My breathing was very shallow and I tried to open my eyes but a strong light pierced through my eyelids.

I started blinking and tried to recognize the surroundings I found myself in.

I was lying on a bed, a hospital bed that appeared in my nightmares, but in my mind I couldn't logically explain why had this terrifying dream come to me again after such a long time when everything was finally so perfect.

I saw silhouettes of two people leaning over me, but I couldn't recognize their faces.

My ears were hearing that they're talking, but my brain couldn't make out the sentences just few words.

Fever, getting better, it's about time, takes only, short time. A male voice sweet like honey and somehow so familiar was whispering them.

"Take care of her." The second person said out loud who's voice belonged to a female as was wearing black clothes from head to toe and even something covering her head.

I felt dizzy and shut my eyes and pressed my eyelids down hard concentrating on waking up.

When I opened my eyes I found myself in a comfortable familiar bed, our bed, even if he has never been sleeping here.

This time wasn't an exception, although I hoped that after everything what happened I would find him here lying beside me.

I took the pillow his head was resting on when I fell asleep last night and inhaled his smell still lingering on it. It calmed me and excited me at the same time. I pressed it hard against my face when I heard footsteps.

"Lana what are you doing?" His voice sounding alert. I took the pillow off my face and looked at him.

He looked terrified. I couldn't help but smile seeing him so frightened, so fragile.

"I missed you and it smelled like you."His eyes immediately softened and he stepped closer.

I reached out my hand to him and pulling him on the bed I kissed his lips sealing the distance between us.

He pulled me into his lap and run his finger through my hair. As our lips broke apart his eyes met mine and I could tell what's on his mind even before his thoughts could escape his lips.

"It's ok, I'm here. I'll never leave you. I promise."

I rested my head on his shoulder and felt a craving that was consuming my whole being.

The need of him being as close to me as it is humanly possible, but I wasn't able to do anything that would quench my desire, because I felt enormously tired and sleepy.

Slowly I let the pull to take me into the lands of my subconsciousness.

I felt better when I woke up.

I didn't want to open my eyes, not yet, not this time. Few more moments, there's no need to hurry.

I was sure I'll find him sleeping sweetly in the bed, I wanted to watch him sleep so much.

I wanted to stretch before I opened my eyes because my muscles seemed very stiff, but I couldn't.

Something was restraining me, I couldn't move my hands or legs for more than few inches.

I opened my eyes in an instant and tried to make out what's wrong.

I saw him leaning over me. He looked so elegant and more handsome than ever. White shirt and red tie, he had his glasses on, his hair slicked back the way I found it the most attractive.

Only his eyes were different, I coudn't find any trace of need or craving in them. The way they always looked at me was now gone.

I saw him placing his hand on my chest but instead of his soft fingers I felt something cold against my skin.

There was a stethoscope in his hand that caused the uncomfortable sensation against my skin. After few second he took the stethoscope out of his ears and pursed his lips.

"Ms Winters...I'm Dr. Thredson your attending physician, you may not remember me..." his words faded into echoes because I could only hear the abrupt skipping of my heart.

I wasn't sure if it's going to stop or not, but it would make no difference to me.

I wanted to wake up or die in an instant. The only thing that mattered was to get back to my own bed in Oliver's basement.

"Ms Winters can you hear me?" Oliver flashed a little light into my left eye then into the right one.

I slowly nodded, not sure how to react and what to tell him.

Why can't I wake up and why is he playing this game with me?

"You were unconscious for days Ms Winters. A nervous breakdown caused it and you had high fever. I can still hear inflammation in your lungs when you're breathing, you caught a cold when you tried to escape on the night of that heavy storm. They found you uncsonsious by stairs of the main entrance soaking wet, you could be lying there for hours." He shook his head as if in disbelief.

"I've been your psychiatrist since then day you were brought here Lana." I tried to focus on the last word he said.

My name.

The same lips pronounced it, the same voice brought it alive, yet it sounded different from all those times he's angrily yelled it, sweetly whispered it, yearningly moaned it.

I tried to yank my hand free, but it was impossible. I wanted to touch him to remind him of the touch that meant life for him, but I couldn't.

I needed him to reassure me everything's gonna be alright, that it's just an awful nightmare and that I will wake up in his arms.

"Give me your hand." I tried to catch the gaze of his eyes but he wouldn't look directly at me. Instead he was preparing something on the table nearby, glancing at me from time to time.

"Oliver please!" I said louder than I intended. He looked at me with a vacant gaze and held an injection in his hand.

"NO! PLEASE! OLIVER! PLEASE!" I was yelling so loudly that two orderlies entered the room.

I could feel the piercing of the needle through my skin when a woman dressed in black looking like a nun approached my bed.

"Sister Jude, she's delusional again." Oliver told the woman who placed her hand on his shoulder. I could feel the rage rise through my whole body up to my head.

"Don't touch him you fucking bitch!" I yelled.

The orderlies came closer as if I could be dangerous or mean any harm to anybody in the room while I was restrained from head to toe.

"You're taking good care of her doctor, don't worry." The woman called sister Jude told Oliver and left the room indicating the orderlies to go with her.

We finally stayed alone. Just me and him.

I could instantly feel more relaxed and even a smile showed up on my face.

I knew he'll pretend no more and now that nobody's looking he'll be mine again.

I waited for him to make the first approach. I didn't want to look needy so I remained silent but then I drifted to sleep.

It's been 21 days since I hugged him, since I kissed him, since I'd been entirely his for the last time. They placed a clock on my bedside table so I could keep track of time.

I miss him the way that I can't eat, sleep or when he's absent breathe.

But even if he's here with me it's not him anymore.

He just looks like my Oliver, but he doesn't aknowledge my presence the way he had when he loved me and I loved him back and it's slowly tearing my heart apart.

Sister Jude even called for a cardiologist, but I'm sure it was him worrying about me. The specialist said I have arrhythmia from the nerves or something like that. Oliver confirmed it can be so. But I'm not afraid anymore. I'm sure this is just a nightmare and when I die I wake up into the reality.

The fact that he smiled at me today because of the recovery I made keeps me believing so.

He said I behave much better and I don't need those injections that knock me out anymore. I'm starting to see compassion in his eyes and it gives me a slight hope for those few moments when our eyes meet.

I don't know what's dream and what's reality anymore.

Even Oliver is trying to convince me that I'm awake, our therapy sessions continue and I try to sound as reasonable as it can be when I talk to him, but when I look into this eyes I lose myself in them and all the memories start to percolate until they become a heavy flood that I can't stop.

They say I'm insane. He never said that, I can tell he believes in me.

Believes in my innocence because one day he'll remember and then he'll lock me in his embrace and never let me go.

They said I killed my girlfriend Wendy, strangled her with a telephone cable and stabbed her to the heart with a knife.

The police found her dead in our bed, in my and Oliver's bed. The knife still sticking out of her ribcage. It happened in my and Wendy's apartment, but I don't remember living there.

I loved her, they said, but I can't remember loving anybody else but Oliver.

I was on the floor unconscious when they found her body. I had her blood smeared all over my face, they said.

Bloody face, they called me.

I know it's just the thing they made up so they can make me unhappy and maybe I don't even deserve happiness.

I couldn't see the obvious at the beginning and I had let Oliver believe I'll never return his feelings, he suffered because of me so maybe I truly deserve this.

But I know one thing for sure and it's as clear to me as breathing.

I'll wait. For him. I'll endure anything.

I'll pretend he's just a doctor and we don't have feelings for each other.

I'll endure the tortures of sister Jude, I'll endure electroshock therapy from her.

She thinks she can make me forget and maybe she's right.

She can make me forget everything except for one thing.

Oliver Thredson is where I belong.

He kidnapped me, opened his heart to me, captured my heart in his own.

Held me captive, but not anymore because one day I'll return to his basement where he's waiting for me and then the only remaining thing held captive by him will be my heart.