Sorry it has taken so long, I am feeling a lot better so here is the final chapter...
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She walked. Erin had no idea where she was going. She just drifted in around the city. Not sure how she got there, but there she stood standing on ground that changed the world. She looked at the memorial, so many names so many lives. It was like a stone thrown in the middle of a pond... a ripple effect. She knew a lot of names.
"Erin," a soft voice cut into her train of thought. Erin turned to see Monica Cummings. She had been married to Doyle Cummings. He never made it out of the North Tower. Erin felt ashamed at that moment, for feeling the way she did.
"Monica," Erin hugged.
"How are you?" She asked.
"Okay," she answered.
"Just okay?" Monica inquired.
"You saw the press conference?" Erin sighed.
"I did, so how are you really doing?"
"I've been better." Erin answered honestly.
"That's understandable. You've been through a lot. Its hard you know being a victim. There are no certain way to feel. You are on an emotional rollar coaster and you don't know how to stop it." Monica replied.
"You sound like a councilor." Erin commented.
" That's because I am. I council victims of violent crime and families of victims as well. After Doyle, I didn't know what to do. Or were to go. I was angry, mad, sad it was like I was in a fog. Then I was surfing the net and there it was go to school to be a psychologist. So thats what I did. Its gratifing and I've helped so many people."
"I'm glad for you. Has it given you peace?" Erin asked, looking for her absolution.
"In some ways it has, but there will always be a hole in my heart. Doyle and I were high school sweethearts. But this gives me a way to keep going. I have group therapy on Thursdays." She answered.
"I'm not sure thats a good idea."
"Okay, how about house calls. If not yours then mine. Some of my more affluent clients see me there. Its more private and right on the way home." She pointed out.
"I ran out of my office today." She blurted out.
Monica just listened. "Why do you think you did that?"
"He was there. Reed. He was waiting for me. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I couldn't breath."
"Thats normal. If you didn't feel like that I'd be worried. You are in the first stages of wanting to heal."
"Once you make that choice to heal, it will be long. It will be painful, especially talking about it. But after time it will be easier, the memory will fade in time."
"Sounds easy." Erin nearly laughed.
"Its not. You are reliving the worst moment in your life. I'm sure you are asking 'what if'."
Erin nodded. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea. Especially if she wakes up in the middle of the night with a nightmare. Nicki. She couldn't do that to her. She deserved a mother that is focused on her. Not on a cold blooded murder who will be rotting in the ground. With no hope.
"Lets say I do this. What am I going to tell my family?"
"You can tell them whatever you want. Its not about them, its about you and coming to turns with what happened. To be able to live with it. To be able to come out of this stronger than before. Its about reclaiming your strength, your security."
"Maybe your right. My dad said I should talk to someone. And one thing about us Reagan we are a proud bunch."
"So can I pencil you in for Friday at say two?"
Erin took a deep breath. "Friday it is."
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Jamie stepped off the elevator. "Hey, is Erin around?"
"She left for the day." A worried expression settled on the woman face. "I've never seen her like that. She saw the press conference and left."
Jamie frowned. This wasn't like Erin. She was one of the strongest women he knew. He pulled his cell phone and dialed their father.
"Hey dad, Erin isn't with you?" No, she's not in her office. And her assistant said she bolted. She doesn't know where she is." Jamie informed him.
Jamie talked to his dad for a few more minutes and then hung up. "If she comes back tell her I stopped by." Jamie headed back to grab a quick bite before returning to his tour.
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Frank sat behind his desk, drumming his fingers on his desk. Where was she? Had he pushed her? He took out his cell and dialed her number...
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For the first time since the attack Erin felt like she had an option, felt like she could do something. Her cell phone ringing cut through her thoughts. "Hey dad," she chirpped.
"Are you alright? Jamie went to your office to pick you up for lunch and you where not there." He told her.
Erin stopped, and sighed. "I completely forgot. Jamie must be pretty upset with me."
"He was more worried about how you were." Frank replied, hoping she would tell him how she was.
"I'm actually okay." She reassured him. She wasn't ready to tell him about her run in with Monica. She wasn't exactly sure how to approach the topic. And as Monica pointed out it was no one buisness but hers.
"Are you sure, Its not like you to just up and leave."
"I just had to get out of there." Erin told him.
"Okay, if your sure." He told her.
"I am, and I'll talk to Jamie." She told him.
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Erin spent the rest of the day walking around New York City. The city amazed her, it there was always something to do. It didn't matter if it was twelve in the middle of the day or three in the middle of the night. There was always something happening.
"Mrs. Boyle," the small meek voice called.
"Becki," she greeted. She hugged the young woman.
"I heard on the news that Reed is dead. Is it true?"
"Yeah, its true."
"I can't believe it," she said shocked.
"Believe it, one shot."
"He went after you. I'm sorry."
"Why? You have nothing to ge sorry for."
"If I would have testified, if I would have been stronger..." Becki voice trailed off.
"No its not your fault. The animal is gone, and you don't have to live in fear." Erin reassured her.
"Maybe." Becki shrugged.
"There is no maybes about it. This is not your fault, you survived."
"Did I? I spend most of my life in my apartment, I can barely leave my apartment without hyperventilating. I wake up screaming from nightmares." Becki wrapped her arms around herself and took a few deep breath.
"I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do."
Becki smiled, "Thanks, but how are you?"
"Okay. No thats a lie, I'm a wreck. I keep replaying that moment. Trying to figure out if I could have done something different. I keep playing the 'what ifs'." Erin openly admitted.
"You can't do that. If you do that it'll eat you alive. Trust me. It took me years to just step outside my apartment. True I've gotten better but I still jump at my own shadow."
Erin chewed her lower lip. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have unloaded on you like this." Erin huffed.
"No, its fine. Who elese is going to understand but anther Reed victim. I'm just glad that he didn't get a chance to do anything to you." Becki croaked.
Erin felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Thank you. Becki would you be willing to see a friend of mine? I think she could help you. I'm going to see her."
"I don't know, listen I just wanted to see how you were and to tell you I'm glad your okay." Becki gave a half hearted smile and turned vanishing into the crowd.
Erin didn't know what else to do. She stood outside her office building. She had to be okay, she had to strong. Just not only for self, but for Nicki.
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The week had gradually come to an end. Rachett had been found guilty on all charges, ten years. That had made Erin whole week.
"Way to go sis," Danny quipped.
"It was a solid case," she shrugged.
"So lets celerbrate." He chirped.
"Can't, I've already got plans."
"You?" Danny raised his eyebrow.
"Yes me, believe it or not I do have a life. Its fairly small but it is a life." Erin shot him a daring stare.
Raising his heads in surrender, "Alright. Alright."
The two shared a smile and went their seperate ways.
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Erin took a deep breath as shd made her way up the sidewalk. Was she doing the right thing? Would this really help? Too late to turn back now...
"Erin, you are right on time." Monica greeted.
"I almost didn't come." Erin shifted nervously as she walked into the house.
"I have some tea. Would you like some?" Monica offered.
"Thanks. I wasn't sure what to expect. Thought there would be a couch or something." Erin looked around.
She walked in with a tray with a teapot and some tea cups. Monica smiled. "So I hear congradulations are in order." Monica sat down across from Erin.
"Yeah, Rachett got ten years. Hopefully he'll never see the light of day."
"Lets hope." Monica smiled.
"So how does this work?" Erin asked.
"There is no protocol, you can talk about whatever you want too. Its whatever you feel comfortable with."
Erin nodded. And the emotional gates opened...
THE END
Thanks for reading. I do have a few ideas for a new story so we'll see where my muse takes me.