Author's Notes:
Hi, I'm The Cool Kat, and this is "Po and Fung's Stereotypical Cave-In Story". The plot is a classic slash fic staple; two dudes get trapped in a cave or some other tight enclosed space, and whether they're gay or not wind up having sex. In fact, the title even acknowledges this. But hey, why mess with a classic? Funny thing is, I originally hadn't planned to write this story. I'm actually a Po/Wolf Boss shipper myself. And if this fic isn't an example of inspiration hitting you from out of the blue, I don't know what is. I got the idea when a friend of mine, Joe 'Po' Navark, mentioned that there aren't many Po/Fung stories on the archive (besides a short fic by Strong Man). So I decided that if I was gonna write the first Po/Wolf Boss stories on the site, I should get the Po/Fung ball rolling as well for fans of that pairing. And I've been working on the concept since December.
This story was originally shorter and a lot simpler, but random sex (albeit hot sex) does not a story make. After all, it's one of the first of its kind, I figured it deserved to be a bit more complicated and meaningful than Fung just begging Po to take him, or vice versa. A guy named Red Aigh once told me that his philosophy is that sex without love is meaningless, and I agree with that. So instead of making it a porn-without-plot, I built up to Po and Fung's inevitable release to try and make the moment more meaningful and believable (I've got nothing against PWPs, I live for the occasional Tintin/Haddock one-shot). I'm satisfied with the way this fic turned out, and hopefully you all will be too.
Po and Fung's Stereotypical Cave-In Story:
"Darn it!", Fung shouted, scowling heatedly at the big, impenetrable wall of rocks and boulders that trapped him in the same cave as his nemesis / frenemy, the Dragon Warrior. "Thanks for getting us stuck in here, Po", he remarked sarcastically.
"You're the one who led me in here", the bear countered.
"Yeah, but you didn't have to follow me! You're always sticking your nose in my job and messing things up", the croc bandit groaned.
"Because that's my job", Po replied, frustrated. Catching bad guys was his calling after all, his duty, and it wasn't always an easy one for the Dragon Warrior. Sometimes, it required him to shut down any personal feelings of friendship or attraction to do what needed to be done.
How did they both end up here? Things had started out innocently enough. Po was walking around the bamboo forest when he heard what sounded like an innocent woman's screams for help. Sure enough, when he peeked around a corner he found Fung and his croc bandits up to no good as usual, robbing the traveling lady of all her valuables and stuffing them into a sack. Po stepped out from his hiding place, announced he was there to stop them, and the crocs scattered. He chased them all over the forest, through creeks, under tree branches, over tree branches, but they were always one step ahead of him.
Finally he reached a fork in the road. He didn't know which way they went until he saw a croc's tail fly around a corner at the end of the right pass. He followed it, but little did he know that the crocs had split up. Fung, being the smartest member of his gang, told his men to keep going with the loot while he led Po off their trail. Po never realized he was being duped until Fung led him into a cave, and he realized the croc was alone. But before he could double back, Fung cut him off, telling the panda he'd have to fight him first. And fight they did, the plushy panda warrior and the burly croc bandit: grappling with purpose, struggling for dominance, tussling for victory. Fung got thrown into the cave wall while Po was slammed into the ceiling. It was no surprise the cavern's stone structure gave out under all the stress and abuse, and caved-in on them, knocking both brawlers out – until Fung woke his rival up with his usual scream of 'darn it!'.
"We're gonna die in here because of you, Po!", the burly croc bandit snapped, angrily jamming his finger in the bear's face.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down. If we start fighting again we'll only use up more of our energy, and then we'll die even faster", Po reasoned.
Fung didn't say anything else; he knew Po was right, so he growled and stalked away fuming.
"We've just gotta think of a plan. Fung, how long do you think it'll be before your gang comes looking for you?", Po asked.
"They won't. I told them I'd catch up with them", the croc bandit groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. "What about your friends, the Furious Five?", he asked, daring to hope the panda had a solution of his own.
Unfortunately, he got his hopes up for nothing. "Umm, yeah, they kinda don't know where I am", Po said embarrassedly, shuffling his feet through the sand.
"What?", Fung pressed icily.
"The reason I was in the forest was because I was on the way to this kung fu convention out of town, you might have heard of it, it's called-", Po explained, before he was harshly cut off.
"I don't care what it's called, Po! I care that there's no way out of here!", the rough and tough crocodile snapped.
Po flinched. "You've got a lot of anger in you, you know that?", he noted.
Fung growled in frustration and turned away from the bear, running his claws over his face again.
"Shouldn't that hurt?", Po wondered, grimacing.
Fung sighed and (with a lot of effort put into it) spoke more calmly this time. "I don't suppose you're a good digger?", he asked, staring at the rock wall that separated them from freedom.
"Nope", Po replied regretfully.
((()-()))
About thirty minutes later, Fung's temper had cooled off and things had calmed down considerably. Once the hotheaded croc had worn himself out, Po and Fung decided to pass the time by doing something they always did when they were alone – make small talk. The chubby panda and the burly croc bandit could both be quite amicable when they wanted to be, so it wasn't difficult for them.
"You know, I never thought I'd die like this, trapped in a cave", Fung admitted, lying on the tunnel's dusty floor.
"I always thought I'd go out in a blaze of glory, defeating an unvanquishable foe", Po added, lying down much more comfortably next to the crocodile.
Fung shrugged. "Well, I'm not exactly 'unvanquishable'. After all, I'm just a single guy who's still living with his mom", he said casually, before he frowned and his voice lowered. "I can't believe it. I'm twenty-five years old, and I'm still single", he griped to himself, depressed.
"Hey, don't be like that. I'm still single, so I'm no better off than you are", Po reminded him, trying to cheer him up.
Fung scoffed. "It's not the same. I've never met anyone that I've liked enough for them to be my girlfriend. But don't you have a crush on that angry tiger lady?", he asked.
When Fung first met Po, he would have denied his question in his heartbeat, or scrambled to come up with some lame answer. But now, for some reason, he didn't seem to have a problem replying. "Yeah, I did, for a long time. But that's all it was, a crush. And the feeling wasn't exactly mutual", he said, almost regretfully. "Still, maybe it was for the best. Something tells me she wasn't what I was looking for anyway", he decided.
Fung lifted his head up to get a better look at the panda, skeptical and confused about what he was saying. "What do you mean?", he pried.
Po hesitated, and that only made Fung even more curious. What could the bear have to hide: some kind of incident that had gone on within the palace walls? Had he kissed Tigress and she didn't kiss him back? Whatever it was, he was about to find out, because it looked like Po had made up his mind.
"Alright Fung, to make you feel better, I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone else, not even my own friends. But you can't tell anybody", he warned.
Fung shrugged again. "Who am I gonna tell? We're gonna be dead in a few days", he replied, talking about their possible deaths in a surprisingly calm manner for a guy who was freaking out about dying only a little while ago.
"I'm serious. I need you to promise me that no matter what happens between us in the future, as designated good guys and bad guys, you won't tell anyone about this. We may be fighting on different sides, but I've still respected your secrets, now I need you to respect mine", Po insisted.
Fung lifted his scaly hand. "Cross my heart and hope to die", he said, half-kidding and half-serious.
Satisfied, Po smiled. "Alright, well the reason I stopped crushing on Tigress is because I wasn't interested in her as more than a friend anymore, or any girls for that matter", he explained.
Fung tilted his head to the side, and Po groaned inside his head. God, why did crocs have to be difficult? He didn't want to have to spell it out for him, it was embarrassing enough just to toe the water, but it seemed he had no chance.
"I'm gay, Fung", he said bluntly.
Fung's eyes bugged and the croc's mouth hung loose from his long snout. "Huh?", he said in disbelief.
"A couple of months ago, I found out I was gay, which means I like guys", Po explained, exasperated. The secret was officially out, and however Fung reacted next was entirely up to chance.
To Po's shock, the croc bandit only did what he had done many times before, shrug his arms indifferently. "Oh", he said, lying his head down again.
Po couldn't believe this. "Oh? That's it? You're not, you know, offended or anything?", he asked.
"Nah, I'm used to it. Gary's gay", Fung said boredly. "Well, he may be, I'm not entirely sure. He's such a wimp", he added.
"Besides, your confession still didn't help me. Gay or not, you're the Dragon Warrior, you've got a life, some friends, a career. I'm still just a loser who's never kissed anyone besides his mom. A guy in his twenties who's never been kissed, that's more than embarrassing, it's just shameful", Fung growled. Po stared at him sympathetically, as the croc went back to beating himself up again (literally).
"And you know, I wouldn't even care who it was, it wouldn't matter if they were pretty or ugly, so long as they wanted to kiss me. But that's never gonna happen now. Cause we're going to be stuck in this cave until the end of time, and no one's ever gonna find us in here!", he despaired, losing hope and banging his head against the cave floor.
When he was about to hit himself for the fifth time, his head was met with Po's soft, fuzzy, comforting paw. "Hey Fung", the panda beckoned.
"What?-oomph!", Fung asked, before he got the shock of his life. All of a sudden, Po was kissing him. No joke. The bear turned his head around, lightly rubbing his rough chin with his soft palm, and he started grazing Fung's scaly green lips with his furry black ones. There was no tongue involved, just a gentle pecking of the lips. And as quickly as it began, it was all over. When he was pulled away from Fung, Po was clearly satisfied with himself, having enjoyed the experience, while Fung looked like a guy who had just wet himself (something he and his men confessed to doing a lot).
"You said you wouldn't care who it was from, so long as they wanted to do it. So there's your first kiss", Po declared. "If we do, by some slim chance, die, we can both die happy", he reckoned, grinning.
Fung, still being uncharacteristically quiet, touched his lips with one of his claws and rubbed the spot where Po had touched him a moment ago. He didn't feel angry or disgusted. He felt relieved and grateful. The reason being kissed by a dude didn't feel horribly wrong to him was because his friend / enemy had just done him a kindness that no other soul, boy or girl, had ever done for him in twenty-five years. If he was a wimp like Gary, he'd probably start crying, but since he wasn't, since he reckoned he was a pretty tough and hardy bandit, he got a grip on his emotions and cleared his throat. "Thanks, Po", he said quietly but gratefully sincere.
Po never thought he'd hear that after kissing a straight guy. "No problem", he grinned.
Neither of them noticed, in the darkness of the cave, that Fung's rugged red pants had grown a little tighter and a little snugger around the crotch, bulging outwards from the stimulus of being kissed by his black and white rival.
((()-()))
Another hour passed; Po and Fung kept quiet, leaving each other to their thoughts, until Po inevitably spoke up again. "I've got an idea", he said.
"An idea for what?", Fung asked semi-curiously (he was too tired and too lazy to be completely curious).
"You said you've been single all your life. Well, so have I. But I've got an idea on how to change that for the both of us", Po said excitedly.
That got Fung's attention. "What?!", he asked hopefully.
"I can be your mate", Po replied. But while the panda's eagerness (and his Cheshire cat-like grin) remained, Fung's face looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Are you crazy?", he snapped.
"Fung, now hear me out", Po insisted.
"I'm serious. Are the walls closing in on you or something? I'm not gay", Fung scowled.
"You don't have to be, that's the beauty of my idea. We could have a sexless relationship; I think they call it being platonic. No kisses, no sex, nothing that involves you and me taking off our clothes", Po explained.
Fung raised his finger to argue with that, but then lowered it again, and Po knew the croc was actually stopping to think about his suggestion. "Look even if I wanted to go along with your crazy idea, which I don't because it's nuts, but if I did, I couldn't anyway. You're some goody-goody student and I'm a croc bandit, leader of the croc bandits. A bandit can't date a crime fighter", he reasoned.
"It could be a one-time thing, something we'll do right here, right now. And if we do survive to see the next sunrise tomorrow, you can end it anytime you want, and no one ever has to know", Po figured. Again, Po could see Fung was tempted by the idea, and he knew if he was going to get him to agree he had to bring it all home.
"This is your chance to have what you've already wanted. You get to find out what a relationship is like, and you won't be single anymore. It's worth a shot, right?", he asked, extending his paw. "Are you gonna be single forever because you're scared, or are you gonna swallow that fear, Mr. Badass Bandit?", he challenged.
At first Fung's expression was unchanged. And then the edge of his green lips started to turn upwards. He chuckled under his breath, which then grew into a rough, throaty laugh, another one of Fung's strange traits.
"Alright panda, you really wanna try this, you wanna be my boyfriend? Then let's do it", he decided, grabbing the bear's paw and shaking it as hard as he could, while a smug grin stretched across Po's face.
((()-()))
A little while later, Fung squirmed and moved around awkwardly in Po's chubby arms, trying to find a position he was comfortable sitting in. "I thought this was a platonic relationship", he commented, a tad annoyed.
"It is. Hugging has got nothing to do with sex", Po reminded him. "You agreed that you wanted to know what being in a relationship is like and hugging is a part of it", he added, to put an end to the croc's complaining.
"And how do you know so much about this stuff?", Fung questioned suspiciously.
"I read it in a scroll", Po replied.
"There's a scroll about relationships?", Fung asked, surprised.
"You'd be surprised, there are scrolls about everything if you know where to look", Po replied, shuddering as he thought about all the times he'd been forced to read through dozens of scrolls just to find the one he needed. "Besides, you can't tell me you're not enjoying this. Who doesn't like a good bear hug?", Po asked.
Fung rolled his eyes. "It's okay, I guess", he replied.
He had to admit, most of the reason why this felt so awkward was because he was afraid someone would see them, which was irrational of course, since no one even knew where they were. In actuality, the hug itself wasn't that bad.
The panda had wrapped both of his thick, strong arms around the reptile's scaly, muscular body, and he was holding the burly croc bandit tightly against his chest. His warm, beating chest. The chest whose bushy fur juxtaposed his slick scales. The chest that he could feel rising and falling, rubbing and then pulling away from his own bare back. It was actually kind of soothing. Even if Fung was a self-proclaimed bad guy and his enemy, Po wanted to let the brawny thief feel loved and secure for once in his embrace. Pretty soon, Fung was relaxing his (usually tense) muscles and leaning back against Po's naked chest, letting himself sink into the panda's soft, fuzzy fur.
Po's grin grew wider. He had done it, he had gotten Fung to loosen up. He had been trying all day to cheer the croc up (whether it was through jokes or witty banter) and get him to relieve some of that anger he'd been harboring, and now it was finally working. He didn't dare say anything; teasing Fung would only make him pull away. No, Po decided to let the lead bandit enjoy his one-off relationship in peace.
Fung smirked to himself and after a while decided to speak up, rumbling lowly but genially. "You're a real sap, you know that, panda?", he ribbed the bear.
Po waggled his eyebrows and crooked his head to the side. "I never said I was ashamed of it. And you're not as tough as you act, big guy", the panda countered, letting his arms rest on the croc's belly. "You're pretty soft yourself", the bear chuckled.
Fung snorted and shook his head, but his grin remained nonetheless. "Wanna fight me again and test that out, panda?", the burly croc bandit offered, challenging the crime fighter.
"Nope", Po said simply, content with where he was, before he leaned his head back against the cave wall and started to relax himself, enjoying holding his stocky frenemy against his belly, between his legs.
Fung, despite what Po thought, was nowhere near close to falling asleep. He was loving all of his current position way too much to even think about sleeping, and he grew to appreciate the panda spooning him more and more with every passing minute. The plushy, cuddly arms holding him close; the strong, tree trunk-like legs boxing him in on either side; the warm, black and white fur enveloping his scales; the big, hearty belly rubbing up against his back and the chin resting against his head. Po was like a living, breathing pillow, while still being a distinctively strong and masculine bro, and he inexplicably felt the urge to start rubbing himself against him.
When he did, he felt something strangely solid among all the fluff, poking him in the backside. It dawned on him for the first time that if Po was hugging him, his own butt would be right in front of Po's crotch, and that during all his (god, it was still kind of embarrassing) snuggling he had stumbled upon Po's member. He had almost forgotten the bear had one of those. When you spend a few years fighting someone you stop thinking of them as just average guys. Then again, straight guys didn't exactly spend all their time thinking about other guys' junk anyway. Now though, that they were breaking down boundaries and getting surprisingly intimate with each other, he wondered what Po's dick was like. If his own member was covered in scales like the rest of his skin, then that meant Po's equipment was furry, right?
Speaking of dicks, Fung slowly became aware of his own again, when it started growing in pants. Wait…growing?! Why in the hell was he getting hard?! Why now when Po was hugging him tightly and he was thinking about the bear's package nudging his butt, poking his cheeks? Why was he thinking about Po's junk anyway?! He wasn't gay! Sure he may have admired how strong of a fighter the bear was despite his size, and enjoyed roughing him up whenever they fought, and felt a twitch in his boxers here and there in the past whenever the thief and the martial artist grappled personally, but that hardly meant he was gay. It just meant he enjoyed the rough, hardy life of a bandit. However, his rapidly swelling, uncomfortable cock seemed to disagree. Pretty soon, it was half-hard, filling up his boxers, making his tight red pants tent, and the croc squirmed, which unfortunately made him rub against Po again and sped up the hardening.
This rarely ever happened. The croc bandit hardly ever got excited about anything except pillaging, looting and robbing people with his boys, and the only time he ever thought about anything sexual was on the rare nights he masturbated. So this was either caused by the friction (which admittedly felt really good as his heady hard-on kept scraping the seamline of his red pants in a really heated, pleasurable way), or it was being caused by…Po.
Po! How much did he feel? The panda's arms were wrapped around his chest and his belly, not his crotch, so certainly he couldn't tell, could he? All Fung had to do was wait this out. It would pass soon enough. Hard-ons always did.
So the croc bandit sat perfectly still, pretending to be asleep, waiting for his sex drive to calm down. But it never did. His dick just sat painfully hard in his pants, begging for attention and stimulation beyond grazing the rough, constricting fabric of his pants, oozing pre-come around the spot where his trousers tented, revealing his boner in the darkness, threatening to leave stains on his crotch. He wanted to grip his cock in his palm and jerk himself off, fisting his taut, virile muscle through the fabric, until he found completion so badly - coming right then and there and blowing a hot, thick, creamy load in his pants, right down his legs, if he had to to relieve the pressure - especially since Po's own dick kept resting against his butt and rubbing up against his backside obliviously. And if Fung didn't know better, he would swear Po was getting a bit of a hard-on and chubbing up himself from the contact. Along with wanting to jack-off, the croc bandit felt a desire to scooch back, test the water a bit, and rub himself against the panda's groin, making the bear feel the same way he felt.
Fung groaned inwardly; he knew now it wasn't the friction or the lack of masturbation lately that was making him horny and hot. It was Po.
The bear had kissed him earlier, stirring a reaction in him, and now the big guy was hugging him, squeezing him with unprecedented love and affection, showing just how warmhearted he was to the rough and tough, opportunistic bandit who was supposed to be his enemy, and when Fung so much as felt the panda's crotch it set him off. Whether he was gay or not, he wanted Po. There were several things that were wrong about this. One of them being that Po was the guy who sent him and his gang off to jail every time they met, and another one being that Fung had screwed Po and his pals over several times in the past as well, but that apparently no longer mattered to his fogged, horny mind.
He couldn't suppress what he wanted much longer, and as it started to overpower him, he didn't know why it was so important to try and resist anymore. What was so bad about being gay anyway? Gary was gay (or at least Fung thought he was) and aside from the weird, annoying questions every now and then, he was a pretty good guy. Po was gay, and he had been trying all night to be his friend and cheer him up. So if Fung did like guys (it was still hard to apply the word 'gay' to himself) and he didn't know about it until now, why not give into his wants and desires? Because it might offend Po? He was the one who suggested this crazy dating idea in the first place. So as he made his decision, the croc bandit bucked up all the nerve he had and bit the bullet.
"Hey Po", he spoke gruffly.
"What's up?", the bear asked, blinking. He thought Fung had gone to sleep by now; he had been so quiet for the past few minutes.
"You know that relationship scroll you told me about, did it mention anything about sex?", Fung asked.
"Why do you ask?", Po countered, suspicious.
"Because…I think I want to have sex with you", Fung blurted out, a bit abashed.
That scaly-green jerk. Po had been the one saying jaw-dropping things all night, catching the crocodile off guard, and now Fung was getting him back. "But, but I thought you…", Po stuttered, trying to understand how a guy could go from shying away from a hug to craving sex in the same night.
"I know what I said. But I figure if we're gonna do this relationship stuff, we might as well go all the way with it. The way I am right now, I think I would enjoy it", Fung admitted, embarrassed but still painfully aroused at the same time.
Po had to admit, he was tempted. He had indeed read about sex, and like Fung he wanted to know what it actually felt like in real life - and considering Fung had unknowingly turned the panda on a time or two in the past with his dude-bro personality and their rough brawls, the idea of doing it with the croc bandit sounded pretty sweet - but his concern for his friend outweighed his own selfish desires for once.
"Fung, are you sure about this? I mean, a kiss and a few hugs is one thing, but this is your virginity we're talking about. Shifu says that, for a guy or girl, virginity is a sacred thing, and once it's gone it can never be reclaimed. It should be taken by someone you're close to, who you feel a special connection with. Are you really sure you want me to do it?", Po asked nervously.
Fung laughed, like he knew something Po didn't. "Po, why wouldn't I give it to you? You're my friend. You've helped me, lots of times. You trusted me, even when I was lying to you. And you've been listening to me whine about my life all night. So I do - ugh this sounds so sappy - have a connection with you. I'm closer to you than I am my own folks", Fung reasoned. "So what you should be asking is, do you really want to give up your virginity to a croc bandit? Isn't that like dishonor on the Dragon Warrior name or something?", the croc bandit questioned.
"Nah, that doesn't matter. Yeah, you're a thief and a criminal Fung, but you're more than just that. Most bandits I know would have tried to kill me hours ago, but you've let me hug you, kiss you, and tell you stories my friends say are boring all night. You're a nice guy Fung, most of the time, and I mind my first time being with you about as much as you do", the panda said reassuringly. "So I'm giving you permission to go ahead", he declared.
Fung was touched, to say the least. Po trusted him. Sure, the bear always trusted him, sometimes against his better judgment, but this was a whole new level of trust. Which meant he was either an enormous fool or the best friend anyone could ask for. Sometimes it was a little bit of both, but today it was just the latter. "Ditto", the croc bandit grinned.
Now that both of them had made up their minds, the crocodile wasted no time in grabbing the edges of his pants. He pulled them down his legs and then ran them down the length of his long tail. His scaly member, now with nothing to hold it back, stood tall and proud, waiting for either Po or Fung to give it what it had been waiting for. Fung (despite still being incredibly nervous about what they were about to do) held his head up high, refusing to be cowed, and turned towards his boyfriend to face his reaction head-on.
"Wow, you are ready", Po noted, when he saw how far Fung's dick curled into a C-like shape. It looked painful; thankfully he knew how to fix that. "Okay, lie down", he instructed.
Fung obliged, lying down on the floor and exposing his naked butt to the bear, the center of it covered only by his tail. He grinned briefly when it occurred to him that he was mooning his frenemy, usually a sign of taunting and jeering, and the bear was probably really enjoying the view, checking out his sweet ass. "What are you gonna do?", he asked.
Po got down on his knees and whispered his intentions into the croc bandit's ears. When Po, who he always thought was so innocent and squeaky clean, told him such naughty, carnal and enticing thoughts, Fung couldn't stop himself shivering, not just out of fear but lust. "Do it", he said determinedly and decisively. Talk about thinking with your cock and not your head.
Po pulled down his shorts, exposing his hardened, black rod and positioned it above Fung's buttcheeks. It seems he was ready too. The panda slowly pulled back Fung's tail, and got a nice good look at the hole he was about to be inserting himself into.
The outer rims were covered in scales, just like the rest of his reptilian body, but there was no telling if the insides would be the same. Even if he was careful, there was still a chance his not-so-soft, furry member could be scraped or even bruised during the intercourse. Was this really worth the risk?
And then Po remembered that he and Fung were still trapped inside a cave together, and may never see the light of day again. Now wasn't the time to be afraid. Now was the time to take risks and succeed in lifelong dreams. Po had a real track record in making those come true.
He spit on his paw and wiped it on his dick, making sure he got it nice and wet, all slicked up, before he did the same for Fung's passage. "Gah!", the croc bandit exclaimed, digging his claws into the earth as Po's cold saliva ran through him, seeping into his insides. He was losing it already and they hadn't even really started yet.
"You okay?", Po asked.
"I'm fine. Just do it Po, before one of us chickens out", Fung insisted, leaving out the fact that that person would most likely be him.
Fung was all lubed up, his tail had been taken care of, Po was out and open, everything was all taken care of. As he edged closer and closer to Fung's scaly cheeks, Po looked down at his slippery dick; it would probably be the last time he'd see it until the mating was over. A bead of pearly-white liquid oozed from the tip, his body's way agreeing with Fung and screaming at him to get on with it; the turned-on panda could take the hint. "No turning back now", was the last thing Po thought, before he slipped the phallus edge into the space between Fung's buttocks.
Fung, whose eyes had been clenched firmly shut the whole time, sighed in relief. "That isn't so bad", he said.
"Oh, we're just getting started. According to the scroll, the further in I go, the tighter things get", Po informed him. That was a worrisome thought for both animals. At least he didn't have to worry about hurting himself. Even though Fung's skin was all scaly on the outside, his insides were soft and fleshy like most living creatures.
Fung gulped and closed his eyes again. Po's warning came true a lot sooner than he wished it would. As Po slipped his length further and further in, Fung became more and more aware of the panda's presence. He could feel him filling him. One inch, two inch, three inches. When Po was half of the way in, things started to get difficult. Po had reached the end of the line; the walls were all so close together now they couldn't accommodate him anymore.
"What are you gonna do now?", Fung asked.
"I guess I'm just gonna have to make room", Po reckoned, getting himself in the right position, the center of Fung's passage, before he started making his move. "Fung, this is probably gonna hurt", he warned him, pulling his cock backwards a bit and then ramming it right into the hole.
'This is gonna hurt', what an understatement. The naked crocodile writhed and spasmed, before he opened his mouth and bellowed for all the world to hear him. Fung screamed louder than he did every time he was frustrated, louder than when Po and the Five always kicked his butt, and even louder than the time he accidentally dropped a hammer on his foot. If they had been in an underground cave, stalagmites would have rained down on their heads. That's how much it hurt. And Po was just getting started.
Mind you, it wasn't exactly a picnic for Po either. The scrolls said that things would get tighter the further in you went, but it didn't say anything about having to fight your way through to gain passage. He was starting to wonder if sex was completely overrated.
But it wasn't. Patience was indeed a virtue. Because all that tightness and uncomfortableness paid off when the walls of Fung's butt started to part ways, allowing Po to slip the rest of his member further in. He soon hit another snag, but this one was softer and somehow even more fleshy than the walls of Fung's inner-ass. Po realized he had finally found what the scroll said he should be looking for, the prostate gland – the pleasure center of the body.
"Alright", he thought eagerly. He didn't need to try and remember the scroll for this part, it came to him out of pure instinct. He pulled back about a half an inch, and then rammed his cock in Fung's sweet spot.
The croc bandit moaned, vibrating beneath the bear from the pleasant surprise, and the burly bandit let his tongue hang out of his mouth. "Yeah", he laughed. "Yeah, panda! Hit it again!", he insisted. Po did as he was asked and repeated the same move, doing it harder this time. Another rush of nirvana spread over Fung, like ripples on a pond, and the crocodile really started to enjoy himself now, his dick curving up against his belly, grinding against the ground beneath him. All that pain and overblown fear earlier was completely worth it to get to this moment. "Hit it again!", he ordered.
"Aye, aye captain", Po replied jokingly. He was the top, wasn't he supposed to be giving the orders? Ah well. He couldn't argue that he was just as impatient as his partner was.
As Po struck him over and over, Fung felt the urge to abandon his usual expletives for words that were a bit stronger. "Yeah! Hell yeah! Fuck! Fuck!", the bandit exclaimed, his voice cracked and a somewhat unnervingly maniacal grin plastered onto his face.
"I know, right?", Po laughed, as the bear sped up his movements, hitting Fung's prostate six times a minute instead of just three. It was all so…so awesome, so bodaciously awesome that the Dragon Warrior almost didn't want it to end. But at the same time, he had a feeling that something even better was awaiting the both of them, and that's why he kept pushing harder. Pushing towards the inevitable climax.
Fung could feel it too. His swollen cock was already starting to leak pre-cum, a clear sign he was about to blow. And his virginity was about to be history. He never thought he'd say this, but getting stuck in this cave was the best thing that ever happened to him.
No…Po was the best thing that ever happened to him. He had been since the day he first met him. And that's why, before he lost control, Fung said five little words that made their casual, spur-of-the-moment relationship all the more personal. "Damnit Po, I love you!", he exclaimed.
Po's jade-green eyes bugged in surprise, and Fung's honey-yellow ones did the same as well out of delayed alarm. But neither animal had a chance to say anything else because the oncoming storm, the one that had been brewing for quite some time now, finally hit. Po and Fung groaned and twisted in all directions, tensing up as their cocks shot out their life seed. Having achieved what they had both been working for, the chubby panda warrior and the brawny croc bandit bust a nut together. Po's dick filled Fung's tight ass straight to the top with his come, gushing uncontrollably in spurts, while Fung's cock painted the ground grey with his milky cream; panting, moaning and humping each other like they were two animals in heat as they both found release. "Awesome!" ran through Po's head over and over again as his midsection shuddered pleasantly, until the moment had finally passed, and the bear fell to his knees, his energy drained.
His temporary boyfriend fell limp on the ground; torn between lying there forever and hitting his head on the ground like he usually did. He had so many mixed feelings right now. For one, he felt like he could be on cloud nine, but he was also tired as hell and there was this nagging feeling at the back of his head that, in the heat of the moment, he had gone too far. He had told Po he loved him. What the hell had he done? This wasn't supposed to happen.
It wasn't that he didn't mean what he said, believe you me, the croc bandit meant every word, and that's what was killing him. He had become attached to the panda. He had started to fall in love with him, just because he was nice to him, because he showed once again that he could be kind to his enemies. And normally, the idea of Fung finding a mate would be a miracle. Except Po was a warrior, a soldier of justice, and Fung was still a bandit, a proud, cocky thief for life. All he was doing was getting his hopes up for something that could never happen. Besides, Po had done this as a favor to him, there was no way the panda felt the same way as clingy-pathetic him.
Speaking of Po, the panda had finally gathered up his strength and rolled over next to the crocodile, laying out on the ground. "Hey Fung", he spoke up.
The croc bandit sadly looked in his direction, and then, for the second time that night, Po took him by surprise by kissing the burly, rough reptile on the lips, nipping at his maw. When he was done, he flipped Fung over and threw his arms around him, spooning the croc bandit in a warm embrace. "I love you too, man", he whispered affectionately.
Fung, despite his better judgment, cracked a tiny smile. He was still getting his hopes up for something that could never happen, but that didn't matter. The whole reason he had done all this was so could rid himself of any regrets. Kissing Po, becoming his boyfriend, having sex with him, telling him he loved him: he had fulfilled a lifetime of dreams in just one night. And if they really were destined to spend the rest of their lives in solitude, he could die happy in Po's arms.
((()-()))
In the end, death never came for any of them that night. Though Fung wondered which fate would have been worse for him in the end. It turns out Po's teammates found out he had snuck out (like they always did) and their master sent them to go find the panda. They stumbled onto Fung's gang and forced the crocs to tell them everything that happened. It took them a while but they finally found Po's trail when a nearby woodsman reported he heard screams coming from a cave earlier that night. Po and Fung woke up to the sound of rocks being moved and boulders being shattered. They barely had enough time to separate and get dressed.
The Furious Five had brought the authorities with them and Fung was arrested on the site, along with his gang. By then, he had been sent to Chor-Gom so many times he practically had a cell reserved for him, but this was the first time he didn't want to go because he didn't want to leave Po – the first person outside his gang he had ever truly cared about strongly. A wise man once said that with love sometimes came heartbreak. And as Fung sat in his cell, surrounded by his friends and yet still so alone, he found himself relating to that.
((()-()))
Po sighed. Three months had passed since he and Fung shared that fateful night together in the cave, but he hadn't forgotten a single moment of it and he doubted Fung had either. No one ever forgets their first crush.
Ever since he returned to the Valley from his near-death experience, he made sure he acted normally and didn't give anyone any reason to suspect more had gone on between him and Fung than simple fighting and tussling. But he hadn't been quite so convincing.
Sure, he seemed like his chipper and goofy self when he was around his friends, but when he was alone in private he found himself feeling sad and lonely, missing the charming, funny and handsome thief he had allowed himself to love right before he let him go off to prison. And even when he was around company, some of that unhappiness still leaked through his façade. His friends didn't know what was wrong with him, but if anyone ever asked him if something was wrong, he always denied it.
Just like Fung, even when he was with the people he cared about, he felt pretty cold and isolated. Like he did tonight.
Mr. Ping was out of town, so Po had volunteered to watch his shop while he was gone. Now he was lying in his old bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking random thoughts. Suddenly, he heard a clatter downstairs, and a second later a loud 'darn it!' followed.
Po sprang to his feet. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible. But deep down, he knew that it was.
The panda bear ran down the stairs and stepped into the kitchen to find a large, brawny croc bandit bending over a bunch of spoons he had knocked down. Giving up on putting them back where they were, he laughed sheepishly and scratched his scaly green neck. "Um, hi Po", he waved. He looked so nervous around the bear, a whole lot more than he had ever been during their many fights.
"Fung, what are you doing here?", Po exclaimed, torn between immense joy at seeing the croc bandit again and disbelief. But both emotions were quickly replaced by a new one, sourness. "Did you break out again?", he scowled.
When he saw the angry expression on Po's face, Fung looked genuinely hurt by his accusation. "Nah, they let me and the guys out after three months, on good behavior", he explained, moving closer to his rival.
"Then where are they, and why aren't you with them?", Po asked, still suspicious.
Fung sighed. And here he thought Po would be happy to see him again, instead the panda was grilling him and giving him twenty questions. "Right now they're probably in another town looking for a new leader, since I quit being a croc bandit", he informed him.
Po, stunned, now had that same pants-wetting look on his face that Fung was known for. "That's impossible", he replied, disbelief turning into denial.
"It's true, I've gone straight", Fung insisted.
Po looked conflicted again, like he wanted so badly to believe him, but his common sense was keeping him from doing so. So he made sure he controlled his emotions and tried not to let any of his doubts show. Not that it mattered, Fung could still see right through him. "Fung, we've been down this road before, lots of times, and it always ends with you stabbing the gullible Dragon Warrior in the back. You can't go straight", he reminded him.
"I could go straight, if I was with you, Po", Fung reckoned, and he grinned when he saw Po's carefully composed expression slip a little more with confusion.
"I told you the whole reason I became a croc bandit was because I was a loser who had nothing else in life. If nothing else, I was good at busting heads, looting crap and kicking butt. But when I was with you, it was like I had finally found someone who thought I wasn't a screw-up. You convinced me I was good at something other than stealing. You showed me how to be a good boyfriend. You helped give me a purpose, Po. Do you really think I'd just throw all that away?", Fung explained; it was quite possibly the deepest thing the immature croc had ever said. "If giving up being a croc bandit means trading in years of wasted time in jail for a real purpose in life, I'd say it's a fair trade. If you'll have me", he offered hopefully. He knew Po wanted this just as much as he did, he wanted it real bad. He just had to keep on convincing him.
By this point, the panda looked like he was close to giving in. He completely believed Fung now, whether that was a good thing or not was yet to be decided, but he still had his doubts about other things besides the croc's honesty. "Fung, are you sure about this? You love being a bandit, being a clean-cut good guy would drive you crazy", Po reasoned.
"I can find new hobbies. Hopefully something with a little roughhousing", Fung countered, grinning at the thought of throwing his weight around again.
"But-", Po said, about to argue some more with the croc when he cut him off. He had grown tired of this.
"Look Po, maybe I'll go back to my old ways and rob someone tomorrow, shaking them down for some quick cash. Or maybe I won't. Hell, maybe you'll still like me even if I am a crook. It wouldn't surprise me if you liked bad boys - and I know I turn you on. My point is, neither of us have a crystal ball or anything, so there's no point in us sitting around and worrying about what might happen. You're the one who told me finding out what a real relationship is like is worth the risk. So are you gonna give this a shot, Dragon Warrior? Or are you going to keep on being a big scaredy cat and spend the rest of your life playing with your action figures?", Fung challenged.
Po frowned, before his expression morphed into a grin, which then led to a chuckle, before the bear started flat-out laughing. Fung really was starting to rub off on him, just like how he had left his mark on the ex-con. "Alright, alright, you've convinced me", he decided, making his partner's day. "But what's wrong with playing with action figures?", he joked.
Fung rolled eyes and ran towards the panda, eager to embrace him. The croc bandit wasted no time in grabbing Po and wrapping his long, scaly arms around the panda's big, hearty belly, securing the bear in a comfy, loving, masculine embrace. But it wouldn't be a real reunion without a kiss, so Fung (without any hesitation this time) slammed his lips into Po and savored every touch of his lover. Po quickly overtook the croc bandit in enthusiasm, savoring the taste of his lips while glomping the reformed badman against his torso. God, they had missed moments like these so much.
Though it seemed Fung had missed them a little bit more, since in no time at all Po felt something poking him in his plushy stomach. "Aren't we eager?", he joked.
"I've been locked in that prison cell for three months Po, with nothing but my hand and my memories of you to like keep me going. And unfortunately, most of the memories I had of you were about us fighting or… having sex. So yeah, I'm eager", the croc admitted, laughing sheepishly again.
Po placed his hand on Fung's back and led him back towards the stairs to his bedroom. "Don't worry buddy, I know just how to take care of that. Time to make some new memories if you ask me", he suggested, sliding his paw down Fung's back and finally resting it on the crocodile's rather attractive ass, groping his firm butt shamelessly through his pants now that he could do so freely (not that the croc bandit minded, beyond squirming a bit in arousal). In return, as they climbed up the stairs, Fung placed his claws over Po's chest and no-so-subtly slid them down to his mate's crotch, gripping the lead pipe in his shorts and jacking it lightly. They both had a long night ahead of them and a lot of catching up to do.
The Dragon Warrior had proven himself to be very wise. The risk of having a relationship with your enemy had been well worth it in the end, and now both men could live out the rest of their lives happily. Now they just had to find a way to break the news to their friends.
The End.
Author's Notes:
Well that's the end of it. I can't wait to hear what you all think of my first attempt to pair up the croc bandit and the Dragon Warrior. Despite what some of you might be wondering by now, I actually came up with the concept for this story before "Terra Cotta" aired, so when I was watching that episode I was thinking 'huh, my ending is almost the opposite of what happened in that story, that's gonna make a good anecdote for the author's notes'. For those of you who are curious about what my Po/Wolf Boss one-shots were about, I've also released "The Wolf and the Panda" collection today.
I'd like to thank Animation Universe for being such a faithful reviewer of my fics, Wolflover111 for being my muse so to speak, Sindalstar for being such a damn good writer, That Nerd Next Door for being such a good friend and reviewer, Joe 'Po' Navark for all the long and interesting conversations he and I shared about KFP that led to me writing this fic, and Red Aigh, for inspiring me to dig deeper with this puppy and give Po and Fung the sappy ending they both deserved. On a side-note, if any of you have ever showed the slightest bit of interest in a show called "SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron", check out his one-shot "Love Takes Flight". The guy knows his way around slash fics.