Chapter 14: Let Go of Me, Tallahassee

The sand beneath her toes was mushy as Emma walked barefoot along the beach. The sun was beginning its descent on the horizon. She found a log and walked toward it, sitting in front. She watched as her toes buried beneath the sand. It was slightly cold but that didn't faze her.

Sighing Emma held the swan keychain which she had since turned into a necklace. It had been a year of living in Tallahassee. Emma had hoped that after she had gotten out of the prison in Phoenix that she would come here and find Neal, waiting. It was a ridiculous notion and sometimes she wondered if she even wanted to see him again considering the hell he had put her through yet she was still here.

In her last few weeks at the corrections facility Emma had begun to think about life on the outside. She talked with Dr. Mitchell about it. There wasn't much out there that fit her interest until Dr. Mitchell had suggested becoming a bail bonds person. It was a descent living and it worked in finding people which Emma had always been a natural at.

Upon arriving to Florida that was the first thing Emma looked into. It took at least four months to get her license. Though her predicament was anything but normal, she was at least grateful that her criminal record had been a juvenile one so it was legally sealed by court order.

Emma sat as she watched the sun dip along the horizon. The tide was beginning to make its' way in but nothing that required Emma to move from her desired spot.

She thought about David. Her heart ached for the little boy who had once shared her body. She knew she had done the right thing by giving him up but there were days like today, when the world felt more lonely than usual, that she yearned for him. She could still feel the smoothness of his body as Dr. Mendez placed him in her arms.

Emma thought about what he looked like. The moment she saw him she saw that he clearly resembled his father but there were some traits of her in him as well. Emma wondered what traits he got from his biological grandparents. It was ridiculous to think of it considering her anger toward them and considering the fact she had no idea who they were.

David's adoption had been a closed one but she couldn't bring herself to stop from thinking about him from time to time. Maybe down the road it would get easier. Maybe there would come a time when she could deny ever having a child but that day wasn't today.

She thought about what his first word would be. She hoped that the family he was with loved him. She hoped it was a better life than she could've given him.

Maybe someday- no Emma said to herself stopping her thought. There would never be a someday. David was gone just like Neal. Neither of them was coming back, neither of them would be seen again. The sooner she accepted that the easier it would be.

One more year she thought. One more year in Tallahassee and if she did not find Neal then she would move on. And given her new job as a bail bonds person leaving wasn't quite as easily. She had to stick out the job at least a year and then maybe she could move on and become a bail bond person elsewhere in the country but for now this is where she needed to be even if he wasn't here.

Neal sighed as he sat in his car with Henry in his arms. For twenty minutes he sat ideally by as he watched Emma on the beach.

He wanted to be with her more than anything. In his thoughts whenever he saw her like this he always imagined going up to her. She would always be angry but the moment she saw that the child he held in his arms was theirs the spark that he once saw in her would return and they could move on, start over.

Emma could be angry with him all she wanted but it wouldn't matter. She could never be as angry at him as he was himself. He had been convinced that what August told him was real, that the curse was real. He knew Emma's purpose and he hated himself more than anything for leaving her but it had to be the only way.

Time and time again he ran over scenarios about what would've happened had he met Emma like he had planned. He would've told her everything. His encounter with August, how he believed in her and how she had a destiny. The two of them would get there together. She would then stop him, not believing any of it. She would tell him she was pregnant but their life wouldn't stop him. Neal would get Emma to where she needed to be whether she believed him or not. He believed in the curse and he believed in her.

A thousand what if scenarios and none that mattered. This was their life now. He had to leave. He had to let her go on without him even if he had just been a shadow in her life the past year and a half.

"Okay buddy," Neal said to Henry. "It's time to say goodbye to Tallahassee now. Can you say 'bye, bye'?"

Henry looked up at his daddy. "Mama," said Henry.

"Yeah Henry, bye, bye mama," Neal said sadly.

Neal gently got out of the car and walked around to place Henry in his rear facing car seat.

"Mama," the boy repeated.

Emma watched as she saw a man emerge from a car with an infant in his arms. Her heart began to ache again. It was getting dark so all she could see of him was a silhouette. Still it was a silhouette that brought a pain of sadness as she thought about what could've been. She could imagine Neal excited over finding out she was pregnant. He would've made a good dad, of that she was certain.

She imagined Neal looking like the man she was watching, just him and his child as she watched from a distance, admiring the moment and seeing Neal with their son.

The car began to roll away and Emma wiped away some tears that were starting to make their way down her cheek.

The sun had gone down. It was time to call it a night.

~END~

(for now)

Author's Note: Tell me, should I continue this story?