Well.. Shit has officially hit the fan for my life. Studying isn't going well, my hands and neck hurt from playing the piano all the time, and, kind of ironically, I met up with the friend I had with the bitchy girlfriend right after I posted the last chapter. He told me he knew something was up with me, I told him about his girlfriend, we ended up kissing. This isn't good. I'm emotionally hungover and extremely overwhelmed with everything that's going on in my life and writing usually relieves stress, so you're getting lots of new chapters! Lucky for you guys, not so great for me.

Enjoy x

Chapter 13 - October

Peeta and Katniss got a cab home together. Prim was going to stay at Rory's house that night, which Katniss had made sure would be supervised by adults at all times, so her and Peeta were alone. It was a little past two in the morning, and Katniss could feel exhaustion creeping in. Her feet were sore from wearing those shoes and her hair was no longer curly, just slightly wavy and limp.

Peeta followed her in to the apartment, grabbed her wrist and turned her towards him.

"You looked beautiful tonight." he said, before fusing his lips to hers. Peeta backed her up against the wall, resting his hand on her hips. Katniss pulled him closer, not wanting to have any space left between them. Peeta responded by wrapping his arms around her and hugging her close to him, never breaking the kiss.

There was no doubt that Katniss was enjoying this, but those nagging voices re-appeared in her mind for the first time in weeks.

You don't seriously think he likes you, do you?

He only wants one thing: Sex. When he gets that, you know he'll leave. Just like Cato.

Katniss panicked and pulled her mouth away from Peeta's, letting out a quiet sob. "Stop. Please."

Peeta's eyes were open, and Katniss could see them fill with confusion and worry.

"What's wrong? Did I go too far? Did I hurt you?" Peeta looked so scared, and Katniss filled with shame. She could feel tears running down her cheeks, and cursed herself for the irrational crying.

"No, Peeta. You didn't do anything, I just.. I need some time. I-I'm sorry." Katniss pushed past Peeta and started towards her bedroom, but Peeta took hold of her wrist and pulled her back to him.

"Please, let me in. Katniss, it kills me to know something bad has happened to you. Tell me what it was and I can help you. Please." Peeta looked so sincere, that Katniss knew it was time to tell him everything. She led him over to the couch and sat down with him, instantly feeling his strong arms wrap around her.

"You know how I was telling you about Cato?" Peeta nodded. "Well the thing he did.. It was terrible. Really, really bad. I didn't leave my apartment for weeks, I had to rely on Finnick to take care of me."

"What did he do?" Peeta asked softly, his voice almost as low as a whisper.

"He came by about a month after he cheated on me. I was alone, in here studying, and he knocked on the door. As soon as I answered it I knew he was drunk. Something wasn't right, he looked.. angry. Like, worse than I had ever seen him."

Peeta was listening carefully, never interrupting.

"I asked him what he wanted, and all he said was 'You.' He kissed me, again and again, and I tried to push him away but he was so strong and I-I.." Katniss erupted into sobs, burying her head in Peeta's chest. Peeta held her tighter, whispering in her ear.

"It's ok, Katniss, I'm right here. It's ok." Katniss took a deep breath and continued.

"He- He just pushed me up against the wall, like you did, and he wouldn't get off me. He wouldn't stop. It hurt so much, Peeta, I was so scared." Katniss began to cry again. "It was my fault. I wouldn't have sex with him before."

Peeta turned her head to look him in the eye. "Don't ever say that Katniss. It was not your fault, and please don't think that it was."

"There's more. There was another guy, called Gale, and we were just friends at first. We hung out a lot, because he was in to archery aswell. He started to get really clingy to me after a while, even though we weren't together. I agreed to go on a date with him after about a month. We went out to dinner, and he started saying some really bad things. Like how it's a shame that someone like me had Prim holding me back. And how Finnick and I seemed a little too close. When we got home, he tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't. He called me a slut, and pointed out how it was no wonder that I was a virgin." Katniss felt Peeta's hand move slightly on her arm in response to that revelation, but he didn't say anything.

"It was only a couple of months after Cato, so I was still pretty sensitive. I slapped him. That's why I've been pushing you away. Every time we get close, I just see their faces in my mind. I can always hear their voices in my head telling me that you'll do the same, but I know hat you would never do that."

"Katniss, I would never, ever, hurt you. Believe me, it broke my heart the day I left America, and I never felt better until I saw you again. I would never do that. You know that." Peeta looked so sincere, and Katniss couldn't help but feel guilty. Tears started to slide down her face, and Katniss made a poor attempt to hide them. Peeta noticed, his eyes filling with concern.

"What's wrong?" he asked, holding her closer.

"I'm so sorry! I-I was mad at you for leaving me and breaking my heart but I never thought that it had hurt you. How can you still want me after that? I've been giving you such mixed signals this whole time and you've been nothing but amazing to me. I don't deserve you." Katniss kept sobbing, seemingly unable to stop.

"Katniss of course you deserve me. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. You're strong, and beautiful, and the most amazing person I've ever met. You took care of Prim when your parents died, and you still do. I've never done anything like that. You're so much better than I am."

Katniss knew in that moment that she had to tell him; Tell him that she loved him. Because she was sure of it. She hadn't been before the wedding, but she was now.

Katniss exhaled a long sigh, and prepared herself. She had never said this to anyone but Prim and Finnick before.

"Peeta?"

Peeta looked down at her and raised his eyebrows.

"I-"

Suddenly, the phone rang, cutting her off. Katniss hurried into the kitchen to grab it, seeing Finnick's number on the caller ID.

"Katniss? Can you come over? Now?"

"Of course." Finnick sounded pretty upset.

"We're going to Finnick's place, something's wrong."

A/N.

Well, there you have it! It was kind of a short chapter, but I don't have a lot of time. I had my art exam today, and it went ok-ish. I have history and geography tomorrow, so I'm kind of dreading that! Wish me luck! Keep reviewing, I need some cheering up right now.