Chapter ⑨: ZA WAURDO!

[AN]: I'm sure you can already guess what this chapter will be about. And no, if you think Dio will actually make an appearance, then you obviously don't know Touhou. But here we go; it's time to start our obligatory ZA WAURDO chapter. Basically, Sakuya's chapter. BTW, thanks for leaving Reviews everyone. I appreciate it, and it really helps motivate me to work on this.

Dan's HQ

Dan's POV

It's been about an hour since we got home. I had to pry Maria off the back seat of my car, because she was terrified ever since I jumped over the bridge.

After I got her claws out of the back seat, she turned into a cat and stayed that way without letting out a sound.

"Come on~ I promise I won't scare you again~." I sung in my cute kitty voice.

Maria just sat in my lap. And gave me a glare that screamed: 'Imma gonna kill u'. The death kitty glare featured a soul piercing stare, accompanied by claws that were bared.

Ok, ok! I'll leave you the fuck alone!

I didn't tell her, but I think she got the message. She let her claws down, got off my lap, and curled up on the chair next to the one I was sitting in.

I bent down to whisper something to her. "I'm-"

*slash*

I was interrupted by the sound of claws slashing flesh. Maria clawed my face out, quite literally.

I got back up, with evident anger in my eyes, but all of a sudden, my anger left, and was replaced by a soft expression. "Awwww~! You're such a cute kitty~~" I said in my usual kitten adoring face.

Outside the room I was in, sounds of hissing, slashing, and me going 'ow' and 'awwww'. Overall, the sound of one pissed off cat could be heard. After 5 minutes of cute kitty, I came out of the room. I was covered in claw marks; many had penetrated the skin, and bite marks.

Totally fucking worth it. Better start taking care of business

I went down to AILC's computer room to check on the project I commissioned from him. I opened the door, and saw AILC playing Warhammer 40k space marine.

I stood shocked for a couple seconds with a loss for words.

AILC's processor started speeding at full capacity, and he closed the window on his screen. "D4N, WH47 4R3 Y0U D0!N6 H3R3?" (Dan, what are you doing here?)

I stood there for a couple more seconds. "A-AILC! Since when do you play games!" I was shocked. AILC was supposed to have artificial intelligence, but not a will of his own.

"50RRY F0R D!554P0!N7!N6 Y0U D4N." (Sorry for disappointing you Dan.) Even though AILC talks in a very robotic voice with no modulation what-so-ever, I could tell he was panicked.

"I-I-I… MARIA!" I screamed. I dashed out of the computer room to the lounge where Maria was curled up.

I fucking told her not to fucking touch my fucking computer!

The doors burst open, and Maria jumped with all the hairs on her back standing on end. I roared "MARIAAAA! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH AILC!"

*BOOOOOOOM*

Before Maria could even respond, a loud explosion could be heard at the other end of the base.

OH SHIT-BITCH!

Maria changed back to her human-like form, and ran behind me. "W-w-wh-whats going on?" she stuttered. Fearful glints were in her eyes, and then her pupils narrowed. "It's them…" she whispered.

I turned to look behind my legs, hair, and gun to meet her eyes. "Just who the shit are they?" I was angry.

'They' must be the people who were chasing us to our hideout. Why didn't she tell me about these people… I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST ANYONE! I screamed in my mind.

Maria started grasping my long hair, and fearfully said "they're the people that were trying to get me. They are the reason I moved to Gensokyo." She started shaking.

But how did they find me...

I snapped back into my logical thought. "Ok Maria! We have to get to AILC's computer room. We can get back to Gensokyo from there."

I grabbed her hand to pull her along, but when I did, she wouldn't let go of my hair, and as a result, pulled it when I pulled her. "YEOOWW!" I exclaimed when my hair was pulled.

Faint voices could be heard. "I think it came from over there."

"I can't believe after 50 years, the subject would resurface."

Oh shit-balls!...

I picked Maria up, and carried her. I was about to turn the door handle when I heard voices on the other side.

Oh cunt!

I ran away from the door, and frantically looked around for someplace to hide.

The door handle creaked.

I thought about it and stuffed Maria into the chimney of the fireplace. "Ahh! Wha?"

I have no choice but to fight them.

The door handle turned.

I grasped my long-sword's handle, and got ready for a fight.

The door flew open, and two people holding rifles loaded with holy rounds stood at the doorway.

They lowered their weapons. "Dan?" one of them asked.

I pulled my hand away from my sword "Randy?"

We took a moment to take in the fact that we were seeing each other for the first time in 50 years.

The third guy looked a little irritated. "Come on! Now is not the time for reunions! He's an enemy now, and we are on a mission.!"

Randy held his rifle back up, and I grasped the handle again. Randy said "I'm sorry I have to do this, but you have betrayed the crusader's order by housing a demon."

I formed my long-sword from the handle. I sprang up like a lightsaber, except instead of the laser sound, it sounded more like a guillotine chopping someone's head off.

I raised my sword, and got ready to defend Maria from the two invaders. Randy and his partner put away their rifles, and took out things that looked even more like lightsabers. In fact, they were lightsabers except the handles weren't as futuristic looking.

Randy looked like he was a little pained. "Sorry Dan."

I raised my sword with the bladed side facing the ceiling. "Pfft! Whatever."

We ran towards each other, and I clashed blades with my fellow immortals.

Matt's POV

Land Train

After I ran into the train, I walked up to the bathroom door. "Flandre… you can come out."

Her sobbing ceased, and the door creaked open. "Matt?..."

I smiled. "It's ok, I'm fine."

"Bu-bu-but-"

I pressed my finger against her lips. "I'm fine. And I know that you didn't mean to. Eirin explained everything."

Flandre stood there speechless for a moment, but then embraced my with a spine-crunching hug. I was shocked, but soon returned the favor.

"I don't want to break you onii-chan*."

Wait, what?

I decided to ignore the name, and after about 1 minute, she let go.

I straightened my collar, and sighed. "We have to get moving. Your maid is coming to get us."

Flandre stood shocked. "You mean Sakuya?"

"Yes, so we have to get going fast."

Flandre realized something. "Wait… who told you this."

Uh-oh, Yukari told me to keep this a secret.

I sweat dropped. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. We have to move." I pretended to ignore her question.

"Is that so?"

Ignore the annoyance.

I jumped into the seat, and started the machine up.

Come on, ugh! Someone remind me not to use steam for these kinds of things. After a good 5 minutes of warming up the boiler, I finally took off.

Right, left, left, right, straight, right. I was picking directions at random. I was just trying to find a way out, with no real destination in mind. I eventually came to a clearing.

Crap, dead end! I stopped the vehicle.

*Pssssssssssttt*

Oh shit.

It sounded like a hiss coming from a punctured tire, and a light on the dashboard confirmed it. I stepped outside, and there was a woman in a French maid outfit. She had three knives in each hand, a white apron, and white hair. Her face showed little to no emotion.

I looked at the right driver's side tire to confirm the puncture. "Geez woman! Don't you know how hard it is to find replacement tires in Gensokyo?" I yelled at her, with my eye twitching at random intervals.

The Maid, Sakuya, still had her emotionless expression as she said. "Well you kidnapped the young mistress."

I raised my voice. "I DIDN'T KIDNAP HER, SHE RAN AWAY AND FOUND ME!" My tone of my voice was at the point where it could be considered a rage scream.

Sakuya brandished her knives. "So does that mean I shouldn't hold you responsible? After all, you did cause large amounts of damage to my lady's mansion." She said with a smirk. "Besides, it's your little friend's fault that the young mistress got out in the first place."

Damn, she's got me there.

I raised my metal arm menacingly. "I don't want to fight you, but I will if I have to."

"It's no use, you are incredibly out-matched, and already weary from your last battle."

She's right. I don't think I can win against her. I pull out my tiger tank card. It's grayed out, which means Yukari was probably right. I won't be able to use my larger machines... Idea, get!

It was my turn to smirk this time. "You're right. I may not be able to defeat you, but I do know someone who can. Flan~" I called out to the interior of the LT.

As soon as I called her name, or... nickname, Flandre came dashing out of the improvised door I made.

Her wings left rainbow trails as she cleared the distance of 100 feet in a matter of milliseconds. "What do you- OH!" Flandre was surprised to see Sakuya here. "Matt~, you said I could travel with you~." She whined.

I didn't take my eyes off Sakuya, or my smirk on my face. "Flan, I'm not letting her take you back home, but I can't fight her. I'm still too weak from my last battle."

Best not to mention the fact that Flandre went berserk and nearly destroyed Eientei.

Flandre fist pumped in the air. "Ok onii-chan, I'll beat her for you!" she said with excitement and hyperness.

Sakuya took a step back. She was obviously nervous, and her emotions were leaking out from behind the wall she built to conceal them. In this case, it was fear. "F-Flandre? Why would you fight me?"

Flandre crossed her arms in a defiant manner. "Because you want to take me away from onii-chan."

She's really sticking to this brother thing.

Sakuya's wall had been brought to the ground. "But I took care of you, a-and always looked out for you."

Flan's expression changed into one of deep sadness. "No... No you didn't. You and onee-chan** kept me locked up in the basement for a long time. I didn't even know what a human was until the red-white and black-white played with me."

Sakuya started panicking. "N-n-no, please. We just wanted to keep you safe!"

Flandre threw her fists down. "NO! You didn't want to keep me safe. You both just wanted to keep everyone else from knowing I exist! And I am also very strong. I don't need to be protected by anyone else."

Sakuya withdrew a little, and regained her calm and elegant composure. She closed her eyes, and started re-constructing her wall brick by brick. "We had to. Otherwise you might've destroyed everything and everyone you saw."

Flandre was barely restraining herself from lunging at the woman and spilling her guts all over the forest. "But I got better after I met the two humans, and onee-chan STILL didn't let me out!"

Sakuya put that blank emotionless expression that defines her status as a slave. "Enough of this! My lady has ordered me to return you to her mansion." The knives in Sakuya's right hand disappeared, and she pulled out a silver timepiece.

Flandre lunged at the Maid while screaming. "DIIIIIEEEEEEE!"

Sakuya flipped open the door of the watch, held down a button on the watch, and yelled "ZA WAURDO!"

Oh my God! Dio-

Dan's HQ (same time as when Sakuya's fight started.)

Dan's POV

Damn! They've both gotten fucking stronger since the last time we met.

I was trying to push back both of their blades at the same time, and I was having a lot of difficulty doing so. Damnnit! All three of us have cursed strength abilities.

After about 5 straight minutes of repelling their glowing blades, I was finally able to return with some attacks of my own. I feigned low, causing my opponent to block down, then suddenly redirected the thrust upward, my opponent moved to evade, but my blade bit deep into the flesh of his armpit, disabling his arm.

I looked him in his eyes. He was going to lose, and he knew it. "Goodbye you little shit!"

I stepped back, ripping my blade out, kicking my opponent back, and then took his head in one clean stroke.

Beheading a crusade immortal; the only way to kill them.

I turned to Randy, driving him back with a rapid series of slashes. Soon my assault pushed him all the way to the computer room.

"Looks like you've gotten a little soft Dan." Randy smirked as he brought his blade down to my head.

I countered it by re-directing his swing to my right with so much force, he lost grip of his handle, and it flew to the right. "I'm not getting soft." I pinned him down and pointed my sword at his neck. "I'm sharper than ever."

Randy looked at me. "h-hey Dan? Why did you leave the order anyway?"

I sighed, and lowered my blade. "Well, if you must know, I didn't like the way they were systematically killing demons. There's no fun in that, it's much more fun to hunt them down..." I just noticed Randy slowly making his way to the door. "Wait a minute! I can't believe it, you got me monologueing!"

Randy snapped to himself. "Damn."

The 3 meter long blade retracted back into the handle, and I put my sword away. "Because of our past friendship, I will spare you. But if I ever catch you trying to harm Maria again…"

I made a slicing motion across my neck with my finger.

"Got it?"

Randy nodded furiously.

"Good!"

The man who I had threatened scrambled to get his beam sword, and run out of the room.

After he was out, I saw AILC's screen flashing red with a warning message. "W4RN!N6, 80M8 D373C73D." (Warning, bomb detected.)

Maria dashed into the room. "Oh no! What are we going to do!"

I gave AILC a command. "AILC, I don't have time to locate and diffuse the bomb, so set the transporter's location to Gensokyo. Anywhere will do."

AILC screen kept displaying the warning message. "0K M4573R, 10C47!0N 537." (Ok master, location set.) The transporter pad lit up, indicating it was ready to go.

AILC displayed a count-down. "73N" (ten)

Maria tugged at my sleeve. "Dan, what will happen to AILC?"

"3!6H7" (eight)

I shooed her away. "He will go down with the rest of the HQ. Don't worry. He's just a computer, he can be replaced."

Maria gasped. "No! No! No! No! He's special!"

"F!V3" (five)

The count-down continued on AILC's screen. "74K3 7H!5 M4R!4. !F Y0U K33P !7, W3 W!11 M337 464!N 50M3D4Y." (Take this Maria. If you keep it, we will meet again someday.

Three

Maria took the object that popped out of AILC.

Two

She shed a single tear and waved goodbye.

One

The transporter sent her on her way to Gensokyo.

Zero

"!-" (I-)

*BOOOOOOM*

Bamboo forest (right before Dan's battle started.)

Matt's POV

-Brando Lives!

In an instant, Flandre was surrounded by several knives, and they all headed straight for her. Sakuya with her straight face said "Don't worry. I'm not using my silver knives." She turned her gaze towards me. "But I wouldn't do the same for any other Youkai."

I gulped.

At this time, Rumia came out of the LT with a cheerful expression. "I'm hungry, and I smell hu-" she was not able to finish what she was saying due to a knife being lodged in-between her eyes.

"Rumia!"

I ran up to her, and saw the knife was not made of silver. Good.

I pulled the knife out of her forehead, and immediately, the wound started healing. "You'll be fine, that wasn't a silver knife."

"Is that so?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes it is so." I pulled her up, and put her in a tight embrace, but not as tight as the one Flandre gave me before.

Not nearly as tight.

I let go of her. "Come on Rumia. We need to join Flandre and teach this shithead a lesson."

Rumia stood puzzled for a moment. "Um, what's a shithead?"

Oh-boy.

Sakuya put some more knives out in front of Flandre. "Come on!. It's time to go home."

Flandre whined "but I don't wanna."

With her child-like nature, one forgets she could rip their head off with little to no effort.

Flandre unleashed a huge danmaku orb that was trailed by smaller ones. It was the same orbs as the ones used in her 'Forbidden barrage: Catadioptric' spell card. "I'm never going home! You and Remi are so mean!" The huge orbs batted away the knife danmaku, and continued on to hit Sakuya.

Sakuya didn't make any effort to dodge the danmaku orb that was three times her size. Instead, she pulled out her pocket watch, and held it in her right hand with a spell card in her left hand. She declared "Illusion World: ZA WAURDO***!"

After she declared that card, half a second later, countless knives appeared and started moving in Random directions. While Flandre weaved and grazed through the knives, her clothes started to get tattered. The process repeated a few times until Sakuya's spell card timed out.

...

"ZA WAURDO!"

…

"ZA WAURDO!"

…

"ZA WAURDO****!"

By the time Sakuya's spell card timed out, Flandre's clothes were utterly destroyed. Her vest was completely gone except for the part that hung around her shoulders, the right side of the pink shirt under her vest was missing the lower right half, and the hem of her skirt was tattered.

Damn… It's a good thing Clothes repair themselves after spell card battles. I don't want to have to buy her new clothes.

Flandre held up a spell card this time. A huge grin appeared on her face as she declared "And Then There Will Be None?" Flandre faded into invisibility as her manic laughter echoed in the background. "He he he ha ha YahHa HAHAHAHAH!" her psychopathic giggling unnerved me quite a bit.

Light blue danmaku bullets started coming out of nowhere, and after 2 seconds, the spawn point started moving around. The rate of bullets released increased, and more spawn points started to appear. In other words, There was a shit ton of bullets in front of me.

Damn, I don't know how Sakuya does it.

Sakuya avoided all the shots gracefully with elegant movements. Eventually, she was cornered by some of the orbs against my RV.

"NO! Get away from that!" Now that Sakuya was up against the RV, All the bullets were heading in her direction, therefore, some might hit my house.

Sakuya didn't show any sign of panic, or any emotion at all. She simply put her hands in front of herself along with a spell card, and yelled out "Bomb!" Her spell card exploded, and all the bullets disappeared as they were hit by the shockwave of the explosion.

I remember Reimu talking about this. It's a technique used to get yourself out of a tight situation in a danmaku Battle. I put my metal hand under my chin. She said you overload a magic spell; which causes all enemy danmaku to absorb into the user, and increase their power.

Flan's orbs were replaced by red tablets with the letter 'P' on them. They all gathered and rushed to Sakuya as she dashed away from the broken down vehicle.

Flan's voice echoed around the area. "Don't think it will be that easy!" the Barrage stopped, and bullets appeared on either side of Sakuya. They closed in on her, while green ones crossed over from side to side. She waved out of the ones that were closing in on her, and repeated the process until Flandre's spell timed out.

Flandre re-appeared. Out of breath, and maddened red eyes. "You avoided my barrage. That was one of my most powerful spell cards!"

Sakuya shrugged. "The fact that I can manipulate time and space helps with that a lot." She still looked the same as when the battle started. There wasn't a scratch on her, and she still looked like she could keep on fighting for hours. Flandre on the other hand, was a wreck. Her clothes were in tattered to the point where they were just barely hanging on, and she looked like she could collapse any second. "Getting tired young mistress?" Sakuya taunted.

Flandre let out a low growl, then she yelled "I wouldn't be so tired if you and one-chan would feed me once in a while.

Sakuya seemed to retreat back at that comment. It was true and she knew it.

Flandre continued. She started sobbing. "Alone. All alone. For 495 years. In the darkest depths of a cave, with only a maddened mind to keep you company." Flandre lowered her head. "No one even knew I existed. Nobody caring. It really is the worst feeling in the world." Flandre raised her head. Her eyes were leaking tears, and she had a smile on her face. "But now all that has changed! I'm free, and I'm not going to let you take that away from me!"

Sakuya flinched a little when Flandre raised her voice, showing that she actually was a human being, and not just a robot. Flandre took out a black spell card. It floated in her hand, and had a dark aura emanating from around it. "After I escaped to fight those humans that invaded a while back, I got this card. Congratulations, you are the second person ever to see it."

Flandre rose back into the air, and held the card above her head. She inhaled a huge amount of air. "QED: RIPPLES OF 495 YEARS!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Her scream was so loud, birds flew away from the trees, and it echoed all throughout Gensokyo. "Let's see how you like that feeling."

Forest of magic.

Maria's POV

I was sobbing while clutching the rectangular device AILC gave me to my chest. "Why did those eternal crusaders have to ruin everything." I said to myself. I was walking through the forest of Magic with Dan. We had to abandon our base, and with no way back, it looked like we were going to stay in Gensokyo.

Dan looked down at me, and eyed me suspiciously. "How do you know about the eternal crusaders?" Dan raised an eyebrow.

I wiped a tear off of my cheek. "The-They destroyed my home fifty years ago. *sob* Two people from them purified my guardians. My real parents died around 20 years before."

Dan paused. "Ok, that makes sense." he looked back up, and kept walking. Looking for a way out of the forest.

I heard someone yell in the distance. "QED: RIPPLES OF 495 YEARS."

After the yell, Dan and I kept quiet for another 3 minutes. Something seemed to be troubling him, until he looked back down and met my eyes. "Maria… I'm sure you already figured this out, but I used to be part of that organization. I used to kill demons, but when I took you in, you opened my eyes to the fact that what I was doing is wrong. But they attacked us because they thought I was a traitor to their cause." Slowed his walking pace a little.

I stayed quiet for a full minute. I knew you used to be part of them, but I didn't know I helped you see the right way… Dan looked down to the ground. Something seemed to be troubling him, but I decided it would be best not to ask.

I don't think I should ask him what's wrong, but I think I should try to comfort him. I ran around in front of Dan, and embraced him in a hug. "Thank you. *sniff*, *sob*."

Dan stopped walking. He was surprised by the action, but soon returned the favor. He bent down, and pulled me into an embrace. "No Maria, thank you…" we sat like this for about 30 seconds, until I heard Dan muttering "awwww~ who's a cute kitty~" I rolled my eyes, and decided to go along with it.

Bamboo forest clearing. (You know, the one where Sakuya and Flandre are fighting.)

Sakuya's POV

Two feet to the right… 6 inches to the left… up, down, to the left.

I was carefully calculating all my movements to avoid the young mistresses' attacks. Her barrage started slowly, but soon started picking up speed. I had to put a lot of effort into dodging.

"Come on, just die already!" Flandre whined. She was acting extremely un-lady like. Her hair was ruffled, and she had many split ends. Her barrage was hard to dodge, but I could handle it.

… Or so I thought. A stray bullet hit me when I wasn't paying attention. As soon as it contacted my skin, I felt a lonely feeling. It hurt, like someone ripping your heart right out of your chest. "Guhg!" I buckled over.

This is extremely un-elegant. I can't be seen like this. I'm displaying emotion!

Because I lost my focus, I didn't see the other bullets heading towards me. They impacted me, and I reacted with a scream. "GAAAAHHH!" The bullets kept hitting me until I collapsed to the ground, shaking.

Loneliness, sadness, madness… alone forever. I'm sorry my lady, I've failed you.

Flandre moved hovered over me. "Had enough?" She said with her arms crossed.

I slipped out of conciseness due to the fact that I just felt 495 years of loneliness in the course of 30 seconds.

Same location

Matt's POV

Wow. Flan isn't someone you want to mess with. She kicked Sakuya's ass!

Flandre drifted to the ground, and picked Sakuya up. She bared her claws and got ready to kill her old acquaintance. "Flandre Scarlet, stop!" She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. "You can't just go around killing everybody you don't like." I said with a stern tone.

Flan looked down at the ground. "Why not~" she whined.

"Because you just don't!" I retorted.

"…"

"Flandre… I know you don't like her, but killing her won't solve any problems. It'll just be more pointless violence."

"Is that so?"

*WHACK!*

Instead of telling Rumia to shut up this time, I just whacked her over the head with my metal arm. "Ow ow ow ow! Ok, I'll shut up!"

I decided it was best to just leave it. Flandre was not going to change overnight.

Digging into the issue won't solve anything. It'll take time to heal her mind.

I sighed. "Come on. We have to find a place I can get a replacement tire." We walked out of the forest with Sakuya slung over my shoulder. God forbid I let Flandre carry her. It turned out I had broken down near the kappa river at the base of Youkai Mountain.

Who would've guessed we were so close to the exit of the forest, but the kappa river, that'll do.

The scrap yard that I had found the RV in was right next to the river, so I thought I should look there. It's getting late. I should get Sakuya home. I got to work setting up a camp. "Here Flan." I looked at Flandre. "You're in charge of Rumia while I'm gone.

Flandre smiled with her toothy grin. "Okay, I won't let you down Matt."

I nodded "Good."

I turned to Rumia "And Rumia."

Rumia looked up from the chicken wing she was devouring "whhut?"

I put on my best poker face. "Please try not to do anything stupid."

Rumia with her mouth still full of food said "khay. Om nom nom nom."

I started setting up camp. There were plenty of supplies to build shelter with. After all, we were in a scrap yard.

After we set up a camp in the scrap yard, I took off with my jet-pack to fly Sakuya home. Well, here we are.

When I got to the misty lake, I dropped Sakuya off in front of the Scarlet Mansion, and flew away. Luckily, their gate guard was asleep at the time.

I set her down on the doorstep, and was very careful not to draw any attention. I knocked on the door, and flew away as fast as I could.

Well, it's in their hands now.

I flew off back to the camp just as fast as I flew to the mansion. I've go to be going at least 100 miles per hour!

I flew over the forest of magic, and noticed how nice the scenery looked. The sunset made the kappa river glisten, and the red sky complemented the Mansion I was getting further and further away from.

Can't wait to get to sleep.

Forest of Magic

Dan's POV

We've been wandering for 4 hours! Where is the fucking exit!

Maria had fallen asleep, so I had to carry her. "I need to find some fucking dinner. Youkai hunt humans, so maybe I should hunt Youkai." I started scouting around the area with Maria slung over my back.

I see something up ahead!

I got to a clearing where a little girl was spinning around. She looked very cheerful. "La-la! Mis-for-tune gather-ing is~ so~ much fun~" she sang.

Wait, that's not a Youkai.

All of a sudden the girl stopped spinning. She paused, and then looked right at the bush I was hiding in. "hello? You're a human aren't you." She walked closer. "I sense much misfortune coming from you.

I decided to step out of the bush. "Ok, you caught me. So, what are you talking about? You know, with me having a lot of misfortune."

The girl started spinning around. "You've had many difficulties in your life. It's misfortune."

I started getting a little irritated, and clenched my hand into a fist. "Ok, but what to you MEAN. As in what kind do I have?"

She stopped spinning, and put her hand on her chest. "I can't tell until I absorb them. My name is Hina, I am a curse goddess." She started spinning again.

A curse goddess? Maybe she can help with my curse. "My name is Dan. Say, I have this curse, and I would really like to be rid of it. Do you think you can help me out?"

She stopped spinning again. "Of course, let's see." She started spinning, and I felt something leave my body. It felt weird, like throwing up, but without anything coming out. "Oh my… you have been stuck with this curse for thousands of years." She stopped spinning and I felt normal again. "I can see you were cursed with immortality, sleeplessness, and bad luck." She frowned.

I got over the fact that what I had been essentially trying to get rid of for years, she had gotten rid of in a matter of seconds. "So… is it gone."

Hina shook her head side to side. "I couldn't remove it completely. You have been with it so long, that you still cannot die. But you can sleep, and your luck will be normal." She started spinning around again.

Oh my fucking god! If only I knew someone like HER was here!

I was still in mild shock. "Th… Thanks." I slowly walked off. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! I CAN'T BELIVE THIS HORSE FUCKING BULL SHIT! I SPENT 2000 CUNT FUCKING YEARS TRYING TO BREAK THIS CURSE, AND SHE COCK SUCKING DOES IT IN 5 ASS RAPEING SECONDS!

I was suddenly feeling tired, "Oh my! I've been WAITING for this for years!" I looked around for a good place to camp and finally sleep after all these years. I found a root formation under a tree trunk, and set Maria down. She stirred a little, but soon went back to happily sleeping away. "Good night Maria." I set AILC's hard drive down next to Maria, being careful not to bump it around too much. I layed down, and went to sleep. "Thank… you… ZZZZ."

To Be Continued...

[AN]:

* A title that pretty much means big brother.

** A title that pretty much means big sister.

*** The card's actual name is "Illusion World: The World", but I wanted to make a comparison between Sakuya Izayoi, and Dio Brando. Za waurdo translates to 'the world'.

**** I decided to indicate Sakuya's used of a spell card by having her say "ZA WAURDO!" every time it activates.

Alright. Chapter nineball, I mean Chapter nine… went very well. I was planning to have Hina remove Dan's curse since very early in the story. We also get to see a deeper side of Flandre's personality. Yeah, she's not just the crazy little girl everyone thought she was.

Also, I know some of you have commented about it, and yes I agree Dan swears too much. But remember, he is based on someone I know in real life. In fact, I go to school with him, and we're best friends. Hell, he helps me write this sometimes.

As usual, I want to thank all of you for supporting me. I want to give a special thanks to the Radioactive Arbiter for being my first reviewer, and supporting my fic. You should check out his/her fic: "Perfect Covert Fantasy". I also want to mention Solja-boi190 for coming back to review every chapter. Thanks peoples!

My sister, after reading this, wrote a blurb about my OC, Matt. I don't think she captured his personality entirely right, but whatever. So without further ado, I present my sister's first blurb.

Short Epic Touhou Blurb: Matthew's Perfect Math class.

Matt's POV

I raised my hand. "Question. Doesn't the square root of negative sixteen equal four i?"

"BAKA!" Cirno screamed, a demonic halo of blue hair floating around her head. "THERE ARE NO LETTERS IN MATH."

I opened my mouth, about to retort, but quickly changed my mind. I'd try my best to last another half hour of this torture without giving anyone a black eye. Glancing around the room, I noticed everyone else had the expressions of mixed boredom and annoyance that I also had. Cirno, I decided, was a horrible math teacher.

"Now," she smiled sweetly at the class. "WHAT'S TWO TIMES THREE HUNDRED."

Everyone around me groaned and replied weakly "six hundred." At different times.

"Thanks, I had to do my homework." She wrote down the answer with her pink tongue limply hanging out of her mouth. So she was teaching a math class and didn't even know simple multiplication? I buried my head in my hands without complaint, trying to block out an impending headache. I heard the whoosh of a ruler and felt the pain of a sharp sting trickle up my arm.

"PAY ATTENTION, BAKA."

My jaw tensed as my subconsciousness pleaded with my brain to stay calm. I sighed and picked up my pencil, ready to take whatever useless noted she would throw at us.

Cirno turned and wrote on a chalkboard:

Python Pythagorean Theorem:

2 + 2 = 2

This is used to find the length of sides of a square.

What? I face palmed along with half of the class, and instead wrote the real Pythagorean Theorem. The one with triangles.

"Class," she started, "according to this theorem, two plus two will always equal two."

It was going to be a long day.