"Well, that wasn't your proudest moment," Nan says.

Jack jumps about a foot off of his chair, and gapes at the woman sitting across the desk. "What the hell are you doing here? How'd you get into my office?"

"I can be anywhere I want, Jack. Omniscient observer. That's what it's called.'

"Ob... ob... what?! There you go again—talking like Carter!" He reaches for the phone. "I'm calling security!"

"That won't do any good. But go ahead and try."

He grabs the receiver and claps it to his ear. Then frowns and jiggles the button. "Where's the dial tone...?"

"Sorry." She sounds anything but.

He gets up from his chair and crosses to the door, grabs the doorknob and twists. Nothing happens. The door remains solidly shut. He tries a couple more times, futilely. Raising a fist, he pounds on the panel but the impact produces no sound. After a moment, he stops, stares from the door to his hand. Finally he turns to face his visitor. "Don't tell me. I'm dreaming again."

She nods, a small smile turning up one corner of her mouth.

He leans back against the door, screws his eyes shut, and digs the fingers of both hands into his hair. "Okay. Say what you have to say."

"Uh-uh." She shakes her head. "It's entirely your dream this time. I didn't start this one. Maybe you have something to say."

He drops his arms, and his body language clearly conveys his frustration. "What would I have to say to you!?"

She shrugs. "Well, it's safe to say anything to me. It's not like I can tell anybody else."

His expression becomes, if possible, even more frustrated. "The more you talk, the more confused I get." He pushes away from the door and goes back to his chair, sitting down with a sigh. "Okay. So I screwed up. I couldn't say it. Two little words. And I couldn't force them out of my mouth!" He sits up. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you just write about me telling her I'm sorry?—God, I can't believe I said that! You've got me talking your nonsense!"

Nan laughs until tears come to her eyes. "It doesn't work that way, anyhow, Jack," she finally manages to say. "You see, if you can't say it—then I can't say it for you."

"Huh? What happened to omnipotent? You can make the people you write about do whatever you want them to."

"Omniscient." When he scowls at her, she adds, "Look up the difference. And no, I can't. No more than if my creations were real people."

"Wait a minute! How'd we get back to that? I'm as real as you are—actually realer than you are, since I'm dreaming you!" He clamps his hands to his head again. "Oh, my God! Somebody get me out of this rabbit hole!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

"Jack...?" Another voice, far away. "JACK!"

"What?... What?." Jack opens his eyes, finds himself with his head resting on his outstretched arm, the report he's been working on stuck to his cheek.

"Jack? Are you all right?"

He twists his head and looks up. Daniel is standing in his office door. Jack pushes up from the desktop, shakes his head. "Where is she...?"

"Who, Jack?"

"That woman...Nan..." He stops. "Never mind. I was dreaming, I guess."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah... Didn't sleep very well last night." He rubs his eyes. "What did you need?"

"I was just walking by and heard you talking," Daniel says. "Something about rabbits, I think. Part of the dream?"

"Yeah..."

"Rabbits and some woman named Nan. Must've been an interesting dream."

Jack eyes him coldly. "No, actually. Not at all."

Daniel steps into the office and shuts the door. "You got a minute, Jack?"

"Not really. I gotta finish this report."

"Yeah, you were working hard on that." Daniel sits down in the chair opposite, ignoring Jack's glare.

"Well, now that I've had my nap," Jack says pointedly, "I really should get back to work."

"No, Jack. What you really should do is talk to Sam."

"What d'ya mean? I talk to Sam. She doesn't talk to me."

"Can you blame her?"

"Argh... Come on, Daniel, I just woke up! First Nan, now you!"

Daniel gives him a puzzled look. "Who is this Nan you keep talking about?"

Jack puts his head in his hands. "Nobody you know. Nobody you want to know, believe me!"

"Well, if she's telling you to fix things with Sam, then I like her already," Daniel says with a grin.

"Hey! You're supposed to be my friend! Whose side are you on?"

"I am on your side. And on Sam's side. But you're wrong this time. You didn't back her up, and that was wrong."

"I didn't have a choice," Jack grates between clenched teeth.

"It was still wrong."

"Hammond ordered me to keep out of it!"

"Jack, Simmons brought charges against Sam because she let Orlin go through the stargate!"

"The charges were dismissed," Jack snaps. "You can't stop an ascended being from doing whatever they want to. Besides, the weapon would have killed the team on the planet when it exploded if Orlin hadn't been there to take it away."

"And you should've been saying all that in Sam's defense from the start!"

"You don't understand about orders, Daniel!"

"No, I don't," Daniel says. "Not when they hurt your friends. But you can still fix it, Jack. All you have to do is apologize."

"I tried," Jack mutters.

"What...?" Daniel leans forward.

"I tried," Jack says, louder.

"So... what stopped you."

"Dunno. Just couldn't say the words."

"Oh? Why not?"

Jack says nothing for a few moments. Then finally, "She's just so... intimidating when she's mad... and cold like that."

"You mean Sam? You're scared of Sam?" Daniel bites his lip to keep from smiling.

"No! I'm not scared! Not exactly... Oh, shut up, Daniel!" Jack snaps, because Daniel has lost it, and is laughing like a hyena. This is worse than Nan, he thinks.

"Sorry, Jack..." Daniel wipes his eyes, manages to control himself. "It's just... really funny that you're afraid of Sam..." He is overcome by giggles again.

"Daniel!" Jack warns. "You wouldn't think it was funny if she was looking at you that way!"

Daniel chokes down his laughter. "No... you're right. I wouldn't."

"So, there!"

"Why don't you try calling her?" Daniel suggests. "As soon as she answers, say you're sorry."

"You really think that would work?" Jack looks doubtful.

"What have you got to lose?"

"I'll think about it."

"No. Don't think. Just do it! Here..." Daniel reaches over, grabs the receiver of the phone, punches in Sam's lab extension number and shoves the receiver in Jack's face.

Jack stares at Daniel in shock as the phone buzzes in his ear. Sam answers on the second ring.

"Hello."

Jack's mouth opens and closes once.

"Hello?" Sam repeats. "Anybody there?"

"Carter..." he manages to choke out.

Her voice turns chilly as ice. "Yes, sir. Can I help you?"

"Uh... uh—Daniel wants to speak to you!" Jack shoves the receiver at Daniel, who rolls his eyes in exasperation. Jack pushes it against his ear.

"Hi, Sam," Daniel says.

"Hey, Daniel," she says pleasantly. "What's going on?"

"Jack is having... an anxiety attack." Daniel watches Jack cringe.

"About what?"

"Having to talk to you."

"Good." She hangs up the phone.

Jack buries his head in his arms as Daniel drops the receiver back in the cradle.