I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE, HOLY SHIT I APOLOGIZE INFINITELY. Enjoy your kawaii as fucking shit chapter guys. I made it longer than usual…or at least tried to, to compensate for my lack in update.
JOHN'S POV: (SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER)
I awoke to a rough tongue slobbering all over my face and a low voice growling next to me. I groaned and groggily shoved Impdad's face away.
"No! I wanna sleep! Let me sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeep!" I groaned and flopped over, refusing to obey the whims of my persistent care-taker. A sudden, loud knocking, however, had me sitting up and getting ready to answer the door. I winced as fierce sunlight filtered through the window, waking me up completely as the knocking persisted. I squinted at the open window; I never remembered opening it, or ever seeing such bright sunlight streaming through. But why would someone be knocking on my door at this time of the day? If all Alternian residents are either troll or lusai, and both are nocturnal, it would be impossible for someone to be at my hive, right?
My curiosity got the best of me as I raced down the stairs to the ever dogmatic knocking. I paused at the door to make sure I looked presentable before swinging it open. On my stoop was a very lovely looking troll with a huge pile of fabric in her arms and bags hanging off either side of her.
"Oh! Hey Kanaya! Come in!" I was surprised to see her standing there, smiling at me. The girl strolled in, scrutinizing my hive with her careful eyes. Closing the door, I led her into the living room.
"Um, sorry it took me a while to answer the door. I was asleep. Speaking of which….shouldn't you be sleeping to?" I questioned, yawning a bit and rubbing my eyes. Kanaya chuckled and set down her piles and bags.
"Yes, I suppose your right. I apologize for interrupting your slumber…I only desired to meet with you while Karkat was not around, or asleep. Thus I had assumed during the day would be suitable." I nodded, but still didn't understand. Why were trolls nocturnal anyways?
"Well…why would you want to come when Karkat's not here? Are there a lot of trolls that stroll around during the day?" Kanaya smiled gently and folded her hands in her lap.
"I came to bring you the rest of the clothes I promised, as well as some things I think might be of necessity due to your natural complexion and lack of horns. And to answer your second question, no, not many trolls dare venture out into the harsh Alternian sunlight." Kanaya smiled and looked to the ground in a seemingly bashful glance. "I just so happen to enjoy our suns natural light and warmth, in contradistinction to my fellow trolls." I smiled back at her; the young troll had a dreamy look on her face, as if the sun were the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.
"Would you tell me more about the day time? The last time I saw a sun was on earth…and it feels like so long ago." I trailed off. It really had been a long time. In fact, it must have been over a year because the last time I was outside on Earth was on my birthday when He "adopted" me. I shuddered and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to banish the horrible thoughts from my head. Kanaya's bright yellow eyes sparkled with excitement as she nodded her head in affirmation.
"It would be my pleasure, John!" Kanaya pulled her feet up onto the couch so she was sitting on them and folded her hands back into her lap.
"The day time is so different from that of the night. Everything looks completely different in the light of the sun compared to that of the violet moon. The light, for instance, is of a strange hue; it is more aurulent in color and much brighter. The air is warmer and the wind, blowing through the sparkling leaves of the trees is the most pleasant feeling in the world. Oh John!" Kanaya's impassioned voice was like honey as she described the wonderful scene of her world, the world she alone had to explore. She clasped her hands together with solace and sighed with utter bliss, "John, the sunrise is positively resplendent! The sky is alight with magnificent colors, like a painting of the worlds blood all coming together on the same canvas; brilliant blues and violets, radiant jades and fuchsias, dazzling yellows, reds and oranges, oh it is absolutely grand! I wish you could see it!" Her eyes were wide with fervor, and I felt myself longing to go outside and experience this gracious world she had so described to me. My heart suddenly yearned for the touch of the Alternian sun's warmth and the lavish wind on my cheeks. I looked to Kanaya, eyes wide with amazement and I could tell; I could tell that she, somehow, knew exactly what I was thinking. Her smile only grew larger and more beautiful upon her face.
"Come John; let me show you the sun."
I grinned widely and ran to the door, haphazardly pulling on my shoes and re-opening the door. Kanaya followed me out, and gripped my shoulder when I first winced at the intense brightness that engulfed me. The young trolls' soft words came to my ear in a reassuring tone, "open your eyes John look at the world around us, take in its beauty and sublime grandeur." Slowly, I creaked my eyes open. It was painful at first, my eyes not being used to any light brighter than the moon, but when I finally got the open fully, I was awestruck.
My eyes widened in amazement at the scene before me; blue grass waved gently in the warm breeze, the trees around my hive seemed to dance in the wind as their magnificent, magenta leaves rustled the air and sparkled in the sun. I looked up, eyeing the sun for all it was worth. It was much larger than Earth's sun, or at least a lot closer. It was the same, magnificent color however, and gave off the same warmth. I raised my head up to the sky and marveled at its deep blue; pale green, puffy clouds drifted across the sky and the river next to my hive bubbled with life. But I couldn't take my eyes off the sun; I knew it was bad for me, and would probably make me go blind, but I didn't care. It felt so good, and so warm, and so….familiar. It wasn't until I felt Kanaya's fingers brushing away my tears that I realized I was crying.
I fell to the ground on my knees, staring at the sky in astonishment. Memories came flooding back to me, rushing through my skull like a river. I remembered Dave and me playing together in the orphanage backyard, going on walks together in the bright afternoon sunlight, sitting in the park pointing out shapes in the white fluffy clouds…. I shuddered and closed my eyes, letting the tears fall down my cheeks. My heart ached in my chest as the memories pierced my skull; it was the first time I missed anything about Earth since being here. I missed being in the sun, I missed snow, I missed big city streets and sounds, I missed the sun, and I missed Dave. Here I had a brilliant moon, a loving lusus, a warm hive, I used to have Karkat; but here was still strange to me. Some memories about this place were still fuzzy; it was like being born in one country, moving to another mid childhood, and then being plopped back down in your old hometown. Things changed, I changed, nothing was the same.
My body trembled as panic began to set in. What if I never made it back to Earth? Not that I particularly wanted to I guess, but what if I was just as much an outcast here as I was there? Would I ever find a place I could belong?
"John, are you alright? Your tears….they're clear!" Kanaya's voice broke me from my train of thought, her voice heavy with worry. I smiled bitterly into her troubled face and shook my head, wiping my tears away.
"Just a little homesick, I think." I muttered quietly to myself. Suddenly, I felt warm, languid arms wrap around my body. I froze before realizing it was just Kanaya in a gesture meant for comfort. I sighed and hugged her back.
"Come, let us gravitate back to your sitting room so I may present you with the rest of your gifts." I followed the girl back into my hive, trying to leave the painful memories back in the yard-in the sun.
Once inside, Kanaya sat me down and shuffled through her bags before pulling out a long-sleeved black shirt, tan carpenter pants, and a huge bottle of grey-ish stuff. The girl pushed forward these items and sat down, hands in her lap. I quickly unfolded the black shirt; on its front was a very familiar swirly blue sign.
"Hey! Isn't this the same symbol on that other shirt I had?" Kanaya smiled shyly and nodded her head.
"Terezi helped me pick out some things, and showed me your old tattered clothing. One of the items, which I believe used to resemble a shirt, held a symbol of this likeness. I put it there to give you something to remember Earth by." I grinned as my heart swelled in my chest. I couldn't help but remember that Christmas with Jade…it seemed like forever ago. I reached for the mysterious bottle of grey gunk.
"What's this?" Kanaya smirked.
"It's skin." I nearly dropped the bottle. Skin?! Why in the world would she give me skin? Whose was it?! I looked to the smirking troll for an answer, but she just put a delicate hand over her mouth and giggled.
"It's not real skin, John. Its body paint; water proof. Comes off in a good scrub with some spoor slime." Body paint? Why would I need…..grey body paint. I looked at Kanaya's flawless grey skin, how all trolls had it. Her black t-shirt with the jade Virgo symbol on it. I exploded off the couch in realization.
"I'm going to be a troll!" Kanaya smiled and nodded her head.
"I figured a better disguise would suit you for voyages among the native people of Alternia." I nodded my head vigorously, jumping from one foot to the other. Karkat would be baffled speechless!
#O#
Kanaya helped blend in the paint on my face as the rest on my hands and neck dried. Squeezing my hands into fists, I tested out the elasticity of the body paint. I was surprised; I could hardly feel it at all. The paint was thin, but durable, felt like normal skin to the touch, and moved with me as I moved. Kanaya clipped two identical horns on either side of my head and upon looking in the mirror; I was awed by how…trollish I appeared.
"Kanaya, this is amazing! I look just like you and Karkat!" Kanaya patted the top of my head and then turned back to her bags, taking something's out and placing them in various places around my room.
"Speaking of Karkat, where is the pygmy petulance? The two of you seemed an inseparable pair leaving my hive the other day. I hardly thought anybody would be able to pry his cold, dead fingers from your arm, John." I felt my cheeks heat up at the mention of aforementioned hottie. I shuffled my feet, unable to meet Kanaya's eyes with my embarrassment and shame.
"Well…we kind of got into a fight yesterday. I said something's I probably shouldn't have and he got upset and I got upset and so he left." Kanaya was silent for a while and neither of us moved from our places, lightly spaced apart on my bedroom floor. But after a while of the seemingly uncomfortable silence I felt strong, warm hands gripping my shoulders, forcing me to face the lady troll. I looked up in surprise to find a slight frown adorning the black lips of Miss. Kanaya Maryam.
"John. You must do what is right and go to him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him everything!" I blushed deeper than I already was, completely stunned by Kanaya's actions.
"B-but he won't want me there! He'll just get mad, and-" Kanaya shooshed me with a finger over my mouth.
"Shut up John. The clinquant knight going to confess his true feelings and most sincere thoughts to the dapper individual of his most grandeur wishes would, in fact, be Karkat's dream come true; exactly as depicted in one of his most beloved emotionally red comic dramas." At this point, I was sure my ears were the color of bright red cherry tomatoes. I was baffled by Kanaya's perceptive correctness, and appalled by her accuracy in judgment.
"H-How could you have known that I…uh…um…" My entire body felt like it was shriveling into a heinous pit of embarrassment. Kanaya smiled knowingly and patted my shoulder.
"Trust me; I am a bit of an expert when it comes to these maudlin partnerships." My lips twitched into a sheepish smile as Kanaya led me down the stairs.
"Now. Do you know the way to Karkat's hive?" I'd only ever been there once, and that was when I was still under the ominous amnesia. I hardly paid any attention to the way we'd gotten to my hive, just that it seemed to take forever. In seeing the shake of my head to answer negatively, Kanaya pulled out a folded piece of paper.
"Here, it's a map of the local area, I've highlighted Karkat's, Gamzee's, my, and your hives and labeled each one. Will this help you find your way?" I nodded and slipped on my shoes.
"Thank you so much Kanaya…I don't know how I could ever repay you!" The girl scoffed and brushed away my comment with a wave of her hand.
"No need to, it is my divine pleasure." And with a final goodbye, I was off.
#O#
My feet crunched under the dark blue grass that lined the edge of the forest. In front of me was a forked dirt road. According to my map the road straight ahead, into the patch of wild blue grass, would lead me to another, larger, main road with Karkat's hive at the end of it. Folding the map back into my pocket, I forged on. I looked down at my grey-painted hands. What would Karkat think of the troll-me? Would he like it better than the real me? That would certainly make sense. What would ever cause him to enjoy the company of a weird alien kid? Or at least a deformed mutant… I sighed, mulling over my depressing thoughts.
As I turned onto the larger road I had seen on the map, I heard voices getting louder behind me. My heart jumped into my throat, nervous that whoever was there would see me for the fraud I was. I kept reminding myself that I looked just like the rest of them' Kanaya's disguise was flawless. One of the voices died out and there was just a single pair of footsteps. The road thinned out and there were no more hives lining the road until Karkat's, according to the map. I gulped; the troll had to be following me. Cautiously, I turned my head to look over my shoulder at the follower. I stopped in my tracks and turned around full force to observe the oddity before me.
The girl troll had really long, kind of messy black hair, a robotic-like arm, roundish glasses, and bright blue lips. I looked at her shirt and observed the deep blue Scorpio symbol on her black t-shirt.
"Well heeeeeeeey there stranger!" the girl drawled out, putting a hand on her hip. I didn't say anything. How could this be happening? How was I supposed to react? Was this a normal troll thing to do?
"Uh, hi…I guess." I mumbled. The girl rolled her eyes and walked closer, but with every step she took the urge to run and never look back grew stronger and stronger.
"So what are you doing all the way out here? Nothing but dirt and filth, if you uh…" the girl smirked and cocked her head to the side in a sly manner.
"Know what I mean." I, in fact, had no idea what she meant. I put my hands in my pockets, which had begun to sweat.
"Just doing some exploring." I offered. The blue-lipped girl took the bait, nodding her head in approval.
"Well I wouldn't go too far, unless you want to meet with one of the most disturbing excuses of a troll I've ever seen." The girl smiled and jabbed her elbow into my side.
"Us blue bloods gotta stick together, right?" I laughed nervously and nodded my head. What the heck did she mean by blue-bloods?
"Yeah, totally!" The girl laughed heartily and held out her robotic arm.
"Name's Serket. Vriska Serket." I took the hand gingerly, surprised to find her grasp as warm as it was metal.
"I'm John…John Egbert." Vriska laughed heartily, taking a step back.
"Man, you have got one weiiiiiiiird name dude!" I smiled, but the nerves in my stomach were raging a mantra of "run, John, run!"
"Well, it was nice to meet you, but I had better get back to my…um, exploring!" I flashed her a smile and turned to walk away. But, as most things that seemed to hurtle my way, getting rid of her was no easy task.
"Wait! John, what's your Trollian name? We can find each other and talk and maybe even do some kick-ass role-play!" The blue girl's eyes were alight with excitement. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, trying to think of some kind of feasible response to her query.
"I don't….actually have a, uh, "Trollian" name." Vriska stared at me, gawk-eyed.
"How can you not have a trollian name?! Practically everyone has one, John!" I shrugged my shoulders, why was she so hard to get rid of?
"I guess I'm just one of those select few." Vriska sighed and took something out of her pocket.
"Here, this is my Trollian username, so you can find me when you make one as soon as you get back to your hive." Vriska eyed me, as if to make sure I would go right home and do just that. I nodded my head.
"I'll do my best to find you Vriska." The girl smirked, showcasing her dangerously sharp teeth.
"Good. See you around, John." And then Vriska was swishing her hips in the other direction, heading down the main road to presumably head back to her own hive.
Continuing to walk down the dirt road, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Did I just do that? I had, hadn't I? I stood up a little straighter, walking quickly. I guess I made a pretty convincing troll. As I was walking, it began to rain; the water was cold and soaked me through as I ran to get out of it. The road turned into a trail in a dense wood of short trees; as I ran through it, branches whipped into my face and kept getting caught in my hair and catching on my soggy, wet clothing.
"Fuck! Where the hell is Karkat's freaking hive?!" I growled as another branch hit me in the back of the head. I certainly didn't remember all these branches being here… Finally, a tall, rectangular-looking building popped into view. I hopped up the stairs and knocked madly at the door. I was fucking cold, and I fucking missed Karkat and I fucking needed to see him right fucking now! After five minutes of waiting in the torrential downpour, I knocked frantically at the door again, beginning to panic. What if he could see me right now, and was refusing to open the door because he never wanted to see me again? My chest tightened at the thought, but I kept reminding myself what Kanaya had told me. Karkat….maybe he would find it in himself to forgive me. I banged on the door one more time, and finally yielded some results. My heart jumped into my throat in nervousness as I heard yelling coming from inside. I hobbled from one foot to the other, gingerly waiting in anticipation for Karkat to open the door; I felt like I was going to burst with excitement!
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WA-" I cut him off immediately, tackling him into a giant hug that landed us both on the floor. I couldn't contain the grin from popping onto my face as Karkat grumbled and yelped when we toppled to the ground.
"I'm sorry, Karkat!" I gripped him tighter, refusing to budge from my spot. But the grumpy troll would have none of that; Karkat put my face in his hands and lifted my head so I was eye-level with him. I had to contain the chuckle in my throat at Karkat's bewildered expression. Soon, though, recognition fell across his face and he gently pushed me away from him, standing up. But when Karkat stood, I was not met with a fully-clothed, normally black-clad Karkat. Oh no. I was met with none other than Karkat's BARE. FUCKING. ASS. There was no way in hell I could have ever possibly hoped to hide the intense heat that had risen to my face. I looked down and saw that there was a gooey white towel covered in spoor slime underneath me. I gulped and found my eyes traveling back up to Karkat's butt. I felt just a tiny bit guilty, but damn. He had a nice fucking ass.
I blubbered out something completely nonsensical and embarrassing, and slapped myself in the face at my own heinous stupidity. Karkat took a moment to respond, but shit! He was just standing there, practically inviting me to stare point-blank at his supple, grey tooshie!
"There's a couch behind you." Karkat's voice was low and he wavered slightly as he spoke before he headed upstairs. I followed his completely naked form with my eyes until he was out of sight. I looked back down at the spoor-slime towel, and noticed that just the small amount of it had managed to wipe the paint off my hands. I sighed, shaking my head to rid my mind of the naughty images that kept turning over and over like a digital slide show on continuous repeat.
I stood up shakily and walked over to the couch, sopor-drenched towel in hand. As I began to wipe the paint off my face, neck, and hands, I tired listening to what was going on upstairs. I heard a shower running, and then walking, a thump, a string of profanities, and the dull thuds of feet coming down the stairs. My face felt hot as Karkat came back into view, fully clothed this time. A slight blush was adorning his grey cheeks as he came into the living room, arms folded over his chest.
"Sorry about that…I'd just woken up." Karkat mumbled, his cheeks turning a shade brighter. Although his apology was most definitely sincere, my thoughts were ranging into the dangerous zone of "get-the-hell-out-of-here-john!" All that passed through my head at that moment was, holy shit Karkat sleeps naked.
"I'm, um sorry to have…barged in on you…like that." I mumbled awkwardly, suddenly unable to look the handsome boy in the eyes. I heard Karkat sigh and come closer to me. He grabbed the towel out of my hands and lifted my face up to his. A small frown of concentration adorned his expression as he took the towel and used it to rub away at the paint. I tried desperately to conceal the heat rising in my cheeks, but it was of no use. Soon Karkat's hand came away with a grey-stained towel and the hand on my chin to keep my head in place was slowly removed back to his own person. I gulped, the nervousness building in my head. Karkat threw the towel in the hallway and slumped down next to me on the couch. He looked like he was about to say something, but I couldn't let him; I had to apologize immediately.
"Karkat I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said, I feel really bad about it and I don't want you to leave 'cause your kind of one of the only people I know on this planet, and I like you a lot and-"
"John will you please shut the fuck up?" I closed my mouth and looked at my hands in my lap. My palms were beginning to sweat with nervousness and my heart was racing in my chest. Karkat sighed and rubbed a hand through his tumultuous black hair.
"I can't believe I'm saying this right now…but I'm the one that should be apologizing." I looked up at the usually stubborn, sassy troll in shock.
"I over reacted…you are obviously more than capable of making it around on your own. I'm just…" Karkat growled and crossed his arms over his just, agitation radiating off his being.
"I was just worried okay? I'm always worried. Because I'm a disgusting mutant, and I know what people out there would do to you if they found out. And…I didn't want you to get hurt." Karkat's face was a dead-set frown. He looked hurt and angered and I hated when he called himself a mutant. He was absolutely perfect in every way; not like that bullshit Mary Poppins tries to pull all the time.
Taking a deep breath, I managed to build enough courage to wrap my arms tightly around Karkat's neck, pulling him into a tight hug. The boy struggled at first; yelling at me to "get the ever loving fuck off his person" but I refused.
"You are by no means a mutant, Karkat." At that, the troll stopped struggling and seemed to sit completely still; I wasn't sure if he was even breathing.
"What did you say?" he asked, voice so quiet I could hardly hear him. I felt the heat rising to my cheeks again, and I nuzzled my face into Karkat's soft, black hair.
"I like you just the way you are, and nothing would ever change that." Karkat stiffened in my arms, but I didn't move. We stayed like that for a while before he finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around me in response to the long-lasting embrace.
"Thanks." He muffled quietly. My chest felt all bubbly and wonderful; I felt like I was going to fly to cloud nine and never come back. But Kanaya's words fell through my mind like a treacherous trap: You must do what is right and go tell him. Tell him everything. Tell him how you feel! I gulped and regretfully pulled away from our hug, holding Karkat at arm's length.
"What the fuck is it now John?" Karkat asked, clearly disgruntled that I had taken him away from his comfy place. My heart beat wildly in my chest; this was actually happening, I was actually going to tell Karkat how I felt, I could do this!
"Well, um, I wanted to…to tell you something." I said, my voice failing me and squeaking at the end of my sentence. The heat started to pile up and I inwardly groaned; when did I become so palpable to blush? Karkat folded his arms over his chest, raising one eye brow in skepticism.
"I uh…like you Karkat….alot." I huffed, there, I'd gotten it out. When I looked at Karkat for his reaction, he was just staring at me very confused.
"What does that have to do with anything? Not that I am ultimately flatted by your interest in the Supreme Being that is me. But would you care to explain yourself a bit more eloquently?" the heat intensified and my heart raced with anxiety. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I took my hands away from Karkat and rubbed them together, nervousness wracking my brain of all capable thought processes.
"Well…I, uh, oh god this is so embarrassing!" I covered my face with my hands. There was no way I could tell him! What had I been thinking?! Karkat growled and pulled my hands away from my face.
"Will just get it over with and tell me already? I'm not going to fucking live forever numb-nuts!" I nodded my head and tried again. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes.
"Karkat I love you." I immediately bit my lip, waiting for the sloo of cuss words and loathing. I was met, surprisingly enough, with utter silence. I cracked open one of my eyes, sure that Karkat would be ready to tear me up into little pieces.
"You what me?" in normal context, I would have just nodded my head and left, assuming that he would be completely surprised and disgusted with me… but the way Karkat said it made it sound like he didn't understand. I gawked, completely dumfounded.
"I...uh…l-love you." I said, my cheeks fighting to keep down the fire burning in them.
"What is this… 'love' business? Is that some sort of twisted human conniption fit or something?" Karkat eyes me suspiciously, but I was too awe-struck to give him an answer. Once again, none to surprisingly, I had managed to fail miserably at the simplest of talks. Claiming my love for this alien boy was proving to be seemingly impossible. I groaned and flopped onto my back, burying my face in my hands.
"Never mind." Karkat shrugged and reached for the TV table for the remote.
"Whatever."
KARKAT'S POV:
John was such an idiot. I allowed a small smile to grace my lips as John fumbled on the couch next to me.
Although he was a gullible idiot of impending self-doom… he was pretty fucking adorable when trying to claim his undying, red flushed feelings.
I'm so sorry, again, that this was so late! I'll try and get the next chapter our by Saturday or Sunday, (HOLY SHIT IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER YOUHAVENOIDEA) but…knowing me…fuck it. Sorry. I'll do my best! Happy (belated) New Years!