Ring, ring, ring.
"Katniss, you know you have to answer it at some point." Peeta tried to reason beside me. We were sitting out on the front steps of the porch, basking in the setting evening sun, listening to the telephone ring off the hook from inside.
Ring, ring, ring. "At some point, yes. Not today." Was my reply. Ring, ring, ring. Ugh, I wish that guy would just give it a rest. The high-pitched dinging from the phone was giving me a headache.
When we were finally sitting in silence again, Peeta spoke up. "Why won't you take the doctor's calls?" He repositioned himself on the stair so that his artificial leg was propped slightly. I imagined it was uncomfortable to sit in one position for too long with that thing.
I just shrugged. "I just don't feel like having the same conversation as last week. And the week before that. It's always the same questions and until my answers change, I don't really feel the need to pick up." It was true in the sense that Dr. Aurelius always wanted to know the same things about me and my lifestyle. But it wasn't necessarily why I was avoiding him.
I didn't want to talk about those tapes and I knew that would be what our conversation would be centered around. Not a word more had been said about those revolting things since a couple of weeks ago, on the night that I had discovered them. Peeta still had no idea.
"Well, I wish you would just answer sometimes because he asks me how you're doing when he calls my place. How am I supposed to tell him anything? You don't say anything to me either, Katniss."
I could almost pick out the desperation in Peeta's voice and I could definitely feel the annoyance and disappointment when he talked about it. He claimed that I held too much in and that it was screwing with my health.
"Do you not trust me?" He suddenly asked and I turned to face him. "Of course I trust you, Peeta. What kind of question is-"
"Do you not feel comfortable around me?" His next question cut me off. I stared at him for a moment, debating on how to answer. "Peeta, you know that I'm comfortable being around you."
A soft smile touched his lips before he inquired, "Well then why can't you talk to me? You know I'll listen, Katniss." His voice was softer now, pleading.
We sat there for a minute, just looking at one another. "Peeta," I hesitated, my frustration with myself growing. "I know that you would listen, I know that you'd be there to help. I just, well, I don't know what to say. Or more that I don't know how to say things. You've always been the one that's good with words and voicing opinions. Me, I've never been good at expressing emotions or telling people how I feel." There was a frown etched on my lips.
I waited for him to say something. In his eyes, I could see a question growing and he looked up at me for a split second, as if he was about to ask. Then he looked down, shaking his head. Probably thinking better of it.
"That's okay, Katniss. I guess I can understand that, of all people." That was all he said while he looked down at his hands in his lap. What did he mean by that?
I couldn't help but feel bad as I watched him and told myself that he was only trying to help and I was shutting him out. Again. "I'm sorry…" I muttered, scooting closer to him so that I could lay a hand on his shoulder.
He looked up at me and there was a small grin on his face, although it didn't reach his eyes. "Don't worry about it." He stood up then, after a short struggle to his feet.
"Come on," He said to me and turned to face me. His hand was out, offering its assistance. I took it without hesitation and Peeta pulled me up to my feet. But after I was up, he didn't release my hand.
He stood there for a moment, just looking down at me with unspoken words on his lips. It took me to say something for him to even blink.
"Where are we going?" I asked softly. He cleared his throat and dropped my hand, turning his head to look out across the street.
"I was thinking that maybe we could go see what Sae was cooking for supper," I knew my dull gray eyes lit up at that thought.
"Does that mean you'll stay for dinner?" My hopeful question came out more rushed than I had anticipated.
Peeta chuckled softly. "I'll think about it." But I knew that meant yes.
The house felt cold after sitting out in the warm sun for hours on end. Peeta had insisted that we just take a day to spend walking around Victor's Village. He claimed that he was tired and didn't feel up to walking to the woods, but I knew that he was still upset. Our stroll through the ruins of the town the other day took a toll on him. Peeta tried to hide it, but I saw his new additions to his paint gallery.
"Something smells good," Peeta said loudly and purposefully so that Sae would hear. Her figure appeared from around the corner, a smile spreading across her face. "Ah, my favorite boy in Victor's Village. I knew you couldn't resist my cooking for long."
Peeta laughed softly. "You know me too well, Sae." I watched him disappear into the kitchen while I took my usual seat on the far left cushion of the sofa. From the other room, I could hear Sae rummaging through the cabinet for another set of eating utensils and Peeta laughing in intervals at things she must have said.
I realized that I hadn't heard Peeta laugh this much since…well, it must have been about the time of the Quarter Quell. It was good to feel like I played a small part in his happiness.
Then, ring, ring, ring! I let my head fall against the top of the sofa. "Not again," I whispered to myself, squeezing my eyes shut tight.
I could hear Peeta's footsteps and I looked up to see him leaning against the wall, arms folded in front of him, and an expecting look on his face.
"Alright," I grumbled, jumping up. "Don't give me that look. I'll talk to him, okay?" Peeta watched me as I stalked over to the small nightstand and snagged the phone up in my hand.
"Hello?" I could hear my own voice echo back to me through the receiver.
"Katniss?" It was not the voice that I had been expecting to hear on the other end. There was a short silence before I responded with my own question.
"Mom?" My eyes flashed up to meet Peeta's momentarily. He just smiled and turned on his heel to return to the kitchen.
"I've been trying to call for days," My mother's voice responded. "I've been worried sick, Katniss. Why haven't you been taking my calls?"
I sighed. "Because I thought you were Dr. Aurelius," I wanted to say but didn't. "Sorry, I've just been…" There was a slight pause in continuing my sentence. "Busy." I decided that was enough of an excuse.
"Oh," She said. "I know how that is."
"How have things been going with the hospital?" I questioned, twirling the cord of the phone between my fingers.
"Oh, it's coming along. District four has been a nice place to stay," She hinted. I bit my bottom lip as I was reminded of it, my own mother living thousands of miles away. I knew it was because she had to escape this place, but sometimes, although I knew it wasn't true, it felt as if she was running away from me.
When I didn't say anything, she surprised me with, "I miss you, Katniss."
"Miss you too, Mom." I replied and asked, "Do you think you'll visit?"
I knew the answer because, like the conversations with Dr. Aurelius, it was the same, staged response. "Soon, Katniss. Soon."
But I knew what that really meant. Then I could hear her talking urgently with another person, most likely a fellow medical figure. "Katniss, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to go."
"I'll call again soon. Take care." She said before reminding me, "I love you."
I nodded against the phone. "You too, Mom." And the phone went dead. I laid the phone gently back into its place and, without confronting Sae or Peeta, retreated to my room. I let the door click closed behind me and walked into the bathroom.
Trying my best to avoid seeing myself in the mirror, I turned the water on and let it run over my arms. Then, after a while, I began scooping the water up in my hands and splashing it over my face. It calmed me down, distracted my mind. I was willing myself to forget about my situation with my mother. Thinking of her made me feel abandoned. Thinking of her made me think of Prim.
"Katniss?" His voice called from outside my bedroom door. I shut the water off and snagged a rag from the rack next to the shower.
"Katniss, can I come in?"
It took me a moment to respond, "Yes." It was so quiet that I was surprised that Peeta had heard it. The door creaked open softly and he peered around it.
Slowly, I walked toward him. "Are you alright?" He asked me, letting the door fall open the rest of the way. In response, I fell into him, burying my face in his chest. His strong arms linked around me in surprise.
The way he held me felt almost foreign. It had been so long since I had resulted in seeking for his comfort like this. In fact, this was the closest we had been to each other in many weeks, maybe even months.
He didn't ask me what was wrong. He didn't request that I talk about it. He just held me, rubbing my back rhythmically in a soothing pattern, before he leaned down to whisper to me.
"I came up to tell you that dinner is ready," He said and pulled back slightly to look at me. I nodded, returning his gaze.
"Hey," He said suddenly with a grin. "Put a smile on your face. Everything will be okay."
I tried my best to do as he asked. "Promise?" I questioned, surprised to hear my own voice and realize that it was returning to its normal state.
His smile widened. "I promise." Peeta released me then and said, "Now, come on. Let's eat. Sae's been slaving over that hot stove for hours to put a good meal on the table."
We were almost to the bottom of the stairs when I heard that voice. "Got enough for one more, Sae?"
Haymitch. As if I didn't have enough problems as of the moment. Then he was there, staring at us as we filed down the staircase. My steps were more delayed than before.
Haymitch stood up straight without a slouch or a shuffle in his footsteps. His hands were folded in front of him casually. I could tell that he hadn't been drinking, and that scared me. A drunk Haymitch, I could handle. It was the sober Haymitch that I was frightened to confront. Especially because it meant that when we got into our arguments, his piercing words were nothing but true, not influenced by his alcohol.
He eyed us carefully and when I met his gaze, he smiled, nodded to Peeta, and raised an eyebrow. I glared at him. "Well, well, well," He said, taking a step back. "Pardon me if I was interrupting something."
"Shut up, Haymitch. He came to tell me that dinner was ready," I snapped at him, standing on the bottom stair. I didn't want to walk by him just yet, afraid that I'd lunge for him or something.
"Well, I can see that you still haven't forgiven me. Some things just never change, do they, sweetheart?" His calm and casual tone just angered me even more. I had no patience for his smart comments.
"Leave her alone, Haymitch." I was surprised to hear those words come from Peeta's mouth as he walked by Haymitch. As I followed him into the kitchen, I took note of the four set places at the table.
Sae had prepared a new dish tonight. I wasn't sure what to make of it at first as I watched her dish up a serving of rice topped in a sauce, or stew you might call it, with various seeds, a kind of green vegetable, and the meat of a wild bird that I had brought home yesterday evening. I'd say it quickly became our new favorite, though.
Eating with all of them was something I enjoyed. Haymitch mostly behaved himself, although I ignored the fact that he was there anyway. It was nice to have Peeta back, with his sweet comments on the way that Sae had prepared dinner or his small talk with Haymitch, asking about his geese. But it didn't last long enough.
Before I knew it, he was hugging Sae goodbye and thanking her for the meal. He shook Haymitch's hand before he claimed that he had obligations at home and left to tend to his geese with a full bottle of whiskey clutched in his fist. Then I was walking Peeta to the door.
"I'll bring something for dessert tomorrow, Sae." He called to the old woman while she cleaned off the table. I smiled to myself and hoped that this was the start to us returning to the way things had been.
He turned around to face me when he reached the door. "Thanks for having me over," He said and I just shook my head with a grin. "You know you're always welcome."
He smiled. "Peeta," I hesitated, stepping a little closer to him so that Sae wouldn't hear. "I'm sorry about earlier."
Peeta shook his head. "You don't need to apologize, Katniss. If you won't tell me what's going on, at least allow me to be there to comfort you." He said. I wasn't sure what to do then. Was I supposed to pipe up and say, "Well, good night," and close the door behind him? Was an awkward handshake appropriate? It seemed weird to hug him goodnight, although we were hugging only an hour ago.
Peeta decided for me, standing there in the doorway. He held both of his hands out tentatively, an offer. I smiled and he quickly had one to match mine as I walked forward into his arms. It was a quick hug, but a hug nonetheless. "Sleep well," He said as he made his way off the porch and into the night.
"You too," We both knew that it wouldn't happen but it was a hope that we had for each other. I wouldn't really sleep well unless he was there. And maybe, just maybe, because things started looking brighter, we'd get to that point again. But I'm going to take it one visit at a time, one dinner to the next, and every hug that he offers. Baby steps, that's what I would take. I would take baby steps and hope that everything would be okay, as Peeta had promised.
And there you have it. Chapter 6, as promised. I decided to throw a long one in there to hold you guys off for a little while and, because I know you've been waiting. Hope I didn't disappoint and I hope that you guys keep reading and reviewing.
I know I have readers out there, but where are all my reviewers? I would really like feedback, especially on the direction that these next few chapters are headed in. Lots of thanks and lots of love!