Chapter 4: A Heartbeat

Emma had her arms crossed over the small bulge as she sat up on the table in the infirmary. She hated these once a month checkups. She was now in her twentieth week. From what the doctor had told her after another eight weeks she would have a doctor's visit every two weeks.

She hated a lot these days, she hated the fact that she was starting to show all ready. It bugged her. She wanted to do her time and have that be the end of it. She didn't want to have some kind of neon sign that said 'look at me I'm pregnant and in jail' which is what her bulge was starting to seem like.

Emma sighed and she knew her hate was unreasonable. She thought back to when she had decided to keep her baby. Though she had eight weeks from the time she found out till eight weeks later, by the second week Emma had made the decision not to have the child aborted.

It wasn't the child's fault that any of this had happened. It hadn't been asked to be brought into the world. It was just a child of unfortunate circumstance or it would have been a child of fortunate circumstance had she not gotten caught in the first place.

"You're awfully quiet," said Dr. Karina Mendez.

And Emma remained so.

"Okay I'm going to put the gel on now," she said motioning to Emma's arms.

Emma placed her arms to the side as Dr. Mendez lifted up Emma's shirt revealing her bare skin and the small bump near the center. Though the denial was gone Emma couldn't bring herself to look at her stomach, her head turned to the side so that she wasn't facing the ultrasound machine, the anger and hatred still there on occasion especially on days like today when her doctor's visits only added to the reminder that she was pregnant.

Dr. Mendez moved the device over the spread of the gel and turned on the ultrasound. She waited and moved the device again until she found what she was looking for, the thrumming tiny heart beat safety tucked away inside Emma's uterus.

"That's your baby," Dr. Mendez said in response to the sound. "Do you want to know the baby's sex?"

Again more silence. Dr. Mendez turned off the machine and cleaned Emma's stomach with a towel. Emma then placed her shirt back down careful not to touch her child's resting place.

"Miss Swan, I know this is difficult for you believe me. I have seen many women come through here, some even younger than yourself but you chose to keep this baby. You can get through this. I'm going to talk to some people, see if I can get you a counselor."

This time Emma turned to face Dr. Mendez. "I'm not crazy."

"I never said you were. I just think it might be best if you talked to someone. For the next six months you're in charge of this life. We can help and provide you with what you need but the baby's home is inside you so you have to do what you can to make sure it stays healthy. And you may be in charge of its life for the next eighteen years if that's what you decide but for now you are responsible. No one else can do this for you."

"And if I don't talk to the shrink?"

"What goes on in session does remain confidential just like it would on the outside but as your current physician it's what I'm recommending. It might help to deal with this. You're not the first to go through this or the first to be recommended to counseling and you certainly won't be the last. I just think it might help."

Dr. Mendez smiled, "You can stand up now," she said to Emma as she nodded toward the doorway where Loretta was waiting to take Emma back to her cell.

"I'll see you in two weeks," the doctor said to her.

"Yeah," Emma replied as she made her way to the door.

Author's Note: For Emma's time in prison I have decided to use the same set up that I had in chapter 7 of my Emma fanfic, 'Dear Santa'.