The story goes on! But you've been warned, people. Bring on the Kleenex.

Bella's POV:

"Bella, you have to eat. Please, do it for me," Esme begged.

I picked up my fork, pushing the food around on the plate. She'd gone all out to make it look delicious, to tempt my non-existent appetite.

Twenty-six days, seven hours, and nine minutes had passed since I lost my reason to live. I had no interest in anything. I was just…numb. Jacob had been by a few times, but I think even he realized it was useless. He couldn't fix me this time. Charlie didn't know what to do with my grief – he left me mostly with the Cullens. So I guessed it could be said I was alone, except for them.

"Bella," Esme's pleading voice brought me back to the present. I looked up into her golden eyes, and felt a twinge of shame. She was grieving too – what right did I have to make her worry about me?

Slowly, I took a bite, not tasting the food as it slid roughly down my throat. I waited a second to be sure it wasn't going to come right back up, then took another. And another.

Esme's sigh of relief only compounded my guilt.

"Movie, Bella?" Carlisle asked, pointing me towards the shelves where the Cullens' extensive DVD collection was housed. He was trying to steer us back to normalcy, and that included Friday Movie Night, a tradition that had apparently gotten started when Alice joined the family.

"Is it my turn to pick?" I asked listlessly, wandering over to the case. Everyone took their normal places – Emmett in the recliner, Rosalie seated on his lap. Jasper and Alice sat side by side, hands clasped, on the floor in front of the couch. I sat on the couch, sandwiched between Esme and Carlisle.

He used to sit at one end while I stretched out, my head in his lap. I would inevitably fall asleep halfway through the movie, and then they would mute the TV while I entertained them with my sleep-talking instead.

One more thing that would never be the same again.

I picked something out of Emmett and Jasper's side – something sure to contain lots of action. Nothing with romance.

"All right, Night of the Zombie Killer!" Emmett crowed, but his voice was not as rambunctious as usual. I forced a smile in his direction as I popped the tape in. "Just for you, Emmett," I said, taking my spot on the couch. Esme pulled my feet up in her lap while I rested my head on Carlisle's shoulder.

Though I didn't tell anyone, this was usually the only sleep I managed to get – napping with one of them. I dreaded closing my eyes. The nightmares had never been so bad – not even after Italy. So most nights I played my favorite tape…my lullaby. I kept the volume low so as not to wake Charlie. Kind of pointless, since I usually spent my nights screaming my lungs out.

I kept waiting for him to hint that it would be a good idea for me to move in with the Cullens, but he never did. He was sticking it out, holding out hope that the old Bella would come back.

One more person I would end up disappointing, when –

I cut the thought off. Alice must not know.

Carlisle's cold hands brushed lightly over my hair, and I closed my eyes, trusting that his presence would keep the nightmares at bay.

As Emmett's zombies took over the movie screen, sleep took over my grief-exhausted body.

I dreamed about our meadow.

"Bella."

I was sitting on the Cullen's front porch, watching Emmett and Jasper wrestle half-heartedly on the lawn. That's how everything got done these days – half-heartedly. No enthusiasm. Just trying to do it and get through it.

Rosalie's voice caught me off guard, but I patted the seat beside me. "What?"

I was mildly surprised when she took it. We sat there in silence for a few moments, before she spoke.

"Carlisle says you've changed your mind about becoming…one of us."

I shrugged. "My reasons for wanting this life weren't completely selfish, Rose. Eternity without him is no eternity at all."

"I can see that now."

It was the closest thing to an apology I'd ever heard from her.

"Losing Edward has made me see a lot of things," she went on. I flinched at the mention of his name, but if she noticed she didn't show it. "One, I was wrong to treat you the way I did. I've put myself in your place a thousand times, but I never weighed your reasons. And if it was me and Emmett, well, who's to say I'd have chosen any differently?"

She held my gaze even though her words were killing both of us. "And second, we're not as invincible as we'd like to believe. Coming to grips with…Edward's…death," she stumbled over her brother's name, "has made me face my own mortality. I want to change, Bella."

The whole family was gathered in close range pretending they weren't listening, but Rosalie didn't seem to mind.

"You can," I said at last, because it seemed wrong not to. "It won't be easy, but you can do it. Emmett will help you."

When I said his name the big guy jumped over the railing to stand next to his wife. "You bet, Rose," he said, his face serious for once. "I'm proud of you, baby."

"While we're all here," I said, "I would like to speak to everyone."

Instantly everyone quieted, all gazes turning towards me.

I cleared my throat; this was turning out to be harder than I thought it would. "I need some time."

No one said anything, just watched me with varying degrees of anxiety. I knew Jasper was trying to get a feel on my emotions, and Alice would be scanning the future, so I made up my mind to move on without him. I would use this time and then everything would be like it was before.

"We all need some time," I went on. "It's not fair to any of you, forced to babysit and worry over me when you need to make time for your own grief."

They all started to protest, but I held up a hand and went on. "I know you don't mind. But the fact remains that we need some time apart to deal with this in our own way."
Carlisle looked at Jasper.

"Hope," he replied to his unspoken question. "Sorrow, yes, but hope."

"Alice?"

Her eyes clouded over. I concentrated on making it past this.

When she came out of it, her grief-darkened eyes settled on me. "It will be fine," she said quietly, and for the first time hope began to stir on her face. "This will be good for all of us. We'll go to Denali."

When Carlisle was satisfied I wasn't going to commit suicide while they were gone, he came over to sit beside me, in the seat Rose had vacated. "Bella, if this is truly what you need, we'll spend two weeks in Denali. Not a day less, not a day more. But I promise you this – we will come back. You are part of us now. No matter what we have to do, we're going to get through this."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I choked, accepting his loving embrace, forcing my thoughts to stay only on my next step of my plan.

After the Cullens left for Denali, a strange peace settled on me.

Slowly, methodically, I cleaned my room at Charlie's. I threw out the junk, organized my clothes, wrote a letter to Mom, and gathered all my mementos of Edward and placed them in a box. Pictures I couldn't look at, CDs I couldn't listen to. Like my dreams I packed them away, sealing the box as if it would keep my grief at bay.

Once, the third night the Cullens were away, I wondered what Alice had seen. I let myself wonder what my life could be like, if I followed through and worked this out, forced myself to live without him. Would I be happy? Would I choose the Cullens' life?

Thinking about it made me feel tired and old. I couldn't do it. It was unfathomable I could ever crawl out of this black, empty hole.

I washed my truck. Every inch of rusty metal received an equal amount of attention. It had been a good truck, but like everything else memories of him surrounded it.

When it was clean I stepped back and surveyed my handiwork, satisfied.

"Looking good, Bells." Charlie had come up behind me.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, turning to give him a hug. He looked surprised, then his arms settled around me.

I'm sorry, Dad.