Konbanwa. What else can I say?

Here's chapter 3.

I do not own Naruto, but I do own two six packs, and some chewing gum.

Tsunade wandered the streets in a tipsy drunken haze that could only be from inducing 19 shots of sake. She rounded a street corner and shielded her eyes from the bright light of a red setting sun enhanced by the hangover that was already itching in her skull. As she meandered aimlessly, many people watched the eccentric with a little anticipation to view what was obviously going to happen.

They got it fast.

The Godaime keeled over face first into the street with a little gasp as a people looked on. Passed out like a baby with a concussion, It began to rain. A man stepped into the street. He removed his blue coat and splayed it atop of the leader of the village, then walked away to do whatever it was he was doing before.

Coincidentally, a hyperactive demon capsule and the Hokage's own assistant also rounded the same corner with their arms piled high of ripped-down posters. "Hokage-sama!" Shizune dropped her pile to the mud on the ground and rushed to her side. Naruto did likewise.

Shizune kneeled down in the mud and slapped Tsunade twice in the face. She bolted up and unloaded the contents of her stomach into an oncoming Naruto's face. "MY EYES!!" he squealed. His hands flew up to his face and clutched his sake soaked eye sockets. "Get me a spoon! I need to gauge them out! aaAAAHHHHhh!"

Shizune ignored him for a moment. "Tsunade-sama! Are you alright?" She questioned.

Tsunade laid back on the ground and looked up at Shizune through half closed eyelids. "Tell Jiraya… I'll always hate him…" she made a throaty 'gack' sound and closed her eyes.

"NOOOOOO!!" Shizune cried woefully. "Wait, can I have your shoes? I like your shoes," she shook the Hokage. Tsunade opened her eyes slightly.

"No,"

"NOOOOOOOO!!" Tsunade made a 'gack' sound again and Shizune cradled her head against her bosom. It was then that a stumbling, blinded Naruto tripped over her and knocked himself out on the sidewalk. Shizune weeped as the two lay still, and a crowd started to gather. She wiped her eyes off and stood, sniffling slightly. "I LOVE THOSE SHOES!" She yelled to the sky. "WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME THOSE DAMN SHOES?!" She slung Tsunade and Naruto over her back and shoulders, then departed to the Hokage manor through an aisle formed by the crowd.

Ugh, what's that damn light? It's so bright! Tsunade shielded her eyes and cracked them open. Her head pulsed and felt like it was imploding slowly. Starlight, she thought. I am going to have SUCH a bad hangover tomorrow. She shifted to a more comfortable position in her bed, yelped in pain from the movement, and went to sleep.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tsunade's head now felt like it was being put through a grain thresher. She rolled helplessly on the bed screaming, as if that might somehow relieve the pain. Finally, her head was enveloped in green chakra and she stopped thrashing.

Shit,

Something smelled like lilacs. Where the hell was he?

Naruto was on something that was actually soft. Perhaps a real bed? There was also something on his chest, not to heavy, and also soft. A hospital bed, he decided. I'm in a hospital bed. He clutched what he assumed was a pillow on his chest a little harder. He heard a small groan. "Naruto…" His eyes snapped open. He found that he was not in a small hospital bed, but a rather large bed in a rather nice house. And as he looked down, his eyes turned to the size of dinner plates. What he had assume was a pillow on his chest was actually Shizune's half-clothed torso. He took a sharp intake of breath and then hesitated before yelling: "WHAT the HELL?!"

Shizune woke immediately, and then ripped a kunai from under her mattress, wild-eyed. "AA! Count Chocula's comin' to get me--! Oh," she stopped when she saw Naruto. Their eyes met for about two seconds.

Then they both shrugged. "Meh," they said together, and both went back to sleep.

Yes, I am full of Guiness as I write this, and will probably look over this tomorrow asking myself what the hell I was thinking. And after that, the last part of this chapter will probably be gone when I'm sober, but what can you do, ne?

Gonnight, everybody!

--Rai