I'm blown away by all of your support. Special shout out to the two anons who reviewed the last chapter: get an account so I can thank you more personally! :P Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: You wanna know how I got these scars? I fought off every kid who told me I didn't own DW. Turns out they were right all along...
When he woke up the next morning, it was still dark out and Rose was still wrapped up, safe and sound, in his arms. He may not have needed the same amount of sleep that she did, but he definitely needed this Rose time. For a long while, he just watched her face, which was now facing him, thanks to some fortunate rolls in the night. He watched her eyes flick behind their lids as she dreamed of whatever her little heart desired. He watched her nose twitch, probably a side effect of her dream-self smelling something horrid. He watched the sighs and relaxation that cycled with minor tension and confusion. Eventually his eyes fell to watch her chest rise and fall evenly, never failing one way or the other. He was mesmerized by it all.
By her.
That thought alone was the one to make him freeze. She fascinated him, she enchanted him, she confused him to the ends of the universe and back again, she mesmerized him. She loved him.
But did she? He wasn't naïve enough to believe that she felt absolutely nothing towards him, not with all the hugging and limited space between them most of the time, but did she actually love him? And, more importantly, did she love him the same way he loved her?
He blew out a breath. Well, there it is, I suppose, he thought. He finally let himself feel it. He loved her. Truly and deeply. There was no turning back now, no more denying it. At least not to himself; to Rose, it was a different story. She wasn't his typical companion. She was just as strong and all around brilliant as the rest had been, but she was the first who had accidentally carved her name into his hearts. She was always with him, whether she knew it or not — not that he ever minded. Sometimes, when he worked on the TARDIS, he let his mind drift, but like a rip tide, his thoughts were always pulled back to her. His universe practically revolved around her.
His gaze shifted back to her face for another minute before he decided he needed to take a step back before he did something he would later regret or she would hold against him. If he wanted to keep her around, he knew he had to play it safe. Slowly, so as not to wake her, he unwrapped his arms from around her small frame and got out of the bed. His Time Lord vision aided him in his locating his trousers, but did nothing for him when he nearly tripped over his trainers. Muttering a few alien curses he'd picked up in his travels, he quietly shuffled out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. He found the loo on the second door he tried, dark, but functional.
He used the faucet to wash his face and brush his teeth with one of the toothbrushes he kept in his pockets for emergencies such as these. He sat on the lid of the toilet for awhile, trying his hardest to get Rose out of the forefront of his mind. It wasn't that he didn't want her there, it was just a lot easier to function if she wasn't.
It was another five minutes before he was able to go back to the guest room he was sharing with Rose. He rubbed at his eyes as he shuffled across the room. He stopped dead when he heard her murmuring, then sniffle, in her sleep. He thought it had perhaps been a fluke until he distinctly heard Doctor escape her lips, followed by a weak sob. He was immediately by her side, drawing her head to his chest and stroking her back and hair in a manner he hoped she would find comforting. He began to rock as she continued to weep, still completely submerged in sleep. His hearts broke with each pitiful sound. What had he done that had caused her to cry at his expense?
Twelve months, Pete, Satellite Five, Jack, Sarah Jane, Reinette, Pete's World, the nagging voice in his head reminded him. How could she stay with him after all that?
His Rose. Tragically beautiful. Didn't she know travelling with him could never end well?
The Doctor realised she'd stopped crying and eased her back onto the bed. He then made his way to the door again. There was no reason to stay any longer, not if he wanted to avoid causing her more emotional distress.
–
She couldn't say she was surprised when she woke to an empty bed. It had been a miracle that he had stayed until she fell asleep, she didn't expect him to stay much longer. Still, it didn't stop the tightness in her chest from the previous day to return in full force. It was fear that gripped her like a straight jacket, losing the Doctor. The though alone was one that caused her anxiety level to shoot through the roof. She could blame it on the fact that he was the designated driver, but she knew that wasn't it alone. It was so much more than that. Perhaps even more than she even understood.
Pushing the thought from her mind, she eased herself off the bed and pulled on her jeans. They were slightly cold from having spend the night away from any form of real heat, but it was a nice contrast to her warm body. Her t-shirt was questionably presentable, but she only shrugged and went down to the kitchen. There, she found Desiree sitting on the dark green marble counter top beside the sink, licking a wooden spoon, and Angela pressing waffles. The little girl's face lit up when she saw Rose. "Mornin'," the blonde said, tiredly. She pulled out a stool at the island and plopped herself into it, leaning against it as she faced the two others in the room.
Angela glanced over her shoulder. "Hey, morning," she said as she pulled out the finished products and threw them on a waiting plate. "I hope you like waffles. It's kind of a tradition for us when it snows." She turned and passed her the plate. "There's syrup and powdered sugar there, and whipped cream in the fridge, if you'd like." She gestured to the island behind her, then the refrigerator.
Eagerly, Rose used the sifter to cover her waffles with sugar, then tug in with her fork. She barely held back a groan of satisfaction. "These are gorgeous," she drawled after she swallowed.
The older woman laughed. "Thanks. I've finally gotten it down." She rubbed her hands together over the sink, then placed in the dirty bowl Rose hadn't even realised was on the counter. Desiree threw the spoon in it as well. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"Water, please, if it's no trouble."
Angela let out a 'pfft' noise, but Desiree then piped up, "but we have chocolate milk! Chocolate milk goes with waffles so good!"
Rose chuckled, unable to resist the whims of this child, "aright then, chocolate milk sounds lovely."
The girls fell into a silence that lasted until Rose had cleaned her plate. "Have you seen the Doctor, by chance?"
"Yeah, he's out helping Brendan shovel the walkway." Rose smiled at the mental image. The poor boy was probably getting an earful on the snowfall records or the history of the shovel or some other topic he knew way too much about. "Speaking of clearing the walkway," Angela continued, shifting a pointed look at Desiree, "go put your snow pants on and help your brother, Desi."
The little girl frowned, but slid off the counter and disappeared.
"I'll help too," she offered, placing her dishes in the sink. "I may need a clean shirt and a better coat, but I'm stronger than I look."
The elder smiled warmly at her. "Of course. Give me a few minutes, I'll be right back."
Before long, Rose was suited up in a pair of borrowed boots and four layers of borrowed clothes. After her incident yesterday, it appeared even Angela didn't trust her body to keep a normal temperature. It was better than the Doctor's response would have been; "No, you're in no state to do anything but sit on that chair over there and look pretty." She scoffed. He may be superior in some aspects, but he was not superior to her so much that he could push her around like that. She trudged out the front door, making her way along the path the other three had cleared until she found them picking and tossing clumps of snow somewhere near the driveway. Rose took a moment to marvel at the fact that probably over two feet of snow had accumulated in only twenty-four hours. She'd never seen anything like that in London.
Desiree was the first to see her. She eagerly ran over and took her hand, guiding her over to where they were working, speaking rapidly about some story the Doctor was telling them. Rose hesitated; if the Doctor was telling a story, it was most likely alien, and if it was alien, there was a good chance they could get kicked out of the nice people's home. To her surprise, though, he was retelling the story of their adventure with the werewolf at Torchwood not long after he'd regenerated. He was telling it from a different angle, though, so it seemed more like a legend or a fairytale. It seemed to be completely thrilling the young girl. She hung on his every word, and, to be quite honest, so did Rose.
He hadn't noticed her the whole time he was spinning his story, making it far more exciting and crazy than it had already been. He ended it with a bang and a happy ending of the two heroes running off across the fields of Scotland, hand in hand, ready to take on the universe once more. She clapped, her mittens muffling the sound, but alerting him to her presence. His eyes lit up, but his mouth tilted downward. She cocked her head in a silent, but understood, you-don't-make-my-decisions-thank-you-very-much look. "Glad to see you're awake and all bundled up," he said, at last, handing her an extra shovel sticking out of a pile to the side of the path.
"Angela made sure there was no possible repeats of yesterday," she nodded, accepting the tool and getting straight to work. After the first couple of shovelfuls, she grew tired of the almost eerie silence. "How old are you two?" she asked, glancing over at Desiree, who was struggling, even with her smaller shovel. The Doctor was discretely picking up anything she missed, plus some extra just to make it appear that he wasn't. She smiled at the sight.
"I'm seventeen," Brendan answered first.
"And I'm five."
"That's quite a gap," the Doctor acknowledged. She was impressed he hadn't said something more insulting. He was, after all, a bit judgemental of humans.
Brendan let out short laugh. "Yeah. My mom had me when she was nineteen. My dad died when I was two months old, so I never really met him. She married Desiree and Duran's dad, my stepdad, when I was eleven."
"My dad died when I was a baby, too," Rose hummed in sympathy. She caught the Doctor looking at her out of the corner of her eye and just shook her head. "Hit by a car."
"Overdose."
"I'm so sorry."
He flashed her an easy smile. "You don't have to be; it wasn't like you think. He was in the hospital after an appendix surgery and his body couldn't process all the medications correctly. No one could have known. It was an accident. And from what Mom says, he was a good guy."
"So where's your stepdad now?"
"He's an EMT. They asked him to stay there until the storm was over, and now he's stuck because of the roads. He said the fire department's helping them carry the stretchers over the snow to the ambulances."
From there, the conversation drifted from Brendan's interests to Desiree's favourite animal — kangaroo — to a filtered version of the adventures of the Doctor and Rose. They enjoyed each other's company as they ploughed their way to the driveway and were eventually called back into the house for a break. Once they had been warmed back up with hot chocolate and a roaring fire in the den, the four went back out, this time Duran accompanying them to play in the snow — and to allow his mother to get some work done. Rose, utterly distracted by the little boy who was both bold and cautious, surrendered her shovel to the Doctor as she entertained the child under the excuse that she was keeping him out of harms way.
The toddler absolutely loved the snow. He immediately dove for the largest pile and slid down it, then practically swam through it, shrieking with laughter as Rose chased him, wiggling her fingers within her mittens as though she were going to tickle him. She caught her companion watching a few times, but just tossed him grins she didn't have to force, and even got Duran to wave once, when he was held up sideways in her arms.
Even with one less person, the job was done before the sun began to set and they were all settled in by the fire once more before dinner. Rose, with Duran curled up against her chest, was leaning against the Doctor, nearly falling asleep, when Angela found them all. She thanked the two travellers profusely, to which they both just brushed it off, and promised them a hot meal within the hour.
By nightfall, Rose was utterly exhausted, but it appeared as though he was wired for sound. He prattled on about this and that, as she changed into a pair of over-large pyjama bottoms Angela had provided, and a t-shirt to sleep in. Once she was tucked under the covers, though, was when he stopped and got serious. "Rose," he began, crossing his arms over his chest. "We need to talk."