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. . . . . I walked out of his office and peered down the hall. It's hard to see faraway without glasses or contacts so I squint trying to see who was in the lounge room as I walk down the hall. "Edward are you alright?" someone said from behind me, "No, I need my glasses or contacts. Without them I can't see faraway" I said turning around to see Dr. Jacob Black, Dr. Black's son. "Oh" he said looking down the hall, "Well why didn't you say anything sooner? You know, we could have gotten them for you" he said matter-of-factly

I rolled my eyes, "I think I prefer your father over you" I said smirking

"Oh come on smartass lets go and get you some glasses" he says, motioning me to fallow him. Jacob is Dr. Black's son, but they look nothing alike. Maybe he was adopted? Jacob now has swoopy short black hair that use to be long and straight past his shoulders, he's about 6'5 an impressive height above my own 6'1 and his skin color is between African American and white, which is very sexy. His broad shoulders and large muscles are widely recognized through his clothing, and his lips are plump and a nice redish pink. But he's no Jasper

When we reached the main supply office he opened to door and walked in motioning me to wait for him. Wail waiting I spotted Angela giving me a confused look so I mouthed "Glasses" to her and she nodded. Angela doesn't hold a grudge and that I'm VERY thankful for

"Here Eddy" Jacob said handing me a pair of glasses, "I grabbed the sexiest pair I could find" He said jokingly flashing me a smile

"Thanks" I replied, slipping the glasses on my face "Well look at that" I said

"What?" he said looking around the room

"You have dark green eyes" I laughed, "And here I thought they were brown!" I smirked at him and he gave me the finger returning my smirk

. . . . .

"Why won't you have sex with me!" Jessica shouted at me, her face turning red with anger

"I don't like you like that?" I shrugged, hopping she'd leave it be

"What? You've been here two years! Two years and haven't had sex with any of us!" she seethed with a crazy look in her eyes as she took another step towards me

"Why would I want too? I don't really know any of you and I'm not some sick fuck who sleeps with just anyone!" I yelled back

"Are you a freaking virgin or some shit!" she yelled looking me dead on

"No Jessica I am not a virgin, but I don't want you, or anyone here, there is only one and I mean ONE person I want and you are not it" I said in a calm voice taking a step back and sitting down

"Who? What's her name? Is she like your girlfriend? Fiancé?" she gasped, swarming me with questions

Jessica was one of my best friends here and besides from her being a raging sex addict, we got along swimmingly. "Jess, HIS name is Jasper"

Her mouth formed an 'O' and she looked down embarrassed, "Your gay?" she whispered and I nodded

"Oh" I laughed a little and touched her shoulder "Can you not tell anyone, please jess" I whispered to her

She flinched at my touch and brushed my hand away "Don't touch me you dirty fag" she yelled in my face and stormed off

I gulped and stared at the wall, my eyes were open but I couldn't see anything. My breathing hitched and my face was wet, the only reason I could tell that I was hyperventilating was because I could feel my chest closing in. I couldn't hear a sound other than my heart pounding. Then my eyes snapped shut and I fell to my side. Closed in darkness and in fear, fear of what would happen ten minutes from now, fear of what will happen a month from now. Not knowing is something people usually learn to live with but not me

Everything blanks out but I can tell I'm still alone for now

"Edward! Someone get his nurse" I heard someone scream, Angela?

I opened my eyes and saw her standing over me, looking distraught. "Angela I'm, I'm fine" I said trying to straighten up

"Are you sure? I think you just had another panic attack" she said, sounding out of breath

"Yeah I'm sure" I said rubbing the back of my head

"What happened? She said concerned "Wait never mind it's not my business"

"Edward, you were doing so well yesterday when I left you, what happened?" Dr. Black asked me, disappointment in his eyes

I sat down in the chair that lies across from his desk staring out the window

"What set you off yesterday?" he asked tilting his head slightly to the side

"Jessica" I said in a cold voice "She set me off" I stared blankly in to nothingness

"What did she do or say that made you go off?" he continued to question me, everyday it was the same. Question after countless question. But today was a little different, he held a new look in his eye

"I told her I was gay" I whispered

He looked at me shocked "Wow Edward… what did she say?" he said, picking up his pen and paper

"She called me a dirty fag" I choked out and looked down, "Maybe she's right, I mean why don't people like gays? Maybe there is something wrong with it, with me, there's always something wrong with me"

"Edward" he paused and then cursed under his breath "Edward there is nothing wrong with you other than the fact that you attempted suicide. Being gay is ok there is nothing wrong with it and I'm proud of you for telling me and even for telling Jessica" he smiled and then got up and sat in the chair next to me, "Why don't you tell me more about you and Jasper"

I laughed a sad laugh and closed my eyes knowing that tears would come soon. "Jasper worked at a bookstore" I smiled, thinking about how we met, "I hated books, didn't have time to read them, but then again I really just wasn't interested" I paused and took a breath, "My friend James loved books and he would bring me to the bookstore with him every week. When I saw Jasper, It's like nothing else mattered to me other than knowing him. I wanted to know who he was I wanted to be his friend; I wanted to be called 'his'. The moment I saw him I actually tripped over a chair" I laughed and so did Dr. Black a little , "He helped me up, his eyes were so blue" I said, thinking off

A tear went down my cheek, "Dr. I really miss him" I whispered and tears where dampening my face. What happened next I did not expect, as he pulled me into a hug. He actually cares

"What happened with you two? Edward this could solve everything for you, you just have to let me in" he said in a soft caring voice

"I can't tell you" I said in a sod, I'm in full breakdown mode

"Yes you can son, yes you can" he said pulling from the hug, putting his hands on my shoulders

"I wa" I stopped. I can't tell him. I can't tell anyone

"Edward" he said with pleading eyes

"I was raped" I whispered out, my head facing, at the floor crying

"Oh my god Edward" he said getting up, "Why did you say anything? Have you tolled anyone?" he said in a shocked voice

"No" I moussed out, "Jasper accused me of cheating, that's why we broke up… I couldn't tell him that I was…" I stopped and wiped the tears from my eyes

"Can you tell me what happened? Edward I know this is a lot but I need to know" he said sounding guilty for asking

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