A/N: This chapter shows just how deep Hephaistion's awe and friendship for Alexander goes. It's more emotional and raw, something we may have come to expect from our soldier so loyal.

Don't own them, never will.

Reviews always welcome.

Chapter 5

We marched into lands further unknown. Over 100 miles, and Alexander founded his tenth Alexandria. To see the buildings being erected in his name was incredible. We were surrounded with all this beauty and wealth, yet some nights I would be beckoned to Alexander's tent, in hopes that I could be the one to stop the terrors he was experiencing.

"Hephaistion, you must come quickly," Roxanne begged me. This was certainly uncharacteristic of her. I was certain she despised me. As soon as I saw the look in her eyes I knew it was serious. She looked genuinely frightened. "Please Hephaistion… I would not ask if it were not a serious issue…"

"Why not ask Bagoas?" I muttered, attempting to turn over. I had not lost respect for Alexander, but I did not respect the choices he had made. He had taken a wife, Roxanne, who was not of Macedonian nobility; in fact she was of no political importance, and he had a eunuch. This is Bagoas. A rather good looking young man, actually. I'm sure that were he not a eunuch, plenty of women would want to go to bed with him. No, this was not an uncommon practice; many others that I knew had eunuchs. In fact, had I been allowed I would have had the opportunity to take one myself. But I knew deep down I would never do such a thing.

There I go, digressing once again.

"Bagoas can do nothing," Roxanne insisted to me, "he has tried, by the Gods, he has tried, but Alexander insists on seeing you and only you…"

Rolling my eyes, I got up and made haste to his tent. Whence I arrived, I saw him curled into a tight ball, shaking and tears running down his face.

"Alexander," I whispered, going over to his shaking body, kneeling, and putting my hand on his back. "My Achilles, what troubles you?"

The wretched sobs came once more before he could speak. "Blood…"

"What about blood?"

"So much blood…"

My eyes narrowed, trying to understand.

"That young soldier, Glaukas, too young…"

"Glaukas was a casualty of war, Alexander." I repeated. "His legs were broken, his eye gone, there was nothing you could do…"

"I… held… him…" his breath caught in his throat. "I held him whilst another drove a spike through the back of his neck…"

"The most humane way to die in the condition he was in…" I told him in a desperate attempt for him to see my way of thinking. "He felt nothing, and you buried him like you did the others." I turned to Roxanne and Bagoas, my eyes flashing. Not with anger, with concern.

"I pray you, give us leave." I mouthed to them both.

Bagoas hung his head in respect and backed out to another part of the tent. Roxanne did the same, albeit begrudgingly.

Once they had left, I laid down beside my Achilles and wrapped my arms around him.

"You are not weak…"

Silence.

"Alexander?" I brought my ear closer to his mouth.

Gentle snoring.

For all his grief, he had fallen asleep in mine arms.

See, all this I remember, but for what? For all it is worth Alexander does not pay attention to me as he used to.

Oh, do not misunderstand me; I do not need Alexander to make me feel wanted. I am a grown man, and I am capable of living and loving myself enough to not need him to sustain my very life breath.

But is Alexander capable of the same? Of this I am not sure. He needs me. He needs Bagoas and Roxanne as well. As children he and I used to say that we would never be apart.

And by the Gods and all that I worship, I hope it is true.