A/N: Perhaps this chapter should be rated M as well! This chapter deals with the aftermath of Cassander delivering the news to Hephaistion, and offers a glimpse into Heshaylae's paternatity. Take this information for what you will, but it develops the plot and a new plotline could emerge.

Don't own them, never will. Orginial characters are mine, blah blah yada.

Reviews always welcome.

Chapter 10

Suddenly I had lost all feeling in my legs. It was a fortunate thing we had been sitting, because otherwise I would have fallen to the floor. I set my goblet of wine on the table in front of me, not able to utter anything else.

"How?" I managed.

"Twas his heart…" Cassander informed me. "His heart, Hephaistion, it gave out."

"Does the physician know what from?"

Cassander shook his head, taking a sip of his wine. "I think, by my own speculation, he may have very well drunk himself to death."

I raised an eyebrow, not in mourning, but rather skepticism. "Did he drink it unmixed?"

"Many a time," Cassander answered. Seeing the dead expression in my eyes, he did not believe what he was seeing.

"Matters he not to you?"

The look in my eyes answered his query. Alexander was dead; he had been dead to me for several years. Whether he was actually dead and buried did not matter to me now. I sat back, my face still stoic.

"He entered a depression after you left."

"He brought it upon himself…" I bit my tongue to keep from spewing obscenities. I may sound bitter, but you know as well as I do that I shan't ever admit to it.

"But you do care…" Cassander answered. It was more a statement than a question.

Silence from my lips.

"You would not act so hostile if you did not care."

"He is dead to me!" I felt the cry rip from deep within my chest, realizing for the first time since boyhood that I no longer cared for the man who had taken an army ten thousand miles to the end of the Earth. The look on Cassander's face told a thousand stories. A man changed by war, by love, by rejection, by blood. He was clearly not a man expecting the words that left my mouth.

"Hephaistion…" he reached out to me. His hand resting on my thigh, he looks me in the eye. "If you did not feel hurt that he is gone you would not act this way."

I hurled my wine goblet to the floor. "How in the name of Hades did you deduce such a thing?" I shouted. "I told you, and I shall tell you once more… Alexander has been dead to me for several years… I do not care that he is dead and buried. It has no meaning to me anymore!" With that, I retreated to my bedchamber.

I heard Heshaylae speaking to Cassander as he got up. "To deliver such news, Cassander, son of Antipator." She bent down and placed the wine goblet back on the table. "At such an important time to Hephaistion."

"What makes this time so important?"

"Tis almost a year since he returned, Cassander," she answered. "He has just begun to have his children trust that he will not abandon them…"

I assumed Cassander nodded, kissed Shaye on the cheek, and departed. By the time Heshaylae had put the children into their beds, it was well into the night and I feigned sleep.

I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Phai…" she whispered to me. "Something troubles you…" It was not an intruding statement. Heshaylae was as intelligent as they come, she could read me like a book. "Speak to me, Phai, what brings about this sudden change?"

I sat up on the pillow, and turned my body to face the woman I loved in the eyes. "It would not trouble me so if I did not share a past with the man…" I answered.

"Speak you of Alexander?"

I shook my head. Her eyes told me she had deduced the only other option. "Cassander?" she asked. "Have you lain with Cassander?"

I nodded my head in answer to her question.

She leaned forward, rolled me over so that she lay on top of me, and kissed my forehead.

"I do not blame you," she smiled as she kissed me again. "Cassander is quite a handsome man." Again, she said this between kisses to my lips. "I do not judge you for the choices you have made." Soon my hands had moved to lift her nightdress over her head, which then landed on the floor. "Though I must say, those choices have led you to become such a skilled lover…"

I could not contain myself. I found myself responding to her kisses, gently gripping her forearms and rolling her again so that I may be the penetrative partner. My hands traveled to her breasts, where I took one nipple in my forefinger and thumb, gently coaxing it until she was thrusting her hips forward.

"Oh by the Gods!" her whispers in my ear as her eyes rolled back in arousal. Somehow she managed to stop me, slip herself beneath the blankets, and I felt her mouth enclose around the head of my penis. I felt her hot tongue slide across the tip, and I was close to gratification. So much at this point, that I wanted to stop her, roll her over, and penetrate her almost immediately.

But I did not want to harm her. I could feel myself beginning to shake in orgasm, and soon I felt hers as well. It had been quite a while since Heshaylae and I had achieved something so meaningful through our bodies. Though tonight, twas different. This night I was letting go of all the pain, hurt, and bitterness I had kept locked deep inside myself for so long. Being with Shaye gave my life some sort of purpose. She, as a lover and the mother of my children, was so beautiful to me. There were no words to accurately describe how much I wanted to take her as my wife. I had not done so, though we had two children.

Many had expected me to take her as my concubine, but I could do no such thing. I could never live with myself knowing that I would have been treating her as a whore, whilst I thought so much more of her.

Now, as she lay in my arms, I began to wonder.

Was all that I had in my possession a dream? Was it nothing more than a fantasy I had wished to come true? If I were to pinch myself, would I awaken from this dream and realize that nothing was real?

As Heshaylae slept in my arms, I reached around and pinched myself just to be sure.

The pinch stung.

I was not dreaming, but I needed to be cautious. It was as though at anytime something, or someone for that matter, possessed the power to take away all that I had worked so hard for.

As I drifted into sleep, all these thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind as I held the women I loved.

Because you see, Heshaylae was the daughter of none other than Cleitus the Black.