Chapter 15

Kagome had been thrilled when she'd found out that Mattaki had offered Sango, Miroku, Kirara, and Kohaku a place to stay for the winter, and soon had the taijiya convinced that it was a great idea. Especially as their only other option was to crowd poor Kaede practically out of her home again. With the size of Mattaki's estate, there really was no reason to put the elderly woman out so much as to take four beings for an entire winter into her one room hut when the daiyoukai had entire wings that were empty and unused.

But with that offer came a new need – more food. They would need a lot more meat laid in for the winter months when game would be scarce. His servants already had a good amount of dried vegetables and fruits stored, but the meat requirements of four people versus eight were quite different – especially when several of them were predatory youkai and that was practically all they ate.

Their travels were taking them through some very good game areas, and so the males all took the early morning hours before they started their journey and went hunting, bringing down as much game as they could and then cleaning it before bringing it back to camp and wrapping it up in the hides for transport. They hurried the trip home so that the meat would not spoil, arriving back at Mattaki's castle in just under two days with the meat of two full hunts and turned it over to the cooks to smoke for the coming winter. It was quickly decided between the males that they would spend the last couple of weeks before winter truly set in going out every other day or so to hunt some more – that way they would be sure to have plenty, and be in no danger of running out.

In fact, this would give them enough to take some to Kaede as well, in that way helping keep little Rin in plenty, too. A growing child like she was would need a lot of protein to keep her healthy and strong as Kagome explained to the interested company, and while Kaede had a good sized garden and plenty of dried vegetables and even rice, she would not have much in the way of meat, since she couldn't really hunt for herself too well, and the villagers could only spare so much of their own food for her.

It was as they finally arrived back at the inuyoukai's estate that Sango and Kohaku were clued in on Mattaki and Kagome's changed relationship; they had both been asleep when Miroku had found out, and due to circumstances nothing had truly been mentioned since, nor had they really had much time to be overtly cuddling and affectionate.

The slayer's expression was highly comical as she took in the fact that her best friend was being courted by Inuyasha's father.

"Kagome?" she asked, sounding hesitant and surprised, uncertain what to make of the easy kiss that she'd caught.

Mind on other things, Kagome could only blink at her before turning to meet Mattaki's gaze as he called her name in a mirror of Sango's call; his voice was uncertain, however, and that completely wiped the taijiya's obvious question from her mind.

"What is it, Mattaki?" she asked, brow furrowed – she didn't like that hesitant sound from one who was usually so confident.

Flicking a glance around the group as they all looked at him, he sighed, then said, "Are you still determined to sleep in that room that you moved into during Satori's visit?" Cursed visit, he thought to himself. Definitely a cursed visit...

She blinked; she hadn't expected that question at all. Not having even thought about that subject, she frowned, her eyes falling to the ground to stare at some of the autumn leaves laying like a colorful throw-rug across the grass.

"I... hadn't really thought about it, but..." she started, breaking off in surprise when he spoke again, almost urgently.

"Would you be amenable to returning to the one I originally gave you?" he asked. "Please? I had hoped that we could move forward after all of this, at least somewhat... is it really still too soon for you to move even this much closer?"

I don't want to stay the way we have been, either. Things have changed between us, and I... I am ready for more. Her lips tightened determinedly. Yes, I'm ready to move rooms.

Not paying the slightest bit of attention to the confused looks from Sango and her brother or the knowing ones from Inuyasha and Miroku, she started to speak, though she paused in surprise at the look on Mattaki's face – one of disappointment and frustration – before motioning the others into the house, determined to clear up his obviously mistaken thoughts on what she was about to say, and wanting to do so with some privacy, at least.

She looks angry... am I really pushing her too hard? he wondered, his thoughts and instincts agitated. It has been so long already, and we have both admitted our feelings... though, he sighed in frustration, she really wasn't ready to admit hers, she was forced to by circumstances, I know.

He was startled out of his upset thoughts by gentle hands clasping his face; surprised, he blinked and focused once more only to find the beautiful face of his female in front of him and smiling prettily, though with a deep blush. He was also surprised to find the courtyard now empty.

"Mattaki," she said, obviously not for the first time if the slight frustration in her voice was anything to go on, "listen to me. I'm ready. I will move rooms, okay? I'll speak to the servants as soon as we go inside. As long as you're sure that I'm what you want..."

"You have to ask me that yet again? Of course I'm sure, though I'd rather you were moving into my room," he whispered heatedly. "But at least you'll be closer to me once again, and that's better than nothing."

Kagome flushed, but smiled at him. "O-okay," she returned shakily.

A wide smile breaking out on his face, Mattaki bent and pressed eager lips to hers as he slipped his arms around her and pulled her into him. She came willingly, and with an inarticulate murmur against his lips she opened hers, inviting him inside; he took every advantage of that offer, slipping in and drinking deeply of her sweet mouth. It was achingly slow, hot, and indolent, and it had Kagome ready to beg; with a small whimper she did just that, and Mattaki growled back, a deep, vibrating growl of pleasure and encouragement that only heightened the heat of their kiss.

Breaking apart only when he could tell she needed to breathe he curled his tongue along the roof of her mouth as he drew back, leaving his little female shuddering in his arms with dazed eyes and heated cheeks that only made his own blood boil even more for her. Gods, he wanted her so badly; he could only hope that she would not be in that room for long, and that he would be able to convince her soon to move into his room – permanently.

With a sigh he pulled away enough to look down at her. "Thank you, my love – I am so glad that you've agreed. I want you so much, to bind myself to you forever, and I don't know how much longer I can stand to wait. But for you I will try... and this will make it a little easier to do so, knowing that you've moved closer to me. That I've made some headway."

Feeling distinctly guilty as she listened to his voice, hearing the strain in it quite clearly, Kagome nodded and pulled away; grabbing his hand she tugged him into the building, her thoughts all a'whirl as he led her off to gather some clean clothing so she could relax and bathe before the evening meal.

I've really made this so hard on him...

Harder than it had to be. So, I'm scared. I'm a virgin, that's normal. But I've been letting my fear control me, she realized suddenly, letting it dictate my life – and his. That stops tonight, she thought firmly as she watched Mattaki slide the door to the bathing room shut and go off to do his own things with a jaunty wave. His smile, his absolute happiness at the thought that she would be back in the rooms meant for his mate-to-be was tangible, and precious to her for all that. She didn't want him to lose that happiness, that sense of moving forward in their relationship. And she certainly didn't want their relationship to stagnate, which was what she had really been allowing to happen with her fear of the intimacy between two people.

Yes, it's a big step, she sighed as she stepped down into the hot water and settled onto the natural stone lip around its edges, to give myself, my body over to another. Forever. And I'm still scared... but I've never let my fear control me before, and I can't let it now. I have to move forward. I have to.

Bolstering her courage with thoughts of relationships that had gone wrong because of those very fears – her friend Ayumi coming to mind with her failed relationship with her boyfriend because she'd been too afraid to move past a rather juvenile definition of the relationship – she knew that she could not allow that sort of thing to happen between her and the daiyoukai she loved.

She looked down ruefully as her nipples hardened at thoughts of Mattaki and the things he'd done to her in the baths that time as she washed herself, the soap almost feeling erotic on her body – she felt so voluptuous running her hands over her own flesh while naughty thoughts of him ran through her mind. She certainly couldn't deny that her body wanted his – that she wanted him... what female with eyes could turn him away? And that was the bottom line – if she did because of her virginal fright and her – rather tedious, even she could admit it – embarrassment, then she would hate herself forever for losing him to another female. Because that was a more than certain fact – he wouldn't be alone for long, some woman somewhere would definitely snap him up, and she would be out in the cold watching miserably as he found happiness with someone else. Watching in permanent misery, since forever was a very, very long time, and she'd be forced to watch all of it.

No. Not an option. So... all that was left was to reach out and grab the happiness that kami had dropped in her lap, and was – so far – waiting with bated breath for her to accept him.

Inhaling deeply and holding it for a second, Kagome dunked herself under the water one last time to rinse herself fully and then, determination shining in darkened eyes she stood and grabbed a towel, drying off quickly and then dressing even more quickly. She had a lot to do before dinner and, glancing out an open window as she headed for her old rooms to get started at the lowering sun, not much time to do it in. Dinner would be in less than a candlemark.

I hope you like this surprise, Mattaki, she thought nervously to herself as she dismissed the woman he'd assigned as her maid – though she seemed to think her Lord would, the wide smile on her face giving that fact away only too well.

If not, I'm going to look like a huge fool. She shook her head at herself. No... he won't turn me away. He made it quite clear what he really wanted earlier, but that he would take what he could get with me simply moving back into those rooms.

When he finds out that I've not moved into those rooms, but his, he'll be ecstatic. Nonetheless, she unobtrusively crossed her fingers as she spoke to her maid, needing all the luck she could get.

Come to think of it... She crossed her toes too, and then giggled inwardly at her childish gesture.

But she didn't uncross them...

~oOo~

Dinner that evening was definitely an ordeal for the nervous Kagome, at least to begin with. Anticipation was running high inside her for the outcome of the surprise she'd arranged for Mattaki – and if things went as she'd anticipated, she'd be a mated female within hours.

It was a big step, and Sango's prodding wasn't helping matters. Kagome knew she meant well, but...

"So... what brought this on, Kagome?" she asked, glancing between Mattaki and her friend, rather glad that Miroku and Inuyasha were keeping the daiyoukai's attention away from their conversation. She lowered her voice and continued. "Last I knew, you were in love with Inuyasha and grieving over him. Not that I haven't hoped you'd move on from him since it was a dead-end love for you, but... it just seems... I don't know, too soon for you to have changed your heart so completely."

Frustration beginning to well up within her at the questions and sideways comments she'd been making since the meal had started and the male's conversation had distracted them, Kagome gritted her teeth and clamped down on her temper. "Sango, what is your problem? You haven't stopped picking at it since we sat down for dinner! If you really must know," she said sarcastically, "I realized some time ago that I wasn't really in love with Inuyasha. Hell, my mother knew I wasn't from the beginning – she knew it was just a first crush, not real love and told me so quite pointedly. It took me a while to catch up with her wisdom," she told the surprised taijiya bluntly, "but I finally got it through my thick skull that she was right. Not that I don't love the pigheaded jerk, but I'm not in love with him. And yes I grieved, but if you hadn't noticed he's no longer dead, so continuing to do so would kind of be rather stupid, don't you think?"

Catching on to the fact that her best friend was getting aggravated with her, Sango said placatingly, "Look, Kagome, I'm not trying to... to keep you from doing something you really want. But... I just want to make sure you're not throwing yourself into this for the wrong reasons. Especially as he's youkai," she almost whispered, trying to keep their conversation as quiet as possible, "and if you allow him to mate you, that's unbreakable – and forever. It's a big decision," she finished, echoing Kagome's earlier thoughts almost perfectly.

Kagome's eyes softened on her friend, and her irritation faded. She's just worried for me because she cares... "I know, Sango. And I've thought this over for a long time. It hasn't really been all that sudden – Mattaki let me know what he wanted not all that long after we left you all in the village and began traveling together. It's been months now. I know how I feel, and I know how he feels. I'm ready. And truthfully, Sango, we're already bound together forever, ne? Really, all this will do in the end is formalize the whole thing."

Sango couldn't deny the truth of that and she studied Kagome for a few minutes to make absolutely sure, and then she sighed and smiled. "Okay. As long as you're sure, then I'm happy for you." She glanced quickly through her bangs at the hanyou across the table that was talking, explaining to his father their run-in with Hyoga's son and heir, Menomaru. "How... how did Inuyasha take it?" she asked. She was as aware as everyone else that Inuyasha had never loved Kagome in that manner, but equally aware that he had been selfishly determined to keep her heart focused on himself. Her brow furrowed as Kagome started chuckling.

"That... was actually quite... unexpected – and funny," she managed to get out around the giggles the chuckle had degenerated into. "Mattaki and I were both not looking forward to him figuring it out – we'd expected some huge tantrum," she admitted. "But what we actually got... well, you know Inuyasha can be dense sometimes. He didn't figure it out until this trip, actually. Just a few days ago. And we basically had to smack him over the head with it." She went on to explain to her now intrigued friend the circumstances, inciting laughter in her, as well.

Setting her chopsticks to the side, Sango shook her head, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Oh, I could just see the whole thing as if I'd been there. That move has you written all over it – poor Mattaki-sama. You probably frightened the life out of him. I wish I'd been able to actually see Inuyasha's face, though. I really, really do."

Neither had noticed that their conversation had attracted the guy's attentions until a sour, "Keh," interrupted their giggles, and both women turned to see a typical grumpy expression on the hanyou's face. "It wasn't that funny," he said dourly, eyeing his friends with narrowed eyes.

"Oh, yes it was, Inuyasha," Shippo chirped, his own laughter inciting Mattaki's. "You're face was the funniest I've ever seen it. I think I'm gonna draw that – I still have some of those colored waxes that you gave me, mama. I'm careful with them and only use them on really good things – and that was one of the best!"

"I would love to see it when you are done, Shippo," Sango chuckled as Kagome added her agreement, watching their hanyou friend feign an irritation they could all tell he didn't really feel. The mood for the rest of the meal was lighthearted after that, and Kagome couldn't have been more grateful for that fact – it kept her nervousness from developing into a full-blown panic attack.

A little later on, after they had all adjourned to a small sitting room and had a bit of relaxing sake – which Kagome was quite happy to accept – and a nice spot of easy conversation, Sango yawned heavily, and with a smile Miroku excused them for the night. Kohaku and Kirara followed, along with Shippo, leaving Inuyasha alone with his father and an oddly fidgety Kagome.

The hanyou eyed her and then his father with a questioning glance, and Mattaki merely shrugged, just as mystified as his son at her behavior. But Inuyasha had been around her long enough to know that she wanted to talk to his father alone, and feeling oddly nostalgic as he watched her interact with his sire - and the obvious feelings she held for him in her eyes - he excused himself as well, taking some of the sake with him. He was going to need it, as he could feel a full-blown night of reliving his memories coming on, and most of them weren't happy. Sake might help dull that fact down enough to keep him from crying into his wine.

Kagome watched her friend quit the room with that look in his eyes and the sake in his hands, and sighed sadly. She'd tried so hard to heal him, hoped for so long to be the one to be able to do so, but it wasn't meant to be. At least now, though, the past was truly dead and gone and could no longer hold the present as its hostage... meaning that he could actually move on and live. And sooner or later she knew he'd find the female that would help him and heal him in a way she'd never been able to.

With one last sigh as the hanyou disappeared down the pillar-lined hall, her attention was drawn by the only other person left and her nervousness spiked; it was time to face her own future – she couldn't put it off any longer.

"Kagome?"

She turned to face him as he called her name softly and questioningly, forcing herself to meet his concerned gaze. "Yes?"

"Is... is something wrong?" he asked, brow furrowing. "You've been nervous since we got home. Have you-" his face dropped, "-changed your mind about moving ba-"

"No," she said firmly, cutting him off before he could really begin to work himself up on that score. "I haven't changed my mind," she reassured him softly and scooting closer to him, she laid her head against his arm and sighed deeply and contentedly – though still with that nervousness that had been riling him all night, despite his attempts to ignore it and enjoy the time spent speaking to his son and the monk.

"Then what is making you so nervous in my company? Have I done something to offend or upset you in some way?"

It was silent for a moment, and then Kagome shifted; scooting around to face him she took his hand and stared at it while gathering her courage, then looked up at him, a blush washing across her cheeks and down her chest, had he but known it.

"I... earlier, when we first got back," she began softly but earnestly, "and you said that about wishing that I was moving into your room but that you would take what you could get and be happy for any advancement in our relationship, I... I could see that this has really strained you. You've had a hard time holding back your instincts, haven't you?" she asked, holding up a hand and shaking her head as he tried to deny her words. "No, don't try to lie about it, I know you're just trying to make me feel better. Your instincts... they would have already had us-" she blushed even deeper and her eyes flickered to her lap, "-mated a long time ago, wouldn't they?"

Mattaki inhaled, then let it all out in a deep exhale that was more than a sigh. Gathering his thoughts he said, "Yes. Youkai are different in how we do things. I know this, and I knew that our courtship would be different than it would have been were you youkai. I knew... that it would be harder in some ways. But I was willing to go through with it – I still am. So don't feel guilty for this – you are human, and this is a human thing. I cannot regret it, because I cannot regret what you are. I love who you are, and that is a human female named Kagome."

Tears spilled over as she took in his words; her gaze lifted to his helplessly and she stared into his eyes deeply, almost physically feeling the warmth and love he was wrapping her in.

Gathering every bit of courage she had within her, she nodded. "I appreciate that you've given me the time I needed to figure my heart out. But it's time I no longer need," she whispered gently, smiling a little at the frozen, disbelieving look dawning on his face. "Earlier... I didn't have the servants move my things into the rooms meant for your mate-to-be... I was a bit presumptuous, I guess, but I... I had them move my things into your room. If you want me, I'm yours. I'm scared, but I'm ready," she managed to get out before her voice failed her completely.

Her hands were shaking, she was shaking and Mattaki was fully aware of it, though it was a rather distant realization. All he could hear through the buzzing in his ears was her soft voice saying, "I'm ready. I'm scared, but I'm ready."

After it was silent for several seconds, Kagome began to get very worried. Had she presumed too much? But... he'd said he would prefer her to be moving into his rooms, so that couldn't be it. Was he perhaps stunned, instead? So shocked that she'd finally said it that he was unable to take it all in?

"M-Mattaki?" she finally managed to force out shakily, hoping and praying that it was just that very emotion, shock that was keeping him silent and nothing more. She didn't think she'd be able to take it if it were.

Her answer was a tug; startled, she fell forward and was immediately pulled into the most intense kiss she'd ever been subjected to by an almost feral inuyoukai.

Hot, wet, urgent and a little uncontrolled like he didn't know how to stop, the daiyoukai curled his tongue around hers and licked the roof of her mouth, intent on taking all of her sweetness for himself in those first moments after she'd finally given herself over into his arms – into his care. "Mine," he groaned against her lips, "you are mine, all mine," before slipping his tongue back into her mouth for a second kiss.

This one was completely different than the first. Slow, languid, like he had all the time in the world to devote to just tasting her Mattaki explored every inch of her mouth, moaning in encouragement as she followed him back into his mouth and began to explore him in the same sensuous way. But when her tongue wrapped around his fangs and she let out a little whimper, the daiyoukai growled, an impossibly deep, rumbling sound that had her entire body instantly electrified – she felt more alive in that one moment than she ever had. And still he kissed her, stealing her breath, her mind, her very soul through their connection; she didn't demur in any way when Mattaki abruptly stood with her in his arms and began to make his way through the halls of the palace towards their rooms. He didn't stop kissing her even then, and she barely noticed the trip around the seduction he was subjecting her to – and all with only his lips and tongue.

He didn't draw back until they were in the room, and then as he let her down onto her feet and slid the door shut, he couldn't help but to look around in curiosity and excitement as he took in the differences. There was another low tansu for her clothes along one wall, and a little table for her feminine items – hair ornaments and small pots of lip color, her brush and an ivory comb he'd gifted to her, along with one smaller-sized wardrobe to hold the several more elaborate kimono he'd also given her.

That was all the changes there were but to the awestruck daiyoukai it was more than enough, and he turned to look at her as she stood in their rooms for the first time - and terribly nervous - and smiled, nothing but happiness on his face to the relief of the young woman who had been so uncertain of his reaction.

"Did you really worry about what I'd say?" he murmured as he once more took her into his arms. "I cannot say it often enough – I love you, and I want you. I want to be bonded to you." He frowned then as he looked down at her, suddenly uncertain himself. "You do know that if you stay in this room, I will take you as my mate? Because if you are not ready for the whole thing, then it would be best for you to move back next door. I won't take things merely halfway. I will not take you and yet leave you unmated, Kagome, do you understand? It's all or nothing."

For some reason his words seemed to tickle her funnybone, because she broke out in laughter, leaving him even more uncertain as he looked down at her with a deepening frown.

"What is so funny about this subject?" he demanded, beginning to get a bit frustrated.

"I-I'm s-sorry, Mattaki!" she gasped out as she stumbled back away from him a little. "I'm not l-laughing at you, I'm laughing at us," she giggled, her eyes sparking with mirth as she peered up at him, her own nerves gone as amusement took its place. "Listen to us both! Me worried and doubting myself and your words, and you doing the same, doubting my understanding and intentions! At this rate we'll be lucky if we ever get past this habit we both seem to have of misjudging each other's intentions."

He had to admit as he chuckled along with her that she was correct and his frustration faded. They'd done quite a bit of that, waffling back and forth in misunderstanding – but it was time to get past that, as amusing as the whole thing was when looked at in hindsight.

"I take it from your words then that you know that I will mate you should you choose to stay in this room, and that you telling me you were ready meant that you were ready to become my mate," he grinned.

She giggled again, but more importantly she nodded, and suddenly the air of amusement was gone as if it had never been as something older, heavier, more primal took its place instead.

"Kagome," Mattaki crooned, and a shiver traced down her spine.

"Y-yes?"

"Come to me, my love. Give yourself over to me, now."

"Yes," she sighed as she obeyed, and no more was heard from the room for some time, except sighs and murmurs and moans and cries of pleasure – a beautiful symphony of tones that were as old as the earth and just as potent.

To the two kami watching over them, it was about time, as Toyouke* turned to Omoikane* and smiled knowingly.

"Finally, she settles into her destiny. He will watch over her with a glad heart, and so we need have no further fear for her happiness."

Omoikane simply smiled.

Yes, she is safe and protected, and most important of all...

She is loved.

~oOo~

A/N: Yes, next chapter is a LEMON. I'm sure you are all ecstatic, but I'm not looking forward to this next chapter AT ALL. Anyway... 'bout time, eh?

Amber

Toyouke-goddess of clothing, housing, and food.

Omoikane-god of wisdom and knowledge.