Okay. Well, here's the polls so far:
Ayame: 1
Hanabi: 1
Ino: 1
…
Does anyone even read this fic, or are you just indifferent?
Okay, well, seeing as I'm pulling an all-nighter for you guys, I'll increase the poll deadline to chapter eight. You guys had better appreciate this. I've got to choke down 250 mL of Red Bull© just to stay up. That stuff is like nasty, carbonated, liquefied, drywall flavored caffine!
I do not own Naruto, nor the three six packs and chewing gum I owned in the last four chapters. I ate them all. I do, however, own a laptop and a very nice cardboard box to live in.
Stupid Quote of the Day: "Authentic ramen sucks!"
Haku looked from his left to his right. He finally spotted someone he knew. "Sakura-san!" He trotted to the pink-haired kunoichi.
She turned to him. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?" she asked indifferently.
Haku gave a little mushroom breath. "Please don't ask. Just tell me quick, what does 'getting laid' mean?" She immediately pointed accusingly at him.
"F(beep)king pervert!" she screeched, pulling a cattle prod out of nowhere, she jabbed his arm, sending an electric jolt through his body.
"Aa!" he yelped and fled her presence, only to be pursued.
"I'll teach you to talk to me like that! Come back here, Haku!"
A group of onlookers sweatdropped, watching a girl with pink hair poke a shemale with a cattle prod.
Elsewhere, an unconscious Kage was in a hospital bed, being watched by Shizune, and Jiraya. "You know, she really needs help. She can't go on like this," Shizune said soberly. Jiraya nodded in agreement.
"I've been looking into it. I think I may have a solution. You ever heard of AA?" He inquired.
"American Airlines?"
Jiraya smacked her upside the head. "Alcoholics Anonymous,"
"Oh," Shizune said stupidly, rubbing the back of her head. "well how's that going to help?"
"You don't get out much, do you?"
"So?"
"What?!" came a high screech from the Godaime. She was awake now, and sitting up. Jiraya and Shizune had just explained it to her. "But I don't want to quit! I love my sake!" She hugged a plushie of a sake bottle to her chest.
"Hokage-sama, I've looked through the receipts you've saved over the past sixteen years, and I've come to the conclusion that you've spent more money on sake then what's in Konoha's treasury, as well as what the entire plastic wrap and temporary tattoo industries are worth put together," Shizune held up a scroll of paper with an extensive addition problem scribbled over it.
"The entire temporary tattoo industry?!" Tsunade asked, shocked.
"The entire temporary tattoo industry," Jiraya said cooly.
"But… I love sake! And besides, I'm too old to quit now," She reasoned.
"Tsunade-sama! You've always told me not to take the half-assed way out! Take your own advice, now you're going to start going to AA meetings!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Okay, there's chapter… God, I don't even know anymore, I'm cranking these out faster than I can count… ah, yes. This is chapter six.
Okay, well, I've done some reading on how to write funny, so with a little help from Bill Bryson and Lois-Ann Yamanaka, I hope that I will start to do better.
Notice! 3/30/07: The next update will be slow on account of the facts that 1) I have writer's block 2) Spring Break is almost over 3) I damn near broke my finger on a foozball table and can only type with my right hand for about a week. Sorry everybody!
Don't forget to vote on Haku's pairing!
And please r&r.
--Rai