Uh... sorry, I was a little intoxicated myself when I wrote the first chapter of this...
Just a little interesting side note. Yori means 'dependance' in Japanese, which fits him well, seeing as drunkies depend on him to give them liquor.
I do not own Naruto, but I do own three six-packs, and some chewing gum.
Here's the next part... enjoy.
The Godaime left her office, which was still stuffed to the brim with backed up paperwork. She made her way through the hallways to another exit, which was also closer to the only place she could drink sake during the day.
She trotted through the street, very able to feel the fact that she had not induced alcohol for almost a week. Desperate for a pleasant buzzing in the back of her head, she (lucky for Shizune) missed all of the people snickering at the beverage-stained Hokage whenever she passed, and also the unusual amount of, at a very brief glance, 'missing' posters in the store windows.
Tsunade lifted the flap of a bar that looked suspiciously like Ichiraku's (for visualization's sake), and popped a squat at a stool. The bartender casually walked up and struggled to keep a straight face. "The usual, Hokage-sama?" He asked. Tsunade didn't seem to hear him.
"Gimme the usual, Yori," she demanded.
"Hai," the bartender reached below the counter and pulled out a bottle of 25 year aged sake, harvested from young rice, handpicked and rid of any impure grains. Tsunade took the shot without even tasting it, and immediately poured herself another. Yori watched the leader of the village get drunk off her ass. As a matter of fact, she looked like a bum.
A big blot of black ink in her hair and forehead, her clothes wrinkled and sticky. Yori looked past the intoxicated Hokage to see Shizune outside ripping from the window, the poster she had just recently put up. Yori had seen that poster all week, and could only assume that the Godaime had seen it recently, too. Well... judging by the audible snippet of profanity from her mansion a few minutes ago that seemed to shake the earth.
Shizune silently scolded Tsunade. She hasn't eaten in 144 hours and the first thing she does is go load up on booze, She shook her head as she glimpsed the leader of the Hidden Leaf Village inside a bar after six days of captivity. Ripping off the poster from the window, she began to do it with less gusto. If Tsunade was drinking, she'd be there for a while.
Then Shizune spied everyone's favorite blue-haired kunoichi peering from behind a market stall at something orange. Now something not everyone realizes is that everybody has an inner-self, though civility and discipline has only beat it into submission. Shizune is no exception. It's that little bitch stalking him again! I'll drive her off, Naruto-koi! She casually walked up to Hinata. "Hello, Hinata, I haven't seen you in a while," Hinata turned her head toward Shizune and gave a weak smile. It's that big bitch come to drive me away from Naruto-koi! Inner Hinata huffed. "What are you looking at?" Shizune craned her neck as if to follow where Hinata's eyes had been pointing.
She seemed to have gained Naruto's attention. He waved and came over, two sticks of recently purchased dango were in his hands. "Ohayo, Shizune-nii(or is it 'nee' for women?)-chan! Hinata-chan! Whatcha doing?" He asked innocently as he walked up.
Hinata gave a little squeak of nervousness. "O-Ohayo, Naruto-kun," She managed.
Shizune acted her normal self. "Ohayo, Naruto-ko–er kun, I was just trying to figure out what Hinata was looking at," she half asked the question to the girl on her left.
Naruto looked to Hinata. "Well? What was it?" He looked at her for a second.
"..."
"What was it, Hinata?" Shizune asked playfully, as she knew full well what it was.
"..."
Naruto had his eyes closed and mouth small in that way that it seems he usually does just before Sakura yells at him. He held a hand out. "Dango?"
"I GOT DIARRHEA!!" She bellowed loud enough to force Naruto's hair to stand straight out behind his head, as well as attracting the stares of everyone in the market. She stood there a minute, then sported a brilliant shade of vermillion. Damn, you Shizune! She shot like a gazelle down the opposite end of the street.
Naruto watched the dustcloud disappearing into the distance as he sweatdropped. "But there's a bathroom right over there!" He pointed to a public restroom ten yards away. He looked to Shizune for an answer.
"Well it worked..." she muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing,"
"Dango?" He extended the arm holding the little balls of food skewered on a stick.
"Thanks," She took the dango and slid a sphere off into her mouth.
BEER IS GOOD! BEER IS GOOD! When it's warm, it tastes real crappy–but cold beer will make me happy. When I throw up on the floor, I can go and drink some more. They say beer will make me dumb. It are go good with pizza. Now that we have drunk some beer, let's go drive a car. BEER IS GOOD! BEER IS GOOD..! (Beer © Psycho Stick)
Okay, honestly. There is a dead serious lesson in this story, and that lesson is this.
Don't spill Red Bull© on your clothes, it's sticky.
Also, there's a link to an AMV on youtube in my profile with the song above to it for anyone who's interested.
Good night, everybody!
–Rai