Here it is: Chapter 14! This took long, gomen'nasai for the late update. And for any of you who were wondering, everything is going well once again with me and my girl. I have a special thanks towards and Kiyomi Inuzuka. Thank you both for the encouragement and the advice, it really helped me a lot.

WARNING: self inflicted pain in this chapter. Also, it's rather depressing… you have been warned.

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"I can't be around you anymore." The words were engrained in her mind. "I can't be around you anymore." What had gone wrong? Sakura tossed and turned in her bed, tears filling up in her glistening emerald orbs. In her bed—was it all a dream? Her heart fluttered and she sat up quickly, looking over to her clock. It's time for me to go downstairs… and it's Friday… Her body heavily rolled out of the bed slowly, exhausted from the physical torture she had been through. She swallowed hard, feeling a lump of anxiety growing in her throat. It was all a dream—it had to be a dream. Sasuke loved her—he said so, and he meant it: she could tell that much.

The water of her shower trickled down her pale skin, faint with anxiety. Her legs and her arms were sore and heavy, making it difficult to both walk and bathe. The swollen lid of her eye hung half closed, the second half of her vision becoming blurry. The shower head blew out water on her pain sensitive skin, the caresses of liquid transforming into needles of pain as they stung her sore flesh. She winced, running her shaking fingers through her pink mane, washing out any traces of dirt as thoroughly as she could with the small amount of strength she had happened to muster up.

She reached over and turned the knob, ending the water's assault on her skin. Her legs, now numb without the stabs from the thin streams of water, could barely carry her to step over the tub. She fell over onto the flooring when her foot couldn't support her body. She coughed as her breath was knocked out of her, and she shivered when she made contact with the cold tiling. She felt weak, and absolutely helpless to the trials life was throwing her way. Sakura shook her head, her wet hair slapping the floor as she did. That didn't really happen—we're still together! She tried to assure herself, but it felt so real, but she had to accept the fact that it was a dream… wasn't it?

Her hands pushed against the hard tiling as she made a weak attempt at pushing her body up. Life slowly began to return to her legs and she gripped the wall, making it back up to her feet. She decided that she needed her strength to dress, so she skipped the step of first drying her body and immediately dressed into her uniform, although it wasn't ironed. She hadn't the energy to do that either.

Sakura looked herself over in the mirror: pale and disheveled. A black eye swelled on her eye, while her lips were full with swelling and caked blood. She had an obvious black bruise coloring her nose on an odd side, making it all the more obvious. Her wet pink tresses hung in her face in segmented strands, holding a darker shade than usual from the water soaking it. Shades of lacking sleep colored the underside of her eyes, giving her a dull look of exhaustion. Her tie was crooked, hanging off her wrinkled shirt which seemed to be as lop sided as her weak shoulders. She looked like a ghost.

The life of yesterday that had overcome her features had waned away. It was the dream—it was just a dream—why is it affecting me so much? Her swollen lips curved down into a pitiful frown. Dreams didn't do this to people—every dream but this dream, that is. It had to be a dream; it just had to be. Sakura turned out of the bathroom and shuffled her feet across the floor in weak walking as she gathered her books into her bag. They were heavy—heavier than they had ever felt before. Her arms ached as she picked up one book after the other, shoving it into the cloth material of her bag.

She took a breath and threw the bag over her shoulder; the bag and books slammed on her side, causing her to stagger from the weight and her legs wobbled. Shallow breaths escaped her lips as she made her way outside her dorm room, now heading down for the cafeteria.

Her steps down the stairs were slow and careful, mostly because she didn't want to fall down from the lack of strength. She held onto the railing as she made her descent in rugged motions. Once on the main floor, Sakura's eyes dashed about, looking for her music professor. He wasn't waiting in the hall; he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe… maybe he slept in—it is Friday… she tried to encourage herself, but she felt the lump growing in her throat.

After waiting there for a good amount of time, Sakura's heart began to pound and her mind flooded with the reality. This wasn't a dream. "I can't be around you anymore." He… he really… he really said that—he really said that… after he… Her mind flashed backwards and recalled his laugh, his smile, and his tears—all the times they had spent together: now vanished. "Sakura… I love you…" Her eyes widened as they filled up with hot tears of remorse, confusion, pain… What was happening?

She shook her head. How could this be happening? Tears stained her skin as they trickled down her cheeks. She wasn't hungry—she didn't eat breakfast because she was hungry; she ate breakfast because she wanted to be around Professor Uchiha: her protector, her best friend, and her love. Did that not mean anything to him? Did she not mean anything to him? "How is this helping me?!" She sobbed in a hoarse breath, leaning on the wall and allowing herself to slide down it to wail quietly in her raised knees. She hugged her legs, bringing them closer to herself. "Why… why… why…" she mumbled under her breath, the tears flowing out of her burning eyes.

Hours ticked by as Sakura sat there, groaning and crying onto her lap in quiet tones, holding her true anguish within herself. She wanted to scream and to lash out and to express herself fully, but she held it in, bottling her agony into her heart, full of the rest of her depression. She added another stone to the dark castle.

Students passed her by—Ino passed her by—when their time for lunch had come along. No one bothered to speak with her; they just left her on the floor, mumbling to herself as she wailed remorsefully.

A faint bell rung in Sakura's ears as she lifted her eyes, which were squinting from the contact with the light she had been blocking out. It's time for class… she stumbled up to her feet, staggering as she began to trudge to her first class. Her eyes now ached as well as they were swollen, her head throbbing with a headache from her previous outpour. There was an ever present frown of hurt clouding her features. She had lost the regal beauty—the odd placidity that she had received when she was in the company of Professor Uchiha.

She slumped into her seat, sending a sharp pain through her legs from the rough contact, but she didn't care. Let the pain come. The pain inside her was worse than anything that could possibly happen to her on the outside. She couldn't match the disfigured appearance that she had been twisted into in her heart even if she tried… could she? Images of blades and blood danced in her mind, tantalizing her imagination with self inflicted pain. Sakura didn't fight them, but she basked in them, drowning her mind in the images. Yes, she could match the disfiguration—she just had to try. Her lips quivered. What was becoming of her that she felt the necessity to do this? She felt an aching desire within herself to do it: to complete cover her body with cuts and further bruises. She should look as hurt on the outside as she was on the inside. She just should.

The images continued to flow through her mind, their graphic infliction increasing as she dwelled on it, and fed it more and more with her attention. Sakura didn't even notice when Professor Kurenai Yuhi entered the room and began to teach. She didn't notice when the teacher called on her and made her answer, her subconscious eventually doing the work for her. Her mind was somewhere else—somewhere not so far from the school room. It was just a floor up in room 1-C's bathroom, where there were blades.

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"Expel her," he grunted heartlessly, clenching his fist in enragement. His eyes flashed with contempt as the knuckles of his hand turned white. His cheeks were flushed up and red with his apparent anger, and his lips curved down into a frown.

"You know we can't do that," Kakashi answered the raven patiently, trying to calm the man down. That was a task the caretaker had never been good at: after all, when an Uchiha decided to get angry, he got angry.

"What do you mean 'we can't do that'? We are the Hatake and the Uchiha—we can do whatever we want. Expel her," he ordered again, his lip curling as his rage rose. He glared harshly at the silver haired Hatake. It was a ridiculous situation. It was obvious that a Yamanaka had caused another student physical harm—if you could lower the abuse to that vernacular. She should be expelled—kicked out of the school and never to return. She hurt Sakura… because of me. He rebuked himself for being so forceful—he rebuked himself for the loving the freshman. He had ruined her life in so many ways, and what pained him the most that if he tried to do anything about it, he would just make it worse. That is what he told himself.

"Yeah, and she's a Yamanaka," Kakashi argued, sighing in frustration. The Hatake had their fair share of anger issues as well. "You know our business and theirs are way too close in money and business to do anything like that to one of their children. And we don't have any solid proof that Ms. Yamanaka abused Ms. Haruno—you heard Ms. Haruno cry and Ms. Yamanaka tell her to keep screaming—that's not abuse."

Sasuke growled in frustration, running his fingers roughly through his charcoal mop. He knew Ino did wrong; he just knew it, but Kakashi was right. He didn't have any solid proof. Ino would come out clean as a whistle from any complaint Sakura, a commoner, would make—even with an Uchiha as her witness, considering what kind of Uchiha he was: an accident. "I'm telling you, Sasuke, the second you get evidence, I'll give Karin the notice, and we'll kick her right out, but until then—"

"I know that, I'm not an idiot," he snapped. Kakashi just looked at him. "… Sometimes."

"You left the Haruno girl alone, in the darkness per se," Kakashi rebuked him, a solemn frown clouding his fake nonchalance. Sasuke bit his bottom lip harshly, his eyes glancing away from his caretaker.

"It was for her own good," he defended his decision, wishing he could take back his words with his entire being, but feeling the necessity to be the farthest person from Sakura. "She was being tortured because she spent time with me… if I'm out of the picture, then she can go back to doing what she wants in life—to finish her education."

"Are you that dense?" Kakashi curled his lip. "Are you serious, Sasuke? Do you think that after all this time that she's spent with you that she even cares about her education anymore? That's not what a girl wants: girls don't care about their education when they find a man that has such a desperate desire to take care of her. What she cares about is that man, and having him hold her in her time of need. I know that—because guess what, Sasuke? The girl I threw away committed suicide soon after I let her go. You need to rethink your little strategy," he snapped coldly, glaring into the onyx orbs of his junior.

Sasuke ground his teeth, turning his face away from the Hatake. His mind took in the words of Kakashi, and held onto them, grasping for dear life. His mind tried to convince his stubborn will to go and to talk to Sakura Haruno—to protect her from herself, from doing anything rash. He shook his head. Now wasn't the time for him to be making rash decisions either. "I loved Rin." Sasuke looked over when he heard the shaking voice of his senior. It was actually possible for him to get emotional?

"Rin was my everything," Kakashi continued, his fist clenching in passion. "But family problems arose and I couldn't take the pressure of loving a commoner, as a Hatake, I was put into pressure from my peers and my entire family. I broke her heart and let her go; I thought she would eventually get over it and I would find her married to another man, and I would be able to live bitterly as I saw her happily married as she had learned to love someone other than me.

"But that wasn't the case. She constantly came up to me, asking me to change my decision—no, begged me, rather. But I was cold. I was stubborn, and I set my mind to obeying my family's wishes. Every time she would beg me, I would shoot her down until I finally broke her heart into fragmented pieces. She stabbed herself, finding 'a life without me more painful than death'. That's what she said in the note she left for me… beside her dead body…" Kakashi's eyes glistened with tears as he thought over his past, which he had thought he had successfully pushed aside after all these years, but when Sasuke began to go through similar circumstances, things began to well up inside him again.

Sasuke looked at his senior, his eyes losing the rage they had earlier possessed. He clenched his jaw and placed his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said simply, but sincerity flowed through his voice. Kakashi sighed and shrugged Sasuke's hand off.

"Come now, don't patronize me," he mumbled, trying to return to his nonchalance. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before talking once again. "My advice to you is don't let everything fall apart. Forget the money, forget the status—love who you love, and don't ever let them go." Sasuke nodded solemnly, the words dancing through his mind. "Sasuke? … I love you too." I can't let that go… not ever…

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The bell went off and Sakura weakly shuffled her feet across the floor, her bag hanging off her shoulder roughly. No one had spoken a word to her all day. She was making her way through her classes unbothered and free from torture, but she didn't care. She felt tortured. She felt torn apart into mangy forms that would be her; broken heartedness was not enough of a phrase to express how she felt.

Her next class was music—a class that would torture her beyond any other. Her eyelids hung over the dull emerald orbs, which were lacking their usual glimmering light. Her slow trudge of a walk caused her to walk into class late, all the students already working on their pianos. She dully made her way to her piano and stared at it: tears filling up in her eyes as she remembered her and Sasuke sitting beside each other, laughing and talking as they played music.

Sakura slipped onto the seat, lonely. She was by herself; she didn't see Professor Uchiha in the room, although he was there. The man she loved was invisible to her, and she felt invisible to him. He was avoiding her—avoiding speaking with her in any way. Her fingers rose and fell as they pressed weakly on the piano keys, barely singing in an audible tone.

Sasuke clenched his jaw as he watched her through his peripheral vision. He couldn't speak to her—not now. He couldn't just walk up and start a conversation as if nothing had happened the previous day. That was disrespectful towards her feelings and selfish. He had to wait: he didn't want to wait. He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her, but he couldn't. As much as he longed to, he couldn't. He had let her go, but he wanted her back. He was going to take her back, but now wasn't the time. He had to wait. He must wait…

Music class came to a close and neither Sasuke nor Sakura spoke a word to each other. Sakura's heart tugged on her overwhelming emotions. Tears poured down her cheeks. He didn't even say hello… he didn't even offer to help me with the song… her body shook and she hugged her arms to calm her tremble. He's just like the rest of them… he hates me too… she told herself, the thought of it alone putting her in an anguishing state of mind. How could the one she loved put her through the worst pain she had ever felt in her life… unless he didn't love her back? That was her conclusion. He had to hate her. He just had to…

Professor Guy saw Sakura's greatly weakened condition during PE, and he pitied her inability to walk even. Compassionately, he excused her from the class and told her to go up into her room and get some rest. To Sakura's surprise, none of the students seemed at all jealous of her. They just continued on in their class. She swallowed hard, confused as to why she was being completely ignored by her peers. Some sort of attention would maybe help at this point. The thoughts of earlier plagued Sakura's mind as she recalled steel blades grazing her skin with bleeding gashes. Crimson blood would decorate her pale skin, giving it the color of her pain.

She made her way up into her room, allowing her book bag to be shrugged off her shoulder and fall to the ground, spilling the contents on the floor sloppily. Her feet dragged her into the bathroom, her mind consumed with one thought and one thought alone: self abuse. She must make herself as hurt on the outside as she was on the inside. The disfiguration, the gashes, the tearing, the bleeding—all the pain and anguish within her must show on the outside. It was her mission. It was her obsession.

Sakura stood in the bathroom, facing the mirror with a tear stained appearance. Her lip quivered as she was suddenly afraid of herself—afraid of what she had convinced herself to do. "I can't be with you anymore." The fear went away, and the painful memories flooded her mind as a groan of anguish overcame her, weighing on her heavily. She kneeled to the floor, stripping her body of her clothing until she remained only in her underwear. Taking up a razor, she raked sharpened blades against her wrists until they were bleeding with ragged gashes. The pain shook her, but she couldn't stop. She raked the blades across the length of her arms, streams of blood decorating the trail behind.

She ground her teeth, biting back her moans of physical and mental anguish that seemed to overcome her very being. Her teeth sunk into her lip, bruised with the earlier day of torture. It hurt—Sakura could feel her teeth breaking the skin of her lips, but that's what she wanted: pain. Blood trickled down the broken skin of her lips, coloring them crimson with the dark fluid. Tears flowed out of her eyes as she screamed at herself. "Why, why, why…?!" Her hands tugged at her hair harshly, sending waves of pain coursing through her scalp.

Shaking her head, she brought the stubby blade up to her pink mane, taking a gulp as she gasped for breath. The blade chopped through the beautiful tresses in which her head had previously been adorned with; the pink strands drifted to the floor, drearily landing on the tiling. Her hair hung sloppily, crooked and only reaching the middle of her neck. Sakura stared at herself. She was lifeless, ghastly, and horrendous—for the first time in her life, the words slipped her lips: "I'm ugly…"

Her body shook with the sudden shock of self inflicted pain she had put herself through, and her body was heavy and cumbersome with the weakness from the lack of blood. She stumbled up to her feet, grabbing her shirt to put it back on. After buttoning her shirt in mismatched holes, not caring what her appearance was at all, she dragged her feet out her dorm room door, heading for the downstairs.

Sakura Haruno knew what she was doing. She knew that what she was about to do would change her life forever, but her life had just changed. It was just as she thought: this school was no good for her. It was just as Ino said: she should just leave. This wasn't a school for people like her—this was a school for the rich. For all those lying, hateful, selfish, rich pigs. She gave her heart to one of those swine, and it was thrown back at her in return. Sasuke Uchiha didn't give a care about her; all he cared about was himself—just like the rest of the rich. He wasn't different—he just had a better act. A very lovable act… An act too wonderful to dissipate and become false: except it did.

He vanished from her life, purposely. He said he couldn't be with her anymore, but maybe it was simply that he didn't want to be with her anymore. Maybe he caught wind of what her "I love you too" meant. Maybe he realized that she really did feel for him legitimately and he told her those hateful words. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

The memories no longer brought a smile to her face. His face no longer made her giddy, or blush on instinct. His face brought her pain. He brought her pain. In just one sentence, he had destroyed everything that she thought of him, and yet, even with the destruction, she still couldn't help but feel that nagging emotion: that emotion that she had such a hard time suppressing. Love. She couldn't help but still love Sasuke Uchiha, and that's what made it that much more painful. He had let her go, and she couldn't do the same in return.

Her feet had brought her to the stairwell. She looked down at the single flight of stairs. "Fall down…" A voice echoed in her head. "Fall down…" she repeated, the stairs looking inviting in the most distasteful ways. She imagined herself tumbling down, and finally ending with her unconscious state. Just as she lifted her head to step down and leave her lifeless body to tumble, she felt an arm grab her from behind. "What are you doing?!" The strong voice of a woman demanded an answer, shaking Sakura out of her trance. Sakura's eyes dully glided over, her vision hazy, but from what she could make out it was Ms. Karin who had stopped her.

"Ms. Karin…?" The name mumbled off Sakura's partially closed lips.

"I asked what you were doing, missy!" Karin snapped, neglecting Sakura's question. Unknown to Sakura, Karin's eyes were clouded over with an obvious worry for the girl before her. Isn't this my cousin's girl?! What the heck?! She shook her head, bringing her focus back to the point. "Well, Ms. Haruno?"

"I need… to sit down…" she mumbled a weak response, fainting into the arms of the red haired receptionist.

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Sakura's eyes fluttered open and she found herself in a dim room, the lighting dull and easy on her eyes. When her emerald orbs adjusted to the blurry room, she recognized it as the receptionist's office. She sat up and looked behind her: she had been rested in a reclined chair. "So you're up?" She heard Karin's voice and her head snapped over to give the woman her attention. She nodded curtly and raised her hand to toss her hair off her shoulder, but she felt nothing. A raspy gasp slipped her lips, but then she remembered: she had chopped her hair off. "Why were you going to jump down the stairs?"

"I… I don't know…" she mumbled, turning away from the woman. Karin sighed, a frown curving on her lips.

"Ms. Haruno—"

"Ms. Karin," Sakura interrupted her, her eyes veering back over to the Uchiha. She swallowed hard to push the lump in her throat down. Her head throbbed as she recalled why she was headed for the receptionist's office. She knew what she wanted there, and it was time to say it: "I would like a drop out forum."

oOoOo

Another depressing note, gomen'nasai, my readers… :[ Stay with me, do NOT forget this is a SasuSaku all right?! Lol no but seriously, gomen for the bad note yet again. I hope somehow you enjoyed this chapter? I don't know… I might have ruined someone's day—gomen for that too. I'll be working on chapter 15—don't forget to R&R! Arigatogozaimasu for your support.

InaGaTa