"You think so?" I say, a little too breathlessly. I want you. I've wanted you so much for so long that I can't remember not wanting you.
However, I do have my reputation to uphold.
You stop your…wow…very thorough exploration of the underside of my jaw and push up to rise over me. I'm captivated by the subtle play of muscles along your shoulders. So much so that I miss what you say the first time around.
"What?" I drag my eyes from the very tantalizing view of your breasts pressed against mine.
"I said…" You say this with a grin as you shift over me to press your body between my thighs. "I very much think so."
"Kind of confident. Which I can appreciate." I hold back a groan by the skin of my teeth as you start to almost imperceptibly grind your hips.
Imperceptibly. As if I wasn't very much aware of the fact that I am swollen and can feel the slight tickle of your hairs against me.
The twinkle in your eyes should tip me off but I can feel your nipples sliding across mine and it's distracting. You're smiling at me and I reach up to touch the dimple I love so much.
"Oh, you will."
It's my turn to smile, if only to give my mouth something to do before I devour you.
"Yeah?" Yeah? Come on, Olivia. The best you could do is one word? Pitiful.
You don't answer me. At least, not verbally. You've turned your cheek and brought just the tip of my thumb into your mouth.
The feel of your tongue stroking against my thumb punctuates every press of your hips against me. Your brow furrows and the smile drops from your face but your eyes never leave mine. I can feel the groan leave your throat as I bring my other hand to caress your hip.
I drag my thumb across your mouth and pull you into a kiss, our tongues clashing together. With my hand freed from the warmth of your mouth, I grab a fistful of your hair and yank you back a little bit.
"You win." Your eyes burn into me for one intense second and then your mouth is back on mine, biting my bottom lip and tugging gently.
I feel an answering pull deep inside me and instinctively, I tilt my hips and press harder into you. You arch your back, my hands skimming along your hips and I don't think I have ever been this wet in my life.
I was about to say something to you. At least, I think I was. Whatever it would have been comes out as your name disguised as a groan.
You've slid further down my body, placing my wetness directly against the smooth skin of your stomach. But that's not what has me unable to say your name, much less remember my own. You've resumed your interest in my breasts. My nipples are hard before you ever take them in your mouth.
I can't help but watch you, holding tight to your shoulders as your tongue and lips work in concert to drive me crazy. I'm trying desperately to say something other than these inarticulate sounds I can't help but make.
But, I can't. Your tongue is tracing the tender space between my breasts and even though it's taken a few moments, you've figured out the perfect rhythm of your hips.
The one that is forcing me to slide against you, leaving evidence of my wetness along your skin. Making it easier for you to brush right against my…
"Look at me, sweetheart." I hear the plea in the low tone of your voice and force my eyes to open.
Planting my feet a little firmer on the bed, I start rocking against you in earnest. One hand with a solid grip on the comforter, the other buried in the hair at the nape of your neck.
My eyes want to close so badly, but you're murmuring to me in Spanish and your eyes won't leave mine. It's almost too much. I don't know most of what you are saying but my body understands the pleas and love behind the words.
With one last grasp of your hair, I reach down and grab another handful of comforter, trying to find purchase in the fever of your body against mine.
"I'm close." That's all I can whisper to you before I feel the tingling start deep in my lower belly, radiating all the way to the ends of my body.
I know you are watching me but any embarrassment I might feel at my vulnerability is erased in the last few seconds before I let go.
"I love you."
I feel the words against my lips. And then nothing, as my body explodes into a thousand burning pieces. I can feel my thighs shaking against you and my hands flex uncontrollably against the bed. I lick dry lips and wonder if I've gone deaf because all I can hear is my labored breathing and my heartbeat drumming a mad cadence against yours.
You've worked your hands under my shoulders and are resting your head against the crook of my neck, your breathing just as strained as mine.
I should move. I should hold you or at least touch you but nothing seems to work except for my heart and my pulse, which are currently trying to race out of my body.
I really had no idea. Well, that's not entirely true. The minute I kissed you and felt how soft your mouth was, I sort of had a clue. I remember watching you dance in the kitchen and the way your hips…the same hips that were just moving against me, sliding and pressing…
Yeah.
No idea. None. Who was I kidding?
"Are you done?" The smile I feel against the side of my neck entices my arms to skim along your back and hold you closer to me.
"Am I done, what?" My amused tone doesn't fool you and your smile is replaced with a kiss before you lean on your elbow to stare down at me.
Beautiful.
"You know what." My shy smile teases out your dimple as you continue. "The whole town could probably hear you thinking."
God I hope not.
I laugh a little at that and tug you closer for a soft kiss. I leave one hand to keep you close to me and bring the other to capture yours. Your fingers immediately fit against mine and I can feel my heart tumbling further into you.
"Natalia, I've never…I mean…" I begin but you cut me off with a kiss.
"I know." Another kiss, longer this time. Love seems like too small a word to contain what I'm feeling for you. I bring our joined hands to my lips and I realize we are both smiling at each other like idiots. Neither one of us speaks for a few moments, just enjoying the feel of the other close. I can feel my eyes starting to droop as you run your fingers softly through my hair.
I turn and settle you a little more comfortably against my side. A light rain has started to tap its soothing heartbeat against the roof and I can feel the events of the night starting to catch up to me. I won't be awake much longer and with your head tucked against my shoulder and the solid warmth of your body snug against my side, I can't figure out why I'm fighting it. You sigh and snuggle against me.
"What are we going to tell Emma?" You tighten your grip against me as I ask you this, your hand coming to rest above my steadying heartbeat.
"The truth."
"The truth, huh?"
"Yes." The early traces of slumber have lowered your voice but I can faintly hear the last thing you say before I drift off with you finally in my arms.
"We're a family."
I'm briefly aware of a few things at once. One, the sun is massaging my eyelids like a petulant child. Two, I'm naked. A little cold, since the covers have decided to take residence down by my feet but, a lot naked. Three, and most importantly, I'm not alone.
I'm not alone.
Your fingers are playing softly around the smile that has broken out across my face. In a haze, I feel them drift over my lips, across my chin, sweep down my neck, tickle my collarbone and start to slide down my chest.
My chest. My chest with the scar. My chest with the scar in the sunlight.
I can feel my body bracing to get up but your hand has flattened out and is pressing me against the bed. Your thumb is running slowly up and down my scar and despite the gentleness in your touch, I'm afraid to open my eyes.
I didn't have to think about this last night. It was dark and I was so caught up in you but now, you can see. You can see everything and what if this ugly scar is a reminder of what you lost to have me here and I don't think I could take it if you…
Kiss me there. Your lips glide across my scar and end with a soft kiss at the top of my ribs. I still haven't opened my eyes yet, much less moved but my eyes open and my hands immediately cradle your face when I feel the first tears warm my skin. My thumbs brush them away and I'm struck by a moment of doubt that I'm not really worthy of the love I see in your eyes.
"No one's ever looked at me the way you do." I say this almost as an accusation, long hidden insecurities creeping into my voice.
"They don't see what I see." You press a kiss onto the palm of my hand and smile through the last of your drying tears. "They see what they want. Or what they think you are. Or were."
While you're talking, your leg has worked its way across mine and my stomach tightens at the soft feel of the inside of your thigh against me. Very busy fingers are playing along my ribs and come to rest palm first against my hipbone. Your thumb teases along the skin below my bellybutton and as you continue speaking, I am focused on nothing but you.
"A couple have been where I am now." Another brush of your thumb against me, a little lower this time.
"More than a couple." I smile a little as I say this and you acknowledge my statement with a smile of your own.
"Yes. But they are not here now, are they?" I think I'm supposed to answer you. Or maybe it's rhetorical? All I know is my breath is backed up in my lungs and all I can get out is a small gasp as your fingers are inching ever closer to my center.
"Just me." Only you.
"Just you." I echo your words, my hands raking through your hair to pull you in for a kiss. The feel of your tongue against mine, so soft and wet, is making it hard for me to track the movement of your hand.
A brief moment of hesitation and then I'm pulled out of the kiss, my legs instinctively opening wider for you as I feel your fingers dipping lower. Teasing and searching and then…
Oh my…
You've slipped inside me, swallowing my groan with a kiss. I thought I was ready for you last night but your tongue is stroking mine in rhythm with your fingers and I'm surprised at how quickly I'm almost there.
I break the kiss, needing to see you.
So much has happened these past few weeks. Waking up last night and seeing you sitting next me, all of it feels like a dream since then. I don't know how many times I've thought of loving you and being loved by you only to have to tuck it away again and again. Every time I put it away, it got harder and harder to bring back. I started to think that maybe it would be easier to just keep it away, that it couldn't hurt as bad if I didn't try to think about you. I was wrong. It still hurt. I didn't think anything could be as bad as denying my feelings for you.
But then you actually said yes to Frank's proposal and that was worse. How could I admit my feelings when you loved someone else and in that love, had committed yourself to them? It was tearing me apart to be the good friend that you needed and not just spill my guts to you every time I caught you looking at me with something I hoped was more than friendship. I could feel myself giving up and then last night happened. Everything I ever wanted came to me on a rainy night and to think, it took your courage and strength to finally…
"Olivia, stay with me..." You whisper to me. An entreaty spoken softly even as you change the angle of your wrist to press harder into me.
I'm thinking way too much.
I give in to your demand and my only thoughts are of you and what you are doing to me. Not that I think I have the words for what you are doing to me.
You are using your thigh for leverage and those very wicked hips are moving and I know I can't hold back much longer. Sweat has started to break out along my lower back and your tongue is wreaking havoc along my neck and shoulder.
Where did you learn to kiss like that?
You've reduced me to moans and pants, a mindless animal straining against the tether of release. I have never felt so incredible in my life.
You must hear something in my voice because you abandon my neck for my lips, ravishing me with kisses while your fingers work faster. Inspiration or luck, and I could care less right now, has your thumb brushing against the most sensitive part of me.
I don't know who is moaning louder, you or me. It's unbelievably sexy to hear you and know how turned on you are just by touching me and I can't take it anymore. I feel everything gathering inside me and for a timeless second, my whole being is concentrated into one tiny bundle of nerves. And then I am crying out my release against your mouth, my muscles trembling with the effort.
Your hand leaves me and runs along my thigh, pulling me close to you as you settle once again on my chest.
"Natalia…where…how did you…I can't even..." I give up trying to make sense of what you can do to my body and just hold you to me, giving your hair a tug when I feel you start to laugh.
"It's not funny." I try to be indignant but the effect is ruined by my own laughter. You tilt your head back and smile at me.
"I think it's cute."
"I have been called many things and I'm pretty sure 'cute' has never been one of them."
"Okay." You fake a sigh and continue, your smile slowly replaced by a look of pure love. "How about sexy? Smart, beautiful, caring and," A quick kiss. "Mine."
I cup your cheek and pull you to me.
"Yours." I confirm, kissing the corner of your mouth. "I love you." And despite all we've shared, I still hold my breath as I wait for your reaction.
Your eyes close briefly before capturing my gaze with your own. "I love you too, Olivia."
With those few words, I feel all the tension of the past few weeks just fall away. Holding you in my arms, I feel a peace and contentment that's eluded me for quite some time. There's a small part of me that never wants to leave this space, leave this little haven that we've created here in my bed. Yet I know better than most that reality has a way of creeping in, no matter how much you guard against it.
Besides, not everything that is waiting outside my bedroom door is all bad. The other part of our family is out there and even though I know we'll have to be careful about how we navigate that conversation, having you here with Emma and I just feels right. It always has.
I drop a kiss on the top of your head and you nuzzle a little further into me. As your body shifts, your breasts brush along the side of my ribs and I swallow convulsively. We could still have a little time, right?
I eyeball the time on the clock radio next to the bed and briefly consider hurling it across the room. But then you'd probably insist on cleaning it up which means you'd have to leave my side. I would get to see you walking away though, and that seriously cannot be discounted. I quickly discard that notion seeing as how I already have you here with me.
I just start to turn my body towards you to get you on your back when I see your eyes track to the evil clock radio. Your smile is full of amusement as you grab my hands and pin them above my head, straddling my waist in one motion.
"Not helping."
You kiss the tip of my nose in apology. "I know." Even your dimple is teasing me. "But Emma is going to be home in a couple of hours and we have a lot to do around here today."
I can feel a very not sexy pout start to form and that only makes you smile wider. "Pobrecita." You lean down and grant me one very deep, very wet kiss before pushing off to land lightly on the floor.
"I'm going to take a shower and then I'll make us some breakfast. You're just going to have to wait."
I watch you walk away and laugh at myself at the very unladylike grin that spreads over my face. Looks like I got my wish after all.
I hear the sound of the shower turning on and despite the very intense activity of a little while earlier, I feel myself respond to the thought of you in the shower. Naked. Wet. Warm.
I'm up and striding out of the bedroom before I know it.
"I am so not waiting…"