Chapter 10: Son of a Savior

With a few weeks to go Emma had been moved from her regular cell and into the labor and delivery section of the facility. The room was slightly bigger than her cell and more accommodating.

There were a couple magazines on the counter next to her which she had all ready gone through several times over. There was also a book of Disney collections which held the Disney versions of Aladdin, The Lion King, Pocahontas and those that were more classic stories such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.

Emma hadn't gotten much sleep in the night. David had been kicking up a storm. Though she still had a few weeks till her due date Emma wondered just how anxious the kid was to get out. She wondered if it was starting to get cramped inside.

She propped herself up and looked at her belly. Could a woman really get this huge with just one child? Though Emma had known some of the information on pregnancy on her own, not much about it had been taught to her growing up. It wasn't that easy and most people didn't care one way or another. Some foster homes had at least tried to be civil but for the most part you were just there so the family could get paid. It didn't matter to them what you learned in life or not.

Getting her first period hadn't been exactly easy either. Emma had been freaking out when she got hers and it hadn't been an adult who explained it to her but rather an older girl in the system with her who just brushed it off when Emma mentioned it and sent her on her way by tossing a pad.

This was a completely different field of experience though and despite having come to accept her circumstances Emma still wished, however deep inside that was, that she didn't have to experience it at all or if she had to then anywhere but here.

Emma looked at the book of Disney stories sitting on the table. The problem with those stories was that they were all orphans. Aladdin had grown up on the streets not knowing who his parents were, Simbas' father had died and he had wandered off only to end up with an odd pairing who became his family, Cinderella had a family but one that didn't care, there was never much about Snow White's history in the stories she had become familiar with in her life but Emma imagined that she had a family for a while before they were somehow taken away from her.

But they all got their happy endings, Emma thought.

Rubbing the spot where David had kept kicking Emma sighed.

"I bet you're ready to get out of there aren't you? I'm ready too. At the same time I'm not. The longer you're in there the longer your mine." A tear began to trace down Emma's cheek. "I can't be selfish for once kid, I have to do right by you. I have to give you your best chance but it's not with me." Emma continued to rub her belly. "Maybe someday you'll understand."

Emma continued on in silence, her tears and sobs the only noise though she tried to silence it.

About ten minutes later her sobbing had calmed down but the tears were still flowing. Damn hormones.

"Good morning momma," Dr. Mendez said with a smile as she came into the room. She saw the sadness and the dried up tears on Emma's face. "Everything okay dear, you're not in pain are you?"

Emma looked up at the ceiling. "No nothing like that."

Dr. Mendez placed a hand on Emma's. "Then what is it?"

Emma looked at her doctor. "I'm giving him up. I'm giving up my baby. Can you take care of that for me?"

Dr. Mendez, "Are you sure this is what you really want?"

Emma looked down and rested her left hand on her bulge. "No but it's not about me is it?" Dr. Mendez squeezed Emma's hand. "And one more thing, I don't want to know where he ends up just make sure he's placed with an actual family. I don't want him to have the kind of life I did."

Dr. Mendez smiled at Emma. "That can be done."

Emma spoke again to her unborn son, "I'm sorry David." Emma took her left hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it and then placed it on her belly.

[Two Days Later]

Myra Hernandez walked into the trailer on site.

"Excuse me," she said to Aaron. "I'm looking for a Neal Cassidy. I was told I could find him here."

Aaron looked up at the woman. "And who are you?"

Myra stuck out her hand, "Myra Hernandez and I'm afraid I can't discuss this matter with anyone but Neal."

Aaron looked at her again but nodded. He stood up and began walking toward the door.

"Give me a second," he said. He opened the door and shouted across the way. "Cassidy, my office now!"

Some of the guys looked at Neal but he shrugged it off as he made his way to his brother's trailer.

"You couldn't wait, I've got some bricks on that cement and if they're not placed right-,"

"The others can handle it, I need you in here."

"What's going on Quip," he asked once he was inside the trailer.

Aaron nodded in Myra's direction.

"Neal Cassidy," she asked.

"Who wants to know?"

She stuck out her hand, "Myra Hernandez, Department of Human Services." Neal shook it. "I was wondering if I might have a word in private."

She looked at Aaron as did Neal.

Aaron placed his hands in his back pockets. "Well alright then, I might as well go get my hands dirty or something."

Neal walked over and took a seat at Aaron's desk the moment he left.

"What can I do for you Miss Hernandez?"

She took a seat across from him. "I'm here about Emma Swan." Neal froze at the sound of her name. "I'm sure you're aware of her condition." Neal just nodded. "Miss Swan has agreed to give up the baby. When a mother decides said choice we usually like to locate family members of the mother and child before the child is placed just so that there's no misunderstanding."

Neal's mind was reeling. So Emma had decided to give up the baby. Neal was beside himself. He thought he'd have more time. For months all he could think about was Emma and their baby but now that a time was coming he would soon have to make a choice of his own. There was only one option, there always had been since the moment he found out Emma was pregnant.

"I'll take the baby," Neal said flat out.

"Mr. Cassidy that's very noble but Miss Swan specifically asked for a closed adoption."

"Then do it. Lie to her or put me as the baby's family in that closed adoption file or whatever you have to do. I want my baby."

"Mr. Cassidy, do you know what you're asking for? Taking on a child is a big responsibility. And even if you could child protective services would have to be the one to take over your case. We can't just hand the child over to you."

"I can take care of him. I've got a job, a descent place to live. I even have a few things that the baby might need."

"You've thought about this a while haven't you?"

Neal shrugged, "I got the stuff just in case. Emma may not be able to take care of the baby but I can. Please, I'm the baby's father. I don't want my kid to have the same kind of life Emma did. I may not have much but I can provide him with a home. The baby should be with part of its family even if it can't be with its mother. Please."

Myra sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

[A week and a half later]

"So you finally decided," said Dr. Mitchell.

"Yeah," Emma said her arms crossed over her belly as they usually were when she was in Dr. Mitchell's office.

"And how are you handling that?"

"Does it really matter? I made my choice."

"You could always decide to reverse it."

"No I can't. I know he's better off without me. I'm no good for him." Emma looked up at the ceiling. "God, I said I didn't want to be like them but I'm doing exactly that. I'm giving away my kid because I can't handle him. What kind of person does that make me?"

"A mother," Dr. Mitchell said simply.

Emma scoffed, "I'm not his mother, I'm just the person about to give birth to him, it doesn't mean anything."

"Oh I don't believe that. If it didn't mean anything you would still be in denial over the whole thing, you wouldn't have named him if you hadn't gotten attached." This time Emma looked at Dr. Mitchell. Dr. Mitchell folded her hands in front of her. "I've known many doctors and other psychologists that work in these types of situations. Most usually tell the inmates to consider themselves as surrogates but I've never believed that. Despite the legalities, you are still his mother. You've taken care of him for nine months, you've kept him healthy, and you've kept him alive. You may not be keeping him but you've all ready done enough by simply bringing him into the world when you could've chosen not to."

Emma thought on the words for a moment. Maybe Dr. Mitchell was right. Soon Emma would no longer have any legal right to David but she was still his mother in some sense. He was made from part of her and nothing could take that kind of bond away. He had shared her body for nine months.

Still nine months was meaningless when you added in a lifetime of uncertainty.

David began kicking hard. Emma winced as she curved over her stomach. Something felt wrong. Emma could feel a wetness begin to trickle down the seams of her sweat pants. Dr. Mitchell watched for a second as a pile of umbilical fluid made its way to the floor. She immediately walked over to the door.

"I need some help in here!" she called to no one in particular.

Dr. Mitchell then returned and helped Emma to a standing position.

"I'm not due for another week," Emma said as she started to panic.

Dr. Mitchell smiled, "Sometimes nature likes to outwit science, there we go," she said making her way to the door.

"Oh god," Emma screamed, "He's coming, he's coming now."

A team rushed into the office with a gurney.

"I have to get him out," Emma screamed as she was placed on it. Dr. Mitchell continued to hover next to Emma, not leaving her alone.

"You can't do that Miss Swan," said one of the nurses. "You just have to hang in there okay."

Emma's clothes were removed and the nurse looked underneath.

"She's fully dilated," she said to her team. "Let's go." She looked at Emma, "Whatever you do, do not push. We don't want this baby born in the hallway all right?"

"I have to," Emma said trying to squeeze as a mixture of screams came out.

"Emma you need to stop," the nurse said more forcefully as they made their way down the hall.

"Can't you just give me the drugs?"

"It's too late for that."

Emma screamed out in pain.

It only took a few more seconds till they were back in Emma's room. She was moved from the gurney over to her bed.

Dr. Mendez came in and smiled at Emma, "Okay miss Swan you ready to do this?"

"I don't know if I can," she said defeated.

Dr. Mitchell took Emma's hand and squeezed it. "Yes you can Emma," she said to the young girl.

Dr. Mendez looked over and nodded at her colleague as she took a peek beneath the sheet. "Okay Emma I need you to try to relax. On the count of three I want you to give me a big push. One, two, three, push."

Emma arched herself forward and began pushing. She couldn't hold back her screams. She had never screamed that loud before.

"Okay I see the head. You can stop. You're doing good Emma, real good."

Emma relaxed and rested for a moment. Dr. Mitchell patted her head with a wet towel.

"We're going to go again," said Dr. Mendez. "You ready?" she said asking the rhetorical question. "Okay Emma push!"

Emma began to scream as she did her best to push the baby out of her. She didn't know how much longer she could do this.

Dr. Mendez smiled, "He's halfway out," she said. "You can stop for a minute."

Emma rested back. She felt so weak. She didn't know how much longer her body could take this. Women gave birth everyday but that thought brought her no comfort now. As her mind wandered it came to a stop to a place she wished it hadn't.

She imagined this moment but in a different set of circumstances. She imagined Neal's hand holding hers, wiping her brow and whispering notions of platitudes. She imagined screaming not just because she was in so much pain but at him saying that it was his entire fault, saying things like he should've used a condom and him just taking it in stride because those words were meaningless to the pain she currently faced.

She didn't want the hands of shrink, she wanted his. But he was gone and he was never coming back.

A set of new tears streamed down her face. Emma was grateful that her doctor's couldn't understand why; they were probably just thinking it was because of the pain she was in.

"Okay Emma, I need you to give me one final push. Just one more and this will be all over."

Emma sucked in a breath. 'All over,' the words repeated in her mind. At any given second now her son would be free and she would be left alone. More tears.

Screaming the loudest she had since she had first gone into labor, Emma pushed as hard as she could. She didn't want this moment to come but the pain was too unbearable. She had to let this kid live without her even at the expense of her own sadness.

A loud piercing wail echoed in the room.

Emma leaned back knowing it was done. Despite her circumstances, despite everything, Emma had successfully brought her child into the world. The only thing she had been good at, her only success on top of a mountain of constant failures and screw ups.

"David, is he okay?" Emma asked as she propped herself up, Dr. Mitchell holding onto her back just in case.

A minute later, her son was brought over to her by Dr. Mendez.

"He's perfectly fine. Congratulations Miss Swan, you have a healthy five and a half pound baby boy."

The boy was placed in her arms. Emma couldn't help the smile and the tears that crossed her face.

"Hey kid," was all she said.

Dr. Mendez looked at Emma with a hint of sadness in her eyes. "We'll give you five minutes and then we're going to have to take him."

Emma nodded. Despite the joy she felt in this moment she knew she couldn't let that get the best of her. Her son had to go on without her, it was for the best.

Only a nurse was left in the room with Emma. She was easy to ignore. All Emma could focus on was her beautiful baby boy in her arms. He looked up at her with piercing brown eyes.

"I have to give you your best chance," Emma whispered to him. "You deserve at least that."

Emma took her right index finger and David wrapped his tiny hand over it. Emma smiled as more tears trickled down. She leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead. He felt so soft.

"I love you David," she whispered to him.

Emma stayed in this moment a minute more until Dr. Mendez returned.

"Miss Swan, it's time."

Emma reluctantly nodded as she gently slipped David into her arms. Emma kept her arms stretched out until her son was no longer in reach.

With no one in the room, Emma turned to her right side and let the tears and wailing come. She didn't bother to stop them. There was no point.

[1 Day Later]

Neal stood by in the waiting area, pacing. Dr. Mendez and Myra Hernandez walked over to him, Myra who was holding a baby in her arms.

"Mr. Cassidy," she said with a smile.

Neal looked up.

"He's yours," she said to him.

Neal's eyes lit up. "It's a boy?"

"Yes sir, a perfectly healthy boy." Myra gently passed the baby off to Neal. "You got him?"

"Yeah I got him." Neal looked down at the baby and smiled. "You look like your mother."

"I think he looks more like you," said Myra.

"He's got my hair at least." Neal looked up at the two women. "And Emma how is she?"

Dr. Mendez answered his question, "She'll get through it."

"And two more months and she's out of here right?"

"You'd have to talk to her corrections officer but yes I believe that's right."

Neal just nodded, "And she won't find out about this, she won't know I was here?"

"No," said Myra. "It's all confidential."

"That's all I can ask for I suppose until the timing is right."

Myra and Dr. Mendez just looked at each other unsure as to what Neal meant by that.

"Does he have a name?" Neal asked.

"She called him 'David'," said Dr. Mendez, "but his legal name, well that's up to you."

Neal smiled, "I like the name David and it's the name Emma gave to him. At least she can be with him in that sense. Something is missing though," Neal contemplated. "He needs a middle name."

"Do you have one in mind," Myra asked.

"Not yet but I'm sure I'll think of something."