a heart and it didn't. And I think Grandpa got scared... but Rosalie and Emmett were at the restaurant, too, because it's Valentine's Day, and they were on a fancy date. And Rosalie was wearing a fancy red dress like me, and she drew a heart on my hamburger with ketchup and then I wasn't mad anymore and Grandpa wasn't scared. And after dinner we all went together to the ice cream shop for dessert and then me and Grandpa came home. And I put my pajamas on and me and Grandpa played games and I won all of them because Grandpa always cheats and lets me even though he says he doesn't. And now it's time for bed because Grandpa says he's old even though he's not very much. But it's okay because I'm tired even though I'm not old at all and Grandpa said I could call and say goodnight before I go to sleep."
"I love you, Lily."
"I love you too, Mommy."
"And I'm glad you had a good time."
"I'm glad you're glad," she says with a giggle, having heard the words her mother and Edward speak so often to each other many times in recent weeks.
"I'm glad you're mine," Bella giggles back at her observant daughter.
"Me too, Mommy. Sleepovers at Grandpa's are fun, but I miss you."
"I miss you too, sweetheart."
"Are you still on your alone date with Edward?"
"Yes, baby."
"Do you think I could tell him goodnight, too? And then you?"
"Of course you can. Edward, Lily wants to tell you something."
"She does? Hello?"
"Hi, Edward."
"Hi, Lily."
"I'm sorry I'm interrupting your alone date with Mommy, but I wanted to say goodnight before I go to sleep."
"You're not interrupting anything, sweetheart, and you have nothing to be sorry for. I feel very special because you wanted to tell me goodnight."
"You are very special."
"Thank you, Lily. You're very special, too."
"Thank you, Edward. And for my special bracelet. I was very careful with it, and Grandpa helped me take it off and put it in the box until tomorrow when I can wear it again."
"You are very welcome, sweetheart."
"Will I see you tomorrow?"
"If you want to."
"I do."
"And if it's okay with your mommy."
"It will be. She wants to, too."
"I hope so."
"You don't have to hope, I already know she does."
"I like the things you know, Lily."
"Me too. They're special things. Like the other present you gave me. Will you help me with it tomorrow?"
"I would love to."
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow! Goodnight, Edward."
"Goodnight, Lily. Sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams! I'm going to tell Mommy goodnight now and then you can finish your special alone date with her."
"Lily?"
"What?"
"My not-alone dates with her are special, too."
…
CFoW
…
"You're an amazing mother, Bella."
"Thank you."
"And you've raised an amazing child."
"Thank you, Edward. So much."
"And you... well... you... are... "
"Ready for bed."
"Really, really AMAZING."
Bella laughs at Edward's boyish exuberance, willing that laughter to chase her nervousness away.
Nervousness that he feels as he takes her hand in his, and then picks up her pajamas in the other.
"No, Edward... I still don't want them, I just... "
"It's okay, Bella."
"It will be. I know that. I... "
Her unspoken words trail off behind them as he leads her up the long staircase. But return to her as he stops in front of a door that isn't his. The same door that she slept behind the last time she stayed here with him. And her daughter.
"No. Not here. With you, Edward."
"With me? Okay. With me. With me is good. I like with me."
She laughs and he gives her hand a gentle squeeze and leads her with a beaming smile to his bedroom and turns on the light.
"The bathroom's just through there," he tells her, gesturing across the large room, before holding the pajamas out to her. "I'll change in here."
She takes the sweet-intended hearts from him and tosses them across the room where they land in a chair.
"I meant it, Edward. I really don't."
"I'd never push, Bella. I just want you close to me. While I have the chance... "
"I want that, too."
"I'm glad you do, but-"
"No buts. Glad is all I was hoping for. And I am... that you are."
He looks from her face to the chair and back again, greeted by that fragile smile that melts his heart.
And something else. The want he sees every night before he has to leave her with it. And take his own with him.
Want she tells him they don't have to suffer the ache of anymore as she reaches up with trembling fingers to pull his face down to hers.
Want that soars through him as those trembling fingers move to the buttons of his shirt while soft lips plead against his for sweet mercy.
As if he has any choice at all? As if he doesn't plead for the same with every awakened fiber of his being?
His own hands tremble as he slides down the zipper at Bella's back. Then still as her soft lips find the bared-by-her skin of his chest, with a kiss just over his heart.
When she looks up into his eyes, he knows she feels its pounding beat, her now-smiling mouth making it pound even harder.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he asks her, as her dress falls to puddle at their feet.
"No... " she whispers breathlessly as his hands start to move over her skin, " ...but I know how beautiful you think I am. And that's more than I could ever be."
"You couldn't possibly know how much that is... " he tells her, lifting her into his arms, " ...but you will."
…
CFoW
…
Bella hasn't woken in a man's arms since the morning before the night that her husband's were taken from her. Hasn't, and never dreamed she could or would.
Until this morning, when she is. And last night, when she couldn't deny any longer how much she needed to. Wanted to...
Wake in a man's arms.
This man...
Who showed her how beautiful he thought she was. In ways that flush her skin even now. Warm her insides. And melt her heart. Because he was right...
She didn't know how much...
But she does now. She couldn't possibly not.
As she remembers every moment he spent showing her. And feels his hand stroke her hair that lays in a mess of tangled proof across his chest.
"Good morning," she tells him, her voice a quiet whisper against his skin.
"Best morning," he tells her, just like he did on that other. Proof of something else.
Something she couldn't agree more with, and aches to see the truth of in his eyes.
So she raises herself up so that she can see it...
Let it warm her cooled skin - cooled because she took it from his.
And fill her with a sense of peace she thought she'd never feel again.
A belonging.
As his heart dangles between them. Hers... because he gave it to her. Trusted her not to break it.
Knew how much she'd cherish it. Like she knew he would cherish her. Her whole. Her entire.
"It is... almost."
"You're right. There's something missing."
"There is."
"Well, someone."
"Yes. Someone." She tears her eyes away from his smiling face and glances at the clock beside the bed she doesn't really want to leave. "Who will be home in an hour."
"Then, lets get you there. So that I can come and knock on the door after she is. If-"
"You better."
"I will, Bella. You've given me no choice."
xx
I never gave up... and I really hope you didn't. Or think I had. And I promise we'll be knocking on the door much sooner than we did this time. Much, much sooner.