Thank you everyone for the reviews :) I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating. I'm so busy with school right now that I only really have time to write on weekends, so this is turning into a much longer project than I'd anticipated. At any rate, I'll try really hard for an update once a week. Until then, here's Wednesday.

(Monday's song was Count Yourself In by Ten Second Epic. Today's song is It's Beginning to Get to Me by Snow Patrol)

Enjoy!

I want something
That's purer than the water
Like we were

"Shut it off!" Mark groaned when the alarm went off the next morning.

"You do it, you're closer," I mumbled, digging my palms into my eyes and watching the blue and green swirlies dance around.

There was a crash as the alarm hit the floor and Mark swung himself out of the bed. I opened my eyes to see my alarm clock in several pieces on the floor. "Hey!" I shouted as the bathroom door slammed behind him and I heard the lock click. "What's wrong with you?!" I yelled as I picked up the pieces of my clock and set them on the table. I was greeted with silence. I'd always thought it was just Derek that had the temper.

It's not there now
Ineloquence and anger
Are all we have

"You owe me a clock," I said when he came out of the bathroom a half hour later. I was sitting on the end of the bed with my arms crossed and giving him the grumpiest look I could muster - which wasn't difficult. My clock was in four pieces and it was relatively early morning.

"You're a world renowned surgeon, Addison. I think you have enough money to replace a ten dollar clock," he said distractedly.

The fact that he wasn't giving this his full attention concerned me. 'You shouldn't be concerned unless they don't care enough to argue,' some random person once said. I can't remember who, although I guess their advice has stuck in my head.

Like Saturn's rings
An icy loop around me
Too hard to hold

"That's not the point, Mark!" I exclaimed, "You broke my clock. I want to know what's made you so mad already this morning that you would break my clock!" Now that I was saying it, it sounded stupid. I don't even think I paid for that clock; I think I won it at some convention or another.

Mark looked at me and sighed, "I'm sorry about your clock, Addison," he came over, brushed my hopelessly tangled hair out of my face and kissed me softly. "I can't tell you why I'm mad because you'll tell me it's a stupid reason to be mad, and then we'll fight… I don't want that." With that, he picked up his briefcase and left my apartment.

"You can't just say that and leave!" I exclaimed. I picked up a small plastic piece of my clock and threw it at the door. It made a satisfying clack as it hit first the door and then the floor.

Lash out first
At all the things we don't like
Or understand

When I arrived at work an hour later, Mark was standing in front of the OR board and laughing at something with Dr. Stevens. An hour ago he was breaking clocks, and now he's laughing.

With an intern.

What is the world coming to?

"Dr. Stevens!" I said brightly, competing with Mark for who can be the most happily out of character. "How is Jessie Kiren doing?"

The tone of the conversation changed instantly.

"She's hanging on by a thread. I just got here, but her heart stopped twice more last night and they're starting to worry about the amount of epi they've been pushing."

I sighed, "The nurses don't know what they're talking about. I love them, we need them, but until I say it's too much epi, it's never too much epi. Right now, if we can keep that baby alive, that's all that matters."

Mark caught my eye and offered a small smile before I turned to go check up on the NICU.

And it's beginning to get to me
That I know more of the stars and sea
Than I do of what's in your head
Barely touching in our cold bed

"Her pressure's been dropping since last night," a nurse said as I picked up Jessie's chart.

"With the amount of epi you've been pushing, it shouldn't be. It should be increasing, if anything," I said, scanning through the notes and checking the monitors. I quickly came to the only possible conclusion.

"Stevens, if she doesn't get a heart within the next twenty four hours, she's going to die." My pager went off as I spoke, saving me having to look at the expression on Izzie's face.

"How is she?" I asked Karev as I hurried into Anna Davis' room. She was pale and sweating.

"Late decals in baby A," he said, adjusting her IV, "we've got to get her into surgery right now."

"Why didn't you page me?!" I started to get angry. He was compromising the life of our patient.

"Well I did page you. I paged you before there were late decals. They just started."

"Not good enough Karev. Go let the OR know we're coming. Then, page Dr. Stevens and tell her to prep the Kiren baby for her heart transplant, and page Dr. Burke and tell him to meet us in OR 2," I focused on Anna as I prepared her to be transported, "It'll be alright Mrs. Davis. Your girls are going to be fine."

I held Anna's hand as the orderlies wheeled her down the hall. Mark was standing beside the OR board still idly sipping his coffee. He glanced at first me, then my patient, and then back to the board before raising his eyebrows. He held out his coffee and I took it as we passed. I was going to need caffeine to get through this surgery.

Are you beginning to get my point
They're always fighting with aching joints
It's doing nothing but tire us out
No one knows what this fight's about

I looked up into the gallery as I allowed Alex Karev to cut the cord on Baby C, the final quad to enter the world. Mark was standing up there, as I knew he would be. It's as if the guy never does any work around here, yet his department brings in the highest revenue.

Alex hooked Baby C up to a ventilator while various OBG-YN residents cleaned and swaddled the other three babies. "We've got to keep enough oxygen in the body," I said as I removed my gloves, "Why, Dr. Karev?"

"If there's no oxygen, the brain will die and the heart won't beat, rendering it useless for transplant." Even though it was an easy question, I found myself impressed with his precise, calculating response. Izzie Stevens could learn from him.

The answer phone
The lonely sound of your voice
Frozen in time

Dr. Stevens was already waiting in the next OR with Jessie Kiren. She and Dr. Burke had her chest cracked already, and were waiting on this baby's heart. I avoided eye contact with Dr. Stevens who reminded me so much of myself. Too attached to her patient, I worried what she would do if the transplant failed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her exchange a glance with Karev, and to my surprise, she smiled

I shut my eyes and inhaled as the new surgical gloves were snapped against my wrists. "Scalpel," I demanded.

I hate transplants. While it's amazing for the recipient and I'm giving them life, I'm also usually killing someone else; a helpless baby that hasn't done anything wrong. It always makes me so sad, and I question why I became a doctor. I paused, handing the scalpel and pickups to Dr. Burke.

Looking up into the gallery I see Mark, yet again. "Stalker," I mouth.

"You wish," he mouthed back, turning and leaving the gallery.

I only need
The compass that you gave me
To guide me on

Then, of course, I remember it's because I don't perform transplants nearly as often as I save lives.

And it's beginning to get to me
That I know more of the stars and sea
Than I do of what's in your head
Barely touching in our cold bed

"So how is she?" Izzie asked, coming into the neonatal care unit that night after the surgery.

"She's doing alright. She's a premature infant that's just had major surgery. She's doing as well as can be expected," I said, removing my glasses and shutting the chart. Her forehead creased in concern, and I hated watching the way she fidgeted with the hem of her scrubs. "Stevens, go home."

"But someone needs to watch her –"

"You know how many people there are in this hospital that can watch her. Go home, right now."

"But –"

"Izzie, go."

She turned and left the room, looking distinctly annoyed with me and close to tears. I sighed and reached into the incubator, letting Jessie grip my pinky finger. She was strong. She'd be just fine. "What am I going to do with her?" I asked.

Are you beginning to get get my point
They're always fighting with aching joints
It's doing nothing but tire us out
No one knows what this fight's about

Mark met me in my office with a box wrapped in pretty matte purple paper that glinted with silver specks that peaked my curiosity. We headed towards the elevator in silence, and at the last moment, I turned towards the stairs. I was not in the mood for an awkward elevator ride.

Not after performing the surgery where I killed a baby, and had to care for her mother and three sisters.

Not after watching Izzie Stevens hide tears she was crying over a patient.

Not after stressing about what was wrong with Mark. He broke my fucking clock.

It's so thrilling but also wrong
Don't have to prove that you are so strong
Cos I can carry you on my back
After our enemies attack

Suddenly, he pressed me against the wall in the stairwell.

"Mark," I exclaimed, shocked and confused. I could feel his body press against mine, and I struggled to look up into his eyes. When our eyes finally met, I was stunned to see that the mischievous twinkle was absent and the icy surface had melted, revealing far more than I'd ever known was there.

"Addison," he breathed, and it sounded like he was struggling to get the words out. "I love you. I love you, and it's driving me crazy. You drive me crazy. I don't have control of myself and I can't handle it. That's why I broke your stupid clock. I was so frustrated that here I was, waking up next to you and then I found myself wanting to do this for the rest of my life. I'm not that person, Addison, and I don't know how to deal with this."

He released me from my prison between him and the wall, and I just stared at him for a moment. I could not believe he'd said that. I didn't know how to comprehend it.

I tried to tell you before I left
But I was screaming under my breath
You are the only thing that makes sense
Just ignore all this present tense

I stepped forwards and I kissed him. He immediately kissed me back, not the hard, controlling kiss that it usually was, but a gentle kiss filled with so much love it left me breathless.

I was so wrapped up in this instant that I almost didn't hear the sob coming from somewhere below us in the stairwell. Mark and I peered over the edge, and there, sitting on the top step was Alex, cradling a sobbing Izzie in his arms.

The intensity of the previous moment lost, we both tried to speak at the same time. "Uh, this is for you," he thrust the purple box towards me as I muttered something about interns being too emotional.

Mark held out his hand, "Let's go home." I bit my lip, and took his hand, stifling a giddy grin.

We need to feel breathless with love
And not collapse under its weight
I'm gasping for the air to fill
My lungs with everything I've lost

"Addie?" Mark whispered as he stroked my hair that night.

"Yeah?" I said into the darkness.

"I hope you like your new clock."

I smiled.

So, this chapter really didn't end where I'd intended it to. Sometimes these characters just write themselves. Anyway, please tell me what you think. Can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Maybelline