a/n: Many thanks to Court81981 and MalTease for reviewing an early version of this chapter and for their very helpful feedback.
Two more chapters after this one. Thank you so much for reading along. All of your reviews, follows, and favorites mean so much to me.
Peeta and Finnick get out of the truck and walk towards the convenience store.
Mountain Mart, it's called. It's a crappy little store, but it's the only store of any kind within ten miles of their campsite. As such, they visit it daily.
Never before for this specific purpose, though.
Just as Peeta's about to open the front door, he freezes. He realizes he can't go through with it.
He turns to Finnick and tells him he's changed his mind.
Finnick just rolls his eyes. He yanks open the door and unceremoniously shoves Peeta inside.
Peeta notices right away that the cashier has to be at least seventy years old if she's a day, and his stomach sinks.
Finnick inclines his head towards him. "Look," he says, conspiratorially. "I'll get the fishing bait and the beer. You get the stuff for dinner… and the other stuff." He places special emphasis on the last two words. "We'll meet outside afterwards. All right?" He elbows Peeta in the ribs and smirks at him.
It occurs to Peeta that bringing Finnick along for this was probably a mistake. But there's nothing he can do about it now.
Finnick claps Peeta on the back, and strides off towards the beer display in the back of the store.
Peeta lingers near the front door for a long moment after that, wiping his sweaty palms on his pant legs. He pretends to be engrossed in the magazines.
But in truth, he really doesn't care about Taylor Swift's fashion tips, or that Kirstie Allie was recently spotted wearing a bikini.
After another few minutes he decides he's put off the inevitable long enough. He takes a deep breath and slowly wanders over to the aisle with the condoms.
There's only one brand to choose from, and Peeta breathes a sigh of relief. He won't have to decide what kind to get, at least.
He makes a quick mental note that there are eight in a box and grabs one. He tries to hide the box under his arm as he wanders the store, absent-mindedly collecting items for dinner.
After he has a bag of chips, a six-pack of diet coke, and a package of hamburger buns, Peeta approaches the register, and the ancient woman behind it, and plunks everything down on the counter. He takes his phone out of his pocket and pretends to text someone so he doesn't have to make eye contact with her.
His heart is pounding. He wonders if she can hear it.
She punches some buttons on her register and tells him it comes to $31.75. Peeta pulls forty dollars from his wallet and glances up as he hands her the money.
As she takes it from him, she looks right at him with one eyebrow raised.
And with that, Peeta suddenly realizes that this old lady knows. That she just fucking knows.
He quickly grabs his purchases.
Without waiting for either his change or Finnick, he bolts from the store.
On their drive back up the mountain, Peeta tries to calm himself down by looking at the scenery.
But all he can think about is whether he bought the wrong kind after all. Katniss hadn't been specific, and it's not like he knows what the hell he's doing.
At least Finnick has the decency not to give him any more shit as he drives.
They pull up to Katniss' and Peeta's campsite fifteen minutes later.
After parking the truck, Finnick takes the nightcrawlers and beer out of the back seat. "I'll see you guys at dinner," he says.
Katniss appears, crawling out of the tent, at the sound of Finnick's voice. She walks up behind Peeta and puts her arm around him. She tucks herself into his side.
Peeta turns to look at her. He swallows audibly, his recent purchase heavy in his back pocket.
"See you later, Finn," Katniss says, waving goodbye with her free hand.
When Finnick is out of sight, Katniss turns to Peeta and smiles nervously.
"Hi," she says. The note of shyness in her voice tugs at his heart.
"Hey," he says in response.
"Did you…?" she begins to ask, and trails off. She looks away, and a blush starts to rise on her cheeks.
Peeta nods. If he had a mirror he knows he'd see a blush on his own cheeks that matched hers.
She looks up at him again and closes the distance between them. She cradles his face in her hands and kisses him, gently, on the lips.
After a moment she breaks away, her eyes half-lidded and dark.
But Peeta pulls her back to him. He kisses her again, more forcefully this time, twining his tongue with hers and winding one hand through her long dark hair.
Trying to conjure up bravery that he does not feel, he snakes his other hand down and palms her ass, squeezing gently. Katniss whimpers. His cock twitches once, hard, against the fabric of his boxers at the sound.
Wordlessly, and without breaking the kiss or letting him go, Katniss slowly backs herself towards the tent.
He follows her inside.
Peeta tries so hard to hang on.
He tries to think about baseball. About Algebra.
But it doesn't help.
Because Katniss is moving over him now, and her breasts are bouncing against his chest, and her legs are wrapped around him, and her beautiful tight body is squeezing him, pulling him, stroking him. With each movement of her hips she invades his every thought, all his memories, everything he's ever believed, and she leaves him helpless, panting, starving.
He can hear himself moan incoherently when she starts to speed up. His fingertips dig into her hips involuntarily.
"Come for me," Katniss pants into his ear. "Please." And he squeezes his eyes shut, both desperate to stay with her and desperate to let go.
She leans forward and sucks one of his nipples into her mouth. She bites down gently and swirls her tongue.
The world explodes and he comes apart with a cry.
Afterwards, Peeta tries to help her finish too.
But even after spending most of the past three days worshiping nearly every inch of her body, her body still confuses him. And he can't quite manage it.
She asks him, a little sheepishly, if it would be all right if she took over.
Peeta watches, mesmerized, as she quickly circles her clit with her fingers. She takes his hand and wordlessly encourages him to insert two fingers as she plays with herself.
It isn't much longer before her entire body clamps down around him and she arches her back off the ground. Peeta thinks that her face, in this moment, is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.
As she tries to catch her breath, Peeta brushes her hair back from her face. He tenderly, reverently, kisses her forehead, the tip of her nose, and each cheek.
Feeling a little chagrined at his incompetency, Peeta promises her that he'll get it right next time.
At his words, Katniss pulls his face down to hers and kisses his lips.
"You already have, Peeta," she tells him quietly. "You already have."
She falls asleep in his arms, her hair tickling his nose.
Peeta stays awake, lost in thought, holding her as she naps.
He doesn't know what name to give what he and Katniss are to each other now. Words have always meant a lot to him, and this ambiguity bothers him.
However, he suspects Katniss wouldn't want to talk about it if he brought it up. And the last thing he wants to do is chase her away again.
He wonders, briefly, if not naming this is actually what's giving her the courage to stick around and be with him in the first place.
In the end, Peeta decides to be patient. To wait a while before initiating this conversation.
After all, he's not even certain what he wants to call this.
He kisses the top of her head as she dreams. Breathes her in. Relishes the feel of her body in his arms.
This - whatever this is - is enough for now.
They meet Annie, Finnick, and Johanna at the lake for a barbecue that evening. Peeta mans the grill while the girls and Finnick play in the water.
Annie protested this arrangement at first. She said that they should all take turns at the grill. But Peeta said he didn't mind being in charge and encouraged Annie to join the others. He misses cooking, he told her. He wants to do this.
While all of that is true, Peeta's real motivation is that he doesn't know how to swim. Being in the water terrifies him. It always has.
And Finnick's a goddamn fish out there.
Although Peeta knows Finnick is completely enamored with Annie, he also doesn't want to look like an idiot by comparison in front of Katniss.
Peeta sits down on the picnic bench as the burgers cook. He leans back and puts his hands behind his head.
He looks out over the water. He sees Katniss with their new friends, as radiant as the sun in her two-piece bathing suit.
When she notices him looking at her she walks out of the lake and towards him. Peeta's eyes are drawn to her bare legs as she moves gracefully across the beach.
She joins him on the bench and starts brushing off the sand that clings to her wet feet.
"Finnick had an interesting idea just now," she tells him, grabbing a towel off the table. She squeezes the water from her hair and dries herself off.
"Oh?" Peeta asks. He picks up a nearby tube of sunblock and squeezes some into his palm. He starts rubbing it into her shoulders.
He knows she just applied sunblock twenty minutes ago and doesn't need more now. But he can't seem to keep his hands to himself anymore when she's around him.
"Yeah," she says. She turns away from him to give him better access to the back of her neck and shoulders. He can't help but grin to himself at her complicity as he works the lotion into her skin.
"He says we should go with them to Iowa," she continues. "I think we should, Peeta. They're leaving tomorrow, and I think it would be fun to hang out with them some more."
Peeta doesn't say anything for a long moment. He continues to rub her back in small circles as he thinks.
"Iowa?" he eventually asks. "I mean, sure. Why not?" He shrugs. "Never been there before, and this way we'd have a place to crash for a while. And these guys are great. So… sure." He stops rubbing her back and puts his chin on her shoulder from behind her. He kisses her neck. "Let's do it."
"I want to call home before we go, Peeta," she tells him.
His stomach lurches. He moves away from her a little. "Call home?" he asks weakly. "But… why?"
"It's been a week now," she says. "I mean, really, I need to call home. Let my mom know I'm ok, at least."
Peeta doesn't respond.
"You should call home too," she tells him gently. "Just to let them know you're alive and safe and… and everything."
He looks at her. "What if they ask me when I'm coming home, Katniss?" he asks. "I don't know how to answer that."
Katniss nods. She takes his hands in hers.
"Just let them know you're safe," she says. "The rest can wait until you're sure."
He turns away from her and buries his face in his hands.
But Peeta eventually admits to Katniss, and to himself, that she's right.
They've been gone for a week. They've been ignoring the phone calls and the texts long enough. He owes it to his family to let them know he's ok.
He begs Katniss to stay with him when he calls, though. He doesn't think he can do this alone.
Katniss agrees right away. "Of course," she says. "I'll be right beside you the whole time."
She puts her hand on his arm. He closes his eyes. He tries to summon strength from her touch.
He takes a deep breath to steady his nerves and punches his home number into his phone.
His mother picks up on the first ring.
"Peeta?" she says. She sounds alarmed. Concerned, even. Peeta lets his guard down infinitesimally.
"Hi, Mom," he says. He clears his throat. He looks at Katniss, and she nods at him. "Yeah, it's… it's me."
"Where the hell are you?" she demands. Clearly angry now, all trace of concern gone from her voice.
The mother he remembers.
Peeta ignores her question and begins the speech he prepared with Katniss' help.
"I'm all right, Mom," he says. He closes his eyes again. "I'm fine. I'm with Katniss Everdeen and we're… we're on a road trip. We've met some new friends and-"
His mother cuts him off with a string of obscenities. She tells him that he's put them all through hell, but that she shouldn't have been surprised because he's always been worthless and stupid.
She informs him that he has exactly two days to return home. If he's not back by then, she'll be deactivating his phone and changing the locks on the house.
"If you want to play at being out on your own, then fine," she spits at him. "See how it is on your own. Be my guest."
"But – but Mom! We're at least four days away from –"
She hangs up on him before he can finish the sentence.
Peeta takes the phone away from his ear slowly. He stares at it silently for a long moment.
"Peeta?" Katniss asks. She sounds worried. "What did your mom say?"
"She said…" he begins, slowly.
He trails off, and shakes his head, the enormity of his situation suddenly bearing down on him so heavily he can hardly breathe.
"She said to have fun in Iowa," he finally mumbles.