I'm going to switch the writing style a little bit for the rest of the story, just cause writing all the : you do this, you do that, isn't something I'm used to and I don't think I'm any good at it. Sorry if that disappoints anybody! Also, yea. No more Johnny, I just used that because all of the trolls have six letters in their names, so yea. Just wanted to keep up with that. Okay. Time fucking jump people. It's about to get real fucking sadstuck up in here, so just so you're prepared….

DISCLAIMER: if I owned Homestuck…..well, let's just say it's a good thing that shit belongs to A.H.

The sound of Dave's snoring in the cot beside mine was tumultuous. His heavy breathing and sleep talking never failed to keep me up for hours on end/ while that kid acted all cool and chill like he hadn't a care in the world, as soon as he went unconscious he was a snoring ball of butts. My own personal stay-awaker. Yes. That is a word.

I looked to the clock on the bedside table that Dave and I shared to discover that it was 11:11 on a rainy Tuesday night. I sighed and rolled over. No point in making wishes now when everything I've ever known and wished for simply crumbled in my hands or didn't come true. In forty-nine minutes I would be eighteen, an adult, and, legally, not a ward of the state. Tomorrow morning I would be handed a measly two-hundred dollars, my few belongings I had gathered over the past twelve years, and be kicked onto the streets in front of the orphanage I had been forced to call home for so many years.

Gazing out the rain-pelted window, I recalled the first time I stepped into the orphanage-which happened to also be my very first memory. I was about six years old, and it was raining…just like it is now….

/FLASHBACK/:

The water was soaking through my shoes, and I looked down at them, confused and shaking. Where was I? How did I get here? Who am I? The questions swirled through my brain and try as I could, not a plausible answer could be found. Eventually, someone discovered me soaking on the stoop and ushered me in.

"What's your name, honey? Are you all right?" I looked up to the woman. She had pretty brown eyes and wavy blonde hair. I scrunched up my face in confusion. Her face looked so strange to me. Why was her skin so pink? Shouldn't it have been a bit….darker? I frowned as I contemplated her questions. Other than being cold and wet, I seemed to be fine so I told her.

"And your name, sweetie?" she prompted, quickly pulling a blanket out of seemingly nowhere and wrapping it tightly about my shoulders. I frowned again and looked down at the cracked, old wooden floor.

"I….I don't know." I managed to whisper. The woman frowned and nodded her head before taking me to the nurse's office to check for any problems.

/END FLASHBACK/

I don't remember anything before that moment I was on the stairs in the rain. Any time I try to think past that moment, my mind is completely blank. Over the years I had been too many psychiatrists and doctors, all of whom tried and failed to staple a diagnosis for me. No missing person's reports that matched my description ever turned up and I was declared a ward of the state with a severe case of amnesia. That first day of my life became my birthday, and the day I have always hated the most out of any other of the year.

I turned over in my bed and closed my eyes, praying for sleep to befall me. Dave's snoring and constant sleep-talking had finally ceased, and my eyes finally began to get droopy, my mind slowly but surely entering the realm of unconsciousness for a hopefully very restful sleep…

"JOHN. WAKE THE FUCK UP." I was pounced on and tackled in my bed sheets by none other than my best bro Dave until I managed to groggily push him off and grab my square, thick framed glasses from the bedside table.

"Was it really that necessary for you to wake me up in such a manner Dave?" I grumbled as I began to get dressed. Dave just sat casually on the side of his bed, sun glasses in their usual place upon his nose, and shrugged.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Egderp." I rolled my eyes and smiled slightly. Dave's cool persona never failed to be a pleasant distraction from the real-life worries I went through every day.

"Sure. Whatever." I rolled up a few things inside a large back pack and took out my few belongings in the bedside table. A plastic black comb, a Nic Cage auto biography Dave got me two years ago for Christmas (BEST. PRESEANT. EVER.), and a hat with holes cut in the side of it that I'd had for as long as I could remember. I sighed and placed all of the things inside the back pack before slugging it over my shoulder and turning to my best friend.

"All packed up, huh?" he asked with a smirk on his face. I nodded and started to walk away, trudging my worn shoes on the scuffed up, wooden floor.

"Wait….John?" I turned around and was attacked by the most suffocating hug I had ever received, from none other than the pleasantly cool albino I called friend.

I returned the hug with full force, squeezing my bro's shoulders tight and rocking back and forth. I could feel Dave's frame shaking slightly and I knew he was crying, which only made me want to cry even more than I already did, but I couldn't cry. I didn't want Dave's final memory of me to be some snot-nosed, red-eyed asshole.

"Don't….don't be a stranger. Come visit me, got it?" Dave took a step back and looked at the floor, rubbing his eyes hidden by thick, black sun glasses with the edge of his red and white t-shirt. I nodded my head and gripped Dave's shoulders, my heart pounding in my chest with the regret of having to leave my only friend behind on this frightful adventure.

"I will. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." I said with a slight smile clouding over my watery eyes. Dave laughed half-heartedly and smiled bitterly up at me.

"Can't promise anything Egderp." I smiled wider and hugged Dave again.

"I know." And with that, I turned to leave, for real this time, and walked out of the bedroom we had shared for the eleven years that I knew him-knowing deep down in my heart that I wouldn't come back to visit, and that I would probably never see my best friend ever again.

"John Egbert." I walked forward and handed the woman with brown eyes and blonde hair my papers. She wasn't as nice now; she wasn't as young either. The years had been cruel to her, as was evident in her deep wrinkles and saggy eyes. She looked through her glasses at my papers, shuffling through them as if they were the most worthless things in the world.

"Alright. Here you go. A car will drive you to your first job application and then to your temporary housing until you can't get yourself on your own feet. Now get outta here." The woman scornfully handed me back my papers and pointed a long, wrinkled finger to the oblique, wooden door. Very carefully, as if any step I took could shatter me whole, I walked to the door and placed my hand on the cold, copper knob. When suddenly the very door I had my hands on flew open and smacked me in the middle of the face.

"OW!" I yelped as I clutched my nose. The man that had opened it looked down at me.

"Oh man! I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to do that!" I looked up from my post on the floor. The man looking down at me had soft features, an almost comically large nose, and was wearing, quite oddly, all white clothing. White pants, white shoes, white shirt, and white fedora. I shook my head as I stood up, brushing off my pants.

"N-no problem. I'm alright." I started to walk out the door, when I was stopped by the man's hand on my shoulder.

"Wait, kid. Hold on a second. Look at me." I frowned, confused and turned to look at this man. His eyes were seemingly blank and dull, as were the rest of his boring facial features. He striked me as a very plan kind of man, and I noticed that he stunk of tobacco and shaving cream.

"My. What beautiful blue eyes. Hmmmm." The man said thoughtfully. In the middle of giving me the once-over, the man turned abruptly to the front desk and slammed his hands down upon it, frightening the poor old woman.

"I want him." The man said, pointing directly at me without taking a second look. I gazed, wide eyed in shock at the man's hand. What had he just said? The woman behind the desk looked equally surprised.

"Uh…um, I-I'm sorry sir, but today is this young man's eighteenth birthday, he is no longer an occupant of this establishment." The woman's voice quavered. The man's grip on the desk tightened as his voice darkened.

"I don't want any of your other under-developed kids. He will do just fine, thank-you-very-much!" the man then slammed a brief case on the desk and opened it. I couldn't see its contents, but the woman's eyes widened further in shock, and then glazed over with joy.

"Oh, w-well of course, he's yours then. John, John come here, please." The woman said, waving me over with her wrinkled hand. I gulped and slowly walked over to the pair, hands trembling. This had never happened to me. I was always too weird, or too nice, or too buck-toothed, or too smart. Nobody wanted me. This couldn't happen now!

"John, honey. You are being adopted. Isn't that exciting?" the woman's voice rang with false happiness, and I gave her a gilded smile in response.

"Yes. Yes I suppose it is!" I turned to the man, whose features seemed slightly less boring than before, slightly darker and more…edgy. Something was off about this. But what? I couldn't quite place it in my head.

"Alright. John, is it? Let's get going!" the fedora-ified man (yes, also totally a word) grabbed my arm a bit roughly and walked me out the door and into the back of a black vehicle with tinted windows and leather seating.

The car engine revved, and I was on my way to the first adoption that had ever taken place in my long, twelve years of orphaned life. The drive was long, and I watched through my tinted window as the tall building s and houses and offices and malls and parking lots flew by, eventually leaving behind the city in resort for an airport and a small suburban town.

"Um. Might I ask where we're going?" I asked timidly from the back seat. The fedora-wearing man whom had quite illegally adopted me turned in his seat and gave a queer little smile.

"We're going to the Mansion, my boy, were you will spend the rest of your pretty-faced life at the pleasure and expense of others." And after that odd and confusing answer, the man did not speak a word to me.

He bought us two plane tickets, to where I had not heard. We traveled through security and went to our boarding lane. We were in lane fourteen, and there weren't that many people boarding with us. Suddenly, an announcement came over the loud speakers.

"Plane boarding for Las Vegas, Nevada at lane fourteen, now boarding." I gaped. I was going to Las Vegas? Gambling capitol, among other things, of the country, if not the world? My hands trembled slightly as I took my seat next to this strange man that I did not know, and was afraid to know more about. His tobacco breath washed over me and suddenly made me nauseous. What was I supposed to do in a situation like this? Where was this strange man taking me? Nobody in their right mind adopted an eighteen year old boy, it just was stupid. How could family ties be created that way? Unless of course…no family ties were sought…

I turned my head out the window so that I didn't have to look at this man, whom I was suddenly very afraid of. What could he possibly want with me? There was nothing I could think of that made any sense whatsoever. And the fact that we were traveling to Vegas was less than disconcerting, considering he must've traveled forever to come to an orphanage in Maine, just to adopt someone to take to Las Vegas? Weren't their orphanages in Nevada?

But I didn't have anything to say or do on these matters, for the plane was soon taking off, taking me places I had never been before, places I didn't wish to go, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I must've fallen asleep at some point on the long and boring plane ride, for the man, who I realized was completely nameless to me, was suddenly shaking me roughly awake.

"Come on, kid. We've gotta go." I groggily stood up and followed the nameless one out of the plane and out of the air port and into another black vehicle with darkly tinted windows. Again I sat, slumped, in the back leather seats staring out the window as palm trees, pools, casinos, houses, and strange people flew by. We finally stopped on the outskirts of the gambling district at a huge house. The entire building was painted black and white, with an iron-cast fence surrounding the perimeter. It grew higher than any house I had ever seen in my life, having simply to crane my neck in order to see the top of it. I gazed up with my back pack slung over my shoulder in awe.

This is where I'm going to live? I thought with astonishment before being roughly pulled up the steps and into the houses large entry way. Within, the house seemed to hold the normal accommodation of any houses foyer, except of course, for the fact that everything was huge, and seemingly over-sized. The man pulled me through the house, and I began to notice strange little things.

The stairs were worn down quite a bit, as if many people had passed on them over the years, and strange noises were coming from the top floors of the house. There was no living room or family room or any kind of lounging area of any kind. There was, however, a large room with a built-in bar and a few chairs scattered about. Within there were a few disgruntled looking men in business suits and the like, holding little martinis and what not.

I was shoved past this room and down a long, winding hallway to the back of the house. There, I came face to face with a large, black wooden door. I turned back to look at the man who had taken me this far, so far away from everything I had ever known. When we had first met, he seemed kind, and a miracle for wanting to take me under his wing of protection from the real world. But now….now I wasn't so sure. His face seemed disgusted with me, and he pointed to the door with a shaky hand.

"There kid, get in there and don't you even fucking dare think about coming out until you are told to. Got it? Now get in." I gaped. What was this? Punishment? For what? I turned back to the door and gulped, placing a trembling hand over the knob. This situation seemed frighteningly familiar, and I opened the door, terrified as I was to discover what was behind it.

I was met with silence and a small stairway going down. I looked hesitantly back at the man in the fedora, but he just growled and pushed me forward and closed the door behind me. I turned, now utterly terrified and began banging on the door with frightened fists.

"Open up! Let me out! Get me out of here!" I cried out, but my only reply was a string of curse words and a kick to the door on the other side. I banged my head on the door and slowly slid to the ground. What had happened? How did I manage to end up here, in some creepy old guys…what the hell was this anyways, his basement? I turned and looked down at the omniscient set of stairs. There was a hallway and a gloomy light, but I couldn't see beyond that-and I didn't want to.

"Hey. What the fuck is this asshole sitting at the door way? Some freak trying to break in, huh?" I was suddenly lifted high off the ground by the back of my shirt and turned around. Facing the man who held me with terrified eyes, I shook my head fearfully.

"N-no! This guy…he adopted me, but I'm eighteen so he wasn't supposed to, but he did! And then he took me on an airplane here from Maine, and I thought he just wanted to adopt me, but he brought me here and through me in this door and won't let me out! And I don't know what to do!" I cried, struggling against the man's fist around my throat. The man grunted and dropped me.

"So new merchandise. Got it. Get over here kid, I'll introduce you to Rose, she'll show you the ropes." Did….did this guy just call me 'merchandise'? My eyes widened further behind my thick frames and I followed this strange, burly man down the stairs and into a doorway on the left that I hadn't noticed before. Behind the door was what seemed to be an office of sorts. A girl, who seemed hardly older than me, sat behind the desk. She had pale skin, and short blonde hair that curled slightly at the ends. Her lips were painted black, and she was very pretty. I felt my cheeks tinge pink slightly and looked down at the floor.

"My. What have we here, Benjamin?" Rose said, looking up from some papers. Benjamin grunted and tossed me forward. I stumbled over my own feet and nearly fell onto the desk, but managed to catch myself in the nick of time.

"New kid. Just got here from Maine, has absolutely no idea what's going on." And with that, Benjamin left and closed the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, Rose let out a long sigh and rubbed her eyes with her hand.

"Please, please take a seat; I guess I have a lot of explaining to do, but first off, Hello. My name is Rose, Rose Lalonde." Rose held out her hand and I took it in my own.

"Um. My name is John….Egbert." I murmured quietly, twiddling my thumbs in my lap. Rose gasped and handed me a tissue.

"Poor thing, your cheeks are all red. Have you been crying?" she asked, face full of concern. I frowned and felt at my cheeks. They were wet, and my eyes felt droopy.

"Oh. I guess I have been…I hadn't noticed. Thank you." I said, taking the tissue and blowing my nose shamelessly. I gripped my knees and leaned forward. I was so tired and weary and confused, I just wanted to go to sleep and find out that this situation was all one big nightmare.

"Well, John. I guess it is my duty to tell you. Welcome to The Mansion, Las Vegas' hottest, most prestigious club and pleasure palace." Rose droned as if she'd said that hundreds of times. I frowned, confused.

"What's a…a 'pleasure palace'?" I asked with a hint of doubt in my trembling voice. Rose sighed again and pursed her lips together in frustration.

"You really do know nothing, do you John? This is a whore house. People come here, mostly men on business trips away from their old wives and happy families to have paid sex as well as other sexual favors. Do you understand now?" my eyes widened. Why the hell would I be adopted and taken to a….a whore house? My heart was beating wildly in my chest. Realization struck in my brain and I squeezed my eyes shut, my hands gripping tightly to my knees, as if that would save me from the horror that had befallen me.

"S-so….that guy with the fedora?" I asked my voice soft and trembling. Rose smiled bitterly and took my hand in hers, squeezing slightly.

"He's the boss. He goes all around the world looking for new "merchandise"" Rose said the word with such distaste it made me shiver.

"He must have gone to Maine searching for a new boy; he might have had a request for one or some such. And you were the lucky punk that he chose." I felt my cheeks flame up.

"Oh." Was all I could manage. Rose chuckled.

"Don't worry; he won't be throwing you anywhere crazy soon. I'll set you up with a room, you'll have a roommate of course, and we can go from there." And with that, Rose shuffled back into her desk chair and picked up a land line phone, and mumbled something into it. My gaze was glued to the floor, my body felt numb. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I was in complete shock. How in the world did I land here, of all the places in the world?

"Come on, John. I've got you all set up." I followed Rose around robotically. I didn't know what else to do, there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. We stopped in front of a door painted neon-green with a blue-sparkly door knob. I turned to her with a curious look, but she just shook her head. The door opened and a girl with long, wavy black hair and glasses answered. Her face was smiling brightly and her cheeks were dusted slightly pink.

"Oh! Hello Rose! Sorry if you were waiting long, I was in the middle of a nap! Oh wow, you must be John. It is very nice to meet you!" the girl gleamed bubbly, grabbing my hand and shaking it enthusiastically.

"John, meet Jade. She'll be your roommate. I apologize I was unable to find an open bed for your to dorm with a boy, I hope this will do for now?" Rose looked at me questioningly. I nodded my head, refusing to say a word. Rose patted my back comfortingly.

"Good. Now Jade, this boy is in good need of rest, so don't pester him too much. He's new to this whole thing, and I'll give you the next few days off to show him around and what not, alright?" Jade nodded her head eagerly and pulled me into her room. Rose waved me on and shut the sparkly door behind me.

"Wow! This is awesome, I'm so happy you're here, I've been waiting for a roommate forever!" Jade gleamed and waved me over to a bed with green sheets and blankets.

"Here, this is your bed. Mine's over here-" motioning to the other side of the room. "-and I'm going to be sleeping on it, I am dead tired, and I'm sure you are too. So go to sleep, and I promise I'll answer any questions you have in the morning, okay?" I nodded, and she smiled wide.

"Good. Okay then, just set your stuff down where ever, change if you have to, don't worry I won't look! And hop into bed." I sat on the bed and pulled off my shoes and placed my glasses on the bedside table next to the bed. I didn't have the energy or the will power to change out of my clothes, so I just crawled into bed fully clothed.

My name is John Egbert, a name given to me twelve years ago when I was found on the steps of an orphanage. Today I am eighteen years old, and I was adopted by a man in a fedora to perform "sexual favors" to strangers.

When I closed my eyes for the night, they were filled with new tears.

HOLY CRAP. I think that is the longest first chapter I've ever written. Also, I'm sososososo sorry I haven't updated in forevers! Okay. Well. This is my first homestuck fic, so let me know how I'm doin boys and gals. See ya next chapter!