A/N: thank you for all the awesome reviews. Enjoy!
'What the hell did I just do?' that was the thought running through Jane's mind as she ran out of Dr. Keller's office. She didn't bother waiting for an elevator instead she ran down 4 flights of stairs and finally made it to the lobby. She burst out of the front doors and out onto the sidewalk.
Jane hunched over and tried to catch her breath. She took a moment then planned an escape route. Jane caught a cab and took it back to her apartment. She went in and locked herself inside.
"Stupid Stupid Stupid!" She shouted to herself. Jo Friday came scampering in to the living room when she heard Jane's voice. Jane flopped on the couch and Jo jumped into her lap.
"Oh, Jo, I really messed up." Jane said scratching the dog behind her ears.
"Dr. Isles, are you okay?" Dr. Keller asked looking at Maura who was standing in the middle of the room staring at the office door.
"Dr. Isles?" Keller said this time going over to her and touching Maura on the shoulder. Maura jumped at the contact and looked at Dr. Keller.
"I can't believe she finally said it." Maura said to herself. She turned to Dr. Keller, "Nothing leaves this room correct?" Maura asked and Dr. Keller nodded yes and without another word Maura left Dr. Keller's office.
Maura didn't follow Jane to her house, she didn't call or text her either. She figured Jane was working through some things and probably needed a bit of time.
Three days passed and Maura got a call from Dr. Keller. "Dr. Isles, I'm sorry to bother you but as you know Detective Rizzoli needs to finish her mandatory therapy in order to be released back to work."
"What does that have to do with me Dr. Keller?" Maura asked politely.
"She's refusing to come in." Keller told her, "I'm hoping you can persuade her to come back."
"I'm sorry Dr. Keller but this doesn't really concern me." Maura said to her.
"It does concern you Dr. Isles I would like for you to join Detective Rizzoli in another session if I can manage to get her back in here." Keller told her.
"What Detective Rizzoli said about me in that room is now between Jane and I and it has no bearing on when she can go back to work." Maura told Keller.
"I'd still like to talk about your work relationship." Dr. Keller told her.
"If you manage to get Detective Rizzoli back into your office then you can call me." Maura told her then hung up.
"Jane I know you're in there. Now open the door." Frankie called through Jane's front door.
"Go away Frankie." Jane called back.
"Open the damn door Janie!" he yelled hammering on the door with his fist.
Jane got up and opened the door, "What?!" She yelled to him.
He pushed passed her and went inside to her living room. She slammed the door behind him.
"What do you want?" Jane asked irritated that her little brother came barging into her Fortress of Solitude.
"Why aren't you back at work?" He asked her.
"Ask Cavanaugh." Jane said sitting back down on the couch.
"You're supposed to be doing your counseling." Frankie said to her.
"Yeah." Jane said.
"So why aren't you doing it?" He asked.
"When did you become so like Ma?" Jane asked looking up at him. "Why do you have to be in my business all the time?"
"What's going on with you Jane?" Frankie asked as he sat down next to her on the couch.
"Nothing." She said to him.
"Look, don't lie. I know something is bothering you." He said. He hesitated a moment then asked, "Is it Maura?"
"Why? Did she say something to you?" Jane asked looking at him.
"No she didn't say anything to me." Frankie said, "But you love your job so why is it taking you so long to get back to it?"
Jane shrugged her shoulders.
"I know Maura was in your last session." Frankie told her.
"How do you know that?" Jane asked.
"You know how stuff gets around." Frankie told her.
"Doctor thought it would help us work through our issues." Jane said as she slouched down further on the couch.
"Did it help?" Frankie asked.
"Nope." Jane said casually.
"Well what happened?" He asked.
Jane let out a long heavy sigh, "Frankie, I really messed shit up with Maura."
Frankie laughed, "Jane, she's not going to stay mad at you for shooting Doyle. You just got to give her some time."
Jane ran a hand through her hair, "It's not that Frankie, it's something else."
"Jesus, you didn't shoot her turtle too did you?" He joked.
"Tortoise." Jane corrected him.
"What?" he asked confused.
"It's a tortoise." Jane told him.
"Who gives a shit what it is?" Frankie said in frustration, "What else did you do to mess things up?"
"I don't know if I want to tell you." Jane said to him embarrassed.
"Come on Janie, it can't be that bad." Frankie urged of her.
"It's bad, Frankie." Jane said looking over at him; she was on the verge of tears. "It's bad and it changes everything."
Frankie scooted closer to her and put an arm around her shoulders. She put her head on his shoulder.
"Come on, Jane." He said giving her a squeeze. There was a slight pause then Jane breathed in and let it out.
"I told Maura that I'm in love with her." Jane said quietly.
Frankie didn't say anything. Jane lifted her head up and looked at him. "Did you hear what I said?" She asked him.
"Yeah Jane I heard you." He told her removing his arm from her shoulders.
"Why aren't you surprised?" Jane asked him with a suspicious glare.
Frankie smiled, "Come on Janie, a blind man could see how in love you are with Maura."
Jane punched him hard in his arm. "Hey don't take your anger out on me." Frankie said rubbing his arm. "God. This is why you need therapy."
"Who else knows?" Jane asked.
"How the hell should I know?" Frankie said standing up. "Listen, get your butt back in to see Dr. Keller, get yourself cleared and get back to work." He told her.
"But what about Maura?" Jane asked him.
"Uh, talk to her you dummy." Frankie said going over to the front door, "Work it out."
"That is?" Jane called after him as he stepped out and shut door behind him, "That's your great advice?" She yelled and threw a pillow at the closed door.
Jane sat on her couch for a minute then took her phone out of her pocket. She called Dr. Keller, "Doc, I need to see you."
"I'm available right now Detective." Dr. Keller told her.
"I'll be there in 20 minutes." Jane said and hung up.
Jane showed up at Dr. Keller's office and knocked on the door.
"Come in." Keller said.
Jane went into the office and shut the door behind her.
"Glad you could make it back in Detective." Keller said and Jane just stood there in the middle of the room.
"Please have a seat." Keller told her waving a hand to the couch in front of her.
"Let's get something straight first." Jane said, "I'm here to talk about the job and nothing more." Jane eyeballed Keller checking to see if she understood what she was saying. "I'm not here to talk about Dr. Isles."
Keller nodded and waited for Jane to sit down on the couch.
"Have you spoken to Dr. Isles since your last visit here?" Keller asked Jane.
"What the fuck did I just say to you?" Jane asked getting angry. "I said I didn't want to talk about Dr. Isles."
"Why does the mention of her anger you so much?" Keller asked.
A knock at the door interrupted them. "Come in." Dr. Keller called out and the door opened and in walked Maura.
"Oh hell no." Jane said getting up from the couch.
"Detective, if you do not do the required counseling you will not be permitted to go back to work." Keller told Jane. "Having Dr. Isles here is part of the counseling."
Maura stood by the door. She was actually surprised when Dr. Keller had called her and told her that Jane would be coming in. Jane sat back down on the couch.
"Dr. Isles, please join us." Keller said to Maura.
Maura went and sat down on the far end of the couch away from Jane.
"I understand the awkwardness of the situation I've put you in by having you both here." Keller said, "But we're here to talk about the work relationship you two have."
"How can you say that you're in love with me then walk away and not talk to me for 3 days?" Maura said looking over at Jane. The question caught Jane by surprise.
"What?" Jane asked looking at her, "Who even mentioned that?"
"Jane, you can't just blurt that out and then hide away for days on end." Maura said to her.
"You weren't exactly pounding down my door looking for me." Jane said to her.
"Ladies we're getting off topic." Keller said to them.
"I didn't think you wanted to see me." Maura said, "But I thought after a day you'd have come to your senses and come to talk to me."
"Come to my senses?" Jane asked, "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means you'd act like an adult and you would come and talk to me." Maura said, "Why do you have act like such a child when it comes to your feelings?" She asked.
Jane crossed her arms, "What good does it do?" She asked looking over at Maura, "Talking about your feelings just messes shit up between people."
"Why do you feel that way, Detective?" Keller asked Jane.
Jane looked over at the doctor, "I shot my best friend's father, and she hasn't spoken to me in two weeks. I blurt out I love you once and all of a sudden I'm in couple's therapy."
"Do you regret what you did?" Keller asked.
"No, I'd shoot Paddy Doyle again if I had to." Jane said to her.
"No, Detective." Keller said, "I meant do you regret telling Dr. Isles your feelings."
Jane's eyes darted over to Maura. "Yes."
"How can you say that?" Maura asked hurt by what Jane said.
"Because you weren't supposed to find out." Jane said looking over at her. "I didn't want to tell you."
"Jane, I'm not completely dense you know." Maura said to her.
"What does that mean?" Jane asked eyeing her.
"It means I knew." Maura said to her, "I knew you were in love with me."
"What?!" Jane said standing up, "For how long?"
"For a few months now." Maura confessed.
Jane's jaw dropped. She really wanted to just leave the doctor's office and forget about this whole conversation, forget she'd made her confession. At this point she'd rather go back to Maura being mad and not speaking to her.
"This is bullshit." Jane said. "You've known for months now and you didn't say anything?" Jane asked her.
"I was waiting for you to mention it." Maura said, "I didn't want to push you Jane."
"You would have waited a long time then." Jane said to her as she stood up and started to pace.
"Detective, is that why you've been so protective of Dr. Isles when you are in dangerous situations?" Keller asked.
Jane stopped pacing and looked at Keller, "It's my job to protect people."
"When you shot Paddy Doyle, what was going through your mind?" Keller asked Jane.
Jane walked back over to the couch and sat down. "I was thinking I didn't want anything to happen to Maura."
"What did you think was going to happen to me?" Maura asked.
"I didn't want you to get hurt." Jane said to Maura then she looked at Dr. Keller.
"When you shot him was there part of you that was angry at Paddy Doyle?" Keller asked Jane.
Jane looked over at Maura then back at Keller. "Yes." She admitted.
"Why were you angry?" Keller asked.
"There was no need for him to be there." Jane said, "I had everything under control."
"You mean you were already protecting Maura." Keller said to Jane.
"Yes." Jane said quietly.
"And how did Dr. Isles react to you trying to protect her by shooting Paddy Doyle?" Keller asked Jane then looked over at Maura.
Jane remembered exactly how Maura reacted. She yelled at Jane, yelled at her not to touch him. It shocked her how much anger was in Maura's voice and directed at her. She knelt by Doyle completely stunned by Maura's reaction.
"She reacted in a way I didn't expect at all." Jane told Keller. "I've rarely seen Maura anger and she was completely furious with me."
"I was in shock." Maura said, "I screamed for you not to shoot but you did and I just watched him fall to the ground."
"When you think back on the events of that day, do you think Detective Rizzoli was justified in her action?" Keller asked Maura.
Jane looked over at Maura and waited for her answer.
Maura started to fidget, a sign that she was nervous. "Now that I've had time to think about it, I mean really think about it." Maura said pausing, "Yes. I think what she did was justified. I know now that she wasn't trying to be malicious. She was just doing her job." Maura said then looked over at Jane, "I know you were just doing your job."
"I would hope Doyle would never intentionally hurt you but his actions have indirectly hurt a lot of people." Jane said to Maura, "I reacted on instinct to…"
"To protect me." Maura finished Jane's sentence and Jane nodded.
Dr. Keller scribbled a few things down in the file she was holding. "Okay, well there you have it." She said then got up and went around to her desk while the two women watched her.
"Detective I am recommending that you be place back on active duty." Keller said to Jane as she walked over to Jane and handed her a piece of paper.
"That's it?" Jane said looking up at her from the couch.
"Yes that's it." Keller looked down at Jane then looked over at Maura, "Unless of course you'd like to discuss your feelings for Dr. Isles?" she asked.
"Uh no." Jane said standing up quickly. "Thanks for this." Jane said waving the paper in her hand then heading for the door.
"Thank you Dr. Keller." Maura said and followed Jane out of the office.
"Jane, can we talk please?" Maura said catching up to Jane at the elevators.
"Maura, I can't." Jane said standing in front of the elevator staring directly at the closed doors. "Not now."
"Please Jane, we need to talk." Maura said to her.
The elevator doors opened and Jane stepped in. She turned around and looked at Maura. "There's really nothing to say." Jane said pushing the 1st floor button.
"There's plenty that needs to be said Jane." Maura told her.
"Like what?" Jane asked but the doors closed before she could hear Maura say, "Like, I'm in with love you too."
Maura sighed. "Why didn't you get on the elevator?" She chastised herself.