Ares 2

I'm frozen and I'm sure a couple of years have passed me by. Xena is outside, patching the roof as the rain continues to pour. A random rumble of thunder eventually breaks me from my trance. My brain has stopped working though so I begin to do things as if someone else is controlling me.

I sweep away cobwebs and dirt, move the pallet to the floor and use the wood bed frame as kindle for the fire. I place one bedroll across the bed; the other close to the fire where I sit down, hugging my knees to my chest. My clothes are still soaked through but I barely notice it anymore.

I'm confused, surprised, scared, unsure, excited. What in Haedes name just happened? My fingers trace across my lips as I stare at the flames in a trance. I love her, I do, but I never realized that my love could be of the same kind I felt for Perdicus. I mean it just never occurred to me that it was possible, even though I love her more than anyone I have ever known. Am I just stupid and naive?

My body is beginning to shiver, despite the heat of the fire. The dampness is finally getting to me, bringing me out of my shock. I peel my clothes of and hang them over the back of the chair, then a grab a blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders before resuming my spot in front of the fire.

Her hand on my shoulder startles me out of my thoughts. I look up at her, hair dripping wet, leather sticking tightly to her body. In her hand is a shiny green apple. Giving me a small smile she hands it to me before walking away. I bite into the crisp fruit just to give me something to do.

I avert my eyes as Xena begins to strip out of her things, laying them across the table as each item is removed. It takes little time before she's sitting next to me, a blanket wrapped around her body. I find myself wanting to stare at her, and in actuality find it very difficult not to. She's said nothing about what happened and acts as if it didn't happen. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take that. So we just sit in silence, staring into the flickering flames.

We sit for so long that I in fact momentarily forget the awkwardness I was feeling and find myself leaning into her, my head resting on her shoulder.

'Gabrielle?' Her voice is quiet but it sounds loud in the silence we've been covered in.

'Hmm.' My eyes fall close, the warmth of the fire on my face is lulling.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' Her body tenses as she goes silent again. I'm on the edge of sleep when she grabs me roughly by my arms, forcing me to turn and face her. I'm more than a little startled, but the look she is giving me confuses me even more.

'Gabrielle. I love you.' She emphasizes each word.

'Ok.' I feel like I'm missing something. Xena actually begins to laugh.

'Sometimes you're soo…..' Her eyes search mine as she tries to find the word she's looking for. 'Young.' She finally says but it feels like that's not really the words she was going for.

'Is that an insult, because right now I'm not sure.' My brow furrows as I try to figure out what she's trying to say. She just laughs some more. Slowly she brings her hand up, the back of her fingers stroke my cheek as her laughter fades and is replaced by something a little more serious. I'm finally beginning to connect the dots; I'm not sure why I'm so slow since I've been thinking about that very thing.

'Idiot.' Is the only word I can seem to get out.

'What?'

'I'm not young, I'm an idiot.' Her smile comes flashing back at me.

'You're not an idiot.' Her hand cups my cheek now as she looks at me with such soft eyes.

'Don't laugh but I didn't know that it was something that could happen, I mean to me.' I shake my head at myself, averting my eyes back towards the fire.

'And now?' She asks, emotions becoming guarded. I force myself to look at her.

'I've always loved you Xena, I just didn't know it could go beyond friendship. Not until you kissed me. So many things just make sense all of a sudden.'

'Like what?' She's trying to get me to confess to anything and everything that is going on in my head.

'I've looked at you and thought how beautiful you are, but I've thought that about other women. It's more like a feeling of jealousy, of wanting to be as beautiful as they are. But when I thought about you, it was different and I could never quite figure out why. I wasn't jealous of your body, I just admired it.' Xena simply nods her head as she pulls her blanket tighter around her body.

'I always think about you, and I dream about you. And when you died…. But I just figured that was because we are always together and I rely on you so much.' I suddenly feel small and like a child. 'Besides, shouldn't you be going for a warrior with big muscles and a big…sword.' I grin at her, trying to make the whole thing feel less serious. She grins back, her eyebrow arching high.

'I think it's time for a change.' Her voice becomes low and sultry, throwing me off a little.

'I think I'm a little drastic. Why don't you try Joxer?' I'm giggling before her face even changes to one of disgust.

'That's not funny.' She narrows her eyes as she sets her jaw firm. My eyes drift to our clothes.

'My clothes aren't dry yet.'

'So?'

'So I'm tired.'

'So sleep.' I shrug my shoulders at her, making my way over to the bed. Curling up into a ball with my blanket around me, my eyes fall closed quickly. Before I can fall asleep though I feel Xena's body wrap me from behind, her arm pulling me closer to her. I take her hand in mine and pull it up under my chin. I can't help it, it just feels so comfortable.

A noise brings me out of my deep slumber. I'm lying, sprawled out on my stomach with the blanket barely covering any part of my body. Craning my head a little I find Xena dousing the fire.

'Don't I get to eat?' I ask groggily. She turns giving me a grin.

'You think I'd let you starve?'

'If it meant getting on the road quicker.' She gives me a look of mock disgust.

'You know how I need my breakfast in the morning.' I smile back at her, then drop my head back down and close my eyes. 'Hey, it's already mid-morning. Get up.' My clothes come flying through the air, hitting my face with a smack. How rude.

Breakfast consists of berries and jerky. Not my idea of filling but I really wasn't given a choice. We get back on the road, heading nowhere in particular at the moment. Sometimes I really like the aimless traveling and the found adventures. Life is so much more exciting when you don't know what's coming next.

'Xena?'

'Hmmm.' Her eyes scan ahead before she looks at me.

'What do you want from me?' She stops suddenly, confusion marring her brow.

'What?'

'I mean, you said you love me right?'

'Yes.' She looks at me warily.

'Well what do you want from me?' Her mouth drops open and I'm not entirely sure she's breathing.

'Is this a trick question?' She looks completely uncomfortable right now, and I so want to laugh. I can only manage to shake my head no.

'I didn't really think about it.' She tries to look convincing, but is failing horribly. I try to control the smirk that keeps threatening to spread across my face.

'Relax Xena. I thought you weren't afraid of anything.' I try not to giggle as I start walking again, leaving Xena standing by Argo for a full minute. Finally, she practically comes running to catch up to me and acts nonchalant.

'I'm not afraid.' She says with a false sense of bravado.

'Ahuh, sure.'

'Hey, I'm just polite.' She tries to glare menacingly at me, but I'm beyond that at the moment. I pat her arm reassuringly.

'Whatever you say Xena. Whatever you say.'